Chapter Text
Alicia slid down her door so that she was hugging her knees and started to cry. She knew that she had fucked up. She could feel herself falling for Leighton. It wasn’t the falling that scared her, it was the sudden stop, that would shatter her heart, and she had to pull the ripcord before it was too late. It just sucked because she understood where Leighton was coming from. The whole situation sucked, but, in this case, there was nobody really to blame. She couldn’t go back into the closet and Leighton wasn’t ready to come out. She had to move on.
The next day she had a leadership meeting at the Women’s Center. She didn’t feel like going. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep. Last night closing the door on Leighton—who was dressed in a deck of cards—felt very final and now it was hitting her. Hard. Somehow, she got herself to the meeting only five minutes late. Tova and Ginger were already engrossed in one of their stupid fights. Alicia sat down.
“Hey, Alicia, settle something for us. Who was the original feminist? Zheng Yi Sao or Anne Bonny?” asked Ginger.
“Or neither because modern standards of what feminism is, cannot be applied that far back in history. I mean simply doing the same thing men did without changing the system so that –” said Tova.
“Can we not?” said Alicia.
“Is something wrong?” asked Tova.
“Nothing is wrong! I just don’t fucking care okay! I don’t care about your fucking stupid arguments,” said Alicia.
Ginger hit the safe space bell. That’s when Alicia started to cry for the second time in as many days. This time it felt more monumental because there were other people in the room. Alicia buried her head in her hands. She took a deep stuttering breath and tried to collect herself. She hated crying and she hated crying in front of people even more.
“I’m sorry. Your arguments aren’t stupid,” said Alicia.
“They can be sometimes,” said Tova.
They handed Alicia a handmade handkerchief. Alicia looked at it a little suspiciously before wiping her face with it. Her nose was starting to run. Crying was gross.
“Thanks Tova.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Ginger.
“Not really. I just broke up with someone and I think it’s like final, and I don’t want it to be,” said Alicia.
“I didn’t know you were dating anyone,” said Ginger.
“We weren’t just dating, she was my girlfriend actually.”
“Do we know her?” asked Tova.
Alicia shook her head. There was no way she was going to out Leighton and it was just easier to lie. If she said yes, they would just ask her who it was. They might be able to put the pieces together when she told them that the girl she was seeing was deeply in the closet.
“She is in the closet. Like very deep in there,” said Alicia.
“I so sorry Alicia,” said Tova.
“Consent to hug?” asked Ginger.
“Consent given.”
Ginger always smelled like burnt sage but this one time Alicia didn’t care. She melted into the hug. They didn’t get any work done that meeting. Alicia never had planed on getting work done on the last meeting before Thanksgiving break but now there was no way anything could get done. Tova and Ginger would want to know as much as possible about the breakup and they would both try in their own ways to help her feel better.
***
Two days later Alicia was on her way home for Thanksgiving break. It was a long drive back to Newark and she alternated between singing to herself and screaming at divers who had no business being on the roads. When she finally pulled into the driveway of her parents’ house, she feels like she needs to sleep for a week to be okay again. She doesn’t have the energy for her family right now, but she doesn’t have a choice, they’ll be right up in her business as soon as she walks in the door.
A ball of pure energy almost topless her over when he takes a running leap into her arms. Her nephew Kai who’s only three wraps his legs and arms around her.
“Hey there buddy,” said Alicia.
“Auntie Allie! You made it!”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?” asked Alicia.
“Mom said I could wait up for you to get home.”
“Did she now?” There is no way that this is true, but Alicia isn’t going to call him on it. She is always working on keeping her cool auntie status.
“Yep!”
Kai nodded his head enthusiastically. Alicia put him down so that she can pick him up again in a way that is more comfortable for her small frame. She ended up giving him a piggyback ride. She kicked off her shoes and moved into the kitchen where she knows she will find her mother and older sister talking over a bowl of edamame. Her white mother had taken on a lot of Asian, food habits after marring a Japanese man.
“Look what I found! A big scary monster,” said Alicia.
Kai giggles.
“Kai you’re supposed to be in bed!” said Joy her older sister.
“I wanted to say hi to Auntie,” pouted Kai.
