Chapter Text
Charlie Spring woke up one morning with an overwhelming desire to head to the beaches in Herne Bay. To be honest, he's really not sure where that craving came from. He looked out the train window and saw a dreary and overcast sky, clearly threatening to open up and drench him. The temperature wasn't particularly enticing either, being unseasonable cool for mid-August. However, he had weeks before he would begin his final year of sixth form at Truham, and no obligations to stop him. His younger brother, Olly, was spending the week on a camping trip with his best friend's family and while Charlie worked in a cafe part-time, he'd been given the next couple days off.
The train was filled with commuters, each looking as dreary as the sky. Charlie supposed he himself didn't look much better. He hadn't bothered much with his appearance this morning, having pulled on his favourite jeans and jumper, both dark. The jeans were so well-loved and threadbare he'd blown out the knees (but it just added to the charm, didn't it?). His outfit was finished off with his trusty less-than-white Converse sneakers and his curly hair was a bit of an unruly mess, but it wasn't not as though he had anyone to impress.
As the train pulled into the station at Herne Bay, Charlie put his copy of Bridehead Revisted back into his backpack and pulled out his phone. He sent a text off to his family chat to let them know where he was, and headed towards the water. The beach was essentially empty as Charlie saw just one other person in his first hour there, an older man digging around in the sand with a metal detector. He gazed out into the ocean, his mind strangely at peace. If he was being honest, there hadn't been much of that lately. Charlie had been struggling for years with a few mental illnesses, including anorexia and OCD. Lately both had been flaring up and he felt at a loss for how to cope. Something felt... off. He knew he'd been in recovery for the anorexia for a while now, but so many of his memories of his recovery and his coping mechanisms are hazy. He made note to talk to Geoff, his therapist, about this.
Later that afternoon, Charlie grabbed his journal from his backpack and curled up on some large rocks at the edge of the water. He opened to his most recent entry and read aloud the passage dated New Years Day of 2010. "Not much to say. Ben never messaged once this whole school break. I know he's not ready to come out, but I'm starting to wonder if this is just going to go on like this forever! My best guess? Yes. It's not like anyone else is going to want me." As he wonders how he really left it untouched for this long, he noticed something odd: many pages have been torn out following this entry.
He pulled out his pen and began a new entry on a fresh page.
August 8, 2012. So, it's been a while. Apparently I haven't written here in over two years?! Where did those years go. I feel like apologizing, but that's stupid as I know it's not like you care. But anyway, I guess one day it'll all be over and I'll be gone. And it's not like anyone is going to even remember I was here.
I ran off today to the beach at Herne Bay. I haven't been here since I was a really little kid. Not sure what prompted it. Can't imagine mom's going to be pleased, but it's not like I had anything else I needed to do today.
It's cold. And windy. And I think it might rain.
Not really sure what to say. I saw Ben last night. It's the first time since he transferred to Higgs. We snogged for a while. Like it was super easy to just fall into that old pattern. He was telling me he wanted me back. I guess that's good. Maybe he's changed? But...
He paused, not quite sure how to describe his hesitancy. He looked up and saw an athletic boy off in the distance walking towards him. His bright orange Adidas shirt stood out against the grey sky. As he got a little closer, Charlie recognized that this boy is blond, beautiful and cannot be much older than he is. Realizing he was staring (and perhaps drooling a little) at this almost undoubtedly straight stranger, Charlie started pretending to focus on his journal. However, as the Adonis in front of him walked past, he watched him walk towards the water and stare into the ocean in exactly the spot Charlie had been when he first arrived this morning. Charlie goes back to his writing.
It's not like I'll ever do better. I mean I can't even make eye contact with an attractive guy. Maybe Ben's my only option.
A little later, Charlie wandered around the beach peeking into the various shops and restaurants trying to find something for lunch that he could stomach. He discovered a cute little Fish and Chip place that has a very cozy feel. It had the aura of a place that would probably be quite popular when the temperatures weren't in the low teens. Charlie slid into a booth and gazed around at the only other patrons, an elderly couple sitting at the counter drinking tea. Charlie ordered a cuppa for himself as well as a small basket of chips. As he picked away at those, the beautiful blond from earlier entered.
"Hi! Starting to feel like this is my second home!," he called out to the waitress.
"Nick! I wasn't sure we'd see you today in this weather," she called back. "Tea?"
"Gods, yes. You might just be a lifesaver. I really should have dressed for the weather," he said as he pointed to his short sleeves.
"You know what you want?" she asked.
"There's the question of the century!" he joked, but when he saw her impatient scowl, he sheepishly added, "2 piece cod with chips."
The waitress headed to the kitchen, writing the order on her notepad.
The newcomer surveyed the restaurant and his honey brown eyes met Charlie's blue ones. Charlie experienced a rush of nerves and wondered if he's about to experience an angry homophobe, but instead the blond's face lit up into a gorgeous smile. Charlie blushed, embarrassed and looked back down at his food. When he looked back up, he saw the boy (Nick, if the waitress is to be believed) was now absorbed in some kind of book.