Work Text:
The door to the flat opened wide as Arthur finally entered his home after a long day. Bediver was in the doorway, typing on his phone the latest instructions he had just received.
"And what shall I send to Mr. Tiberius?" He asked in a tired voice.
Arthur turned towards him, removing his jacket with a weary gesture, and did not hide his annoyance at hearing the name of his main competitor.
"God damn it, to hell with him!"
"Very well..." although Bediver was going to use a much more polite formulation to tell Lucius Tiberius that they were not interested in his offer.
Arthur stepped into his room when he noticed a woman in the living room, holding a pile of blankets in her arms. He was undoing his tie when he recognised Siduri and his eyebrows furrowed. The woman turned to him, looking a little disconcerted to be surprised like this, but she greeted him politely, being careful not to disturb the sleeping child.
"Mr. Pendragon..."
"Siduri?" Arthur looked around, noticing his wife's absence. "Where is Gilgamesh?"
He was asking the question... but he already knew the answer...
"I'm sorry, sir, madam is out..." The woman was ashamed at the thought of why she was out and Arthur did not hide his disappointment.
He approached the woman and held out his arms for her to give him the still tiny child. The infant fidgeted slightly at the change in position, but regained his composure in his father's arms.
"You can go home."
"Sir, are you sure?" Siduri asks.
"Monsieur, vous êtes sûr ?" demande Siduri.
Bediver and Siduri exchanged a glance, then nodded before leaving the flat.
Arthur stood for a moment with his son in his arms, rocking him gently with a slight smile on his face. His little blonde hair peeked out from the blanket and Arthur stroked it before touching his swollen little cheek... but his father couldn't hide a sad expression. "So, Ur-Nungal, where's Mummy?"
-
The night was not far from over when GIlgamesh finally returned home.
A slim, very casual-looking woman wandered into the flat, her hair a mess, her make-up smeared and her clothes not quite holding together. Her walk was clearly drunk and limp. But she didn't seem to mind, and moved slowly forward, throwing her things on the sofa and already heading for the bedroom.
But when she spotted a figure in the chair, she took a moment before smiling stupidly at the sight of the man in her life.
"Isn't that my husband? Were you waiting for me?"
Arthur watched her in silence and it was clear that he did not really appreciate what he was seeing and he did not hide it. He was still holding his still sleeping son in the crook of his arm.
"You come home late..."
At this, Gilgamesh shrugged, finding the thought unnecessary. "Enkidu is a good source of distraction." And the woman already moved to leave the room.
Arthur got up from his seat to approach her. When Gilgamesh saw her son in her husband's arms, she did not hold back an expression of disgust, twisting her lip as if Arthur was presenting her with something filthy.
"Gilgamesh, Siduri is not our nursemaid..."
"She does what I tell her to do." The woman retorted as if Arthur had no business challenging her decisions, but her voice was shaky from the alcohol and a little louder than normal.
"You have new responsibilities now," Arthur added in a softer voice so as not to start an argument.
"I did the right thing, don't pretend I didn't. I'm not an unconscious..." Clearly annoyed.
Arthur's eyes crinkled, feeling the child move a little in his arms.
"Yet, for the first time since we met, you come home drunk..."
He had obviously touched a nerve. Gilgamesh was a drinker, but more for pleasure and to really lose herself in it. Seeing her in this state was alarming.
"What? Just because we have a child now, I have to deprive myself and stop having fun? I have to be like you? Adapt and be perfect? What kind of thinking is that? I'm certainly not going to be a housewife waiting for you in a pink apron in the kitchen, Arthur!"
Although this upset Arthur, Gilgamesh misused her voice, which echoed throughout the flat and woke Ur-Nungal, who began to cry.
The two adults paused to look down at the restless child in his blanket and the tension disappeared almost immediately. The father tried to calm him down by rocking him under the annoyed gaze of Gilgamesh who did not appreciate being interrupted by this thing.
She began to take off her jacket, which she threw on the floor, and approached.
"Come on, give, I'll show you how I take care of our son, he's hungry isn't he?" She said this almost bitterly.
It was not difficult for Arthur to guess that she intended to breastfeed him. He looked at her in horror as she approached... but her husband grabbed her wrist firmly and held her away.