“Don’t worry I’ll put him to bed. Kai how ‘bout I read you a bedtime story?” asked Alicia. She didn’t mind at all giving her older sister a small break from mom duties.
Alicia carried Kai up to the room he and his mom were sharing for the Thanksgiving break. It’s just the two of them. Kai’s father didn’t stick around long. Alicia had watched her older sister turn into a superhero raising her child as a single mother. She was so strong. Luckily, she lived and work near enough that Alicia and her parents could help out.
Alicia’s parents house wasn’t big. There were three bedrooms in it, but she and her sister had always shared a room growing up because the third bedroom was used as an at home office for their mother. Kai and Joy were staying in the room they had shared as kids and Alicia was staying in the home office. It was going to be tight, there was only one bathroom in the house and five people. But it was only for a long weekend. They would make it work.
It didn’t take long for Kai to fall asleep now that the excitement of Alicia returning home had run its course. She only had to read half of a picture book and he’s out cold. Alicia retreated back downstairs to the kitchen.
“He’s asleep,” said Alicia. She grabbed a handful of edamame and squeezes a bean into her mouth. She’s only half aware of what she was doing.
“Is something wrong sweetheart?” asked her mother.
“It’s nothing really,” said Alicia.
“You look heartbroken,” said her mom (Carlotta). Alicia almost chokes on the soybeans she just put in her mouth.
“Mom! Let the girl chew first,” said Joy.
Their mother always seemed to just know things without them telling her. It was her most annoying trait. She had known before Alicia had come out of the closet that she was a lesbian. She had known before Alicia had even put it together. She knew that Alicia was going to get her helix pierced, and when she got a tattoo. She knew when Joy started dating her baby daddy that he wasn’t good news. The two sisters joked that she was secretly a witch because of it.
Alicia finishes the food in her mouth.
“Well, am I right?” asked Carlotta.
“I just broke up with a girl who was so deeply in the closet she might as well be in Narnia.”
“Oh, honey I’m so sorry,” said Carlotta.
“Yeah, it sucked. But I think it was the right thing to do,” said Alicia.
“It was,” said Joy.
“I didn’t want to,” said Alicia.
She started to cry. She had almost made it 48 hours without crying. She had been really proud of herself. She had made a dating profile to try and move on. It had very little information on it. The only thing she had put on it was that she wasn’t going to date closeted girls. It had felt mean, but she couldn’t go down that path again. Leighton had taught her that she had a firm boundary around this issue. It sucked that she had this knowledge about herself. She would rather have Leighton than know this about herself.
“Oh, honey come here,” said Carlotta.
Alicia let herself be hugged but her mom.
“Where’s dad?” asked Alicia.
“He’s at work. There was a spill,” said Joy.
Their father worked at a lab. When there was a spill it’s a big fucking deal because the lab has dangerous bacteria, and viruses in it. A spill means that her father could be at work all night. Alicia was a little disappointed by this.
“Okay. Well, I’m tiered I think I’m going to head to bed,” said Alicia.
“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” asked Carlotta.
“I’m fine mom,” said Alicia.
“Okay if, you’re sure.”
Kai was the one who woke Alicia up by jumping onto her. Alicia groaned. It was before seven in the morning. She hadn’t woken up that early in a while. Now that she was a junior in college there was no reason for her to wake up before eight ever.
“Oh, no! you have awakened the tickle monster!”
Kai ran out of the room shrieking. Alicia ran after him. She ran right into her father.
“Hi dad!”
Her father had an unreadable expression on his face. He had resting Asian dad face, and Alicia had learned over the years that even though he looked stern he was proud of her. Alicia pulled him in for hug. He stood there for a moment before hugging her back.
“It’s good to see you,” said her dad. (Tony)
“You too dad,” said Alicia before running off after her nephew.
Thanksgiving at the Yamada was not a traditional Thanksgiving. They had realized a few years back that the turkey dinner wasn’t something that any of them enjoyed. So, they went full Italian meal. Pasta, salad, fresh bread, and tiramisu for dessert. It made everyone much happier than the Turkey and mashed potatoes.
