Work Text:
On Diavolo’s desk there were three work trays.
"In" and "Out" were both neatly labelled in Barbatos’ usual meticulous style. The Prince himself was responsible for the third tray, with its large label reading "Shake It All About" written in his typically flamboyant hand.
Diavolo had reached the end of the urgent paperwork. It was rather a satisfying experience, seeing the "In" tray look empty and the "Out" tray look full.
What was concerning him now however, was the third tray.
“Shake It All About” was primarily used for any matters requiring further, and more creative, thought. Right now it was full of a motley collection of unusual submissions from the RAD Student Suggestion Box.
Several months ago, MC had conducted one of their regular Mortal Realm Cross Cultural Workshops and had, for some reason, touched on the subject of Agony Aunts, Dear Abbys and Dear Dorothys. In other words, advice columnists.
Since then there had been a small but consistent number of letters coming into the suggestion box requesting advice.
Looking at the collection before him, Diavolo wrinkled his nose, wondering what was best to do with these letters.
Some were simple, easy to answer.
“Dear Aunty D - I’ve been dating a great guy, who originally agreed to go dutch on dates. Everytime we go out he “forgets” his wallet and I end up paying. What do I do? - from Seriously Broke”
“Dear Seriously - Go to cheaper places or stop dating greed demons - from Aunty D”
That one was easy alright but some of them were much harder to solve.
“Dear Aunty D - Someone played a prank in the cafeteria, spiking my drink with a charm. My tail is now blue. What would be the best creative revenge? - from Smurf Arse”
This was a far more nuanced question. Obviously it depended on who placed the charm. If it was one of the cafeteria staff then forget it. They were a scary tribe of demons who took no cheek from anyone AND were the people in control of the distribution network for all Devil Bee Honey Puddings in the realm. Nobody messed with the cafeteria staff.
Sighing, Diavolo moved onto the next letter.
“Dear Aunty D - I work for a respected and respectable employer who has an unfortunate addiction to mortal realm garden ornaments. How many lawn flamingos consitute a hostile work environment? - from Stressed in the Garden”
The Prince’s eyes lit up. Incredulous, he cried out for his butler “BARBATOS!! LOOK AT THIS!”
Waving the letter about, his smile wider than the Cheshire Cat’s, Diavolo proudly observed, “Someone else in the realm has a collection of lawn flamingos!”
Barbatos, who had recognised immediately the handwriting of their very own Palace gardener, allowed himself a small smile as he took the offending letter.
“Indeed my Lord, I shall manage this enquiry. Who knows? Perhaps we will find someone with whom you can share your fascination.”
“You know, Barbatos,” leaning back in his chair, Diavolo scratched his chin thoughtfully. “I believe I shall redirect all of these letters to the RAD Press. They are an extremely capable team. I have great faith in their ability to manage it all.”
Happy with his decision, Diavolo realised he couldn’t wait to find out how it all played out.
After all, it wouldn’t be him taking on the cafeteria staff.