"With your milk full of alcohol...?" Coldly he pushed her away gently and it was sadly easy in her condition. He keeps Ur Nungal at a distance from her. "Go digest in our room..."
Gilgamesh glared at him, scornful and watching Arthur as if he were a piece of trash. But the indescribable look in her husband's eyes reminded her of the man's impenetrable mental wall and he would not be easily affected by Gilgamesh's rejection or anger.
The woman clicked her tongue and shuffled out of the room.
-
…
-
The awakening was a bit stiff, but Gilgamesh managed to wake up without too much trouble. With a foggy mind, she sat up in bed with difficulty and could hardly stand the sight of the sun through the curtains. Her eyes squinted as she turned to get out of bed and saw her reflection in the mirror, suddenly looking miserable as a woman with her hair more than disheveled, her makeup smeared on her skin and still wearing the clothes she wore the night before.
She took a moment to remember what happened that night and frantically rubbed her face and moaned weakly in annoyance.
Somehow she managed to wash herself, but did not manage to take care of her long, tangled hair, which she left in its deplorable state.
Ignoring the time of day, she timidly left the room, wondering who was at home to look after Ur-Nungal while she slept. But mostly hoping that her son was not in the flat. She went into the kitchen to get some refreshments only to catch her husband cooking something. This froze her in the doorway, convinced that he wasn't there.
"You-You're not working?" She asked weakly, noticing her voice hoarse from a prolonged sleep.
The voice, however, caught Arthur's attention and he turned to see her.
Inexpressive, he gave her only a moment's attention before resuming what he was doing. "I've decided to be off duty."
Most likely because of what had happened that night. Gilgamesh didn't remember everything... but she didn't like to remember her behaviour. Her gaze fell on the bassinet on the worktop. The woman pursed her lips and moved closer to see her son sleeping peacefully, his hands hidden in mittens to prevent him from scratching himself in the face, having already had a few scratches here and there.
But Arthur put a coffee down in front of her, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Are you hungry?"
Gilgamesh watched as Arthur leaned over the counter towards her, staring into his eyes that she couldn't bear, wondering indefinitely what he was thinking. She looked down at the cup and he had presented a plate of dry biscuits that he had prepared earlier. They were still warm.
"... Yes."
She sat down in a chair and Arthur let her have lunch in silence.
There was a heavy silence and Gilgamesh took it as a punishment, but she did not argue, she just ate and watched Arthur cleaning the kitchen. Arthur gave her some more food, but the hangover and nausea did not allow her to eat much.
Ur-Nungal began to move, making slight noises.
Gilgamesh froze for a moment, hoping that he would calm down immediately so that she could leave the room first. She looked at the bassinet out of the corner of her eye, but her hopes were dashed when the child demanded attention. Her mother sat back in the chair, biting her lip, and watched Ur's little arms move and whine.
Gilgamesh did not like it.
She glanced at Arthur, who didn't seem to decide to intervene. What a chore... Gilgamesh had better find a permanent nanny so she wouldn't have to deal with this kind of problem. But her thoughts faded when Arthur's gaze fell on her and reminded her that he was upset himself.
"What are you waiting for?" he asked coldly.
Gilgamesh frowned and stood up with a dismissive gesture.
"You just have to take care of it yourself." She said without really showing her disgust, she was already hiding her face in her messy hair and already looking to leave the room.
But somehow Arthur was already in front of her, probably because he wasn't held back by the hangover like she was, and he grabbed her wrists to force her back. "Your son needs you."
"Of course not. Get off me!"
"You're his mother, it's only right that you make sure he's everything he needs."
"He doesn't need me... You're already doing fine!" She tried to free herself, but Arthur forced her to turn around and face the bassinet on the table. He took her hands and held them in front of her, preventing her from backing away with her own body and forcing his wife to look at their crying son.
"Ur is crying, what are you going to do?"
The child had grown a little more agitated, complaining that he wasn't getting what he wanted, and Gilgamesh looked at him with a backward movement. "Let me go..."
"It's not by running away that you'll make sure he survives."
"That's what you're here for!"
"I may not be around forever."
"Don't talk nonsense, let me go!"
"Why?"
"Because!!!"
