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“I’m getting the impression something else happened between you and the Shadow Broker.” Shepard leaned forward in her seat, craning her head up at Liara across the desk that separated them. “This anger, it seems much to have come from what you’ve already told me before.”
Liara shut her eyes and sighed before rising from her seat. With her shoulders tense, she turned to face Illium’s skyline outside her window. Silence manifested into a knot within the marine's throat as her mind raced, attempting to fill the stillness with her thoughts. For a moment she felt compelled to move to comfort the Asari. Press their bodies together into an embrace, protect Liara from whatever haunted her from the two years she had missed out on.
Another part of her began to grow rather restless, she couldn’t even begin to imagine the things that the Shadow Broker had done to Liara. With each and every idea that popped into her head, anger kept her from completing the train of thought. Shepard didn’t know much, but what she did know was the hell she’d unleash in retaliation at whoever the son of a bitch was.
“Cerberus never told you how they recovered your body, did they?” Her tone was as cold as ice, reminding Shepard of the way she spoke to that man she threatened to flay with her mind.
“Miranda only ever said I was ‘passed around’-” the wording never sat around too well in her stomach- “before I ended up with Cerberus .” The organization's name escapes her mouth as if it were a curse, and suddenly she was very glad she’d sent Miranda back to the ship.
Shepard let Liara take the floor, but she just stood there, looking over the city below. The two of them shared the space and its moment, just listening to the passing skycars. Finally, Liara shook her head.
“I gave it to them. I gave you to them, Shepard…” The Commander stopped breathing as her entire world ground to a halt. Liara’s next words became barely audible as her ears began to ring. “Because they said they could rebuild you. And to do that I had to take it from the Shadow Broker.” She turned back away from the window, body towards Shepard, not daring to make eye contact. “Who was planning to sell your corpse to the collectors…”
The woman clad in armor sat back in her chair, her leg beginning to thump repeatedly against the floor with a heavy tap. Blue eyes searched her face to find some sort of reaction. All she was met with were glowing unmoving eyes staring right back at her. Liara could’ve sworn the similarly glowing scars had begun to pulse as well. It felt almost as though she found herself with a sniper aimed directly at her chest.
“Shepard-”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before now?” Her voice, though quiet, hit against Liara like a biotic slam. The words refused to fade away within her mind, instead reverberating on and on until she began to sink in on herself.
“Because I… I screwed it up, Shepard. I barely escaped with my own life and when I gave you to Cerberus, I told myself I was doing it for you. For a chance to bring you back…!” Back to me , she let those words remain unsaid as she clenched her fists at her side. “I knew that Cerberus would use you for their own business.” Her resolve began to dissipate with the drop of her head, as she suddenly found herself relying on leaning on the desk to hold herself tall. Tears stung at her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. “And I let it happen because I couldn’t let you go… I’m sorry.”
There was no response, not for a while as Liara fought off her tears.
Then, Shepard just rose silently from her seat, turned, and began to take steps towards the office exit. Once she caught on, Liara went right after her, nearly jumping her desk in her rush. Just before she made it to the door, a blue hand firmly grasped at her plated arm.
“Shepard-”
“We’ve seen what Cerberus has done, what they can do…” She spoke with spite lining every syllable that came from her mouth. Slowly she turned with her next words, her eyes glowing brighter than before. “We were there Chasca, Binthu, we heard what they did on Akuze… Or did you just happen to forget all of that?!” She raised her voice slightly.
“Of course I didn’t, Shepard-!” The Commander shook free of her grasp.
“Then how could you? After everything, the very reason I’m stuck with those shitbags, why I’m like this, was you all along!”
“It was either Cerberus or the Collectors,” she straightens her stance, trying to make use of the couple of inches she holds over Shepard. “What would you have preferred?”
Suddenly they stand staring in a deadlock. Both seemingly ready to hold out for as long as it could possibly take. Liara looked surprisingly indomitable standing only in the dress that covered the length of her body, which hugged a little too tightly in some places. Shepard with her back nearly to the door and yet remaining as rigid as a wall.
Perhaps unknowingly, the pulsing of Shepards' eyes and scars subsides into much more gentle illumination. Finally, Liara can clearly see her hazel eyes with little specks of green, the same eyes that she’d fallen for two years ago. It pulls at something deep within her.