***
Before she knew it, she was heading home. Thanksgiving had been nice. It was good to get away from campus for a while. She had much more fun than she thought she could. Campus had way too many memories. Leighton and she had only dated for just over two months, but it still felt like a little piece of her was missing. She felt a little pathetic to be honest. She really needed to move on, like she told Leighton to do.
She opened the dating app that she had put on her phone before leaving campus. It only took a few minutes of swiping to realize that her heart wasn’t in it. She wanted to meet people the normal way. Her finger hovered over her phone. She almost deleted the app form her phone, but she changed her mind. In a week she might feel like using it.
A week later Alicia was glad she didn’t delete the app. She was in the Women’s Center when it happened. Tova usually so composed made a noise almost like a squawk. Alicia looked over at them in concern.
“Tova you alright?”
“Did you know that Leighton has a dating profile?”
“Wait what?” asked Alicia.
“I’m on this app called sapphic love, for women and non-binary folks who date women. Have you heard of it?” said Tova.
“I’m familiar,” said Alicia.
“Me too,” said Ginger.
“We I was swiping, and I saw Leighton. Did either of you know that Leighton liked women?” asked Tova. They looked like their eyes are trying to escape their head.
Alicia was the one that told her to move on. She didn’t know what to feel. She was a bit sad because it meant that their relationship was truly over, but she was also proud of Leighton. She also didn’t know what the ethics of retroactively outing Leighton by telling Tova and Ginger that she already knew that because they dated. Alicia decided that she wouldn’t say anything.
“That is so interesting. Do you think she wants to join my coven? We need one more person,” said Ginger.
“Leighton absolutely does not want to join your coven, Ginger,” said Alicia before she could stop herself.
“You never know,” said Ginger.
“I think it is safe to assume that Leighton – who bought her own chair – doesn’t want to be in a coven,” said Alicia.
“You might—”
“I don’t want to be in a coven Ginger,” said Alicia.
It was times like these that Alicia wished that she could turn to Leighton and share a glance that promised that they would roast Ginger after. Leighton was so good at relentlessly making fun of people and as much as it pains her to admit it Alicia found that part of dating Leighton super fun.
“All right friends it is time for us to start this meeting. Tova, do you want to take notes,” said Alicia.
***
Over the next few weeks Alicia started to hear about Leighton’s exploits from friends. It wasn’t that surprising that Leighton was getting it, but it didn’t mean that Alicia wanted to hear about it. She even heard about a fight that happened in Leighton’s dorm room. Apparently three different women showed up there at the same time. Leighton didn’t really want to date any of them, and had just slept with them, but it was messy because of all of the inner dating in the queer community at Essex. Everyone at the Women’s Center was talking about the fight. Alicia still didn’t reveal to anyone that she was the first person in Leighton’s life who knew she was a lesbian. Knowing that Leighton was fully back on the dating scene made Alicia finally open her dating app.
The first date she went on after Leighton sucked. The girl she took out was clearly just trying to make her ex jealous, and while Alicia understood pettiness, she didn’t want to be any part of whatever that mess was. The second date was just boring. And the third date was just plain stupid. The more dates she went on the more she missed Leighton which was the opposite from the desired affect.
She might have missed Leighton a little less when she heard from a friend about how she had gotten chlamydia from Leighton. Apparently half of the lesbians at Essex had it and Leighton was ground zero. Alicia was mildly impressed by how fast Leighton worked.
Sam: She didn’t so much as text
Alicia: Sorry dude that sucks ☹
Sam: do you also have it?
Alicia: one of the only perks of not being lucky lately
Well, that was one way to make people talk. Alicia almost reached out to Leighton but then thought better of it. If she didn’t even bother to tell the women that she slept with about have an STI she wouldn’t want to hear from here ex about it. Not that it was in any way her fault, but still.
***
Winter break was very nice. For Christmas Eve, Joy and Kai stayed the night so that they could wake up with the family. Once again Alicia was happy to be away from the shit show that was campus. Since Leighton had come out of the closet the whole campus had been buzzing with news about her, and Alicia needed a break from all of that. And also, she had quite the semester with all of her duties with the Women’s Center and the classes she had chosen.
She was so excited for Kai to open his gift. She had spent a lot of time looking for something that he would find awesome. Kai was going through a phase where he thought that trains were the coolest thing ever.
