Chapter Text
b. calhoun
barney thinks his mom is an angel & she tells him they're all just god's little paperboys with pathetic wispy curls for hair and that their wings are just barely impressive. she says he's the best one of them all & he believes her, he really, really does.
he wishes he was more like her, maybe her at eight, because he hears her smile when she dwells on childhood memories.
she's old but they have a nice little house smack dab in the middle of a gloomy & scrappy suburban neighborhood & barney is only semi-good at making friends. "talk to your friends' friends then their friends," but barney feels bad about it because it feels like he's just collecting them for fun at that point, so he keeps a couple close since he likes it more that way anyway.
he's still terrifyingly shy and stands shorter than his peers but he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to ramble about his favorite cars to an unsuspecting girl. she has applauded him for his confidence more than once.
barney's mom drives him to & from school and keeps a case of 70's soul n' jive cds in the glove compartment, locked up so that barney can't get his grimy & grubby kid hands all over them because she says they'll sell real good five, six years from now. he thinks she's strange for thinking so far into the future but in some area of his mind he's more so nervous about why she does it. he thinks she's scare-der than he is & leaves it at that, content five year old brain at peace.
barney's mom still cooks him his favorite pasta & whips up his pb & j the way he likes it, pinches his cheek until he's seven cause by then he shakes her off and hides his head bashfully. she still writes his last name in blue sharpie on the tags of his jackets & sweaters but doesn't bother to clean the stains when she washes them out. she cuts his hair when it grows past his ear & ties his shoes in a way that takes up too much time but it's alright cause he catches her smiling up at him & it makes his face all warm. barney wishes he could curl into her & never let go, hip to womb.
she passes when he turns eight & barney isn't sure if he's cut out for the childhood "pleasures" she used to recall for him. he lives with grandmaw for a year then more & dreams about how pretty she is as an angel before he clasps at his bedsheets & buries his weary head under it all.