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Soldiers stood atop a hill, waiting. They were quiet, like the calm before the storm. The war had already raged on for days, yet there was no sign of it ceasing.
“Today’s battle will not be easy!” Tsukasa stood facing the currently empty battlefield, his cape billowing slightly in the wind. As he spoke, his voice was bright, although his expression was solemn, and his hand rested on the hilt of his sword.
Mizuki brushed a stray strand of their hair behind their ear, then scoffed. “Of course not. Fighting against them is never easy, especially when they bring out those dragons.”
They were holding the army flag at the moment, although who knew if they’d toss it down the second the battle started. In Mizuki’s words, “waving around a sword is much more fun than waving around a flag”.
“That’s what our training was for, wasn’t it?” Shiho stood behind both of them, her hands clasped behind her back. “No one ever expects a battle to be easy.”
“Haha…” Mizuki, a habitual slacker when it came to training drills, smiled grimly.
Their enemies stood on the horizon, their figures cloaked in shadow as they stood with their backs to the sun. Neither of the armies moved, but they couldn’t help but feel like the other side was watching their every move.
The sun had begun to rise a few hours prior, and now it blazed down on the earth below, illuminating the grassland with golden light. Above, the sky was a cloudless blue, letting the heat raze the ground. In the distance, a crow cawed, flapping its wings.
“We must win,” Tsukasa declared. “This battle will determine the fate of our kingdom’s lives! We must not let the enemy breach our forces!”
“Easy for you to say,” Akito, who had just arrived, tugged his horse to a stop. He looked down at the others before his eyes flickered up to the other side. “They didn’t bring out the dragons the last time we fought.”
“Well! Count it as a challenge, then.” Mizuki stretched, flipping the flag casually before stabbing the end into the ground. “We’ve already made it this far. We can’t back down now.”
“Akiyama is right,” Determination flashed in Shiho’s eyes. She took a deep breath, then said calmly, “We are soldiers, and it is our duty to serve the kingdom.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Akito sighed. “I never said I wasn’t going to give it my all.”
“Good!” Tsukasa’s voice boomed, and he straightened up a bit. “I’ll be counting on you guys!”
A moment later, they heard the sound of drums and horns, and they could no longer talk amongst themselves. Around them, soldiers rushed into battle, flowing toward the center like an overflowing river. There was the sound of people running, horses galloping, then finally, the sound of metal on metal as the first collision took place.
“I’m taking the vanguard,” Akito yelled as he spurred his horse onward, Mizuki yelling something back that he didn’t quite hear. He dug his heels into his horse’s side, urging for it to go faster. The wind whistled in his ears as he leaned forward, shooting toward the center like an arrow.
Upon facing his first opponent, Akito drew his sword, the metal glinting in the cold light. He took a breath, then met their attack head-on, the collision causing a grating sound that made him wince. Fighting atop a horse was never easy; it was a combination of timing, luck, and power. One move could kill the opposing soldier, or send him flying off of his horse.
Though, he was confident that he could take down some of the enemy forces before he got injured. He wasn’t named one of the best knights in his kingdom just to be someone that could be easily beaten. Akito swept a glance over the battlefield as he drew his sword out of his opponent’s chest, indifferently watching them fall off their horse. There were countless enemies, but it seemed that the ones at the front weren’t too strong. Perhaps it was a diversion of some sorts, but he didn’t have the time to think about that.
He led his horse to the side, then hopped off, deciding it was better if his horse didn’t get hurt. He could take on cavalry units on his own. He patted the white horse, signaling for it to return to the back, where Mizuki would be at the moment.
His horse turned to look at him, then, as if it had understood him, trotted away, leaving him alone in the face of the enemy ranks. It didn’t take long for them to swarm around him, and he emptied his mind as he fought them, solely going through the movements of blocking their attacks before countering with his own.
Fighting was never something Akito had to particularly think hard about; everyone had called him a natural. His quick reflexes combined with his athletic nature made for a good fighter, and he was easily able to beat some of the upper-ranked soldiers when he first joined the army.
