Chapter Text
Valerie was having a Shit Day. This would not be out of the ordinary for her, as her life mainly consisted of Shit Days, which she lovingly referred to as Shit Periods, interrupted once in a while by Slightly Less Shit Days, and, on extremely rare occasions, Kind of Okay Days. What was out of the ordinary was that she was having a Shit Day in London.
Standing outside the Reptile House of a lovely small zoo in Surrey, southeast England, Valerie's hands itched to draw the knife sheathed on her thigh and carve a giant phallus on the beige walls just to have something to do.
Because waiting in the scorching sun in her all-black outfit, listening to the screaming match between her brother and his ex over the comms device in her ears, and watching stupid little schoolchildren running around all happily was not the kind of torture she was expecting of this Friday morning.
"Can y'all please shut the ever-loving fuck up and make up your minds—" Valerie hissed, not really caring if the people around her thought she was weird for talking to herself, although she wasn't.
Sterling, her older brother, a high-functioning alcoholic and insanely self-centred idiot, couldn't seem to do that.
"Val, shut up— Lana, I know it's hard—"
"Said your—"
"Hey!" Valerie grumbled. One more mention of their mother and she was going to let out her breakfast from the wrong end.
"To accept that I'm the leading agent," Sterling went on, "But try, because I am, and I give the orders, and I, uh, order you to accept it."
"Speaking of—" Valerie tried once again, glaring beneath her sunglasses at a passing man that side-eyed her. Although she couldn't really blame him, because she'd been standing there for a while now while Lana and Sterling fought like cats and dogs over who was the leading agent on their mission, and consequently, whose orders Valerie should follow.
Five minutes into their pissing contest, and Valerie had done fuck all.
Which was fine with her, because she never wanted to come to this stupid mission in the first place, but she would much rather stand around like an idiot doing nothing in a more private place.
"Shut up, Val!" Sterling dismissed her again in that flippant way that pissed her off to no end.
"Don't talk to her like that, she's more useful than you ever were!" Lana spat back at him, and while Valerie appreciated the recognition, her tinnitus was starting to act up and her clothes were sticking uncomfortably to her skin, so she did what she had wanted to do since the moment she stepped foot in the zoo.
"Thanks, and also it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up, but—" Valerie took out the small earpiece and began walking toward the Reptile House's doors, breathing a sigh of relief as the cool, air-conditioned breeze chased out the heat of the morning sun.
She pocketed the earpiece with a small smile and raised her sunglasses to rest at the top of her black hair. It was so much easier to think without Sterling and Lana arguing over all the times they cheated on each other, or over who was the better agent (neither of them, but especially not Sterling) or over who got to drive them around on missions.
The Reptile House was impressive for a middle-of-nowhere town like Surrey. Valerie could see why the politician they were sent to assassinate would want to visit it with his family while they were vacation-travelling. Yeah, spycraft was a grim line of work.
Thankfully there were fewer people inside, most of them glued to one display or another, so Valerie had the freedom to take it all in stride. Until she took in stride the unfortunate boy that was just as distracted as her to notice their collision course, and soon they were both on the floor, groaning and blinking blearily at each other.
That boy was Harry Potter, who was also having a Shit Day. This would not be out of the ordinary for him, as his life mainly consisted of Shit Days, which he lovingly referred to as Shit Periods, interrupted once in a while by Slightly Less Shit Days, and, on extremely rare occasions, Kind of Okay Days. What was out of the ordinary was that he was having a Shit Day in the zoo.
The Dursleys were always a pain in his taint, but on Dudley's birthday, they became the most unhinged versions of themselves. Harry was used to their nonsense by now, and actually preferred it to their darker, meaner sides, which often left him injured, starved, sleep deprived, or a worse combination.
Uncle Vernon banged his fist on the window of a snake enclosure, at Dudley's whiny demand of course, and when the spoiled brat did the same and screamed at the snake to move, Harry had to shout that he was asleep. Then the Dursleys moved away, leaving Harry with a few precious moments of peace as he gazed at the impressive size and beautiful skin of the snake.
