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The evening was young, but it was already starting to get dark out. Winter was just creeping up on them, and the air had a chill to it already. Not the kind of chill that made it unbearable to be out in, just the kind of just barely sharp breeze that crawled under your skin and made bundling up in blankets the perfect way to spend your night. It was the perfect night to lie under the stars.
If they had been in any other context, any other life, Rudy was sure they would have spent the past week doing just that, him and Alejandro watching the sun go down, lying there as they talked and laughed and watched the stars. But as it was, they were trying desperately to keep their home from being totally lost to the cartel. They didn't have spare time for silly indulgences. Didn't have any time at all.
But after a week of perfect nights like that, Rudy decided it didn't matter. He was going to drag Alejandro out of his office, they were going to have a nice night, and for a few hours they could forget about the war they were waging.
So he packed them a picnic basket, stuffed every spare blanket into the back of the pickup he had commandeered for the night, and had found himself outside of Alejandro's office.
"Finish up whatever you're doing," he said, "I need you for something."
"How important is it?" asked Alejandro, "The files can wait if it's-"
"It's not so time sensitive you can't finish what you were doing, Ale." he reassured him.
Alejandro looked a little as if he didn't believe him, but finished up his work anyway. Once he was done, he stood up from his desk, wordlessly following Rudy. They had done this many times before, and they would probably do it many times again. Rudy would come to Alejandro because something needed to be done, and Alejandro wouldn't ask any questions. It was the kind of trust that came from spending your whole lives attached at the hip, and it was exactly why they worked so well together.
When Rudy climbed into the pickup, Alejandro quirked an eyebrow at him, but didn't ask any questions. Rudy was glad he didn't. If he did, then he might have to explain what they were doing, and Alejandro would never agree to it. Rudy knew that work was important, knew they couldn't do this as often as he'd like, but he also knew that if all they ever did was work, they were going to crash and burn.
So he could make the excuse for one night of indulgence. It was for the better.
"Rudy," asked Alejandro, as it became increasingly clear that they weren't going anywhere they would normally be needed, "where are we going?"
"Away," said Rudy, "we need a night away."
"We can't just-" protested Alejandro.
"We can. It's just one night off."
Alejandro didn't look terribly pleased, but he didn't protest, so Rudy took it as a win.
Once they reached their destination - an open field far enough away from the built up city to be able to see the stars - Rudy climbed out, opening the back of the truck to pull out the supplies he had brought.
"What are we doing here?" asked Alejandro, clearly confused.
"Nothing at all." replied Rudy.
Shutting the door, Rudy tossed the bundle of blankets into the tray of the truck, sliding the picnic basket onto it too before he climbed in himself. After a moment of apprehension, Alejandro climbed in after him, settling down against the back of the cab.
"I made us a picnic," said Rudy, offering up the basket, "figured you hadn't eaten dinner yet."
"You know me too well, brother."
"Well, I have been stuck with you for the past three and a half decades." he teased.
"Ugh, you're making me feel old." complained Alejandro, "What did you pack us?"
Rudy handed the basket over to Alejandro, letting him see for himself. It wasn't anything exciting, just sandwiches and whatever other finger foods he could scrounge up from their limited supplies. But Alejandro seemed to light up at the sight of it. It was the thought that counted, Rudy figured.
"This looks wonderful, Rudy, thank you." said Alejandro.
He began to pull things out of the basket, handing Rudy a few items without consulting with him first. Of course, they were exactly the items Rudy would have chosen himself, so it didn’t exactly matter.
They sat in companionable silence for a while, just eating and staring up at the stars.
“I wish we could do this more,” said Alejandro, after a while, “it’s nice. Thank you.”
“Of course,” replied Rudy, “we should find time to not do anything every now and then.”
“I miss being able to do nothing,” said Alejandro, “I miss before all of this went to shit.”
“I wouldn’t trade it for the world though,” said Rudy, and Alejandro nodded his agreement.
“One day this’ll all be over and we can do this every night,” said Alejandro, leaning across the truck bed to move the picnic basket out of the way, “just you and me, under the stars, not having to worry about a thing.”