“I love it Auntie Allie!” Kai said. He threw himself into her arms.
“I’m so happy you like it,” laughed Alicia.
Kai took train toy into his hands like it was made of solid gold. His eyes were large, and his smile went from ear to ear.
“That’s not all I go you,” said Alicia holding up a train ticket. It was a train ticket to Washington DC. “We’re going on a train together.”
“YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND!”
All Alicia could say in response was to laugh. She was really looking forward to taking Kai on a train and then to the Natural History Museum in DC. It was going to be a long day filled with a hyper three-year-old, but it would worth it because she would get to spend it making a person happy.
***
As the weather got warmer Alicia started to go on more dates. Some of them were even fun. She started to feel more like herself. It was easier to convince herself that she was over Leighton. But there were no dates that made her feel anything special. While they weren’t actively bad, and some of them were cool and she could see being friends with them, but they had no spark between them. She lamented this fact to Ginger and Tova near the end of the year.
“Why can’t I go on a normal date with a nice lady?” asked Alicia.
“At least you are going on dates again,” said Ginger.
“Yeah maybe,” said Alicia.
“My tarot cards told me that you’d find someone soon, they also said that Leighton was going to come back to the Women’s Center,” said Tova.
“I think you read them wrong,” said Alicia.
“It’s always possible, tarot is an art not a science.”
“All right everyone we need to talk about our fundraiser,” said Alicia.
That night Alicia couldn’t fall asleep. She finally gave up and tried instead to read one of her textbooks. But none of what she was reading was leaving any impression on her brain. She swung her legs out of bed. And before she knew it, she had her phone in her hand and she was scrolling through old text threads with Leighton. Then she was texting Leighton. It was admittedly it was too early in the night to double text an ex, but her fingers seemed to work on their own accord.
She didn’t expect an answer right away, but she kept checking her phone anyway. She finally fell asleep with her phone in her hand. It wasn’t until afternoon the next day that she got a response. She had just given up on getting one when her phone chimed.
Leight: I’d love to see you
Alicia: I’ll be at the Women’s Center
Leight: Until when?
Alicia: too fucking long
Leight: Ooooak I’ll be there
Even though she knows that Leighton is coming she still is somehow surprised when she walks into the door. Alicia had spent so much of her time trying to convince herself that she is over Leighton. But now they are in the same space and it’s clear that she isn’t. There is no fucking way that this is what it feels like to be over someone. Her heart still beats faster whenever Leighton looks at her.
“So, to be clear you invited me here for free physical labor then,” said Leighton.
“Yeah, but you know, it shouldn’t take too long because we only have like 1200 left,” said Alicia.
It almost feels like old times the four of them siting there and working. When Tova invites Leighton to the fundraiser, and she ask if she could bring the girl she’s seeing, Alicia can’t help but be a little jealous. She knows that Leighton wasn’t in a place where she felt safe being out when they were together, and she respects that, but she wished that things had been different anyways. She also very curious what Leighton’s girl is like.
“You should bring your new girl I’ll be exited to meet her.”
It takes her a second to realize that Ginger and Tova are staring at them in confusion. Then she remembers that she never actually told them that she had dated Leighton.
“Did you two date?” asked Ginger.
“I didn’t know you dated,” said Tova at the same time.
“Did you not tell them?” asked Leighton.
“Alicia has been mopping about missing her ex this whole time. We just didn’t know it was you,” said Tova.
“Hey! I have not been mopping!” said Alicia.
“You kinda have,” said Ginger.
“Can we get back to Alicia never telling you all that we dated?” asked Leighton.
“I was trying to be respectful of you being in the closet.”
“But I’m not in the closet now,” said Leighton.
“But you were we dated I just though, honestly I don’t know what I thought,” said Alicia. She could feel her cheeks turn red.
***
The night of the fundraiser Alicia spent a lot of time getting ready. She wanted to make quite the impression on the woman that Leighton was dating. She wanted to look like hot shit and make the girl that Leighton was dating feel just a little insecure. She slicked back her hair. She put on the largest sunglasses she could and a lot of costume jewelry rigs. She looked into the mirror. She was hot shit.
