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They're lying together in bed one night when Taichi brings it up.
Their fingers are laced together, Chihaya's head resting in the crook of his neck. He lifts their hands to his lips, kisses hers, then says softly, "Hey, babe?"
"Mm?" she asks, half asleep.
"Can we talk for a minute?"
She's conscious enough to realize that he sounds anxious now, and she promptly opens her eyes and pulls back to look at him properly.
"Of course. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he assures her. "I've just been thinking about something a lot, and uh, well…I need your opinion."
She nods, encouraging him to continue.
Taichi takes a deep breath. "I think I want to have a baby. Only if you still want to, and if you're ready, of course. But I thought maybe I could just put the idea out there for you to think about."
"Yes," she says immediately.
"...Huh?" he asks, eyes wide. "You…don't need time to think?"
She shakes her head.
They'd both said early on in their relationship that they wanted kids someday. Now, they've been married for two years and are doing fine financially. There's really no point in waiting any longer.
And besides…
Taichi as a dad. She can't even begin to imagine how amazing he'll be.
He smiles at her answer, the big goofy grin he shoots her way sometimes that she loves so very much.
She smiles back and kisses the tip of his nose. He pulls her even tighter against his chest, and as her head rests there, she notes that his heart is racing; he must have really been nervous, like there was somehow any chance she'd say no. She presses a kiss to the skin over his heart, then teases, trying to keep the mood light, "So, when do we start?"
Instead of "how about right now?" like she'd kind of thought she'd hear, she gets an answer she wasn't expecting…but really should have been, since she's married to a doctor in his first year of residency.
Taichi takes a deep breath, and for a second, Chihaya thinks she can literally hear the gears in his head turning. "Well, first we'll have to start tracking your cycles."
Chihaya rolls her eyes, but her smile is still fond.
Chihaya stares down at the little stick in her hand, the two lines looking back at her, bold and bright and pink.
She smiles a little.
A lot is going to change.
"Chihaya," Taichi calls, "Are you almost ready?"
It's really not like her to spend a lot of time in the bathroom getting ready, she knows, especially when it's just for a karuta tournament—a situation in which makeup or presentable hair isn't necessary. He's probably worried, or maybe just slightly annoyed that they're running a little late now, but Chihaya doesn't know that she can move quite yet. She's leaning over the sink, hands resting on the countertop. She swallows hard, looks up at herself in the mirror. She's definitely a little green. That probably won't make it past Taichi. But she also can't tell him the reason behind it because, well…she hasn't even told him she's pregnant.
When she and Taichi started trying to have a baby three months ago, they'd discussed the fact that Chihaya will have to take a break from karuta (Taichi insisted that he will, too, but Chihaya figured that only one of them should take a step back, if they could help it; at that, Taichi had just sighed and decided it was a conversation for another time).
She's known all along, too, that she'll have to take time off, of course. But she only found out she was pregnant three weeks ago, so she figures it isn't time quite yet. Maybe that was a bad call to make, because apparently this baby is hell-bent on making its mother as sick as possible. Chihaya had been fine up until a few days ago, and now she feels like she's about 10 minutes away from death.
But she knew that if she told her husband that, he'd do this thing of his—the one where he's loving and caring and her teammate—and drop out of the tournament today to stay home and take care of her. And he absolutely cannot do that when the Eastern Qualifiers are coming up so quickly. He doesn't have time. And besides, she's fine.
She's fine.
She thinks belatedly that maybe they should have waited until the important matches of the season were over to start trying.
"Chihaya?" he calls again.
"Uh, yeah, just a second!"
She splashes cold water on her face, hoping to bring some red back to her cheeks, and heads out of the bathroom. Before Taichi can get a good look at her, she kisses him quickly, then dodges him to go get her jacket and bag. "Sorry to make you wait."
"It's fine. Are you okay?"
One glance in the little mirror by their front door tells her that the cold water didn't help, so she grabs a scarf and wraps it around her neck, figuring she can hide the lower half of her face in it and blame it on the autumn chill.
"I'm great. Ready?"
"Yeah," he says, and he sounds a bit hesitant, but follows her out the door anyway.
Focus. Focus.
But it's hard to do that when her stomach is churning in a way that she thinks is purely unnecessary for such a small baby to cause, and when she's consequently swallowing down bile to keep herself from throwing up all over the playing field.
For a minute, she actually thinks about forfeiting, and it's only the first match of the day.