The only thing that kept him grounded was the constant collision of metal, the grating sound harsh on his ears. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his breathing growing heavy as he steadied his hand, holding his sword upright to face the next enemy.
It was only a long time later that he was able to catch his breath, the last enemy falling before him. By this point, his armor and face had been stained with blood. Some of it was his, but most of it wasn’t, though that didn’t really matter as the red liquid dripped onto the grass. He stumbled a short distance away from the battlefield, just out of reach of some of the enemy soldiers. The moment he relaxed, his knees felt weak, and he stabbed his sword into the ground before he kneeled down.
He couldn’t rest long; there were more enemies coming. Akito forcibly took deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down and steel himself for the next opponent. However, before he could mentally prepare himself, he heard—
“Akito.”
The sound of his name being called made his head snap up, his eyes wide. He hadn’t heard that familiar voice in years — not since he had gone missing. It was a voice he had thought he’d never hear again, one that was lost to his memories.
But in front of him stood the person he once called his partner and best friend — Aoyagi Toya.
He was no longer donning the pristine white cloth that he and the other knights wore. No, his clothes were an inky black, accented with deep blues and gold. There were no patterns like the swirls that adorned Akito’s clothes, just simple, but extremely recognizable, hems. It was unmistakably the uniform of the Dragon Army, the very army that Akito was fighting against.
For a moment, they were still, one kneeling and one standing, and it was as if all of the sounds on the battlefield had faded away. Neither of them said anything, the wind causing their capes and the grass beneath them to sway slightly. They didn’t break eye contact either, and the pain, fear, surprise, and anger flashed clearly in Akito’s eyes.
After the moment of shock passed, Akito gritted his teeth, yanking out his sword and shattering the still illusion. “You really have the nerve to stand in front of me and say my name like that?” Akito narrowed his gaze. “After all this time?”
He hated that Toya’s voice was the exact same as it was when he left. The same soft and gentle voice that he used to call out to Akito with, when they’d meet after eating dinner and spend time together wandering around in the gardens or chatting under the moonlight. He hated that that voice made him want to forget the pain he had endured in the past few years.
The day Toya had disappeared, Akito had gone on an extensive search for him, barely taking the time to rest or eat. Day after day, he’d leave the barracks as soon as the sun came out, riding on his white horse into the depths of the kingdom. Many times, he wouldn’t return until after the sun set, the light dim in his eyes as he dismounted his horse and let it rest for the night. Ultimately, Tsukasa and Shiho had to physically restrain him and keep him in the castle, as they were afraid that he’d kill himself just trying to look for his best friend. He had gone days without eating or resting properly, and it was particularly obvious the moment he laid down on the bed, passing out due to starvation and exhaustion.
They couldn’t find any trace of him. It was as if he had disappeared without a trace, as if he had never existed in the first place. Others presumed that he was dead, thinking that there was no way a person could just vanish into thin air like that. Something must’ve had to happen to him, and since he had gone so long without coming back, it was likely that he had long passed on. But Akito stubbornly didn’t believe it, continuing to look for clues for where Toya could be. Over time, people completely stopped trying to convince Aktio, deciding that it was better to just not mention Toya’s name around him at all.
“I looked for you for days,” Akito’s throat was dry as he spat out his words. “I nearly killed myself looking for you. The others even thought you died, but even then, I kept looking. Yet the whole time, you were perfectly fine? Did I spend all those days for nothing?”
Toya said nothing as he watched Akito lift his sword to point it at his neck. The blade was held steadily, the metal barely touching Toya’s skin. If his hand had just shaken a little, a line of blood would’ve been drawn, and if he had swung his arm, Toya would’ve died in an instant. Yet even then, Toya stood still, as if he trusted Akito not to let that blade harm him.
“You left me without even saying a word. Even if you wanted to betray us, couldn’t you have at least told me?”
