Chapter Text
When she really thought about it, it was always going to be inevitable that Lexa stood in the very same place that she used to fear so greatly when she was much younger. It was as if her life had looped into one big circle and she was being forced to relive the things that made her so uncomfortable that is almost pained her to think about it.
It was the place that Lexa would have countless nightmares about when she was younger; where she had been abandoned for weeks on end before her parents decided they would take her home again once the summer had come and gone. It was a place she never thought she would have to see again; she thought she would never have to relive the memories that were quickly flashing back through her mind so suddenly. It was dirty, it was rustic and it could be chaotic; a place that Lexa tried to avoid thinking about at all costs. She would try to erase any memories of what happened in that place but as she sat in the rental car; outside the place she had spent all of her summers as a kid, she could block out those memories no more. She had parked the car outside of Camp Jaha, the summer camp she had been sent to every year even up until her sophomore year of high school; she kind of got the picture that her parents enjoyed palming her off to someone else for a majority of her summer break.
She took the keys from the ignition; sighing loudly as she looked up at the giant welcome sign that was neatly tied between two large trees on the fringe of the camp grounds. She was an overly awkward child, her confidence in herself only coming to her as she grew and started college. She was studying to hopefully become a pediatrician, in her last year of medical school; which she should have already graduated from at that point but she had run into a few personal problems that had delayed her study and completion of her field of choice. Lexa had always been interested in the medical field, her father was a surgeon and her mother was a chiropractor so although it was her choice to take the long, hard road to becoming a medical professional; she was always going influenced by her parent’s persistent encouragement. It had taken her whole high school career to figure out what she wanted to do; she had always been interested in sports, playing on multiple school teams every year and she was pretty good at them so it didn’t surprise her when she once considered a career as a sports physical therapist. She was a natural swimmer, a decent soccer player and dabbled in a bit of field hockey as well but thankfully she was more than intelligent enough to over achieve in her studies to help her get as far as she had on her own merit.
Needless to say with the professions that her parents were in Lexa’s family was wealthy but she never saw a cent of it after she had left home; they wanted her to stay in Colorado but she always wanted to move to Los Angeles, choosing rather to follow her own path over the promise of complete financial stability. More times than not her stubbornness lead her into trouble and that was no exception; she wanted to create her own destiny, knowing that if she succeeded or failed she at least did it trying her hardest. College wasn’t cheap though nor was living in California, that was an obvious statement and although she managed to receive some funding thanks to her consistently high grades; it certainly wasn’t enough for her to only study so she worked multiple jobs at a time and put herself to use during the summers. She even went as far as becoming a qualified life guard at a local water park as soon as she moved just so she could get some steady summer work, figuring she had a better chance at being employed if she was at least properly qualified in something. She knew it would have been much easier if she had stayed in Colorado, she knew she wouldn’t have half the stress mounted on her as she did living in LA if she had just agreed with her parents to stay in her home state to complete her studies but Lexa was hard headed. She was a shy and timid child that had grown into a strong and independent young woman who was hell bent on making her own way through the world, wanting to prove to herself that she could manage a life on her own two feet.
In that moment she almost wondered how she had ended up back in front of her old Summer Camp, a place where her childhood nightmares were lived out to the point where she had to remind herself that the people she was so terrified of had long moved on. She hated Camp Jaha because all it would represent to her was the countless weeks she was bullied for being quieter or picked on because she was different to the other kids or because her parents might have been a little wealthier than theirs and she learnt all too well how relentless children could be. She found it difficult as a child to make friends; people seemed to be drawn to her as she grew older and she knew that had something to do with her admittedly decent looks but she liked to think she had developed her personality as she had gotten older also. She almost wondered how she had ended up there but she knew exactly why and she knew it was all her fault, having no one else to blame but herself for being in exact position she found herself.
