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They really had planned to go straight from Suzie’s house to the coordinates she had given them, not wanting to waste time. That was before they had been driving barely half of the way, and Jonathan almost steered the van off the road, hadn’t Will and Mike literally yelled at him. Argyle slept through the whole ordeal, still high as a kite from smoking with Suzie’s sister.
When Jonathan hit the brakes — Argyle still out cold — Will was the one to reluctantly suggest that they maybe should take a break. Neither Mike nor Jonathan liked the idea.
Will felt tense, when Mike turned to him so quickly Will feared whiplash, his displeasure clear on his face.
“ What do you mean? We can’t stop! ” He had said in a rushed voice, looking shocked at even the mention of it. “ We’re almost there! ”
As if they both hadn’t literally just seen Jonathan narrowly avoiding crashing the vehicle.
Jonathan looked back at him, shaking his head.
“ I can drive, Will, I’m not that tired ”.
As if he didn’t have bags dark enough to look sick. Will had been able to doze off in the backseat, even if it hadn’t been comfortable, but he knew Jonathan hadn’t, not even when in the passenger seat.
Will frowned, feeling very uncomfortable with the two faces staring at him. But he had to stand his ground.
“ Then I’ll drive, because I do not feel okay with you continuing. And I definitely don’t feel okay with Argyle switching with you ”.
Jonathan blinked, but it was Mike who spoke to him.
“ You know how to drive? ”
Will pressed his lips together, and glanced at his friend. Mike’s eyes were staring right at him.
Will shrugged.
“ I mean, I’m 15, of course I can’t legally drive, but I’ve taken some lessons from Jon ”, he said.
He saw the exact moment his words registered in Mike’s brain, and he quickly turned to Jonathan.
“ Can I drive, then? ”
Jonathan did not look pleased.
“ Fat chance, Will ”, he said.
Will leaned back against the seat, ignoring Mike’s stare poking into his side.
“ Then I guess we stop for a few hours. We’re no help to El if we crash and die along the way. I refuse to risk that ”, he swallowed, feeling a bit awkward about being so assertive. “ I need to see her, but I won’t let any of you jeopardize that by being unreasonable. If taking 2-3 hours can ensure we’ll safely reach my sister, then so be it ”.
Will forced himself to keep his eyes on Jonathan, and his brother looked conflicted. He saw the moment his logic won, though, and Jonathan let out a deep sigh.
“ Two hours, and that’s it. I’ll be able to drive the rest if I get two hours ”.
Will nodded, relieved. He really would’ve taken the wheel if needed. Jonathan driving another meter was out of question.
About Mike though…
Will swallowed, and then glanced at the dark-haired boy. He did not look happy, but he also didn’t look at Will anymore, so he figured Mike had had to accept Will’s suggestion as the most reasonable.
It was weird, though, the closer they got to El, the further away Mike started to feel again. But maybe that was just the way things were supposed to be.
Barely twenty minutes later, Jonathan had started snoring softly in the front. It caused some of the tension in Will’s body to seep out, but still, he wasn’t confident he would be able to get much sleep. His mind wouldn’t shut up. And even with the seat leaned back, it wasn't very comfortable in the first place.
Will let out a sigh, and turned over on his side, back against the car door.
Unable to stop himself, his eyes immediately went to Mike’s face. Only to find himself staring right into his eyes.
He almost flinched.
Mike didn’t seem bothered by it though, just watching him. Will was glad it was nighttime. The streetlights weren’t strong enough to show Mike the flush immediately creeping over his face.
For a few seconds, they just stared at each other, and then Mike spoke, voice low.
“You really love her, don’t you?”
Will blinked, not having expected that.
“Yeah…?” He just responded, not sure what Mike was aiming for with the question.
The streetlights offered enough for Will to see the look flashing over Mike’s face, though, although it was too quick for him to fully grasp.
Mike nodded slowly.
“You didn’t like her before”, he mumbled.
Those words hit something inside of him.
“No, I never disliked her, Mike, I just… didn’t know her”.
You were jealous , his brain offered. Seeing her hurt because you felt she had taken your place.
