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Two sleep deprived hedgehogs— one pink and the other onyx toned with red highlights, were fast asleep during the hour where the moon was the only source of light along with the charismatic glow from the stars.
The couple had been entwined with each other as they both tried to get as much shut eye as they could before the sun had risen back up, signaling that a new day had started.
The same routine nearly every weekday. Wake up, go to work, come home exhausted, cuddle with a partner and sleep. Shadow had already been bored with this routine for awhile now and as for Amy? She was also getting annoyed with this ‘never ending’ cycle.
The roseate hedgehog had been working at a well-known bakery in town for quite some time and the ebony male still worked for G.U.N till this day.
Both hedgehogs had to get by with their lives, given that Shadow’s salary provided more than enough money. Ever since they started dating, they both agreed on sharing a house together which worked out perfectly.
Shadow had felt some sort of connection he hasn’t felt with anyone else besides Maria and Rouge, with Amy. In fact it was probably a little more than what he felt with his old friend and mission associate/best friend.
He hasn’t felt this way in ages. The way Amy understood him like no one ever had is what made him intrigued in her. She was always so kind hearted and charming and he loved that about her.
When he confessed his unknown feelings to the pink female, she explained to him;
“This is what love feels like Shadow”
And now here they were.
It was around 2:47 in the morning when Shadow woke up in frantic cold sweat. The same nightmares that kept haunting him for the past four days. The black male was very panicky and distressed. He couldn’t stop shaking. His breathing pace wasn’t normal either.
God, the last thing he’d want right now is to wake up his lovely girlfriend who needed her rest. Shadow couldn’t cease his trembling. He remembered what this was. Amy had explained to him what a panic or anxiety attack was and this was exactly how she described it.
Sweaty hands, feeling like there’s not enough air to breath, the palpitation and of course, nausea. How does one stop these from happening?
Shadow glanced at his lover, debating whether he should wake her up or not. He didn’t want to because he’d feel like a burden for disturbing her when his issue clearly wasn’t her problem to deal with.
He did promise Rose that he’d tell her when he’s not feeling alright. But she was asleep…
Shadow’s breathing started to quicken more and more by the minute. The whole room was spinning. He felt like he was going to faint right there. He felt tears start to accumulate in his eyes but not enough to roll down his raw umber hued muzzle. Oh chaos, please end this feeling.
“Shadow?”
Her voice—Amy’s voice somehow stopped the swirling room.
“Shadow! What’s going on, are you alright?” The pink female asserted in worry.
Shadow was usually non verbal when he was in this state so, the trick to calm him down and go back to normal was usually to put some lavender essential oil near him. Amy knew how to help him and how the scent would relax his mind, that’s what made her special.
She opened her night table drawer and pulled out a pocket sized bottle half-full of oil that contained lavender scent. Rose put some on her hand and slowly waved it near her lover's nose in hopes it would help.
Lavender always did the trick. Shadow managed to calm his nerves down but was still jittery and anxious.
“Shadow hun, can you tell me five things you can see?” She spoke. This was the method she had taught her boyfriend when he was in situations like this.
“The—the dresser, you, window, the door, your hand..” he replied, still slightly nervous.
“Good job. Now can you name me four things you can touch right now?”
“The bed covers, my…fur, your hand, my inhibitor rings.” The dark male spoke.
“You’re doing great, Shadow. Can you say 3 things you hear?” Amy continued with the calming method. It always worked on him.
“The ringing in my ears, your breathing and my breathing.” Shadow continued as his breathing started to go back to a normal pace.
“Good good, we’re almost done. Two things you can smell.”
“Lavender and your hair”
“Great! Last one, something you can taste right now?” Amy finished.
“Coffee beans.”
Amy opened her arms to give Shadow a comforting hug which he gladly accepted. He really needed it.
“I’m gonna go get you a glass of water, when I come back i’d like to know what’s troubling you if you’re comfortable sharing.” Amy said as she stood up from their shared bed and walked out of their room.
Once she came back, she handed the glass of water to her partner. Rose had studied psychology in the past so she knew that whenever people tend to have anxiety, their mouths get dry.
“Shadow, if you don’t mind telling me, what are these dreams or should I say—nightmares that keep causing you to wake up like this? I’m starting to get really worried for you.
Uh oh. The last thing Shadow wanted was to stress Amy with his problems.
“Rose—it’s not important. Let’s just go back to bed.” He dismissed.
“No, Shadow it’s very important to me, remember we said we wouldn’t hide stuff from each other? I want to help you, Shadow..” Amy pleaded. She wouldn’t cross his boundaries though. If he didn’t want to share then it was his decision.
Shadow sighed. “Look Rose, it’s really not important, it's just these silly dreams from back at the ARK and stuff with Maria..”
“What do you mean?” She tried getting more answers without trying to push him or aggravate him even more.
…
“Every time I have these dreams—it always starts the same way. I am in the ARK running with Maria and she gets shot but before she pulls the lever, I always get one final glance at her face before falling down to earth in that damn test tube. But in my dream, her face looked..terrifying. She did not look normal and when I’m about to get sent down she would yell ‘This is all your fault Shadow.’ and then I would fall to earth.”
He continued explaining.
“But once I'm down there all I can see is her face. It did not look normal at all and it was everywhere. It was the only thing I could see and—that version of Maria would continue saying it was my fault and how I could've prevented all of this. The voices would get louder and louder and then I would finally wake up.”
“Oh Shadow…” Amy felt really bad. She put Shadow’s hand on his shoulder which caused him to flinch.
“I want you to know that it’s not your fault Shadow. You didn’t ask to be created but even though you were, you aren’t the reason for her death. That soldier shouldn’t have shot her. I’m sure she would’ve loved earth. I want you to know that you have a reason to be here and you are worth so much love. I care about you so much, Shadow. Many of us do even if you haven’t realized it yet.” Rose preached.
“Maria would’ve loved to meet you Rose. You remind me so much of her with your kind soul. Chaos. I certainly do not deserve you..” He smiled lightly.
Amy put both her hands on Shadow’s cheeks and made their faces look at eachother.
“Listen to me Shadow. You are strong, you are sweet, you are loving and you are most definitely perfect. Please—don’t talk like that. You deserve me so much. I love and appreciate you more than anything Shadow. Please remember that. You are amazing.”
Shadow started tearing up a bit. He loved this woman with all his heart.
“I know I'm not the best at expressing my love for you but Rose, I am extremely grateful to be with you in this relationship. I adore you more than words can ever describe. Thank you for everything Rose. I really mean it.” Shadow said as he hugged the pink hedgehog tightly.
“I love you so much Shadow—you don’t understand.”
♡