But she knows damn well she can't do that, not when she's been so devoted her entire life, never once forfeiting a match aside from the time she was unconscious and Taichi did it for her. And especially not when Inokumia had played in the Queen match pregnant and made it through, putting up her best fight until the end. Chihaya has to hold herself to these high standards.
But she also feels her husband's intense stare, and she has a feeling he's watching her more than he's actually watching the game.
Out of all the times he could have gotten a bye, why now?
She sits up straighter, takes a few deep breaths like Sakurazawa-sensei taught her to do all the way back in high school.
It helps, and she's able to take the next card, then the next.
In the end, she wins by three. Not her best, but certainly not her worst, either, and for that she has to be grateful, she supposes.
She counts the cards, excuses herself from the room and heads to the administration table on unsteady legs.
"Chihaya Mashima, by three cards," she forces out, slaps the deck down on the table, then stumbles away to one of the resting rooms, the worker's "congratulations" barely registering in her mind.
She slumps her back against the wall, sliding down until she's sitting on the tatami in the corner, her knees pulled up to her chest. She rests her forehead on them, closes her eyes, and takes deep breaths. The feeling that she's going to vomit doesn't fade, though…at least, not until she feels a familiar hand on her shoulder.
She gasps in surprise and looks up, meeting eyes with a clearly very worried Taichi crouching over her.
"What's going on?" he asks gently. "Are you okay?"
Chihaya nods, then immediately puts a hand over her mouth, swallowing hard again. "I'm fine," she mumbles. "Just feeling a little off."
Taichi's frown deepens, and he moves a hand to her forehead. "You don't feel feverish. Do you have any other symptoms?"
She can't help but smile a little at his "doctor voice" making an appearance. She cups his cheek in her hand, then kisses him, slow and sweet. He's going to be such a good dad.
"I'm not sick," she promises. "Just a weird day, I guess."
"Chihaya…don't try to lie to me. You looked so pale out there that I was worried you might pass out."
Her willpower is depleting rapidly at this point, along with her ability to keep her stomach's unhappiness at bay. She coughs.
Taichi quickly hands over the water bottle he's been carrying around. "Small sips."
She complies, staring at the floor the whole time so she doesn't have to maintain eye contact; he'll completely see through her if he gets a good look at her eyes.
Really, Chihaya knows she should tell him…she truly should have told him three weeks ago when she found out. But she wanted him to be able to focus. She knew he'd drop out of the tournament the second he found out, and she loves him for that—for his kind and gentle heart—but this means a lot to him. He truly wants to go for the Meijin title, and has since she and Arata won back in their senior year of high school. This is his last chance to play in a tournament before the Eastern Qualifiers this year.
"Chihaya," Taichi says. He glances around the room to make sure it's still empty, then settles himself down next to her, pulling her sideways into his lap. The sudden motion makes her a little woozy, but she manages to ignore it and leans into his touch, even nuzzling into his chest a bit. He chuckles at that and kisses the top of her head, but she can tell he's still nervous.
"Please," he says quietly. "Please tell me what's going on."
Chihaya finally looks up at him, and her heart breaks at what she sees in his eyes—concern, so clear that it could almost appear to be pure fear; and an intense, deep red love. She has to at least come up with a way to convince him she's not dying (because she's really not, of course).
But very quickly, she realizes the jig is up. At this point, if she says anything that's not the truth, he'll recognize it immediately. He knows her so well it's honestly scary sometimes.
"First, I'm okay. I promise, Taichi—I'm fine. So you don't have to worry. Um, I…didn't want to tell you this until after the tournament today," she starts slowly. "It's important for you to concentrate, and this is the last tournament before the qualifiers, so it's extra important today!"
That was a lot of words to force out past her nausea, so she pauses to take another sip of water. Except, she gets distracted looking at Taichi as she drinks—he's still looking slightly distraught, but mostly just extremely confused now—and it ends up being a far bigger gulp than intended. She splutters. Taichi takes the water bottle and rubs her back.
"Babe, easy."
"S-sorry. Uh, anyway…Taichi, I…"
She trails off, and he just stares at her expectantly, eyes slightly narrowed and lips drawn into a tight line.
She knows he won't be mad. Knows for a fact that he won't have anything but a positive reaction. They've been talking about this, trying for this. But still, it's a little scary somehow.
"I'm pregnant," she whispers finally.