“I’d like that,” said Rudy, “I’d like that a lot, actually.”
They lapsed into comfortable silence again, and Alejandro leaned back to lie down flat against the blankets. The two of them stayed like that, watching the sky for a while, for a long time. Long enough that Rudy could trace the path the sky was shifting in, the way the stars had slid across the sky just slightly.
“I don’t know anything about proper constellations,” said Alejandro, “but I can see the appeal.”
“Hmmm?” queried Rudy, trying to follow Alejandro’s gaze upwards.
“Well, like… that one, the Y shape right above us? I think that’s probably a person, just upside down.”
Rudy laughed a little as he found the stars Alejandro was pointing to.
“Not much of an artist are you?” he teased, “Even when you have the whole sky of stars your people are still stick figures.”
Alejandro punched him in the arm.
“Like you could do much better, it’s not exactly easy.”
“I absolutely could,” he said, “let’s see…”
He looked around for more stars that were bright enough and close enough together to make a picture.
“Okay, down and to the left,” he said, pointing to a cluster of stars, “that’s a horse, I think.”
“Is your horse… moving?” asked Alejandro. “The head seems to be running away from it’s body.”
“Those are satellites!” said Rudy, laughing, “I wasn’t the one who put them there!”
“Mmmmm, maybe I should find out who did so I can make them get rid of them. Can’t have people ruining your picture, can we?” Alejandro said. Rudy knew he was only teasing, a simple joke to wind him up, but he said it so seriously that he half believed he would.
“Your turn, then,” said Rudy, “maybe something more creative than a stick figure this time.”
Alejandro hummed and hawed for a while, eyes skittering across the sky as he searched out another picture.
“There!” he said, sounding enthused, “down to the right. It’s a turtle.”
“Where?” asked Rudy, seeing nothing even remotely close to a turtle. “Are you sure that there’s a turtle up there?”
“Yes!” said Alejandro, grabbing Rudy by the shoulders and pulling him on top of him. “See, look! Right there!”
Following Alejandro’s arm, Rudy could see a cluster of bright stars in a ring shape. It wasn’t a turtle by any means, but it was at least a circle, so he was fairly confident he had the right stars.
“That is not a turtle, Ale,” he protested, “that is a circle.”
“Turtles are round!” argued Alejandro, not letting Rudy out of his grip even as his arm lowered again.
“Maybe,” said Rudy, “but not so round they don’t have any other appendages.”
Alejandro fell quiet for a bit, and Rudy figured that meant he had won. He kept watching the stars, just watching them shift slowly across the sky again, relaxing back against Alejandro’s chest. It was nice, the slow rise and fall that he leant into. He could stay like this for a long time, just relaxing against Alejandro’s chest as he watched the sky.
“We should get a turtle,” said Alejandro.
“What?”
“A turtle. We should get one. As a pet.”
Rudy laughed. He didn’t mean to, but the idea just seemed so ridiculous that he couldn’t help it.
“We don’t exactly have the time to look after ourselves right now, Ale. What makes you think we could look after a pet too?”
“Turtles are low maintenance, they’re easy. We could look after a turtle.”
“Ale,” said Rudy, shifting so he could look him in the face, “what would we do with a turtle when we were away on missions?”
“They can go without eating a few days, Rudy, they’re very hardy!”
“You want to starve our hypothetical pet whenever we have to go on a mission?”
“It’s not starving if he doesn’t mind!”
“He? ” asked Rudy.
“Yes, he! Or she, or they, or it, or whatever. The turtle. He won’t mind.”
“I just don’t think you’d make a very responsible pet owner.” said Rudy, tutting and turning away again.
Alejandro grabbed him by the shoulder again, turning Rudy to face him and not letting go.
“Please, Rodolfo. We could use some cheering up around base, and a pet could help with that. It’s company and it doesn’t run the risk of being shot or defecting. And a turtle seems like the best option if we get one.”