At the fundraiser she tried to have fun. The turnout was much better than she could have reasonably hoped for. Sure, most of the people were there as personal favors to friends but she hadn’t realized that the Women’s Center folks had so many friends. She wondered around the party. Then she saw Leighton dressed as Carol from the movie Carol. With her was a lady that looked so much like her. She was oddly dressed like Elle Woods.
“Hey Carol! Hold me closer tall blonde dancers,” said Alicia.
She could see Leighton’s eyes travel up and down her short farm. And she knew that her eyes lingered a little too long on her boobs.
“Okay, Elton,” said Leighton.
“Little known fact. The ‘L’ in Elton stands for lesbian,” said Alicia.
“Well Alicia this is Tatum, Tatum this Alicia,” said Leighton.
Alicia stuck out her hand for a firm handshake.
“Oh, it is so nice to meet you. Just so you know I usually wear much bigger sunglasses.”
The reaction that Tatum had at meeting her kind of made Alicia’s night. It was clear that Leighton and Tatum weren’t on the same page. And as the night went on, they seemed to be drifting even further apart. She couldn’t help but lurk in the background while the pair was having an argument that could be relationship ending.
But Alicia couldn’t really help but notice that the fight left Leighton looking sad. She hated when Leighton looked sad.
“Y’all okay,” asked Alicia.
“Yeah. Yeah, I just want to focus on having a good time,” said Leighton.
The rest of the night felt far too close to dating. Alicia was starting to wonder if she was wondering into dangerous territory. She didn’t want to be that girl that cheated with a girl in a relationship. But the longer the night went on and the tipsier she got the harder it was to remember that, so she did the only thing she could think of she drifted away from Leighton.
***
Somehow Alicia got saddled with Ginger babysitting duties. Ginger inexplicitly convinced two more blood banks to let her give blood. Tova and Alicia played rock paper scissors to see had to take care of her and Alicia lost. Ginger wasn’t easy to take care of. Alicia had to spend a lot of time coaxing food and juice into her. She finally got her to eat some vegan ice cream. It was going to be a long night. Ginger started to do something the approximated dancing.
That’s when her phone lit up. Alicia looked at it, not expecting it to be her ex-girlfriend inviting her to a party. But she was quick to text back. She couldn’t help the big smile that creeped over her face.
Leight: I’m going to the dare or dare party. You should come
“Why are you smiling so big?” asked a loopy and anemic Ginger.
“No reason.”
She looked over at Ginger. She was really pale and looked too much like a corpse. There was no way that it was safe to leave her alone tonight. As one of her two friends it was her duty to make sure that she got plenty of carbs and sleep.
Alicia: Ginger needs a babysitter tonight
Leight: Bring her with you
Alicia: I don’t think that’s a good idea
Leight: oookay ☹. See you tomorrow?
Alicia: sure 😊
She wanted to go to the party even though the last Theda party she went to had ended badly. But it was a bad idea for Alicia to go to a party where she would be in close proximity to Leighton. Not after the fundraiser where she found it hard not to kiss her. Leighton was with someone else, and Alicia needed to respect that no matter how hard it was to do so.
Suddenly a shockingly nibble Ginger stole Alicia’s phone from her hands.
“You’re texting Leighton. Ooooooh you have FEEling for Leighton!”
“I do not!”
“You do and it’s beautiful. Let go to that party,” said Ginger.
“Ginger, you need to rest so that you can grow back like all of your blood,” said Alicia.
“Not nah I’m going to that party, and you can’t stop me.”
Which is how Alicia ended up at the end of the year Dare or Dare party. Nothing about frat parties had changed since she last been to one. She still thought that they were extremely stupid. But luckily it didn’t take very long for her to find Leighton in the mess of all of the bodies. Leighton looked relaxed and confident in a way that really did it for Alicia.
“Why don’t you go sit down?” asked Alicia looking at Ginger who still looked very unwell. Ginger was going to be a problem later, but right now Alicia couldn’t be bothered to worry about it. Leighton gave her an inquisitive look. “She’s fine. So how was Kappa?”
“Um, I quit.”