Taichi's entire body stiffens, aside from his arms, which go slack where they'd previously been wrapped protectively around her waist. His eyes widen, cheeks flush a bit.
"...What?"
That's…not what she had been expecting.
"Huh?" she asks back.
"What did you just say?"
"Um, I—that I'm pregnant?" she squeaks, this whole interaction making her truly question everything.
But then all of a sudden, as if someone flipped a light switch to manipulate him, his face breaks out into a huge smile. Then, he covers his eyes with his forearm and sniffles. "Oh my god," he chokes out, a sob quickly following it. "I love you."
She smiles, her own eyes starting to well up with tears, too. "I love you, Taichi."
He uncovers his eyes, opting to throw his arms around her again instead. He holds her close, and they cry together, each of them just clinging to the other tightly. Chihaya never thought she could love Taichi more than she already did, but this…seeing him like this, her heart swells even more than usual, somehow.
The bubble they're wrapped in is warm and calm, the two of them the only people in the world.
Until one of the workers speaks from the hallway.
"Matches will start in five minutes! Please come to the registration table to receive your opponent assignments if you haven't already!"
Chihaya sits up straight.
"Taichi, you have to go!"
He looks at her like she's absolutely crazy. She might as well have actually grown a second head, with the way he's staring her down.
"What?" he blurts.
"The match is starting!"
"Chihaya, you're insane," he says, laughing a little, as if he can't believe they're really having this conversation. He wipes the last of the tears from his eyes. "I'm not leaving you."
"Yes, you are!" she insists, then climbs off of him to make her point. Because of how quickly she'd moved, she immediately has to clamp a hand over her mouth again, but that's the least of her concerns at the moment.
"Chihaya," he says firmly, following her to his feet. "You're on the verge of throwing up, and you just told me you're pregnant. I'm not leaving you to go play a game of karuta!"
"It's not just a game of karuta—it's the last tournament before the qualifiers."
"You think I'm going to the qualifiers this year after you just gave me the biggest news of our lives?!" he asks, his voice going up what Chihaya swears must be a full octave with the stress of the situation.
"Of course I do!"
"Chi—"
"Three minutes! Please come receive your assignments."
Taichi sighs and runs a hand over his face. Some things are losing battles with her, she knows he's realized. "I'll go, but only if you forfeit."
Normally, she'd argue further about that, but at the moment, him going is the most important thing. And she's starting to feel even worse, too. "Yes, okay."
He shakes his head, then starts toward the door. "Drink a little more water, then forfeit. Do you hear me? Forfeit."
"Yes, Taichi, I promise. Then I'll come watch. You're going to kill it! I love you."
"I love you too," he mutters, a response that's completely automatic at this point in their relationship, even when they're bickering like now (and she knows it's true, even when she's driving him crazy). Halfway to the door, he looks over his shoulder at her and shakes his head again before turning forward and actually leaving the room.
Chihaya does as she was told—water, then forfeit—then stands in the hallway for a minute as all the players shuffle into the tatami room. Several give her odd looks because she makes no move toward the room herself, but she just smiles and bows her head politely.
Then, once the doors close behind all of them, she makes a beeline to the restroom.
Taichi Mashima kneels on the tatami during the memorization period, staring into space in the general direction of the cards and questioning every life decision he's ever made.
How did he get here?
How did he get to the point where he's 25 and still playing karuta, first of all? Secondly, and most importantly at the moment, how did he end up with such an insane wife?
He doesn't regret marrying Chihaya for a second, is madly and deeply in love with her, but what the hell?
This crazy woman expects that she can drop a bombshell on him, then just send him off with the expectation that he'll just play a match like normal?
And of course it has to be a match against…
"Where's your wife? Lose and head home early?" Sudo asks from his spot across their playing field.
Taichi snaps his head up, already on edge enough without Sudo's jab. "You and I both know she won her last match."
"Hmmm," Sudo hums, looking around dramatically. "Well I don't see her on the tatami. Shame she couldn't even stay to cheer you on. Not that it'll do much."
Taichi can't remember another time he's ever wanted to punch someone so badly.
He clicks his tongue and forces himself to concentrate on the cards.
Memorize. Memorize. Memorize, damn it.
It's literally the only thing he has natural talent for, and now he can't do it?
It's hard to memorize the position of 50 cards when you just got told your wife is carrying your child, though.
