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I hear the keys turning nervously inside the lock, she rushes into my hotel room with her dress resting on her forearm, still covered by the protective laundry bag.
“They promised me it would be ready this morning, not that late. I'm so sorry, Barb. I'll be quick, I swear” she apologizes, mortified, as if the delay were hers.
I smile at her as I rummage inside the suitcase “Don't worry. It's not your fault. The bathroom is free. There is still enough time”
She grabs her makeup bag and, before slamming the door behind her she turns to me “How do you manage to stay so calm today? Your big night?”
“Because my best friend is with me”
She blushes, shaking her head: “Anyway, I'm sorry Gerald couldn't come”
“Me too” I lie “But, again, I am not alone. But if you stay on the threshold of that door much longer then we will be really late"
I hear the water from the shower running, I try to get into my dress. What I chose with her, or rather, what she chose for me. A long bodycon dress that ends in a mermaid gown. To show off my shoulders and collarbones, she claimed it had to be off-shoulder. All red “Because it is perfect for your beautiful skin color” she told me.
I hear the bathroom door open just a little, and a green eye peeps out of the crack "I am almost done!" she alerts me then gasps upon seeing me “My God, Barb. You are stunning!”
I iron the dress nervously with my hands: “Do you think? Isn't that a bit too much?"
“Hon, it's perfect for you, your curves, and tonight's event. You have to shine, more than anyone else"
It's early in the evening.
She's already wearing her dress, a black ball gown, halter strapped. The best shape to highlight her breasts.
She puts on her makeup and brushes her long red hair. She looks at her reflection in the mirror, through the door, not entirely convinced of her appearance.
And then she asks me: "Do I look alright?" as if my opinion was the most important thing.
And I say: "Yes, you look wonderful tonight"
Her reflection smiles at me "I don't want to make you look bad"
“You could never”
We take our respective handbags and we go to the party.
Throughout the taxi journey, we remain silent. We pay the driver and get off a few meters from the White House. Other beautifully dressed guests are getting out of the cars.
I swallow with my heart in my throat. She can somehow sense my anxiety.
She stands in front of me and places her hands on my shoulders.
“It doesn't matter how the evening goes because you, Barbara Howard, are My National Teacher of the Year, no” she corrects herself “of ALL YEARS” she concludes by giving me a hug.
I hold her tight, I wish I could tell her what it means to me to have her by my side, but the words stop in my throat.
I am only able to answer “Thank you, Melissa”
She then extends her arm to me and I intertwine mine with it as we walk toward the gate. A long red carpet makes its way to the main entrance of the White House.
Photographers and guests parade.
I feel like everyone turns to see this beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
I squeezed closer to her.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel alright?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight"
I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes and the wonder of it all.
It's that…you just don't realize how much I love you…
For all these things, another life I'll have to wait. It would have been perfect if only God had wanted it.
Inside the building, we find our colleagues. Janine was already excited with a handkerchief in hand. Jacob also takes me by the arm. Gregory leads the way “I've already asked where our table is. We're not very far from the stage." Ava walks up to me, pushing Melissa away, and with the phone in hand she says, “Hey, y’all. I'm live in Washington with one of the National Teacher of the Year finalists. You heard me right! Miss Howard belongs to Abbott! MY school! Envious?"
“You don't own the school, Ava” Mel tries to intervene
Annoyed Ava pushes the phone away from our faces “Whatever…This will significantly increase my followers and the superintendent won't be able to kick me out. Ok, now I'm going to check out the competition” she flips her hair and looks around for the other finalists walking briskly.
We sit down at our table, Gregory and Jacob adjusting chairs for Janine, Melissa, and me.
The evening begins with music and continues with other awards and performances.
I try to eat, but every now and then agitation envelops me and I respond to it with a sip of white wine. She, who by now knows all my strengths and weaknesses, she, who can read behind my smiles, squeezes my hand on the table comforting me. She doesn't need to talk. We don't need to talk to each other.
I watch the stage. I feel her gaze on me. I lean slightly towards her, and without looking at her, I continue to observe the show "Do I have something on my dress?"
"Absolutely no. You look wonderful and I am so proud of you” she replies with utmost naturalness and sincerity.
Janine starts to fidget “It's time. The last award”
“Oh my God, know that I will scream. If they call your name, I'll scream,” Jacob exclaims.