At that point, Akito’s voice was starting to crack. “What am I to you? What were we, to you? Was I just another person you could throw aside? Were all those years we spent together all for nothing?”
In the face of his shouting, Toya stayed silent. His silver eyes betrayed no emotion, and it was almost like they had returned to the first time when they had met, when Akito was completely unable to read the person who stood in front of him. He was… unfamiliar.
“Answer me!” Akito finally pulled back, yelling as he swung his sword, Toya pulling his sword smoothly out of its sheath, easily blocking it.
When it came to fighting, the two of them were scarily in sync. It was as if they were back in the castle, sparring against each other on the training grounds. Some of the other soldiers who watched them even commented that it looked more like a dance with blades rather than a fight, because of how clean each move and dodge was. It always started with Akito’s attack, which would be countered by Toya’s first move.
Then, Toya would do a broad swing, which Akito would dodge by taking a step back and one to the side. Toya would leave his side open, and Akito would take that opportunity, only for him to find out that Toya had baited him. He’d recover by flipping his wrist and blocking the hit from behind. It was all the same—
And yet it wasn’t. They were no longer the young boys holding dulled blades, but instead soldiers that held swords that could kill with one hit. Toya had changed over the years as well. His silver eyes were sharper, and had an air of coldness that Akito had never seen around him. His hair, still the two-toned shades of blue, was no longer neatly split down the middle, instead slightly tousled, the darker strands covering some of the lighter ones. His movements had become more precise too, Akito barely being able to dodge a swing that came from his blind side.
“Why won’t you say anything?” Akito roughly thrust his arm forward, then pulled his arm back as Toya turned to the side to evade the attack. Frustration laced his voice as his sword met the air.
Toya’s gaze met his for a moment, but he stayed silent. Then, he swung his blade, forcing Akito to leap backward. Unlike Akito, who was heaving as the hatred flashed in his eyes, Toya looked as if he had just stepped onto the field, his breathing steady and his eyes unreadable.
“You betrayed us,” Akito spat as he landed. “You betrayed me . I worried about you for all those years for nothing, huh? I was hoping you’d return someday, but I didn’t mean it like this!”
A dragon roared in the distance, but Akito paid it no mind as he charged forward again, his sword clashing with Toya’s. “You said we were going to become the best, together. Did that mean nothing to you?”
He heard Toya inhale sharply before he pushed Akito away, his hand lingering in the air for a moment. “You’re still hiding, after all this time?” Akito tightened his grip on his sword.
Toya had never been one to face confrontation. Countless times, Akito had to shove Toya against a wall just for the other to say what had been on his mind, what he had been hiding for so long. Toya had never liked those moments; he had always turned his head to the side, afraid to face Akito as the other yelled at him. The truth was always hard to say.
Once again, Akito stepped forward, directly attempting to land a hit on Toya. It wasn’t only Toya who had changed; he had as well. As their fight went on, their movements started to become more unpredictable, less practiced. The two of them sparred for a long while before Akito’s sword finally grazed the side of Toya’s leg, leaving a cut along the side of his thigh.
Toya winced slightly, and Akito took the moment to knock him off-balance, ramming into Toya’s side with his shoulder. Toya stumbled backward and landed on his arms, getting the wind knocked out of him. Unhesitatingly, Akito closed the distance, kneeling over Toya’s body. He raised his sword, the sharp edge in front of Toya’s eyes. His breathing was heavy, the rise and fall of his chest apparent as he held the sword above his head.
Then, before Toya could move, he slammed the blade down. Toya turned his head to the side, not wanting to see Akito’s face as the blood splattered, but what he saw was the sword stabbing through the fabric of the cape that rested on his shoulder. One of Akito’s hands rested against the hilt of his sword as the other one dropped to his side, some of his neatly-combed hair falling in front of his eyes.
“I hate you,” Akito’s voice was quiet now, albeit slightly shaky. It was filled with frustration, and Toya could see the other trembling above him. “Why did you come back?”