Taichi finds he can't think of anything but little hands gripping his finger, Chihaya holding a newborn close to her chest; then how, later on, there will be little feet against wooden floorboards, babbling baby talk.
It makes his heart warm to the point where he thinks he might cry again, but it also means that when the 15 minute memorization period is up, he only truly knows the position of his cards…and he only knows those because he put them down for himself in a familiar layout.
He loses the first card to Sudo, then the next, and the next.
A quick glance toward the audience reveals that Chihaya is there now, leaning against the back wall of the room and watching him with wide eyes.
Crap. She's going to be sad if he loses.
He takes a deep breath and does a practice swing to let out his pent up emotions. He hits the tatami with his palm so hard that he notices the competitor next to him actually flinches a bit. Normally he'd apologize, but today he's not in the right state of mind to. In front of him, Sudo just snorts out a short, smug laugh. That only makes Taichi more frustrated.
He sits back on his heels and takes a good look at the playing field, but again…
This time, all he sees is toys spread out across their living room, a toddler with Chihaya's big hazelnut-colored eyes learning to ride a tricycle, Chihaya and himself pressing kisses to tiny cheeks.
God damn it, Chihaya.
He leans forward again in preparation for the next card, which he also loses. He clicks his tongue, but the frustration at losing another card is quickly replaced with a new kind of frustration.
Chihaya is going to be an amazing mom, but he knows she doesn't know anything about pregnancy. Has she been taking her vitamins? Has she found an obstetrician? There are certain things she can't eat now (his mind runs in circles trying to remember if he's seen her with any of these foods lately). These are important things. He's a doctor; he's done the research. He knows other doctors to refer her to. He could have helped.
How long has she known, and how long has she been feeling sick? He could have been helping her this whole time; going to the store to get her medicine, making sure she didn't overexert herself, holding her hair back for her if she threw up, would have even just been able to cuddle her and tell her how much he loves her and how excited he was.
He grinds his teeth. Surely Chihaya has noticed that he's off his game, but he doesn't even care at this point.
"What, did you two lovebirds fight?" Sudo asks. God, Taichi wants to punch his lights out, just haul back and sock him right in the jaw. "What a shame," Sudo adds when Taichi doesn't answer. "Saw you two go back to the resting room and then you came back looking like a mess."
"We didn't fight," Taichi hisses back. Normally he'd ignore Sudo because this is just the way he's always been, and Taichi is used to it. But he can't take it today, and that only eggs Sudo on.
Taichi manages to take two cards, which of course makes Sudo buckle down harder.
"Don't be afraid to admit it, Mashima. All couples fight, even the ones who are so in love it's sickening."
Alright. Two can play this game.
"Just bitter you're still single?" Taichi shoots back. "Or maybe you have a thing for Chihaya? Hoping we break up?"
Sudo scoffs. "As if. That's Wataya's job."
Taichi faults.
He loses by 10 cards. He wants to hit himself as well as Sudo now.
He walks straight past Chihaya out into the hallway, then to the resting room they'd talked in earlier. He stretches one arm out, leaning it against the wall in front of him, and lowers his head. He takes deep breaths, trying to settle the adrenaline that's tormenting his nervous system.
After a few seconds, there's a voice from the doorway. "Taichi?" Chihaya says gently. "Are you okay?"
Taichi nods a bit, even though it's probably painfully obvious that he's really not. But he doesn't want her to think he's mad at her, because he's truly not. He never could be. He's just overwhelmed with quite a few different emotions.
"How long have you known?"
"Huh? O-oh, uh…three weeks."
"Three weeks," he repeats slowly. "So you're probably…about nine or so weeks along. Have you been taking vitamins?"
"Of course, Taichi! I'm not that careless."
"What about making a doctor's appointment?"
"Ah, I was waiting until you knew to do that," she admits sheepishly.
He has thoughts about that one, but bites his tongue.
"Have you been sick the whole time?"
"No, just for the past few days. Today's the worst it's been." Right on cue, as if to prove her point, she clears her throat like she's trying to hold back a fresh wave of nausea. That snaps Taichi out of it, and he walks over to her.
"Sit down, please," he says.
"Okay," she agrees, then does as he asked.
"Do you feel nauseous again?"
"A little," she admits sheepishly.
He hates to see her hurt, especially when there's really nothing he can do to fix it.