“Oh no! did you find a blonder place to live.?” Leighton didn’t say anything waiting for Alicia to catch on. “Wait you’re serious?”
“I am. I decided I ‘d rather spend my time at the Women’s Center. With um people I actually like,” said Leighton. Her eyes drift up and down Alicia’s body as if to say ‘you’.
“If this is because you vandalized another statue and got community service for it, I will find out.”
“Um also I have this.” Leighton pulled out a check and handed it to Alicia. Alicia looked at it and then looked at it again.
“Holy shit. $30,000?”
“My mom was going to donate it to Kappa so I told her where it would do better things.”
“This is going to completely save us.”
And then Alicia was kissing Leighton. She didn’t even remember making the choice to, she was just doing it. She pulled away embarrassed of what she had done. It wasn’t right. Leighton was dating someone. She was awful.
“I’m so sorry. I should not have done that.” She started to back away, but Leighton pulled her closer.
“No, no, no, no. No, you should have.”
“What about your girl, Tatum?”
“I ended things with her. The night of your fundraiser, actually.”
“Because of how hot I looked in my Elton John costume? You know I still have that. I can go get right now.”
“Shut up,” laughed Leighton. Then they are kissing again. It is better than their first kiss. It better than any of their kisses ever. They are out in public, but they might as well not be. It could be just them back in Alicia’s apartment. And Alicia knew that this is what their relationship was missing last time. Freedom to just be, without having to worry about who was around. Freedom to grow.
“Do you think we should get out of here?” asked Leighton.
“Yes! But we have to take of Ginger first,” said Alicia.
They both looked over to where Ginger was sitting. She looked like she was about to pass out. It was a bad call on Alicia’s part to let her come here tonight. Alicia pushed through the crowd to get to her friend. Alicia pulled her to her feet.
“Let’s get you home,” said Alicia.
“No not until you talk to Leighton.”
“Ginger I already talked to Leight. It went well she’s coming with us,” said Alicia.
It turned out that getting an anemic Ginger out of the party without her doing something like dink random things that people hand her was nearly impossible. Leighton was not afraid to being an outright bitch which made things a little easier. But Ginger was barely able to walk in a straight line and Alicia and Leighton had to support most of her weight.
***
Once they got Ginger out of the party it was much easier to get her back to her apartment. They finally got her back and feed her some instant ramen and water and put her to bed. Once she looked like she was reasonably comfortable they left her.
“Do you think that Ginger is going to be fine?” asked Leighton.
“Tova is going to check up on her in the morning,” said Alicia.
“That makes me feel better,” said Leighton.
“Do you want to go back to my place or yours? I think we have some talking to do,” asked Alicia.
“You live alone.”
“Good thinking.”
They end up mostly talking that night. Alicia makes them tea and they sit in her bed and talk about everything. It feels so good to get everything out in the open. It gives them freedom from their past mistakes. They talk about their time apart and they finally apologize.
“I am sorry by the way. For how things ended,” said Alicia.
“Me too I just couldn’t see how being out wouldn’t end everything about my life and how I thought I wanted it to be.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed you to come out. I made it all about me and my needs I could have met you halfway or something,” said Alicia.
“But I’m not sure I would have been able to meet you even a quarter of the way. It took being broken up with for me to change anything,” said Leighton.
“Oh Leighton.”
Alicia leaned over to kiss Leighton. The spark she had being missing with all the other girls was there ten-fold with Leighton. Alicia wanted to pull off all of Leighton clothes. She wanted to push her down onto the bed so that she was on her back and fuck her until she came. Then fuck her again. She wanted to worship Leighton slowly until she came apart trembling with Alicia’s name on her lips. Alicia wanted to but she didn’t.
“We still have more to talk about,” said Alicia pulling away while she still had her wits about her.
“I think we’ve done enough talking.” Leighton moved to connect their lips together again.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I’m always right.” Leighton kissed her again.
“Leighton what is this to you?”
“It’s me and you making up.”
“Are we back together?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“Can we kiss now?” asked Leighton.
“Yes.”
Alicia and Leighton fall asleep much latter worn out from doing everything but fucking each other. It took more energy to stop than it should have, and Alicia was only half sure it was the right decision. When they do fall asleep Leighton was the big spoon. Alicia felt better than she had in a long time.