Countless questions raced through his head. Why did you leave? Why did you have to betray us? Why, why, why?!
Akito reached out with his free hand to grab Toya’s uniform, lifting his upper body up. Toya’s head tilted back limply as Akito’s hand tightened in the fabric. “Why won’t you answer me?!”
“... I’m sorry,” Toya whispered.
There was much more he wanted to say, but he didn’t know how. Ultimately, all he could muster was the most pathetic of sentences.
“Is that all you have to say?!” Akito blinked back the tears that were in his eyes, gritting his teeth. “You leave me for seven years, and all you have to say is ‘sorry’?!”
He roughly let go of the uniform, letting Toya fall heavily onto the ground. Pain and anger flickered in his eyes, bright under the now-setting sun. The shadows from his hair cast over his face, and Toya’s arm twitched by his side. If it were before, he would’ve reached out to brush the stray strands aside. But everything was different now—
“I hate you.” Akito repeated, the tears starting to slide down his cheeks. He didn’t reach up to dry them, letting them patter pitifully onto Toya’s dark uniform.
“I hate me, too, for loving you. I-”
Before he could say anything more, his eyes widened, and he choked. Toya’s breath hitched as he noticed the sharp spear edge that stuck out from Akito’s midsection, and he flinched as he heard the sound of the blade being pulled back out.
Neither of them reacted until a large amount of blood splattered onto Toya’s uniform, and Akito suddenly jolted, his hand slipping from the sword. “Akito!” Toya’s voice was suddenly filled with panic, the indifferent facade instantly shattering. He scrambled to sit up, catching the other knight as he fell. The light blue rose earring pinned to Akito’s ear glinted in the light.
“Toya…” Akito murmured, laughing hollowly Toya pressed him toward his chest. In the end, you…
“Toya-sama, why are you still dawdling with this human knight?” One of the Dragon Army’s soldiers, sitting atop a low-flying dragon, asked.
He chose not to respond as he tightened his grip on Akito. “Why did you attack him?” He asked instead, glaring at the soldier. His voice was slightly wavering, though it wasn’t clear whether it was out of fear or anger.
“Because he seemed to be a threat to you.” The soldier responded simply. “You cannot die in this battle; you should deal with all the enemies you come across as quickly as possible. We must take over the human kingdom and- Toya-sama?”
While the soldier was speaking, Toya had disappeared.
The sound of wind whistling in his ears and the feeling of weightlessness made Akito open his eyes. He looked up to see the side of Toya’s face, then saw the battlefield growing smaller out of the corner of his eyes.
“Aren’t you afraid of heights?” Akito asked, laughing dully. He could still remember the time Toya’s legs shook as he got stuck in a tree after stubbornly insisting to save a stray cat that was hiding up there. Perhaps he had gotten over it after joining the dragons. He didn’t know. Right… he barely even knew who Toya was now.
Toya carried him through the sky, searching for the humans’ medic area, completely oblivious to Akito’s thoughts. “Don’t talk,” he hushed him, seeing the blood that was sliding down his arms. It left a ribbon of red rain in the sky, falling down to the ground below.
“It’s fine,” Akito waved his hand feebly. “I won’t make it, anyway…”
He had lost too much blood already. He could feel his consciousness slipping, as well as his life. But for some reason, death didn’t seem as scary as he had once thought that it’d be. Maybe it was because his greatest wish had come true, even if it wasn’t the way he wanted it to be.
Maybe it was because even after everything, he still subconsciously wished to be by Toya’s side.
“But-”
“Now you’re so talkative?” Akito’s voice was quiet; it was the same tone that he had when he was sleepy, a tone that Toya loved to listen to. The only difference was that now, Akito was struggling to breathe, his voice unsteady. “Listen. If we ever meet again, in some other universe, or some other lifetime, I’ll properly set you straight. And you’ll listen to me then, got it? No more running away.”