“You would have been dead.” Her voice betrays her, it breaks and quivers, leaving her feeling much smaller than even before. Liara would like to think she could keep up, unrelenting, but with those eyes, she just couldn’t take it anymore. “Please just say something…” Her heart fell as those beautiful eyes turned to the ground.
“Liara, they know everything.” She bit her lip, and after shaking her head slightly, Shepard exhaled unsteadily. “There’s a picture of you in my Cabin on the SR-2.” Just knowing that would’ve made the Asari’s heart swell, if only the next words hadn’t been uttered. “I didn’t put that picture there, Liara. Cerberus did .” Betraying the power she had in merely just her stance and voice, tears began to fall from Shepards' eyes. Finally, she met Liara’s gaze, and that's when it sank in, her blue eyes going wide with the fear that came with the realization. “They know everything .”
“Shepard- I never told them… I never even alluded to what we had between us!” Seeing how Shepard barely moved a muscle, she began to grow desperate. “You have to believe me-”
“I do, but, Liara, that’s not the point…” The tears went on raging silently downward upon her face. Liara couldn’t help but shed tears of her own now as she took a step closer to the human. “I step foot on that ship thinking I could get as far away from Cerberus as I possibly could. Get back to you, turn to the Alliance, hell, even the Council…!” Shepard's fingers twitched upwards as she scanned over every little detail on Liara's face. “But then I saw your face and I was horrified . Until then I thought by not complying with them, that I only risked losing their resources, having to worry about Cerberus lackeys coming after me until the day I finally get to die. But instead, I-...” A blue hand went to hold her face, and despite everything, Shepard leaned into it, letting her head rest within it.
“You’re afraid of what they could do to me…?” The answer was obvious and yet she couldn’t help the inflection of her voice lifting at the end of the phrase.
Nonetheless, Shepard nodded and Liara brought her other hand up to wipe the tears from her face. The Commander sighed further into the touch, letting her shoulders sag slightly as she closed her eyes and sobbed. The Asari was almost bewildered, in those few intense and frustrating months she’d spent with Shepard, she never saw her cry this hard. It broke her heart all over again. At that moment she wanted nothing but to lay beside her like she had the nights after the attack on the Citadel. Playing with her short soft curls, pressing kisses to her forehead, tracing the scars on her face with the lightest of touches. At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel as though it would be inappropriate now.
Shepard took her time before going on, letting her breaths steady and deepen.
“Finding out that even after all I’ve been told, all I’ve done, you were the one that gave my body to them…” Exhaustion was thick within her words instead of that spite. “I’m starting to understand why now, but still, telling me should’ve been the very first thing you told me… And you’ve treated me like-” Stopping herself, and with Liara not even daring to inquire further, Shepard shook her head softly before bringing her hands upward to Liara’s. Gently, she pulled those blue hands back down and to Liara’s sides. It took a good second to let go and let both their hands just hang. “I don’t know what to say.”
Liara wiped at her own tears as Shepard sniffed and faced the floor once more. She’s left to stare at those gloved hands, wishing she could hold the calloused hands underneath. Then it hit her because that’s exactly what she could do. Something that may even help the two figure everything out. She straightened up once more, dead set on delivering her offer, though the awkwardness came back creeping at the back of her mind.
“Perhaps, you don’t even need to say a single word, Shepard…”
Their eyes met once more, and for a tiny instant, she thought that Shepard may accept. For that instant, though eager to smooth things over between them, the prospect of melding with Shepard wasn’t thrilling as it was before. She grew frightened, there were things within her now that she worried would drive Shepard even further away than what she had already done. What would she do if it was truly confirmed that she was nearly an entirely different person from those days on the SR-1?
“I don’t think I can do that now.” Liara couldn’t help but feel both disappointed and relieved. “I think it's time for me to get back to the ship…”
“Yes, that may be for the best…” She kept herself from reaching out as the Commander stepped backwards towards the door.
“I’ll see you around, Liara. Best of luck with your hunt.” Shepard didn't mean for it to come out like a hiss, but she didn’t feel like saying much else, not even an explanation or apology.
“Thank you, Shepard, and goodbye.” Liara just tried her best to let it pass for now, maybe it was for the best.
With both of them in tears, Shepard finally turned and left. Liara made sure to watch her from her office window as she marched her way back to the docking bay. She gave one last wipe at her tears before sitting herself back down at her computer. Immediately opening up databases, full of a plethora of new contacts, deals, messages, and leads. There would be time for rest, recovery, and maybe even reconciliation, later. Now?
Now, she had work to do.