“This goes livestream” Ava turns the camera on her phone towards the presenters.
“And here we are at what perhaps, indeed certainly, is the most eagerly awaited award of the evening: Teacher of the Year. This year's five finalists are such exceptional and special people that it was really very difficult for the committee to choose the winner. As every year we look for a person who has:
- The ability to inspire children from all backgrounds and abilities
- The respect of colleagues, students, and parents
- Activities in the community
- The ability to fulfill the duties of the award”
Jacob softly says “Barbara, you are all of that and more”
“Thank you, sweetie”
The presenter continues "We remind you that in addition to the cash prize, the National Teacher of The Year spends a year away from his, her, their teaching duties to serve as a spokesman and advocate for the teaching profession"
A year away, I was so distracted by the evening that I forgot about that part. At those words, which somehow come as a death sentence, I turn to Melissa.
Her eyes are watery.
“Mel…”
“I know”
“For this latest award, I invite the First Lady to the stage and she will open the envelope with the winner's name on it”
We all get tense.
The First Lady climbs the few steps, thanks the presenter and the audience: “I'm very excited and I won't get lost in useless words. I just want to thank all the teachers and principals not only of the schools present here but of all the schools in our area for the immense work they are doing to build the future of the new generations. Very well…and the title for National Teacher of the Year goes to…” she nervously opens the envelope and smiles “Barbara Howard from Willard R. Abbott Elementary School of Philadelphia”
Jacob and Ava jump up screaming. Janine starts crying. Gregory immediately stands to help me up. I still haven't figured out what happened. I don't recognize the name that has just been enunciated, I don't see the winner getting up from the neighboring tables.
Melissa, in tears, takes my shoulders and lifts me up "Honey, you won!"
“What?”
“You won, love, you are the Teacher of the Year”
I look around, and everyone claps at me. Gregory takes my arm and approaches me on the staircase.
I go on stage, I'm one meter from the First Lady. She reaches out to shake my hand and then hugs me “Congrats, Miss Howard”. A valet gives me the coveted prize and shows me the microphone.
I explore around with my eyes, all those people in silence waiting for something from me, a word, a gesture. My heart is racing.
I look towards my table, and I focus on her who has her hands crossed on her chest, proud. I focus on her who smiles and nods as if giving me permission to speak.
“Thank you. I…thank you, so much. I can't believe it” I stare at the award “This is not mine, this award is for Abbott. There is teamwork behind this award. I have to dedicate it to you” I continue looking at my working family “For my colleagues, for my students, past, present, and future. For those who still believe that it is from education behind the desks that we will be able to create a better future. We are not just teachers, we are admin. We are social workers. We are therapists. We are second parents. Sometimes, we're even first"
Janine smiles behind the emotion, she sure remembers these words of mine.
“In particular, I have to thank who has been by my side, even through adversity, during many school battles and for most of my teaching career: Melissa Schemmenti. Please” my throat closes up, and a sob of sadness interrupts my speech “Don't give away my chair in the staff room to anyone while I'm away”
She wipes her eyes as I read her lips "I could never"
“And, finally, to my kids, my students: don't you ever, ever give up on you because I will NEVER give up on you”
The entire audience stands to applaud. The emotion is too strong for me to keep talking. "Thank you" I finish and get off the stage.
My colleagues compete to give me hugs and congratulations. I feel in a whirlwind of emotions “This is such a perfect day and I'm glad I am spending it with you, guys”
The evening continues with an after-party. Melissa holds my hand and I hold hers. I'm afraid to let her go as if I were to leave for my year as a spokesman that same evening. Is she feeling the same way? Oh, God, maybe I shouldn't have won this award.
It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head. The alcohol. We take a cab.
“Rest your head upon my shoulder, hon,” she tells me softly.
Her scent envelops me and without realizing it I fall asleep along the way.
She kisses my head to wake me up. It's so soulful.
We enter my room. She wants to help me to bed before going to her room.
I wish I could tell you that I've dreamed of this night, that now that you're here I want to hold you and touch you and taste you and make you want no one but me, but then, while she's about to pick her things I say: "My darling, you are wonderful tonight"
She stops and turns to me.
She comes over and looks me right in the eyes. She places her hands on my hips.
“Could I hold you close beside me?”
I smile at her “Could I hold you for all time?”