Lexa was on the back foot, she plain and simply needed a higher paying, consistent job during the summer and although it didn’t pay as much as she would have liked; a camp counselor at Camp Jaha was a sure thing and a steady pay check for the time she was there. She also knew she would be saving money just by being there; seeing as all meals and accommodations were included within the job but also giving her an extension of the change of scenery she had so desperately needed. She hadn’t been back in Colorado where she had grown up for quite some time, her parents might have been there but she found no other reason to go back so she simply didn’t. It wasn’t that Lexa didn’t like the state where she grew up, it wasn’t as if she had anything against the people that lived there; she just always needed to find her own footing and needed to separate herself from who she was growing up as a child from who she was at that very moment.
Lexa ran a rough hand through her hair, sweeping it to one side; looking to her sleeping friend beside her who was snoring quietly and a small smile pulled at her lips as the other girl muttered scattered words in her slumber. Anya was her best friend; she was the person she told everything to and the person she knew she could always rely on no matter what. She had met Anya the day she moved out to California after securing a place to live in a small block of decent apartments, both girls clicking instantly as they bonded over many mutual likes and dislikes. She had somehow convinced Anya to come with her to Camp Jaha, her older friend was a struggling actress who hadn’t run into much luck over the past few months and Lexa knew she could get Anya a job so she took the opportunity to talk her into going along so she didn’t have to face the daunting prospect of being back there alone.
She knew she was the only one to blame for her issue with money at that current time. Although she was not being supported by her parents, she had worked hard enough to have a decent amount of savings behind her that she recently burnt after only having just returned from a year-long backpacking trip around Europe; the reason she was yet to graduate from medical school. She had gone to Europe on a whim, needing an instant change after going through an extremely messy break up with a woman named Costia; who had ripped her heart right from her chest while it was still beating. She needed a change of scene to get over the woman she thought she would spend the rest of her life with; they had been together ever since Lexa had moved to California after she graduated high school after being accepted into UCLA. She had decided to defer her study for a year; spending her time traveling and basically living by the skin of her teeth but she felt as if she had grown a significant amount from the experience even though it had drained her bank account completely.
She should have now graduated from medical school and she should have already started her almost minimum wage earning job as an intern at the UCLA children’s hospital, an internship that she had fought hard to obtain; knowing that she was going to work twice as hard as she had already been doing in order to earn that position once more. Lexa knew she had sacrificed a lot, she may have cost herself too much to recover from on her own but she couldn’t regret her time in Europe; it was what she needed at the time because she didn’t know if she could have survived without it. It wasn’t lost upon her though that she was now 25 years old; she was in her last year of medical school, having nothing to her name and having built her life around a woman who had just torn everything down in a single moment.
“Anya wake up” Lexa said looking towards her friend who had her mouth still agape as she slept, her arms resting limply in her lap “Anya”
“What?” She mumbled with her eyes still closed before waving the other girl off “I’m not going”
“Yes you are, we’re already here so you might as well wake up” Lexa said with a shake of her head, opening the car door as the fresh air hit her lungs “We are going to get this over with”
“Why did I agree to this?” Anya asked sleepily “I mean I don’t even like kids”
“Because we need money” Lexa answered simply, reaching over to shake her friend’s shoulder lightly “Until you actually get a good paying job, we both need the money”
“Okay” Anya groaned, cracking an eye to look at her surroundings before she opened them both widely “Oh god”
“What?” The younger girl looked around as if to try and follow her friend’s line of sight
“This is more rustic than I pictured” Anya admitted with a nod, visibly swallowing a lump in her throat as she realized just how far from civilization they were “…But I’m sure it’s nice”
“This is just the path down to the camp area” Lexa said with a grin as she stood from the car, stretching her arms high into the sky and letting the warm morning sun hit her face. Although she probably wouldn’t admit it, she did like actual camp grounds; she liked the familiarity about it but also just loved being outdoors. “Come on, get out so we can get our bags and go”
“You said you didn’t like this place” Anya said as she stood from the car slowly, groaning as she stretched her legs out
“I like the actual location; I just never liked the people here”
“There has to be someone you liked, you can’t have hated everyone” Anya responded with a cocked eyebrow “Someone had to be nice to you here”
“Lexa?” They both heard a voice speak from the path, their heads quickly turning and Lexa recognized the person whom it belonged to immediately
“Clarke” Lexa said with a confused expression, when she thought about it momentarily she figured she probably shouldn’t have been confused seeing as her family had inherited the camp many years ago but Lexa hadn’t really expected to see the younger girl “Hi”
“Hey” The blonde said with a wide smile, running a quick hand through her wavy hair “I haven’t seen you for a very long time”
“I know” Lexa said simply with a nod
“You must be Anya” Clarke turned to Lexa’s friend with a nod and a polite smile “Welcome to Camp Jaha”
“Thanks” Anya said with a slightly tilted head due to her own confusion as she looked between the pair
“Stay right here, I’ll go get someone else to help with your bags” Clarke nodded as her gaze lingered on Lexa momentarily before tucking her hands into her pockets tightly “I’ll take you to your cabin too and we’ll get you settled before orientation”
“Sure” Lexa responded, holding Clarke’s gaze and feeling as if she couldn’t look away for some reason until the other girl turned on her heel to walk away
Anya immediately approached Lexa, clasping her hand tightly on her friend’s shoulder and squeezing it lightly as her confused expression held on her face.
