Work Text:
I am not a weak person
But my few weaknesses define me
Please don’t assume
Assume that I meant to be sharp
Assume that I’m truly soft
I want to holler
“Stop perceiving!”
I fear
I fear so much
Too much
Too much that Im afraid of
You
Myself
An ex girlfriend that I don’t talk to
My mom who I won’t talk to
My future
My past
The strangeness that is my present
My smile scares me
It’s a sign that I’ve become comfortable
Complacent
Agreeable
How long until that comfort twists
Into something bitter
Something predatory
I don’t want to hurt you
I fear you’ll want to hurt me
Then again,
I fear strangers want to hurt me
You’re not special in that aspect
You are special though
No one else makes me feel so content
You astonish me
With sheer human nature
I think I could learn with you
How to be trusting
But I fear I’ve misplaced that trust
You’ve given me no reason to
You shouldn’t have to prove that
You make humanity beautiful
Something mundane and repetitive
You breathe it back to life
A revival of trust
My words jumble when I think too much
They jumble and condense
Vines turn to blocks
I have dreams about you
They intertwine with nightmares
You laugh at my joke
Then tell me I’m helpless
I drown in guilt
Guilt from villainizing loved ones
Guilt from trusting them
Guilt from agreeing with him
Guilt when I didn’t
If guilt was an ocean you’d be a sailboat