In the morning Alicia is woken up by Leighton trying not to wake her up. Alicia groaned and reached out to try to keep Leighton in bed. It didn’t work. Alicia rolled over so that she could sit up. She looked up at Leighton.
“I have to go babe,” said Leighton.
“Five more minutes.”
“I have to go have breakfast with my roommates.”
“Why?”
“Because I have to. It’s our thing. You can come with me if you want,” said Leighton.
“I feel maybe this a roommate thing and I would be in the way,” said Alicia. She couldn’t help but smile when she answered. Leighton would never have so causally invited her to meet the roommates the first time around.
“Yeah of course.”
“Look I think it’s very sexy to be invited to your roommate breakfast, but this seems like a last roommate breakfast of the school year or something,” said Alicia.
“Well, yes. Maybe we can have dinner later?” asked Leighton.
“That sounds like a plan.”
“Just to be clear I mean just the two of us maybe at a restaurant,” said Leighton.
“Text me the details.”
Alicia gets up on her knees so that she can kiss Leighton. She can’t help herself. Leighton returned the kiss before slipping into the bathroom to change. Alicia flopped back on her bed. This is not how she pictured this morning to go but this was pretty okay. She was going on a date tonight with the girl she had been pinning over.
Alicia got out of bed so that she could take a shower. Dinner was hours away, but she wanted to be ready. She texted Tova and Ginger to come over and help her pick out an outfit. She didn’t really trust Ginger, but she had forced Alicia to go to the party last night, so she had to come and be a part of this. Tova really did have a sense of fashion.
There was a knock on her door. Alicia opened the door to find two of her best friends. Tova and a slightly less pale Ginger.
“You called,” said Tova. They walked into the studio apartment.
“Are you feeling any better Ginger?” asked Alicia.
“Tova came over and made me eggs and cheese with a bagel and cream cheese and a side of fruit salad,” said Ginger. Alicia raised her eyebrow at her.
“You don’t even eat any of those things except the fruit,” said Alicia.
“But it turns out eggs taste so good,” said Ginger.
“Duh,” said Alicia.
Ginger glared at Alicia but walked into the apartment anyway. Alicia pulled out some of her favorite clothes and laid them gently on the bed. She had a lot of plaid shirts, and leather jackets.
“What is the vibe of tonight?” asked Tova.
“I don’t know,” said Alicia.
“How do you not know?” asked Ginger.
“She invited me to eat breakfast with her roommates then when I told her that might be weird, she told me we should get dinner tonight,” said Alicia.
“Well Leighton bought a chair so she wouldn’t have to sit on old college furniture so I’m guessing it’s expensive,” said Ginger.
“The suit!” said Alicia.
“The suit?” asked Tova.
Tova and Ginger shared a look. They didn’t know about the suit. Alicia pulled it out of her closet and went into the bathroom. She put it on. It was tailored to fit her just right. It was black and under it she wore a white blouse that had a plunging neckline. She put on her necklace that hung down between her breasts. She walked out of the bathroom. Both Tova and Ginger looked impressed.
“Wow,” they both said.
“Yes, I look fantastic, but what if it’s a more causal date?”
“For fuck’s sake just text Leight and ask her,” said Tova.
“Fine.”
Alicia: Leight where are you taking me?
“Okay I texted her,” said Alicia.
“And?” asked Ginger.
“Ginger it’s been like two seconds,” said Alicia.
Alicia looked down at her phone anyways. There was a response almost immediately. Alicia could feel her heartrate increase. She started to type right away.
Leight: Someplace nice
Alicia: Okay just figuring out what to wear
Leight: why? You always look cooler than most people in the room
“What she say?” asked Tova.
“It’s gonna be the suit,” said Alicia.
“Yeah it is,” said Tova.
“Can I ask you a question? Why did you ask us over? Don’t you have like other cooler friends?” asked Ginger.
“I do. But somehow you two became my best friends,” said Alicia.
It was true. Over the last year running the Women’s Center together Tova and Ginger had become the closest friends she had. She had gotten used to telling them everything. They were somehow her closest confidants. And they were there for all of the Leighton drama even though they didn’t know how much more dramatic it was for her than for them.