“Clarke?” Anya asked with a shake of her head “I’m guessing she’s the one person who was nice to you”
“I never had a problem with her” Lexa responded with a shake of her own head “And yes, she was always nice to me but she had to be. Her parents own the place and she always had to be on her best behavior”
“So if she was nice to you, why weren’t you friends?”
“I wasn’t friends with anyone here” Lexa shrugged quickly, brushing her friend’s hand from her shoulder quickly “She was nice but we weren’t friends, I kept my distance from everyone including her”
“So your reclusive habits started when you were young, makes sense” Anya said sarcastically with a smirk as she took a step away from her friend to move towards the car “Help me get my bags so we can get out of this parking lot
Clarke returned only minutes later with a young man called Finn who was about the same age as herself, the blonde being a year younger by memory so Lexa just assumed he was around the same age as them too. He helped with Anya’s bags, Lexa being too stubborn to receive help from anyone as they trekked down the rocky pathway into the heart of camp surrounded by an awkward silence. Clarke showed them where they would be staying; it was the cabin that happened to be just across from hers and would be taken to orientation after getting changed. Lexa changed much quicker than Anya, finding shorts and a shirt at the top of her bag knowing they would be provided with a camp shirt almost immediately and anything else but shorts would be impractical. She sat on the single stair that lead up to the cabin, her knees tucked to her chest as her arms encircled her legs whilst she took in her surroundings.
The camp was smaller than she remembered, it was still quite large but it was also the fact that Lexa was a bit younger the last time she came into Camp Jaha; noting that it would have been normal for things to look smaller for her at that moment. The trees seemed a little shorter, the cabins a little cozier and the seemingly endless paths were a little less intimidating; leading Lexa to believe that maybe she had spent many years building up the negative reputation of the place to the point where it was now only because she herself was just smaller back then. The brunette couldn’t help but wonder if her opinions of the camp could have been different if she hadn’t experienced so much bullying when she was younger; wishing she had learnt to stand up for herself a little earlier in life because maybe if she had, she could have actually enjoyed herself.
“You all ready to go?” She heard Clarke speak cautiously from a short distance away, clearly not wanting to startle her
Lexa’s eyes diverted from her surroundings to meet the blue eyes she was once almost familiar with. A small smile tugged at her lips as she saw Clarke standing in front of her in a baggy, extremely over-sized Camp Jaha shirt and her hands once again tucked deeply into the side pockets of her shorts.
“Just waiting on Anya” Lexa answered quietly with a nod, her smile growing subtly as she spoke “Is that how the shirt is worn these days?”
