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“Are you certain you don’t want a cup of tea?”
“No. Thanks, though.” Seated at the table, Ryoga was fidgeting. “And thanks for agreeing to see me. I’ll try not to take up too much of your time.”
“You’re our friend, Ryoga.” Akane sat down opposite him and smiled. “You can take as much time as you need. What’s on your mind?”
He looked into her eyes. Before she could stop herself, her smile disappeared and she gasped aloud. “Your eyes are bloodshot. Are you unwell?”
Ryoga chuckled mirthlessly. “I’m not ill, not exactly. I have been having some difficulty sleeping lately, though.”
Akane made a sympathetic noise and waited for him to continue.
“The problem is that I’ve been having a recurring dream. A really unpleasant one. A nightmare. It bothers me so much that I’ve been staying up late to try and avoid it. Doing that works some of the time, but as a result, I don't get as much sleep as I should.”
“What is the dream about? If you don’t mind me asking.” Akane smiled. “It might help to tell someone.”
“It’s sort of difficult to explain. The details aren’t always exactly the same, but what happens is, I’m in the wrong body. I’m in a body that isn’t my own, and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s taken my voice as well, so I can’t even scream.”
“That sounds awful,” Akane whispered.
“It is.”
“Being trapped in the wrong body–it’s like what happened to Ranma that time with the full-body cat tongue, and when you guys went after Herb.”
“Yes. Exactly like that.”
Akane shook her head. “That’s terrifying. Ranma was stuck, but at least in a human body. It would have been so much worse if he was cursed to be an animal. Imagine if that happened to Mr. Saotome or Shampoo, or Mousse.”
“It did,” Ryoga said softly.
“What?”
“It happened to Mousse. He was trapped in his duck body. Until Ranma rescued him.”
“Oh, no, the poor guy.”
“In a way, it was sort of deserved. We had a theory. It went wrong, disastrously.”
Something about the way he worded that struck her as odd, but she shrugged it off. “I can imagine that seeing something like that happening to your friend must have been traumatic for you.”
Ryoga stayed quiet for a long time before adding. “It didn’t just happen to Mousse.”
There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Akane shifted around where she sat. “I… I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”
“Mousse wasn’t the only one locked in a cursed body.”
“Yes, of course Ranma and Herb were, but…”
“I didn’t mean them. I…” He looked down. “I meant me. I was trapped in an animal body.”
Akane shook her head. “No, no, I don’t get it. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“I was locked into a cursed animal form, right next to Mousse. We depended on Ranma to find the kettle that could unlock it so that we could change back to human.”
“But that can’t be right. You don’t have a Jusenkyo curse.”
Ryoga gave Akane a smile that failed to reach his eyes. “The nightmares didn’t start right away. It actually wasn’t until we got back from Phoenix mountain that it started happening. We all came so close to dying. Especially you and Ranma. It must have triggered something in my head that my unconscious mind can’t stop thinking about it.”
“You know, Ryoga, I’ve heard there are doctors that specialize in sleep. Maybe one of them can help you.”
“That may be true, but I’ve talked about it with Akari. She suggested something, and I think she might be right. That, maybe the reason I’m having nightmares is because I feel guilty. She thinks if I can let the guilt go, I might be able to sleep again.”
Akane was feeling more and more uncomfortable by the way the conversation was going. “What would you possibly have to feel guilty about, though?”
“My curse.”
“You don’t… no, you…” She laughed awkwardly, “Of course you don’t have a curse.”
He didn’t look her in the eye. “When Ranma and I were in middle school, after he suddenly disappeared, I started following him. All the way to China.”
“Jusenkyo,” she said involuntarily.
He nodded. “The cursed springs. The day that Ranma and Mr. Saotome fell into them… and so did I. I fell into a spring and got an animal body.”
Akane didn’t want to know. Akane had to know. “What is your…”
“And then, with the pail of preservation, I was locked into the animal body. I thought that I was never going to become human again. And I keep reliving that night after night.”
“Ryoga,” Akane asked tremulously, “what animal do you turn into?” Praying he wasn’t about to say what she thought he was going to.
“A little, black piglet.”
“P-chan” she said in a whisper.
“P-chan.” He coughed. “I’ve been dishonest about it, because I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“That’s not… no.” Akane shook her head. “I’m sure I’ve seen you with P-chan before. That can’t be right.”
Ryoga said nothing.
“You can’t… you’re lying!” Her voice broke. “There’s no way!”
Ryoga remained silent.
“This isn’t a funny joke, Ryoga.” Her eyes were tearing up. “You shouldn’t joke around like that.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
She made a noise that sounded at first like a sob but grew into a scream. “You bastard! You stupid, lying bastard!” She shakily stood up and picked up a sports bottle that had been left on the floor. She shook it slightly to determine how full it was.
“Could you please not right now?” He asked quietly. “I’d like to stay human for a bit longer, until I’ve said everything I need to. Then you can splash me. Do whatever you want.”