He kneels next to her, takes one of her hands in both of his. "I love you," he whispers. "So much. Thank you for this; choosing to be with me, choosing to have my baby." He's getting choked up, his voice becoming increasingly more watery as he continues. "I'm so excited to do this with you."
Taichi has his head tilted down, so he can't see her face, but he hears her take an unsteady breath above him and knows she's about to cry, too. "Taichi, you're going to be the best dad," she whispers.
He smiles a bit at that and finally looks up at her. She's still pale. He sighs and reaches forward, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm so sorry you don't feel well."
She shrugs, offers a little smile. "It'll be worth it in the end."
"Yeah. It will." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "But Chihaya…you can't expect me to just keep going like everything's normal. Clearly that didn't work during the match. You'll have to take a step back from karuta for a bit the further along you get, as much as I know that hurts. But I'm going to take a step back with you, and you have to be okay with that."
She opens her mouth, but feeling a protest coming on, he rushes to cut her off. "That's not up for debate. The Meijin title isn't going anywhere. My wife is far more important." Then slowly, almost hesitantly, he reaches out and lays his palm flat against Chihaya's stomach. There's no bump there yet, of course, but he doesn't care—there's a life growing in there all the same. "And so is our baby," he adds.
Chihaya sighs, then puts her hand on top of his, in the center of her abdomen. "Okay," she says.
Taichi nods, glad the matter is settled, then leans forward and kisses her. He never wants to stop, but eventually breathing becomes necessary…and people are starting to flood into the room, as well.
"Gee, look who made up," Sudo says as he comes in, voice dripping with sarcasm. Taichi bites back a sigh. As much as this is annoying, Sudo has always been part of karuta, and Taichi is actually going to miss him a bit when he's taking time off.
"Made up…?" Chihaya asks, looking back and forth between Sudo and her husband.
Taichi just rolls his eyes. "Sudo was trying to throw me off during the match by insisting you and I fought earlier."
"Oh," Chihaya says, then smiles at Sudo in a way that would appear innocent to anyone who doesn't know her as well as Taichi does; she's about to try and get under Sudo's skin. "We didn't fight. Actually, I just told Taichi we're having a baby."
Sudo's face contorts into a scowl. "There's going to be another karuta-obsessed Mashima running around soon? Jesus Christ."
He moves farther into the room without another word, and Chihaya sticks her tongue out at his back. Taichi laughs, kisses her forehead. "You're a menace," he teases.
"I try," she banters back, then leans forward, resting her forehead on Taichi's shoulder. She takes a deep breath, then says in a strained voice, "I really don't feel well. Now that we've both lost, can we go home?"
"Of course." He rubs a hand up and down her spine. "Let's get you home and into bed so I can cuddle you." He can't see her smile, but he just knows she is.
"Come get opponent assignments!" a worker calls from the hall. The room empties as people make their way to the registration table. Sudo is the last one out.
"Mashima, Ayase," he says. Chihaya picks her head up, and they both turn in his direction. "Congrats."
"...Thanks, man," Taichi says, and he means it. Meanwhile, Chihaya just blinks a few times and can't seem to get any words out.
When Sudo's finally gone and they hear the doors to the competition room slide closed, Taichi and Chihaya look at each other and burst out laughing.
"What was that?" Taichi asks.
"I don't like nice Sudo. He's scaryyy," Chihaya fake-whines, voice giggly.
Taichi lets out a few last chuckles and leans his forehead against Chihaya's. "Okay," he says once they've both settled down. "Let's go home. I want to hold you and talk about baby stuff."
Chihaya smiles. "You're really excited."
He stands and extends a hand to her, helping her to her feet. "The only other time I've ever been anywhere near this happy was when you confessed to me back in high school."
She smiles, presses a kiss to his cheek. "You're such a sap."
"You're the one tearing up," he points out, grinning.
"It's hormones," she insists, trying to wipe at her eyes discreetly.
"Uh-huh."
She grumbles good-naturedly and laces her fingers together with his. "Alright. Home?"
"Home."
At home, Chihaya shows Taichi the way she'd originally planned on telling him: a present of a cheesy t-shirt reading "world's best dad."
Taichi laughs at the sheer sappiness of it, recalling the pink polka dotted t-shirt she gave him before the Taichi Cup and calling her the queen of cheesy shirts.
But then he promptly cries tears of joy again, his head buried against Chihaya's chest.
"It's true," she tells him, running her fingers through his hair. "It's true, Taichi."