“It’s more like a dress right now” Clarke grinned as she looked down at her shirt, removing her hand from her pocket to tug at her shirt awkwardly “We needed smaller sizes for other people so I was told to take a huge one and kind of just deal with it for now. Our orders for this year came in short so I just have to deal with this until the rest arrive”
“So you went from attending the camp to running it, huh?” The brunette questioned quietly as Clarke took a few steps towards Lexa, waiting a moment before taking a seat next to her on the stoop of the cabin
“I could say the exact same for you” Clarke responded with a shrug before pausing momentarily as she crinkled her eyebrows in a look that almost reflected disappointment “You kind of just disappeared one year”
“Well I stopped coming to camp, that’s all” Lexa replied evenly with a shrug of her own as she curiously looked at the blonde “I didn’t want to disappear but it kind of happens when you don’t attend the place anymore, I really didn’t think anyone would notice”
“I just mean that I was so used to having you here, it was weird when you weren’t. You were one of the only people I had grown up with here every summer” Clarke explained further as she leaned forward slightly “Our cabin’s soccer and swimming reputations definitely went downhill after you left, we certainly didn’t win as much”
“Not surprised” Lexa joked quietly and awkwardly, suddenly finding much interest in her shoelaces
“I don’t blame you for not coming back though” Clarke admitted with a nod, sympathy soaking her tone “I mean the kids here weren’t the nicest all the time”
“No they weren’t” Lexa agreed with a quiet sigh “But that’s kind of just kids for you sometimes”
“I guess so” Clarke responded, turning her body to face the brunette completely “But I always tried to talk to you”
“I know you did, you were always nice” Lexa responded as she glanced at the girl beside her and mentally chastising herself for instantly being taken aback by the blonde. She couldn’t help but notice how having the complete and utter attention of the other girl made her sit up straight or how she couldn’t think about anything past the conversation they were having at that moment because of that
“Okay, I’m ready to orientate” Anya announced sarcastically as she pushed the cabin door open roughly and paused “Oh”
“Ready?’ Clarke asked as she looked back towards the other girl who had just made a scene leaving the cabin, Lexa shutting her eyes for a moment as if feeling released from the sudden gravitation Clarke presented to her
“So ready” Anya responded with a polite smile and a nod before looking to her friend “I didn’t know you were talking with anyone sorry”
“Just catching up” Clarke explained as she stood slowly from the stoop, looking down to Lexa once more with a smile “Which we have a lot more to do of by the sounds of it”
“I guess you’re right” Lexa agreed as she watched the blonde carefully, standing herself from the step and turning to her friend who had a cocked eyebrow
Lexa subtly waved her off as Anya walked towards her, giving her younger friend a small nudge as they followed Clarke silently to the mess hall where they would have orientation for the morning. The brunette swallowed thickly as she looked around the mess hall after they had taken their seats, remembering all the time she had spent in that single hall throughout the years. The mess hall was filled with people of whom she had mostly never seen before but some she did recognize as camp counselors when she was there as a kid. Clarke took her seat at the front next to the boy who had helped them with their bags earlier, Lexa eyeing him curiously for longer than she had meant to; making a mental note to stop staring at everyone she had come across that morning. She fiddled with the name badge she had collected on the way in, feeling déjà vu all too clearly at the welcoming process into the camp.
She felt a nudge to her ribs and looked to Anya beside her whose grin had only grown, her eyebrow raised as she eyed her friend curiously.
“Is this why you wanted to come back?” Anya leaned further towards her friend, pushing her shoulder into Lexa’s quickly as she gestured to the blonde a few rows ahead “Clarke?”
“No” Lexa said with wide eyes and a quick shake of her head “Honest to god I had no idea she would be here let alone remember who I was and I haven’t seen her since my sophomore year”
“But you hung out with her while you were here, right?” Anya pushed lightly, her voice hushed under the loud sounds of chatter within the room
“Well I don’t know if you would call it hanging out but we were in the same activity groups every year” Lexa shrugged as she watched Abby Griffin take walk up to the small stage with a smile on her face as all conversation halted “We’ll talk later”
“Okay so I see we have a lot of new faces and some old faces too” Abby started with a grin, her hands clasped in front of her as she looked around the group in front of her “Welcome to Camp Jaha, named after my dear friend Thelonious Jaha’s family whom we took over this place from not too long ago. As some of you might know we’ll spend the next four days getting to know each other and the camp grounds themselves until the kids arrive over the weekend. For those of you who have never been here before; we’re really big here on trying to get the kids to participate in activities as much as possible so everyone feels a part of the Camp Jaha family. As we have discussed with you through the applications process; we’ll assign you a duty for the Summer based on your qualifications and preferences but we all help out here around camp. We have a definite idea of what we want everyone doing but we’re open to suggestions if you have any other ideas. We’ll be doing a few activities over the next few days as team building type exercises and if you have any questions along the way; just come see myself or my daughter who will be taking over the role of head counselor for the summer”
The pause in conversation lead to a small round of applause for Clarke who sat up the front with her hand over her eyes in embarrassment as Finn placed his hand on her shoulder gently as he laughed quietly. Lexa found her attentions focused on Clarke once more without her even noticing until she had been spotted by the blonde who had turned around to look around the room quickly. She averted her eyes almost instantly as Clarke met her gaze, ducking her head and focusing her attention on her laces once more. She glanced back over once she knew Clarke had looked away again, catching the remnants a smile on Clarke’s face as she turned to face the front again.
