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A soft candle glow etched faint shadows into the bookshelves that lined the walls. A secret, tucked away nook that two lovers had made their own. It was their quiet reprieve from the harsh world that was outside.
Limbs entangled, faces burrowed deep into the others neck, the lovers slept. Since defeating The Collector and setting the world right, the compounding stressors they had faced followed them like angry spirits. Comfortable evenings such as theirs were necessary. The quiet moments together staved off the deepest, angriest parts of their minds. But for how long would it work?
Half of the pair stirred, hazel eyes blinking open quickly to take in her surroundings. A temporary bout of anxiety washing away as she registered where she was. She was still safe, in her partner's arms, nestled deep in the Bonesborough library. Luz breathed out a sigh of relief, slowly untangling herself to sit up.
Amity was next to stir, her hands sleepily reaching out for her other half, and when she found it difficult to reach her, she awoke fully. Luz hadn’t seemed to notice Amity was awake, her mind running a mile a minute, her eyes trained on something that wasn’t there.
She was lost in degrading thought, trying to push down the memories of things she had been through. Every time she pushed one below the surface, it bobbed back up like a buoy. It felt as though everytime she woke up, her mind forced her to run through it all, preparing her for a threat that didn’t exist anymore. Even though she was with the woman she loved, in a place no one could find them, she constantly felt under threat.
Luz dropped her head into her hands, her fingers slowly threading through curly locks in an attempt to self-soothe. Amity shuffled over on her knees, wrapping her arms around the dark haired girl.
“Wanna talk about it?” Pale hands ran down the sides of Luz’s arms, ending at her palms. Luz glanced back at her girlfriend with glossy, tear filled eyes.
“..You’ve already heard it all before. It’s just the usual.. anxieties, I guess.” Luz let her head fall back, landing softly onto Amity’s shoulder. Tears rolled slowly down both of her cheeks, leaving damp streaks she didn’t have the energy to wipe away. Amity wasn’t entirely content with Luz’s response, but she decided not to budge.
The pair sat in silence as Luz tried to regain a semblance of control. She prepared to speak, an attempt to reassure her girlfriend, but a sob ripped from her chest instead.
New tears began streaming down her face as pathetic sounding whimpers and cries crawled from her body. She pulled her hands away from Amity’s to hold herself, curling forward slightly.
“I’m s-sorry.. I’m sorry that I can’t be strong anymore. I don’t know why, but I feel so weak…” Luz continued to cry, her body shaking from the emotional turmoil she was being pulled through. Emotional outbursts had become more and more common for her. Luz’s friends and family had taken notice, but they didn’t know how to approach. What if they offended Luz? She had been through so much, the last thing she needed was family hounding her. Plus, she was smart and resourceful. They believed that if Luz needed help, she’d ask for it.
Amity sat stunned, her hands idle in the air where Luz left them as she grappled with what to do. She could barely handle her own breakdowns, so how was she to possibly help her girlfriend?
“No no- it’s alright, come here..” She placed a hand on Luz’s back, and the human girl followed the arm to the person it was attached to. She clutched onto Amity’s shirt, desperate to have something to ground her. She buried her face into her partner's shoulder, tears and snot staining the fabric.
“You’re not weak, Luz. You’re hurting.”
Sobs repeatedly wracked Luz’s small, scarred body, drawing breath from her that she didn’t have. Sputtered coughs began to dot the spaces between each tearful cry, only mounting onto her anxieties. Her lover rocked her slowly, whispering love and reassurance, occasionally peppering in “Breathe, deep breaths-.”
-
Several agonizing minutes passed before Luz finally calmed down. When she was finally able to speak again, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. She wiped away the last remaining tears as she pulled back from her girlfriend's thoroughly ruined shirt.
“Jeez haha, talk about embarrassing... and man am I gross.” A faux smile plastered on her face as she tenderly wiped at her sore face. The snot made her spine crawl as she wiped it away. She just wanted to distance herself from the metaphorical mud she had just been dragged through. Maybe Amity would just play along with it?
“Luz.” The human winced at her own name. Definitely no playing along. A concerned tone was the last thing she wanted. She wanted a funny quip, anything, but she knew she wasn’t weaseling out of this without a long-form conversation.