But he couldn’t say that, he’d never say that. It hadn't even been his place to begin with, not really. Maybe he had just been holding hers the whole time.
“I love her, Mike. How could I not love her? She’s so wonderful and kind, and strong . She has so much love to give, I’d be blind if I couldn’t see it”.
He swallowed, averting his eyes. Yeah, it was hard to forgive himself for practically calling her a stupid girl , but he tried not to think about it. It wasn’t as if he could apologise to her for saying it, she didn’t know, and thinking about that memory hurt too much in general. For what that fight in the rain had led to.
Mike was silent for a while, before he mumbled out something low, something resembling “ why is it so easy for you to say it? ”
Will furrowed his brows, and looked at Mike again.
“What?” He asked.
Mike frowned, and then shook his head.
“Nothing”, he said.
Will didn’t know how to push, so he didn’t.
He watched Mike nod to himself, and Will figured that was it, that Mike would turn over and go to sleep, and Will would go back to whatever he became whenever Mike remembered El was the most important person to him. He understood it, though, of course he did. El was El, after all, he was just… Will.
But Mike didn’t turn over, he instead spoke.
“I forgot your birthday”.
Will’s heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t help the small sound that slipped through his mouth, before he could snap it shut.
He just stared at Mike, as he furrowed his brows.
“I’m sorry, Will”.
Will swallowed.
“It’s fine, Mike. It wasn’t as if you came to Lenora to celebrate my birthday. El lives with me”.
He didn’t mention that no one else had remembered either. Not even his mother, who greeted him the same way as always, and then just said she’d leave the next day. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t a kid anymore. What did it matter if no one, except Mike now, had made the connection?
Mike shook his head, and Will stared at him with wide eyes.
“No, I… Will. I don’t want you to feel like you don’t matter to me”, Mike said, and Will’s heartbeats picked up in his chest. “It’s like I said… it’s weird, to accept you’re not around, back home, and then seeing you again, well, I... it’s been weird. It’s weird, coming here and seeing how you’ve changed. El, too, but mostly you. You’re taller, and your voice, and you…”
Will swallowed. For some reason, he hadn’t thought he was important enough for Mike to notice that.
Mike spoke again.
“I didn’t mean to ignore you, y’kno”, Mike said. “Before, I mean. I tried to call several times, but the line was always busy”.
Will’s heart skipped a beat.
“You… did?” His voice sounded out of breath, but he didn't know.
He had really thought Mike didn’t care enough to keep in touch. And some part of him, maybe it was pride, hadn’t wanted to give in.
Mike nodded, looking flustered.
“I tried to write too, but… the letters always turned out weird, and in the end it was just easier not to send them. I’m sorry”.
Will wondered if Mike could tell how much his words were affecting him.
“I didn’t know, I…” He swallowed. “I’m sorry, too”.
His heart wouldn’t stop pounding, but his mouth opened on his own.
“You never lost me, Mike. You never could. You matter so much to me, and I wouldn’t…” He swallowed, stopping himself before he could sound too transparent. “Yours, and El’s , happiness matters so much to me. And we’ll see her soon”.
The soft look immediately changed at the mention of El, almost freezing. It had Will furrow his brows, unsure of how he had managed to so dramatically change the air.
Mike averted his gaze.
“Well”, he said, something conflicted flickering over his face. “I don’t think El needs me anymore, not really”.
Will’s furrow deepened.
“Why would you say that?” He asked.
Because, genuinely, how could she not? Didn’t Mike know how important and vital he was?
Mike pursued his lips, sighing.
“I think… I mean, she’s special. And I’m just some dumb nerd. It’s like she’s Superman, and I’m Lois Lane, except Lois Lane is an award-winning journalist, and I’m just… Mike Wheeler. It was just dumb luck that we ended up like this”.
Just Mike Wheeler . As if Mike hadn’t been his comfort and almost saviour for years. But then again, what did it matter how Will viewed him? He didn’t matter. Not like that.
He swallowed, and made a decision.
“Mike”, he said, and Mike finally looked at him. “She does need you”.
Mike’s eyes widened, and he tilted his head.
Will swallowed.
“Can I… show you something?”