“So what we’re going to do in a minute is pair up with someone who has never been here before with someone who has been a counselor or staff member previously. For those of you who have never been here, you’ll be shown the grounds, taken through any processes we might have and that’s a great time to start asking questions if you have any” Abby said with a smile “All of us veterans have been assigned to our partners already so we’ll go ahead and start finding our partners and getting to know everyone”
The front few rows of experienced staff members stood, Lexa watched cautiously as Clarke began to slowly approach the brunette; as if not wanting to move quickly as if she were afraid of scaring her. She pushed herself further back into her plastic chair, feeling the weight of the blonde’s gaze on her and once again being unable to pull herself away from it. She noticed in her peripherals that Finn followed Clarke closely but looking to Anya with a small smile as the pair stopped in front of Lexa and her friend.
“Well believe it or not I happened to pick you earlier” Clarke said with an uneven smile as she shrugged quickly “Which I thought was pretty cool”
“And I got Anya” Finn said politely, flashing his charming smile
Lexa already knew that there was something going on between Clarke and Finn, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out and she already had that strange feeling of jealousy in the depths of her stomach that she didn’t understand whatsoever; hoping to bury it deep enough that it wouldn’t resurface until she knew why it was there. Lexa smiled politely as she stood from her chair to stand next to Clarke who was waiting patiently with a grin still playing on her face.
“So are we doing this as a pair thing or a group thing?” Anya asked looking from Finn to Clarke “Because I’m kind of confused”
“Pair” Clarke responded quickly before Finn could say a word “That’s kind of tradition but I’m sure we’ll bump into each other along the way”
“Well let’s go then” Lexa said with a nod, looking awkwardly between Anya who was once again eyeing her off and Clarke
“Good idea” Clarke said with a smile that made Lexa want to see more of it, swallowing thickly as she tried to figure out where all these thoughts were coming from suddenly
Lexa followed Clarke out onto the camp grounds soundlessly, glancing back to Anya who was watching her closely as they exited the mess hall. A lot of memories of camp, wanted or not came back to her as she began walking through the grounds silently. Lexa was nervous, which was highly unusual for her because generally she wasn’t a nervous person; she was old enough to be self confident to a point that got her by but everything about that camp made her feel as if she was back in her extremely awkward phase.
“So we’ll get you a shirt and then we can just walk around, nothing major has changed since you were here so we’re in no hurry” Clarke said with a small shrug before looking down to her own shirt “Don’t worry, you won’t get one that’s the same size mine”
“You’re pulling off the shirt dress thing you have going on there pretty well so I wouldn’t be too worried” Lexa joked anxiously, resisting every urge to slap her palm against her forehead for her lame reply “So head counselor, huh?”
