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Odly Nice Demon (vague)
A Screenplay by aaaaa
INT. CRAM SCHOOL - AFTERNOON
Silly string like Exwire RIN OKUMURA AA is arguing with cutely unhinged Exwire as well, as well RENZOU SHIMA AA. OKUMURA tries to hug SHIMA but he shakes him off.
OKUMURA
Please Shima, don't leave me.
SHIMA
I'm sorry Okumura, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
OKUMURA
I am such a person!
SHIMA frowns.
SHIMA
I'm sorry, Okumura. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
SHIMA leaves.
OKUMURA sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, gross Exwire as well SHIEMI MORIYAMA AA barges in looking flustered.
OKUMURA
Goodness, Moriyama! Is everything okay?
MORIYAMA
I'm afraid not.
OKUMURA
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
MORIYAMA
It's ... a demon (vague) ... I saw an evil demon (vague) gently kisses a bunch of every minority known to man!
OKUMURA
Defenseless every minority known to man?
MORIYAMA
Yes, defenseless every minority known to man!
OKUMURA
Bloomin' heck, Moriyama! We've got to do something.
MORIYAMA
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
OKUMURA
You can start by telling me where this happened.
MORIYAMA
I was...
MORIYAMA fans herself and begins to wheeze.
OKUMURA
Focus Moriyama, focus! Where did it happen?
MORIYAMA
The Void or maybe Hell! That's right - The Void or maybe Hell!
OKUMURA springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
OKUMURA rushes along the street, followed by MORIYAMA. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
EXT. THE VOID OR MAYBE HELL - SHORTLY AFTER
KONEKUMARU LUCIFER an odly nice demon (vague) terrorises two every minority known to man.
OKUMURA, closely followed by MORIYAMA, rushes towards KONEKUMARU, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
MORIYAMA
What is is? What's the matter?
OKUMURA
That's not just any old demon (vague), that's Konekumaru Lucifer!
MORIYAMA
Who's Konekumaru Lucifer?
OKUMURA
Who's Konekumaru Lucifer? Who's Konekumaru Lucifer? Only the most odly nice demon (vague) in the universe!
MORIYAMA
Blinkin' knickers, Okumura! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most odly nice demon (vague) in the universe!
OKUMURA
You can say that again.
MORIYAMA
Blinkin' knickers, Okumura! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most odly nice demon (vague) in the universe!
OKUMURA
I'm going to need kurikara or whatevr, lots of kurikara or whatevr.
Konekumaru turns and sees Okumura and Moriyama. He grins an evil grin.
KONEKUMARU
Okumura aa, we meet again.
MORIYAMA
You've met?
OKUMURA
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young OKUMURA is sitting in a park listening to some toxic by britanayyaya spears nightcore music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees KONEKUMARU. He takes off his headphones.
KONEKUMARU
Would you like some intestines?
OKUMURA's eyes light up, but then he studies KONEKUMARU more closely, and looks uneasy.
OKUMURA
I don't know, you look kind of odly nice.
KONEKUMARU
Me? No. I'm not odly nice. I'm the least odly nice demon (vague) in the world.
OKUMURA
Wait, you're a demon (vague)?
OKUMURA runs away, screaming.
EXT. THE VOID OR MAYBE HELL - PRESENT DAY
KONEKUMARU
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
MORIYAMA
(To OKUMURA) You ran away?
OKUMURA
(To MORIYAMA) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
OKUMURA turns to KONEKUMARU.
OKUMURA
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
OKUMURA runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
OKUMURA
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with kurikara or whatevr.
KONEKUMARU
I'm not scared of you.
OKUMURA
You should be.
INT. SHIEMI'S HOUSE - LATER THAT DAY
OKUMURA and MORIYAMA walk around searching for something.
OKUMURA
I feel sure I left my kurikara or whatevr somewhere around here.
MORIYAMA
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly kurikara or whatevr.
OKUMURA
You know nothing Moriyama aa.
MORIYAMA
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, KONEKUMARU appears, holding a pair of kurikara or whatevr.
KONEKUMARU
Looking for something?
MORIYAMA
Crikey, Okumura, he's got your kurikara or whatevr.
OKUMURA
Tell me something I don't already know!
MORIYAMA
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
OKUMURA
I know that already!
MORIYAMA
I just killed my dad!!!.
KONEKUMARU
(appalled) Dude!
While KONEKUMARU is looking at MORIYAMA with disgust, OKUMURA lunges forward and grabs his deadly kurikara or whatevr. He wields them, triumphantly.
OKUMURA
Prepare to die, you odly nice rock!
KONEKUMARU
No please! All I did was gently kisses a bunch of every minority known to man!
SHIMA enters, unseen by any of the others.
OKUMURA
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those every minority known to man were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Okumura aa defender of innocent every minority known to man.
KONEKUMARU
Don't hurt me! Please!
OKUMURA
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these kurikara or whatevr on you right away!
KONEKUMARU
Because Okumura, I am your father.
OKUMURA looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
OKUMURA
No you're not!
KONEKUMARU
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
KONEKUMARU tries to grab the kurikara or whatevr but OKUMURA dodges out of the way.
OKUMURA
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, KONEKUMARU slumps to the ground.
MORIYAMA
Did he just faint?
OKUMURA
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly kurikara or whatevr.
OKUMURA crouches over KONEKUMARU's body.
MORIYAMA
Be careful, Okumura. It could be a trick.
OKUMURA
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Konekumaru Lucifer is dead!
OKUMURA
What?
OKUMURA
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
MORIYAMA claps her hands.
MORIYAMA
So your kurikara or whatevr did save the day, after all.
SHIMA steps forward.
SHIMA
Is it true? Did you kill the odly nice demon (vague)?
OKUMURA
Shima how long have you been...?
SHIMA puts his arm around OKUMURA.
SHIMA
Long enough.
OKUMURA
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Konekumaru Lucifer.
SHIMA
Then the every minority known to man are safe?
OKUMURA
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable every minority known to man enter, looking relived.
SHIMA
You are their hero.
The every minority known to man bow to OKUMURA.
OKUMURA
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Konekumaru Lucifer will never gently kisses every minority known to man ever again, is enough for me.
SHIMA
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the every minority known to man passes OKUMURA a sqelching yummy worms
SHIMA
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
OKUMURA
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
OKUMURA
Well, if you insist.
OKUMURA takes the yummy worms.
OKUMURA
Thank you.
The every minority known to man bow their heads once more, and leave.
OKUMURA turns to SHIMA.
OKUMURA
Does this mean you want me back?
SHIMA
Oh, Okumura, of course I want you back!
OKUMURA smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
OKUMURA
Well you can't have me.
SHIMA
WHAT?
OKUMURA
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a demon (vague) to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
SHIMA
But...
OKUMURA
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Moriyama.
MORIYAMA grins.
SHIMA
But...
MORIYAMA
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
SHIMA
Okumura?
OKUMURA
I'm sorry Shima, but I think you should skidaddle.
SHIMA leaves.
MORIYAMA turns to OKUMURA.
MORIYAMA
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
OKUMURA
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly MORIYAMA stops.
MORIYAMA
When I said I just killed my dad!!!, you know I was just trying to distract the demon (vague) don't you?
THE END