Mike nodded, eyes still wide.
Will let out a breath, and then sat up and leaned forward in his seat, reaching for his backpack. Biting his lip, he then pulled out the painting. It was slightly crumpled, not only from them fleeing the house, but also from him pressing his fingers into it when Mike gave him the cold shoulder at the airport.
He leaned back, and then handed it to Mike, who was staring at it with wide eyes. Will could tell he immediately recognised it, but he didn’t know how to read the look on his face.
Mike took it from his hand, and then slowly opened it up. Will’s heart was frantically beating, as he stared at Mike’s face. It was wide-eyed, and then, when he finally held it before him, a big grin split his face.
Relief filled Will's every bone, and he couldn’t help but smile himself, as Mike turned to him.
“Did you paint this?” He sounded almost in disbelief, breathless.
Will nodded, glancing at the canvas depicting him, Mike, Dustin and Lucas, as their childhood aliases, fighting a monster.
He met Mike’s eyes, and did what he had decided to do.
“El commissioned me to paint it”.
Mike blinked, smile faltering a bit, but Will didn’t let it deter him.
He leaned forward.
“You see your coat of arms here? It’s a heart. That’s how… she sees you. You’re the heart, not only of the party, but to… her”.
He did hear Mike’s breath hitch slightly when his arm touched his skin, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He just pointed to the heart on the canvas.
He took a breath, and pulled back.
“El, she… she’s different”, he swallowed, and tried again. “And sometimes when you’re different, you feel like a mistake”.
Will glanced down at his hands in his lap, and then forced himself to look at Mike’s face. Mike’s eyes were so wide, and Will’s heart broke in his chest. The way
Mike was looking at him at that moment was everything he had ever wanted, but he knew it wasn’t for him.
He swallowed.
“But you… you don’t make her feel like that. You make her feel like she’s better for it. Better for being different”.
It was hard to breathe, with Mike’s eyes on him. But he had to keep going. For them.
“And although you’re scared of losing her, she… you’d never be able to lose her. She’s scared of losing you, too. Because she’ll always need you, Mike. Always. You’re so much more than what you think. You’re everything ”.
He snapped his mouth shut, terrified he had been too transparent, but Mike still stared at him with those wide eyes, as if it really was El in front of him, saying these words.
Mike was really looking at him as if he was her, and it hurt. It hurt so much.
He watched Mike bite into his lip, before he took a shallow breath.
“… Yeah?” He just said.
Will wondered if Mike could see the wetness in his eyes.
“Yeah”, he simply echoed, and the beautiful smile that split out on Mike’s face, almost shining in the darkness, made him feel like he had just been stabbed in the heart. With that same sword Mike was wielding in the painting. But he couldn’t do more than just smile back, because Mike was everything, and he couldn’t let him think otherwise.
Mike’s smile stayed in place, as he once more looked at the painting in his hands. It ached.
Will turned away from Mike, and it all hit him. What he had done. He had put his heart out, and Mike didn’t even know. Mike didn’t know that he had actually spoken from his own heart.
He leaned his head against the seat, and then he finally cried. It hurt too much, but he knew this was what needed to be done. He could never have a place next to Mike, except as the supportive best friend. He could never tell him the unfiltered truth, because El always came first. She came first to both of them. He could never jeopardize her happiness, just because he wasn’t normal.
He closed his eyes, futilely willing his tears to stop, and then eventually drifted off to sleep, not even drying his cheeks.
When Will came to, he felt weirdly well-rested. He was warm, and it felt like he was wrapped in a blanket. The car was moving, and it just made him want to be lulled back to sleep again. He adjusted his position, pushing back into the weight that was grounding him, shivering slightly over the warmth blown onto his neck.
The goosebumps it caused weren't anything like the ones he had experienced in Hawkins. It felt pleasant. Safe .
And then he blinked.
The weight against his body was an arm over his midsection, and another body pressing up against his backside. Breathing was tickling his neck. The car was running, so Jonathan must’ve woken up and started the last trek to wherever El was, without waking them up.
That meant Mike had cuddled him in his sleep.
Will froze.