“You’ve thought about this a lot, huh?” asked Rudy. Alejandro’s voice had gone softer when he had spoken, his tone a little more serious. He clearly wanted this. But Rudy knew that getting a turtle wouldn’t end well.
Sure, Alejandro would take care of it, would do his best to keep it in good health, but Rudy had seen how the man got when he was down to a crunch. Everything he deemed non essential was pushed to the side, and that included sleep, and most eating, and pretty much everything that wasn’t work. Alejandro might care deeply for the turtle, but it wouldn’t stand a chance against his tunnel vision.
And missions could probably be managed just leaving it behind with some food, but the real risk came from the fact that their missions often ballooned in length. It wasn’t uncommon for something that should have been an overnight to stretch out over a week and a half. And there was no hope for the turtle if that happened.
So Rudy had to make sure that no turtle was acquired, because it wouldn’t end well if one was. But he could tell that Alejandro wanted this, wanted it badly, and so he had to let him down easy.
“I’ll think about it,” he opted for. It wasn’t an outright rejection, but it wasn’t a yes, either. And it seemed to satisfy Alejandro, because he lit up with a grin that Rudy didn’t get to see much anymore.
“Thank you,” he said, pulling Rudy in close again for a hug. “Thank you so much.”
Rudy couldn’t tell you exactly what had been the trigger. It might have been the way Alejandro had grinned at him, smile wide and sunny and just for him. It might have been the sincerity in his voice as he thanked him, the way Rudy could tell he meant it more than most things he said. It might have been the proximity, the way their bodies were pressed against one another close enough that Rudy could tell that at some point, their breathing had synced up.
It might have been any number of those things, or a dozen more that Rudy wasn’t even sure he was aware of, or nothing at all but the fact that the thought had been bubbling inside of him for well over thirty years now, even if he didn’t have the words for it then,
“I love you,” he said, and he meant it in a way he hadn’t said it before.
“I love you too,” said Alejandro, an affirmation that was too familiar to have understood what he meant.
“No.” said Rudy, heart rate increasing a little, “I love you. Romantically.”
“Oh.” said Alejandro, and for a moment - just a moment - Rudy was terrified.
“How long?” he asked Rudy, voice quivering a little.
“Too long. Thirty odd years. Not long enough.”
“Good.” said Alejandro, smiling now, although his voice was still shaky. “Good.”
Rudy didn’t get a chance to ask what that meant, though.
“Can I?” asked Alejandro, and Rudy just nodded.
When their lips met it was gentle, soft. When this scenario had played out in his head - and it had played out many, many times - it was always heated, and hasty, all raw passion and the build up of thirty years of tension. Instead, this was the kind of kiss that Rudy had hoped he might get ten years down the line. It was familiar, the same way laying in Alejandro’s arms was familiar, the kind of action that reminded you of what you were.
It was as if the past thirty years hadn’t been a tension, had just been the two of them in love, and this was the next natural step. And maybe they had been.
When Rudy finally pulled away so he could breathe, Alejandro was looking at him again. Gazing at him with the same star struck look, and absolutely beaming.
He couldn’t say for sure, but Rudy was pretty sure he must look pretty similar.
“Rudy!” called Alejandro, clattering coming from their shared bedroom, “have you seen my-”
“Your phone is charging in your office,” he called back, “you put it there because Cooper kept chewing on the cord when you let him out.”
“My son would do no such thing!” yelled Alejandro, before emerging from their room empty handed.
He planted a kiss on Rudy’s forehead as he headed out the door, cooing at the turtle currently planted in Rudy’s hands.
“Your father is a very strange man,” said Rudy once Alejandro had left, because he didn’t need to know that he talked to Cooper like he was a person, “but he loves you very much, so you should forgive him for that.”
Cooper just stared up at him, empty eyed, as turtles were wont to do.
He still wasn’t sure how he had been talked into letting them get a turtle, but Alejandro had succeeded, and so now Cooper was a part of their lives. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was very attached to the little guy.
Alejandro reappeared at the doorway, phone in hand.
“Put the turtle down,” said Alejandro, “c’mon, we’re gonna be late for dinner.”