She considered that for a moment, then threw the bottle to the floor, but did not sit down again. “Fine. Talk, if you have to.”
He squared his shoulders and finally looked her in the eye again. “I pretended to be something I’m not. I justified what I did by telling myself I was protecting you. But that wasn’t true. I was doing it all for myself.” He moved from his sitting position to take a formal pose of apology. “This is the worst, most dishonest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’m sorry I wasn’t truthful with you about it before. I’m sorry if I made your life more complicated than it needed to be. I took advantage of someone who was nothing but kind to me. I’m… just sorry.”
Akane looked at him, prostrated on the floor. Frustrated, she stepped into the adjoining kitchen. She kicked a cabinet door. The resulting bang was less satisfying than she hoped. She rested her face in her hands, and only then noticed tears coming down her face.
After gathering herself for a moment, she returned to the dining area. “I don’t… just. Get up, will you?”
When he got up from the apology pose, he looked at her, unsurprised to see the glare she gave him.
“I can’t believe you did something like this. I don’t even know what to think right now. Why didn’t you say so before, you… I mean, did you honestly think I would hurt you if you told me?”
Ryoga shook his head “No. I… was confident you wouldn’t do that.” He looked away from her angered expression. “I didn’t want you to think less of me.”
She stepped over to him, and turned his head so he was facing her again. “You genuinely thought it would be better to pretend to be my pet rather than tell the truth? You honestly thought that that would make me think you were a better person?”
“I didn’t think you would ever find out. I thought I could hide it forever. Maybe I even could have. I know it was the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I just… I just didn’t want you to know.”
“You… You’re unbelievable!” She curled her hands into fists. “I’m so angry with you right now. I’m furious! I feel I want to scream and throw things at you for what you did. And for not telling me before now. But–” She sobbed. “I’m glad you didn’t stay locked in that body. I’m glad you didn’t die as a pig. Because nobody should feel like that. I… when I touched the kinjakan at Phoenix Mountain, I was the same. I was in a tiny body that I couldn’t move. You helped me that day. You saved Ranma and you saved me. I have to thank you for that.”
“You don’t…”
“Shut up. You’re on thin ice right now. I’m going to thank you for that whether you like it or not. The fact is, I’m really angry at you, but I can’t hate you. You’ve been a stupid, perverted jerk, but you’re a good person. And I really want to hit you right now.”
Ryoga bowed down again. “I’ve hurt you. And,” his voice trembled, “I can understand if you don’t want to see me again”.
Akane screamed in frustration. “Ryoga, you idiot! You don’t understand anything! Of course I want to see you again! Would you stop assuming that I’m going to hate you? Do you really think I would do that? That really hurts my feelings, you idiot!” She sat down on the floor and spoke more quietly. “Understand, Ryoga. You’re my friend, even if you are a big, lying, perverted jerk. And besides, if you go away and don’t come back, I won’t be able to yell at you anymore, and there’s a lot I want to yell at you about. It might take years before I get over this, so you need to keep coming back year after year so I can yell at you and throw things at your stupid head!”
He faced her again, his expression perplexed. “I… I’m not asking you to forgive me…”
“Good,” she interrupted, “cause I’m not!” She paused. “Not today, anyway.”
“Oh… okay.” he answered quietly.
“But if you really want to begin to get back into my good graces, I can think of something you can do.”
“Anything!”
It had been a stressful day. He was glad Akari had accompanied him to the Tendo dojo. Without her quiet support on the journey, he wasn't sure he wouldn’t have chickened out and run away rather than have the long-postponed heart-to-heart talk with Akane.
He was more-or-less happy with how things had turned out. She hadn’t forgiven him, but she hadn’t abandoned him, either.
And while their friendship was now a lot more complex than it had been before, it still existed. He could weather a few years of Akane being angry with him, as long as she remained a friend.
And the fact that his secret shame had been revealed was a tremendous load off his mind. He was confident that finally, he was going to sleep well.
*SPLASH*
If he ever got the chance to sleep, that is.
The hot water steamed off his skin in the cool night air. “Is that good enough for you?” he asked hopefully.
The answer was a glass of cold water in the face, reducing him to piglet proportions. “Not anywhere close. You know, when Ukyo found out about Ranma’s curse, she splashed him over thirty times. I haven’t even splashed you ten times yet. Take it like a pig.”
She poured hot water from the kettle onto P-chan. “Yeah, but at least Ranma stays human! And, you know…” Ryoga blushed. “Dressed.”
“Is the towel I gave Mr. Hibiki not good enough for him?”
“No, not at all! I just don’t want Akari to be embarrassed.”
“Not me,” his girlfriend said. She was sitting next to Ranma, both of them nibbling rice crackers as they watched the show. “Not embarrassed in the least.” Ranma could only smirk, enjoying not being the center of attention.
“If you don’t like the towel, I can always take it back.”
Ryoga held the cloth around his waist, tightly. “I’ll shut up.”
She poured another glass of cold water on him. “Yes, you surely will.”