Gilgamesh struggled as best she could, but she did not want to abuse Arthur who had more strength than she did. The child was crying more and more because of the shouts, but Gilgamesh didn't care, she tried to ignore them, she tried not to respond to her instincts. She moved her body back to push Arthur back, but he slammed her against the counter.
"Why?"
Arthur had wrapped his fingers around hers and leaned over her to keep her face close to her shoulder, preventing her from straightening further from Ur-Nungal, who was not calming down.
"Because..."
Her voice slightly shaky, she closed her eyes, unable to bear the sight of her son crying, clenching her teeth and her body twitching.
"Because..."
"Why Gilgamesh?"
She took a breath, unable to breathe because of the lump in her throat. "Because... I... I don't want..."
Arthur's grip tightened, startling her a little, his face lodged in her neck and hair.
"I don't want to... I don't want to be..."
Arthur's gentleness disturbed Gilgamesh. Even though he used his strength, his coldness, his authority, he always managed to make Gilgamesh feel that he loved her and whatever she said, he would still love her...
"I'll..." The lump in her throat exploded, and her voice was louder than she would have liked. "I'm going to be a bad mother!"
Ur-Nungal was frightened by the voice and began to scream, his face red with frustration and calling for help if anything went wrong. Arthur's grip loosened immediately, a little surprised at what she had just said, but when Gilgamesh thought he could run away, he caught her in his arms and forced her to turn around to face him. His wife was not one to cry over such a trifle, but that did not prevent her from expressing sadness. His large hand came to rest on her face and he stroked her tenderly with a face more welcoming than his usual cold air. Gilgamesh closed his eyes at her touch.
"You won't be."
"I will..."
"No... you will just be a mother, not good, not bad, just a mother. Your mother was cruel, but you won't be like her, you will be you, Ur's mother and you will look after him until he doesn't need us anymore."
"I'm going to hurt him..."
"You will do everything to avoid it."
"I won't be there when he needs me..."
"You will do your best to help him."
Gilgamesh opened her mouth to give another example, but when she opened her eyes again and looked into Arthur's eyes she saw the same worries, for being a parent was just as frightening as being a parent's child. He smiled at her in such a tender way that she said nothing more, her husband took this as a way of giving in to her obstinacy and raised his face to kiss her.
Ur-Nungal's cries brought them back to reality and Arthur released her, "I'll get the milk."
Gilgamesh watched him go, as if he was abandoning her to her problems, but that was simply because she didn't know how she should handle the situation. She turned back to Ur, still restless in his bassinet. She pursed her lips, fiddling with her hands nervously, and reached out to hug her son.
The baby was already getting heavy as he grew. She laid him against her shoulder, trying to rock him as awkwardly as possible, and went to sit in the living room where the sofa was more comfortable so she could give him a bottle.
She looked longingly at her son for the next few seconds. His face was distorted from crying, but he cried less loudly, finding it comforting to be in arms he knew... even though Gilgamesh had held him few times since he was born.
The time passed quickly enough, as Arthur quickly joined them and sat down beside her, giving her the warm bottle. He invited her to sit against him and she snuggled up against his shoulder while putting Ur in a better position to feed her.
Arthur kissed the top of Gilgamesh's head and held her close as he looked at them both. The two good hours of his life, cradled against him.
"I'm going to be awful, I know I'm going to be awful..."
Silent, Arthur was deep in thought as Ur-Nungal gulped down the milk hungrily, relieved that it was quiet around him again.
"In that case I'll make you a deal."
She looked up at him, showing that she was paying attention, even if she seemed unconvinced that he could offer anything solid and worthwhile to their situation.
"If one of us is out of line... the other must warn it."
"How?"
"A signal... a gesture... a word... whatever, something that warns the other to stop and pick himself up. Something between us... something secret that will protect our child and ourselves... What do you say?"
Gilgamesh thought for a moment, looking down. She watched the void as Ur-Nungal held her hands to continue drinking. Then she nodded, as if this seemed like a good compromise.
"Okay..."
Arthur smiled and laid his head against hers. "We'll think about that later..."
"Arthur..."
She purses her lips, swallowing her thick saliva with difficulty.
"I'm sorry..."
"Me too."