“Yeah, believe me it wasn’t something that I aspired to be right now but mom needed someone to do it and after some convincing I took it; extra money and extra experience. Plus with the guilt trip she put on me, I don’t know if I really had a choice in the end” Clarke responded as they continued their slow walk, kicking a small rock from her path casually “So what brings you back to Camp Jaha anyway? Death threats, blackmail, witness protection? There's no way you're here by your own choice”
“Oh you don’t want to know specifics; it’s just a long and dramatic story”
“Why wouldn’t I want to know?” Clarke asked raising an eyebrow, nudging the other girl immediately “I mean they are the best kinds of stories and we have heaps of time”
“You don’t want to hear it” Lexa responded with a shake of her head “It’s probably just really sad on my part”
“What if I go first?” Clarke suggested encouragingly “I’ll tell you what I have been doing since I saw you last and then you can tell me your long dramatic story”
“Yeah okay” Lexa agreed with reluctance “I’m not completely sure how fair that is but I’ll agree”
“Well now that you’ve agreed, mine is a really easy one; I graduated high school, got into college in Texas where I started my degree in psychology. I’ve kind of wanted a change of scenery as of late though so I’m transferring to UCLA next semester for my second year of my masters because their program is better anyway and I’m just trying to get as much money as I can before I move out there after we finish here” Clarke explained as they arrived at a small familiar cabin, holding the door open for Lexa who reluctantly moved past the blonde to enter the room that was lined with different camp shirts “What, did you think I was leading you in here to kill you?”
“I’ve always hated this cabin” Lexa said with a shudder as she looked around the small room recalling the countless campfire stories told about that very room “You know the stories that were told about this cabin”
“They were all made up, Lexa” Clarke chuckled quietly to herself as she approached the table to pick out a shirt and hold it out patiently for Lexa to take “It’s not haunted and no one died in here, the senior kids were always just trying to freak us out but clearly it worked on you”
“Clearly it did” Lexa responded as her expression changed to a small, uneven smile; her eyes drifting to the table of different colored shirts that were stacked neatly “I don’t get a choice in what color I pick?”
“Nope, you’re picking the same color as me because these are being used to divide up the activity groups for the week and I’d like you on my team if that’s okay with you”
“Why?” Lexa asked curiously, looking down at the shirt in the blonde’s hand that she still patiently held out for her to take
“Well you’re my best chance at winning and beating Finn” Clarke joked as she took a step closer towards Lexa, the shirt now directly in front of the brunette’s hand as her expression changed to one of sincerity “And I want to get to know the new Lexa, I liked the old Lexa but I want the chance to get to know the new one too”
“No one here liked the old Lexa” The brunette shook her head with knitted eyebrows “I don’t even think I did”
“I liked her, she was always nice to me” Clarke responded instantly, the intensity in her gaze causing Lexa to swallow thickly before reaching out to finally take the shirt still hanging from the blonde’s hand “I liked her a lot”
“Okay” Lexa nodded, breaking their eye contact reluctantly as she looked around the cabin once more “It seems a lot smaller than what I remembered”
“Everything probably seems a lot smaller now” Clarke reasoned as she took a step backwards towards the door “So should we get this tour started?”
“Lead the way” Lexa responded without needing to be asked twice; hurrying out of the cabin, unable to leave the room quickly enough and throwing her camp shirt over her shoulder
“Why don’t you lead the way, see what you remember?” Clarke suggested, pulling the door closed quietly as she strolled ahead a few paces in front of Lexa “Could be a good memory clearing exercise”
“Oh believe me; I tried to numb this place out from my mind a long time ago but it didn’t work”
“I don’t blame you but you have to remember the camp grounds, you were here every year’ Clarke replied casually with a small shrug “And you owe me a long and dramatic story”
“It’s really not that interesting” Lexa shook her head quickly as she looked at the beginnings of the different pathways “I know where I want to go”
“Lead the way” Clarke responded with a nod as the girls started on their trail slowly, Lexa silently contemplating what exactly she was going to tell the younger girl without making herself sound sad or pathetic “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want but I totally did just tell you my story”
“Your story was nice though” Lexa shook her head quickly with a confused expression “ But I’m the one who landed myself in this position”
“You sound like you’re incarcerated” Clarke laughed quietly, glancing at the brunette whom she was following “Which I guess it probably could feel like”
“Well I left this place and I graduated from High School, I left Colorado as soon as I could. I wanted to be on my own and see if I could do it by myself. I just wanted to get away from here” Lexa mumbled softly “I don’t know; I just never really found my place here so I applied for college in California and got into UCLA. Honestly this is the first time I have been back to Colorado for a long time and I never really expected to come back here, I don’t even really come back to visit my parents”
“You go to UCLA too?” Clarke raised her eyebrows “Small world”
“I’m at the medical school now, but yeah” Lexa scratched the back of her neck awkwardly as they took a right turn down the seemingly endless dirt paths as the brunette switched over to autopilot “I guess we could be seeing more of each other after camp, huh?”