“... Okay.” Toya’s voice was shaky. Anything that Akito asked for at that moment, Toya knew that he would agree to it instantly. Even if—
“Good. Then I’ll be waiting for you there. Don’t… make me wait too long this time, alright?”
A moment later, Akito’s eyes slid shut, his head tilting to the side. Toya wasn’t stupid enough to not realize that Akito wasn’t going to open them ever again. His heart clenched, and he brought Akito’s body closer to his own before he felt something bubbling up in his throat.
He let out his voice, an inhuman screech ripping from his vocal cords. He screamed over and over again, gasping each time as he ran out of breath. But no matter how many times he screamed, Akito would never return.
I’m sorry, Toya thought as he held Akito in his arms, crashing into the ground as he dropped out of the air. The impact was nothing to the pain that gripped his heart. I’m sorry, I’m sorry—
-
“Fine, then, leave!” Akito’s voice was unforgiving, his fist still stinging from the impact. A flash of betrayal showed in his eyes, and he turned away. “And never show your face around here again!”
He didn’t wait for Toya’s response before stalking off, leaving the other boy alone on the stairs. Silence was restored in the alleyway, and Toya stood there, stunned. Only a long while later did Toya mindlessly touch his cheek. As he did, he suddenly felt a strong surge of pain crash into him, and he stumbled on the steps, catching himself on the handrail.
What… was that? He thought to himself as he cleared his head. It didn’t feel like the pain of touching a bruise; it felt more like his heart being squeezed until it was about to burst. But after that moment, that feeling didn’t come back again, and he could only take the steps up back onto the street so that he could go home.
He walked all the way back without thinking about much; it was like his feet had moved without his brain telling them to do so. The entire journey was just a flash of color, and he couldn’t remember anything that had happened. By the time he realized that, he was standing by his bed in his room, where he caught sight of a fantasy novel laying on the covers. It was a book that he had picked up at school, intrigued by the cover.
The summary was interesting, and he hadn’t read anything like it before, so he had decided to give it a try. After setting down his bag by the piano and taking off his slippers, he sat down cross-legged on the bed, opening the book up to where he had left off.
Before going to bed the night before, he had reached the climax of the story — the main character was meeting his final enemy. He flipped the pages as he read, trying to imagine the scenes as the words crossed his eyes.
The chapter opened with a grand scene, the main character going with his comrades out to the battlefield. The knights’ commander gave a grand speech to boost the knights’ morale, promising that they had to safeguard the kingdom that they called home.
After the horn of battle sounded, the main character rushed to the front lines, fully prepared to take down every enemy that he met. He fought very bravely, barely injured as he slayed every soldier that rushed at him. But, the final enemy turned out to be the main character’s best friend—
Toya suddenly felt that sharp sting to the back of his head again. He winced, dropping his book into his lap as he pressed his fingers to the base of his scalp. There wasn’t any pain, but the throbbing still lingered. He frowned, deciding to return his attention to his book after the pain faded.
As his eyes scanned the text on the page, it suddenly felt as if he was reading a memory from a different perspective.
He thought, no, he remembered what it was like at that moment.
When he had stepped onto the battlefield and had seen the orange hair that reminded him of the setting sun, he could only feel relief. Relief that Akito was still alive, that he was alive and well.
He didn’t know what he could say to him. I’m sorry, was the only thought that came to mind. He couldn’t tell Akito about the pact, or else he’d die, or worse, Akito would die. There was so much he wanted to tell Akito, yet every time he opened his mouth, the words died in his throat.
Akito yelled at him as the two of them fought, and Toya could only think that he deserved it. After all, he really had left without a word. As much as he wanted to leave something behind for Akito to tell him not to worry, there was no time.
He had been cornered by dark mages then, and was forced to make a decision on the spot. He’d either lose Akito right where he was standing, or he’d lose the life that he had been living in the castle. It was obvious which one he had chosen.
Because even if it meant giving up his life, he’d do it for Akito.