It was like he was looking at himself in that cage, lonely, quietly reserved, barely moving as though he was catatonic. A pathetic existence, inescapable for all the misery it caused his captors as well.
"Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day, watching people press their ugly faces in on you." He didn't know why or how, but Harry had always had an affinity with snakes and reptiles. It was the only reason he didn't protest in coming to the zoo in the first place, not that the Dursleys would have allowed him any say in the matter.
Surprisingly, the snake responded, lifting its head and winking at a wide-eyed Harry. It filled him with a strange feeling of accomplishment, which distracted him from the girl that ran straight into him.
Valerie and Harry moved away from each other's limbs on the floor, snapping into focus to assess the situation. Valerie responded first, jumping to her feet with a speed and grace that impressed Harry immensely.
"Sorry, sorry," she smiled a bit sheepishly. Harry recognised the American accent before he registered the outstretched hand in front of his face. He took it gratefully, scrambling to his feet. "I should've watched where I was going."
She seemed about his age, with pretty blue eyes and wavy black hair. Her clothes were all black and form-fitting, but what really grabbed Harry's attention was the sheath around her thigh with what looked like a dagger. He'd seen circus acts more inconspicuous than her.
"That's alright, I was distracted too," Harry answered, removing his hand from hers. Curiosity filled him to the brim, and it must have shown on his face because the girl smiled as though she was going to let him in on a great secret.
"I'm Valerie Archer," she introduced herself. "What's your name?"
He hesitated, and then said, "Harry Potter. How old are you, Valerie?"
"Ten. You?"
"Oh, we're the same, then," Harry blinked. "Uh, what's that on your leg?"
"This?" Valerie pointed to the sheath. "My dagger. I am— was, on a mission. I'm a spy," she grinned. Harry sucked in a sharp breath, although he didn't really believe her, the dagger seemed to dare him to disagree. "Were you talking to the snake just now, Harry?"
Harry's cheeks burned in embarrassment. No one had ever caught him before, and the last thing he was expecting from Valerie was to call him out on it. Seeing his hesitation, Valerie smirked wider as if he was doing exactly what she thought he would, as if she already had all the answers. Maybe she did.
"Come on, I shared my secret with you. I could get in a lot of trouble," she said softly, conspiratorially.
"I— Yes, I was talking to him. I guess I just felt bad for him," Harry tried. Not a lie, but not the complete truth, though he wasn't quite sure how a girl like Valerie would react if he told her he could actually talk to snakes. "He seems lonely."
Valerie hummed like she could read every thought inside his head. Harry sighed quietly in relief when she turned to look at the snake, and for a second he could have sworn that the smile on her face faltered. Harry looked at the snake as well, to find its slitted eyes moving curiously between him and Valerie.
"Yeah, I'd be lonely too if I was in his place," Valerie mused. "Can't imagine living in such a small room with nothing to do."
Harry suppressed a knowing hum, not wanting to give away his misfortune this soon, though he was sure that his oversized, mismatched clothes must have helped Valerie deduct that something was not right. Strangely enough, he rather liked the thought that she could see him, really see him and understand him. He'd gone so long being treated like he was almost invisible, some days he doubted he was ever there at all.
"Let's free him," Valerie grinned at Harry, and the boy gasped. "You feel bad for him, don't you? Come on, I'll slip into the back and open the door while you distract the security guards and act as my lookout."
"What— No! Valerie, that's crazy! He could be dangerous, and we'll get in trouble if we're caught," Harry hissed. From the corner of his eye, he could see the snake nodding at Valerie.
"So don't get caught," Valerie rolled her eyes flippantly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. To her, the supposed spy, it probably was.
"Wha— How am I even supposed to distract the guards?" Harry gaped, green eyes snapping left and right for what he thought would be an army of armed, uniformed men about to pounce on them.