“Only if you wanted to” Clarke offered honestly
“I wouldn’t mind seeing you around campus” Lexa replied almost too honestly for her own comfort “Anyway, I moved to California pretty quickly and that’s where I met Anya. She actually lives in the apartment next to mine, we didn’t start off so great but we really clicked after actually talking a few times”
“Is Anya at UCLA too?”
“No, she’s an actress actually, like everyone else in California but she’s really good; she just needs someone to give her a break” Lexa replied, a small smile pulling at her lips as she looked ahead at the path they were taking “I forgot how well I knew this place”
“I told you” Clarke said with a smirk as she gently bumped her shoulder against the brunette’s “Your story is hardly dramatic though”
“Well when I got to California I met a woman called Costia and there’s the start of the drama” Lexa sighed quietly, pausing as they turned another corner to be looking directly Lake Jaha, the place where Lexa found herself more often than not when she was at camp “This is better than I remembered”
“I’m not surprised you came this way” Clarke spoke honestly as she looked to the brunette “We used to always find you here, even when you weren’t supposed to be here”
“It was always too far for anyone to bother coming to and I knew that” Lexa shrugged “I know we are supposed to be looking around but would you mind if we went and sat down by the water for a little?”
“Of course” Clarke smiled kindly as she nodded before they approached the newly rebuilt boardwalk “They’ve done a few upgrades to it since you have been here but it’s still the same lake; just now you don’t have the chance of getting your foot stuck or falling through”
“Yeah that was a problem” Lexa responded as she tried to prevent a small chuckle from escaping her lips but failed miserably “It’s just strange that after all of these years everything else looks so much smaller except for this”
“It was huge in the first place” Clarke shrugged, the smile still lingering on her lips as she followed Lexa’s lead as the brunette sat down on the edge of the boardwalk with their legs dangling over the edge “And you keep stalling your story, you got to Costia and stopped”
“Costia pretty much had me straight away; I was kind of just taken with everything she was at the start. We were together for a long time, she moved in with me and things were pretty great; we had our problems like anyone else but for the most part things were great. I guess I was stupid but I thought we’d be together until we were grey and old, obviously though Costia didn’t feel the same” Lexa mumbled as she looked down at her feet as her shoes skimmed the surface of the water absently “Obviously I was stupid to think that”
“What happened?” Clarke asked reluctantly as she kept her eyes locked on the brunette
“Well I came home from class early and I found her in bed with one of our good friends. She didn’t really even bother to try and make an excuse or try to justify what I had seen so she just told me that she was unhappy and would be moving out” Lexa replied with a small shrug “Things weren’t that clean, it got pretty messy towards the end when she started dating the guy she was in bed with. She became really nasty, really cold towards me and really petty; foolishly I just let her get away with it because I thought I still loved her. It was pretty hard to see them around campus together, I saw her around a lot because I knew her schedule. Anyway I decided that I wasn’t going to let her put me through that so I decided to gather what money I had, defer my study and I’ve just come back from a year travelling around Europe”
“Wow” Clarke gawked with raised eyebrows “That was pretty brave of you to just pick up and go”
“I had to do something and it was the most amazing year of my life but I came back and realized that I really needed money” Lexa turned her attention to the girl sitting next to her “And being a lifeguard at small water parks doesn’t pay as much as it does here so that’s how I ended up back at camp”
“That’s pretty rough” Clarke nodded, bringing a hand to run through her hair “But I still think it took a lot of guts to do what you did”
“My parents thought I was stupid or irresponsible because I’m in my last year of medical school and I should have been taking up an internship at the children’s hospital this year instead but I needed to do something. I mean I don’t disagree with them, I’m 25 and I’m here for the summer when I should have started my career as a pediatrician” Lexa responded with a shake of her head “I haven’t heard from Costia in a year and I’m assuming she has graduated like I was supposed to”