“Aww,” said Ginger.
***
“Umm Leight? Why is there a limo here?” asked Alicia.
“I don’t own a car like you do so I had to rent one,” said Leighton.
“Oh, you had to rent a limo?”
“Shut up,” said Leighton. She leaned over and kissed Alicia. Alicia kissed her back. She loved kissing Leighton even when she unnecessarily rented a limo for a date.
“Where are you taking me?” asked Alicia.
“On our first real date,” said Leighton.
“There is no place in this town that is fancy enough to justify a limo.”
“Sure, but I didn’t get a limo because I thought we needed a limo, I got a limo because I thought it would be fun to be in a limo with you,” said Leighton.
It turned out that it was fun to be in a limo with Leighton. There was so much room and privacy so they could do things that they couldn’t otherwise to in a car that was a normal length. It was dangerous to be in the limo, really. There was something about seeing Leighton all dressed up that made her want to do things. Her tight black dress was hugging her curves, her blonde hair perfectly wavy, Leighton looked hot.
“Are you sure you don’t want to skip dinner and just ride around town in this thing. It’s kinda hot,” said Alicia.
“I think we should go to dinner.”
“Fine.”
It turned out that the restaurant that Leighton picked was the first place they had ordered Postmates from. It wasn’t at all fancy, and they were both overdressed. But it was also thoughtful and sweet. Leighton had remembered what they had done that first night, and she also knew that a fancy restaurant wasn’t the way to go.
“We are both way over dressed for this,” said Alicia. Leighton came up so that she was standing right behind Alicia. She leaned over and whispered into Alicia’s ear, “nice cloths are more fun to pull off someone at the end of the night.”
“Oh, so it’s that kind of date.”
“I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
“Me too,” said Alicia.
People openly looked at the pair of them as they walked through the restaurant. Alicia grabbed Leighton’s hand. All the eyes on her made her weirdly uncomfortable for some reason. She wondered if they were looking because the pair of them were absurdly overdressed.
“I think they all think we’re crazy,” said Alicia. Leighton just giggled.
At the table Alicia scanned the menu. There was really only thing on it that she wanted but she thought it would be good form to look anyways. But there was no reason not to get the mole enchiladas.
“Do you know what you want?” asked Alicia.
“Yes.”
They fall back into old conversation habits. Leighton was just so easy to talk to and Alicia had missed the ease of being in her company. They talked about all sorts of dumb things, like which of the seven dwarfs would make the best dad. Leighton caught her up on all of her roommate drama. Alicia didn’t know how she managed to be place in a dorm with the most dramatic people on earth, but she had.
“Your roommates are like a TV show,” said Alicia.
“Yeah well, I don’t think they are going to be my roommates much longer. Kimberly and Whitney have something weird going on, and Bela is acting super weird even for her,” said Leighton.
“What are you going to do?”
“I can always move off campus.”
“You could.” Alicia had to bite back the other half of what she wanted to say. She had almost suggested that Leighton and she could find an apartment together. It would be far too early to even say that out loud, even for a lesbian.
“Hey, are you going home for the summer?” asked Leighton.
“Well, my lease is up so yeah. I have a job back home in Newark. The pay is shit but it’s also not at all what I want to do. But at least I’ll be closed to my nephew and sister. Are you going back to the Upper East Side?”
“I am. I have some fancy internship that I didn’t have to work to get. And rich people don’t really live in Manhattan in the summer so I should have the penthouse mostly to myself. My parents will mostly be in Martha’s Vineyard.”
“What? not the Hamptons?” asked Alicia.
“Martha’s Vineyard is more exclusive.”
“Wow, you rich people, are so strange. But if you need company in the penthouse you’ll have to yourself I could make sure you don’t get too lonely.”
“I was hoping you’d offer.” Leighton had a huge smile on her face.
That night Alicia found out that Leighton was in fact right, formal attire is so much fun to pull off a person. There was something to how the dress pools at Leighton’s feet that was so sexy. And the way that Leighton pulled off her suit sent shivers down her spine. She knew that it was going to be a long night and she was more than happy about it. She and Leighton had made their way back to each other and it was beautiful.