Valerie laughed like he'd told her the joke of the century, pointing behind her. "You mean those idiots?"
Two fat, balding men stood leaning on one wall, their dark clothes bearing a 'SECURITY' crest and their arms bearing cups of tea and half-eaten pies. Harry blinked.
"Yeah," Valerie smirked as if she could read Harry's thoughts, reconsidering the plan and starting to really believe her. "Come oooon, Harry Potter, grow some balls, live a little, free a snake."
Ridiculous, this is so disturbingly, fantastically ridiculous, is what he wanted to say, but he was once again knocked sideways, careening toward the floor at an awkward angle. Harry shut his eyes, grimacing as he waited for the impact that was sure to land him on his bruised arm this time—
"Move, girl! Mommy, Daddy, come here! You won't believe what the snake is doing!"
Valerie's hand wrapped around his wrist and he was tugged forward with strength he didn't think ten-year-old girls could or should have. Harry fearfully blinked up at her to find her scowling at Dudley, who had his hands and face pressed to the glass. Harry came to his feet fully with Valerie's help and squeezed her hand just enough to get her attention.
When she turned her gaze to him, Harry was staring at the protective glass, wishing desperately that Dudley would fall straight into the cage. He felt it then—a stirring in his stomach, like butterflies that answered to a secretive breeze inside him. Instinctively, he leaned into that feeling, pulling it to the surface of his conscience.
Just like that, the glass vanished and Dudley was tipping into the enclosure with a scream, splashing into the small pool of water at the bottom. Valerie gasped delightedly, her eyes snapping to Harry and glinting with a mix of awe, understanding and mischief.
The snake wasted no time slithering out into the corridor, followed by Valerie's hysterical laughter. Harry couldn't contain himself from laughing with her as the snake landed in front of them, flicking his tongue at Harry.
"Thanksssss."
"Anytime," Harry answered, looking back at Valerie just in time to find the most conspiratorial smirk he'd ever seen on her lips.
"Sssshe'ssss pretty," the snake, impossibly, or possibly now, he had no idea, winked. "Sssssay thankssss to her too."
"Will do," Harry breathed with an excited smile.
She stared at the snake in satisfaction as it slithered through the corridor, hissing at the other visitors. Chaos erupted—people jumped on railings and ran screaming out the doors to get away from the polite menace on the floor, and Valerie chuckled to herself as she imagined Lana and Sterling losing their minds over this. She put a hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezed as he did before, and Harry found nothing but pride on her face.
"Now that's how you set a snake free, Harry," she said.
And just when she thought things could not possibly get any better or funnier, the rude kid that had pushed Harry over had gotten up, drenched and looking put-out. He moved to get out of the cage when his hands came into contact with the inside of the glass. He panicked immediately, sending Valerie into another fit of laughter as his parents ran over and started screaming for their precious son.
"You wanna get out of here?" Valerie asked. Harry turned to look at her, shock and awe and fear and hesitant joy on his little face.
"I- yes."
val is impressed and gives her phone to harry and says she'll call him. she does, and the next day she goes over to their house and sees where harry lives. they become friends and after a week val offers harry to move with her to an apartment in london. harry agrees and val goes to talk with the dursleys after they refuse harry and harry doesn't know what val said but the dursleys never spoke rudely to him again. over the summer val had her 11th bday and they celebrated by renting out a playground. val took harry to the beach, a museum, a concert and many cafes and restaurants, and they went shopping all the time. harry became more blunt and funny because of val and they grew closer like siblings.
val showers harry in luxury that he never knew before. harry slowly rediscovers his magic and trusts val with his secret, and they start practicing wand-less and nonverbal magic.
about a month after they met, val has to go on a mission with her brother. it ends up badly, and she comes home severely injured, and harry tries to heal her. val denies the help and says she can do it herself, and when she clutches her bleeding arm, the wound starts to heal by itself, and they discover that she has magic too.
they are both very happy and have a big party once val properly heals her wounds.