“A pediatrician?” Clarke cocked an eyebrow “Wow, you must be super smart”
“I’m intelligent enough” Lexa replied modestly, her voice quietening as she spoke again “So that’s my dramatic story”
“It was pretty dramatic, you were right but you’re kind of my hero right now for having the guts to do that so far into your studies” Clarke admitted enthusiastically “I have always wanted to go to Europe”
“You should, it’s incredible” The brunette encouraged quietly “I just figured after a year I had to stop running and plus I was severely low on cash”
“A good reason to come back” Clarke joked, not going unnoticed by Lexa how the blonde leaned towards her ever so slightly so their shoulders brushed “I think you’ve just talked to me more in the past few minutes than you ever have before”
“I talked to you” Lexa rolled her eyes with an even expression “You were probably the one person I talked to; I may not have talked lots but I said a few things to you”
“So if Anya isn’t in college, why is she here?” Clarke questioned curiously as her smile evened out “She seems great but she doesn’t seem like a summer camp kind of person”
“She’s not really but she’s a great friend and agreed to come with me” Lexa responded before pausing “That and because she needs the money too”
“Of course” Clarke chuckled
“So how long have you and Finn been together for?” The brunette asked bravely, swallowing thickly as she waited for the response she knew she would get; unsure as to why she cared so much since she had only just reconnected with the blonde “If you don’t mind me asking that is”
“How do you know we are together?” Clarke asked with a cocked eyebrow
“Because I have eyes” Lexa shrugged
“Two years now, I’ve known him since my senior year but we didn’t start dating until then”
“Oh cool” Lexa nodded, internally chastising herself for not being able to muster up a little more enthusiasm about the blonde’s admissions
“Yeah he’s a good guy” Clarke responded with a nod of her own “He’s trying to transfer to UCLA as well but it hasn’t really worked out yet”
“Well hopefully it works out then” Lexa replied with a half smile before letting out a sigh, trying to change the subject quickly “Should we keep moving?”
“It’s your tour” Clarke shrugged with a small smile of her own before pushing herself up to her feet to stand at the edge of the lake “But probably, you will be spending enough time here as a lifeguard for the next eight weeks”
“I’m going to be assigned lifeguard duty?” Lexa asked as she stood too, catching the blonde glancing at her lips momentarily and suddenly feeling extremely aware of how close they were standing together
“Well you’re the only qualified person here to do so” Clarke replied as she grabbed Lexa’s wrist gently and began pulling her away from the lake “You’ll be perfect for the job and you kind of have to be because you’re that decision has already been made”
“What’s Anya going to be doing?”
“I had her in kitchen duty but maybe this year we can actually offer a small drama program” Clarke spoke her train of thought aloud “You two are quite handy to have around”
“That’s going to go straight to her head” Lexa smirked as Clarke kept hold of her wrist gently
“That’s okay, as long as she teaches the kids and who knows; maybe she will enjoy herself” Clarke grinned, glancing sideways momentarily “Maybe even more shockingly, you might enjoy yourself”
“I wouldn’t set your hopes up too high for that to happen, goals are supposed to be achievable” Lexa countered but unable to stop her smirk from turning into a smile as she looked at the other girl, trying to shake herself from the moment knowing that Clarke had a boyfriend and he was at the very same camp. She knew it would be the first of many times she would have to tell herself that; Clarke was even more than what Lexa remembered and someone she hadn’t really expected to come across again “That’s asking a bit too much”
“I’m not sure it is though, you’re smiling after all” Clarke joked harmlessly as she let go of Lexa’s wrist after giving it a gentle squeeze “You’re going to change your mind about this place now that you are back; I’m going to make sure of that”
“It was never you or the actual camp that made me not come back; it was just a majority of the kids” Lexa reasoned quickly, placing her fingers over her wrist that Clarke had just been holding; unable to figure out why she was so drawn to the blonde “And it might take a little more than that to undo the memories I have of this place”
“Yeah okay but I’m going to make sure you come away with good memories this time” Clarke nudged the older girl once more “This is going to be a good Summer, Lexa. You’ll see and you’ll agree with me before you leave”