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Jack Zimmerman was one of Samwell’s best and brightest. As Captain of the Hockey Team, he lived in the Haus. There were several people who said that the house constantly needed to be changed, and that they were going to throw out the old couch (Bitty).
Where he was now, Jack could see the stars and feel the coolness of the roof tiles. He was also right above the kitchen, where said Bitty was making another one of his infamous pies. Pecan, if his nose was right. Jack thought about how he had met Bitty in the kitchen of the Haus. Bitty had a pie in his hands and was setting it down. At the time, Jack had thought Bitty was just a kid who had gotten lost. But when Bitty had lifted his head up, Jack felt like he had just seen the sun for the first time.
His minor acknowledgement of Bitty’s attractiveness was slowly getting worse. Even Shitty noticed, and in the privacy of Shitty’s room, he talked to Jack.
“What is up with you man?”
“Nothing is wrong.”
“Really? Because your behavior says otherwise.”
“Jack, even Bitty is a little bit concerned.”
Jack felt his ears turning red. Shitty noticed this, and a slow smile appeared on his face.
“Jack, you like Bitty don’t you?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”
Shitty pulled Jack into a rough bear hug. Jack patted his back.
“Now Mr. Zimmerman, let’s go get you a slice of Bitty’s pie.”
“Is that a euphemism?”
“Jack, I am ashamed. This is an innocent slice of pie. How dare you taint its aura with your sex dreams about Bitty.”
Jack snorted and let Shitty drag him into the kitchen. Bitty was in there, making his infamous apple pie. Bitty smiled at Jack, Jack smiled back, and listened to the sounds of Bitty puttering around his kitchen, while he ate pie. Shitty was trying to get Bitty to tell him the secrets of his pie appearing skills.
“Shitty, only my mother and I know the secrets of the Bittle family baking secret.”
Bitty was laying strips of dough across a peach pie he had just filled. Jack watched him wondering if he was even Bitty’s type. He could work with it if Bitty just showed a modicum of interest.
“Jack would you do me a favor and get the beer can behind you off the floor?” Bitty asked very casually from where he was mixing something in a bowl. Jack had to bend over to pick up the can. When he turned around after putting it in the trash can, Bitty had a very attractive pink blush on his face. Shitty was waggling his eyebrows. As was the Shitty way.
“Are you okay Eric?”
Bitty’s blush got pinker and he turned away from them both. Then it was Jack’s turn to check out the Bitty booty. Shitty rolled his eyes and asked Bitty in the most subtle of ways possessed by him,
“Hey Bitty are you single?”
Bittle’s mixing spoon clanged against the bowl. He whirled around and looked at Shitty.
“I am. You know that.”
“Just saying it for the guy in the room who is dense as cement.”
And then Shitty left the room complaining about the two of them. Bitty looked at Jack, the remnants of a blush still on his face. Jack wanted to kiss him.
“Uh Jack, do you know what he’s talking about?”
“He’s calling me dense as cement.”
“But why would you want to know if I’m…Oh!”
Jack bent down the littlest bit and kissed Bitty’s cheek.
“I like you, and want to take you on a date.”
If Jack thought that Bitty was cute when he blushed, then the sight now was a masterpiece.
“This isn’t a joke right?”
“No! Why would it be a joke? I genuinely think that you are one of the most attractive men I’ve ever met.”
Bittle stood up on his toes to kiss Jack on the mouth. Jack reciprocated, and they were kissing until they heard the click of a shutter on a camera going off. They let go of each other to see Lardo holding a huge professional camera.
“That one is going in the photo album kids.”
Ransom & Holster and Shitty were all holding tissues to their eyes pretending to cry. Chowder might have actually been crying. Bitty was pink-cheeked and “glaring” at Lardo.
“Can you two not have sex in here, that’d be great” Nursery said. Somehow not able to meet Bitty’s eyes.
“I can’t believe you think that I’d disgrace my kitchen like that.”
Shitty came into the kitchen and snatched a pie off of the counter, and stood back in the doorway.
“Continue.”
Bitty rolled his eyes and grabbed Jack’s hand to hold. Then Bitty pulled Jack with him up to his room. A couple of wolf whistles were heard, but the two of them didn’t hear the sounds.
“When do you want to go on that date?”
“Friday. 8 o’clock.”
“Deal.”
Then Jack and Bitty made out against the door of Bitty’s room. And they lived happily ever after. Or if not for ever after, at least for the night.