Yes, Mike was hugging him, as Jonathan and Argyle were speaking in the front of the car, and Will had confessed his deepest secret to Mike just prior, veiling it as being El’s words.
And worse yet, Mike was rustling in his sleep, slowly waking up, too. Will didn’t know what to do, so he just snapped his eyes shut, forcing his breathing to even out again. Would Mike be able to feel the pounding of his heart?
He noticed the moment Mike woke up, and the moment he realised their position. He expected for Mike to freeze, push him away, berate him, but he did not expect Mike to just pause. Pause, and then with a sigh, burrow his nose in his nape.
Will could barely suppress the gasp. It had been so long since he felt Mike's touch, and it had never been like this. Never this intimate.
Mike stayed like that for a few seconds, just hugging him and breathing him in , and then he pulled back, extracting himself from the embrace.
Will forced himself to still pretend he wasn’t awake, as he heard the rustling of Mike sitting up.
Mike’s voice spoke to the men in the front seat.
“Where are we?”
Jonathan’s voice came through, sounding harder than Will had ever heard it.
“One hour”.
Jonathan had never spoken to him that way, and he sounded like he wanted nothing more than to turn in his seat and deck Mike . Will hadn’t even known Jonathan could sound anything but soft and careful. At least not to Mike.
Mike responded.
“Why didn’t you wake us up then? You must’ve been driving for a few hours already”.
Jonathan let out a snort.
“Now, listen here, Mike—“
Will decided that he had stop the pretense, because Jonathan sounded pissed .
He felt like a bad actor, as he turned over on his back with a small hum, and blinked. He tried to not meet Mike’s eyes as the boy turned to him, and rubbed at his face. His eyes felt bleary, seeing as he had fallen asleep with tears in his eyes. He hoped it wasn't too visible in the light.
He met Jonathan’s eyes in the mirror, and Jonathan looked almost abashed.
“Where are we?” He asked, acting like he hadn’t just heard Jonathan tell Mike the same thing.
His voice sounded awful. He really hoped his complexion looked better.
Jonathan turned to the gravel road again, and it looked very deserted.
“We’re very close”, he said, and yeah. His voice sounded nothing like it had when he spoke to Mike.
Will nodded, and when Jonathan once more met his eyes in the mirror, the look on his face had him freeze. Jonathan knew . The way he looked at him said it all.
Will couldn’t breathe, until Jonathan finally turned forward again.
Argyle started saying something, but Will let it fade out into background noise, and he turned to watch his hands in his lap.
He had too many emotions within him. The talk with Mike last night, the things he had said in his thinly veiled confession, Mike hugging him, and Jonathan’s behaviour… he felt out of his depth.
He swallowed, and turned to look out of the window. He could feel Mike’s eyes on his neck, but he didn’t know how to face him right now. In the sunlight, he could fully see that he had messed up with the painting, but he didn’t know how to fix that.
Then again, it didn’t matter, and it didn’t need to be a problem. El was the priority.
And when they found her, and she and Mike found each other again, it wouldn’t be relevant. Why would his words matter that much?
Mike pressing his nose against his neck wouldn't matter, because it couldn't.
Will stayed like that for the rest of the drive.
Seeing El there, yet again strong and confident, caused all sorts of emotions to flicker through his head. They had shaved her long, brown hair, the hair he knew she was so proud of. It broke his heart, but it didn’t overpower the pure relief he felt. In that moment, Will realised he had felt some fear over the possibility that maybe they wouldn’t find her, or that it would've been too late.
He watched as Mike hurried to her side, and he saw the look of pure happiness on El’s face as she saw him. He couldn’t do more than just watch, as the two pressed their foreheads against each other's. They looked so good together.
And then, they both turned to him, and Will felt like the time stopped. He felt Mike's eyes burning his skin, but he kept his eyes on El, and couldn’t do more than just smile at her. When she pulled away from Mike, hurrying to his side, he had already started crying.
Hugging her felt like home. He would do anything for her. Will wouldn’t let anyone, especially not himself, ever stand in the way of her happiness.
If that meant sacrificing his own happiness, and letting Mike — what, use him as a substitute for El in his sleep? — then so be it.