For those years, he, too, had worried for Akito’s well-being. He knew that Akito would probably go to the ends of the earth just to find him (he knew, because he would do the same). But there was no way he could contact the human kingdom, and he was constantly locked in the castle, barely seeing the light of day. He could only hope that Akito was doing well without him.
It was evident from Akito’s words that he hadn’t been doing well; not only did he look more mature when they met again, he also looked more haggard. Toya felt the guilt churning in his stomach as Akito relentlessly attacked him over and over again. It was all because of him that Akito was like this now, that he had lost that childlike spark in his eyes.
The moment he saw Akito’s blade above his head, he had resigned himself to his fate. If he were to be killed by Akito, his best friend and partner, then so be it. He was willing to die by Akito’s hand.
But nothing could compare to the way his heart stopped when he saw the blade that pierced through Akito’s stomach. He was powerless to do anything about the blood that rushed out, the panic settling into his bones.
As Akito slumped forward into his grasp, he spotted the earring that he had given to Akito long ago. Akito still wore it, even after all that time… Toya couldn’t help but choke back tears. He could only watch as Akito died in his arms, the anger and grief bursting out all at once.
It wasn’t until his fingers touched the last pages of the book that he realized how short of breath he was. His chest was rising and falling at a much faster pace than it should’ve been — was it because of those memories?
Those memories were so fresh in his mind, it felt like it had just happened yesterday. Obviously it hadn’t, as dragons and knights like those didn’t exist in their world, but still… Toya frowned as he recalled Akito dying in his arms, and the words he had said.
Akito… He thought to himself, reading over the final page.
Had Akito in that life died thinking that Toya had truly betrayed him? He had never gotten a chance to repent, and he had never been able to tell Akito the truth. Toya clenched his fists, staring down at the book. Telling Akito the truth, huh…
It was quite ironic, how similar he was in that life to how he was now. There was quite the possibility that their paths would diverge once again, now that Toya had cut Akito off. Akito wouldn’t have to know his true thoughts. Toya could spare him that burden—
But then what? The memories of that past life made his thoughts stop in their tracks. Was he going to just let Akito go like that, when he had finally found him again?
-
“So? This is the book you were talking about?” Akito asked, turning over the fantasy book in his hands, not particularly interested in it.
They sat on the bed in Akito’s room, the afternoon sun streaming through the closed window. They didn’t have practice that day, as Kohane had to help out with something after school and An had been called to help out at the cafe. The two of them had gone to the arcade for a short while before heading to Akito’s house to drop off a plushie or two for Ena.
“Mm,” Toya hummed. His arms were wrapped around Akito’s waist, his head resting against the other’s shoulder.
Not long after their argument, Akito had caught him in Weekend Garage, yelling at him in the cafe. It almost reminded him of the days when they lived in the castle; Akito’s eyes had that same frustration flickering in them. This time, Toya listened to every word, ultimately giving in.
“Jeez, what’s gotten into you?” Akito patted Toya’s hair, ruffling it slightly. The latter had become significantly more clingy after they made up, and Akito wasn’t too sure why. Toya had never quite elaborated on it either, but Akito didn’t mind.
“I’d read it, since it seems like it’s something you like a lot, but you know me,” Akito laughed, setting the book onto his table. “I’d probably fall asleep after a few pages.”
“That’s okay,” Toya murmured, tilting his head to brush his lips against Akito’s left earlobe, where the rose earring had been in his past life. “I just wanted to let you know.”
“I see,” Akito smiled, leaning back into Toya’s embrace. “Well, if you ever want to tell me about it, I’ll listen.”
“I’ll tell you about it someday, I promise.”
“You don’t have to promise me,” Akito sounded confused.
“I want to,” Toya responded. To make up for all of those promises that I couldn’t keep.
“Alright, alright.” Akito turned around to pull Toya in for a proper hug. “We have a lot of time, so you can just tell me whenever, okay?”
This time, I’ll always stay by your side. Toya closed his eyes, thinking to himself. “Okay.”