Chapter 1: James
Chapter Text
James: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.
Chapter 2: Lily
Chapter Text
Lily: What the fuck.
Lily: ESPN is showing the 2003 national jump rope championship.
Lily: Who the hell watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.
Chapter 3: Sirius, Peter
Chapter Text
Sirius: You’re giving me a sticker?
Peter: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
Sirius: I’m not a preschooler.
Peter: Fine, I’ll take it back-
Sirius: I earned this, back off!
Chapter 4: Remus
Chapter Text
Remus: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
The Squad: Awwww-
Remus: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
The Squad: Oh.
Chapter 5: Gilbert, Bash
Chapter Text
Gilbert: Can I ask a dumb question?
Bash: Better than anyone I know.
Chapter 6: Jaron, Imogen, Roden
Chapter Text
Jaron: I’m telling you, my team is competent.
Imogen, rushing in: Jaron! Roden tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!
Chapter 7: Roden
Chapter Text
Roden: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.
Chapter 8: Mott
Chapter Text
Mott: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Jaron.
Chapter 9: Tobias, Jaron
Chapter Text
Tobias: Jaron, you need to react when people cry!
Jaron: I did. I rolled my eyes.
Chapter 10: Gilbert, Jerry, Bash, Matthew
Chapter Text
Gilbert: Matthew, we're hungry!
Jerry: Matthew! What's for dinner?
Bash: We're hungry, Matthew!
Matthew, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*
Chapter 11: Bill, Arthur
Chapter Text
Bill: Watcha got there..?
Arthur: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.
Chapter 12: Percy, Oliver
Chapter Text
Percy: When life gives you lemons, what do you do?
Oliver: Make lemonade!
Percy: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with its own shit.
Chapter 13: Bruno
Chapter Text
Bruno: May luck (and this picture of Dolores eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.
Chapter 14: Camilo, Julieta, Alma
Chapter Text
Camilo: Go ahead, Julieta. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.
Alma: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.
Chapter 15: Bruno, Julieta
Chapter Text
Bruno: I need a long word.
Julieta: T-rex but the long one.
Chapter 16: Mirabel, Antonio
Chapter Text
Mirabel: How long do you think it'll take?
Antonio: I don’t know, three or four.
Mirabel: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?
Antonio: Yeah, maybe five.
Mirabel: Five what?!
Chapter 17: Paul, Brian, George
Chapter Text
Paul: Some people are like slinkies.
Brian: What?
Paul: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Brian:
Brian: Please don't push George down the stairs.
Paul, pushing George down the stairs: Too late.
Chapter 18: Brian, Ringo
Chapter Text
Brian: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?
Ringo, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.
Chapter 19: John, George
Chapter Text
John: Punch me in the face.
George: ...Punch you?
John: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me?
George: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.
Chapter 20: Ringo, Paul
Chapter Text
Ringo: I need to dye my hair.
Paul: ...
Ringo: Or get another tattoo.
Paul: ...
Ringo: Or a new piercing.
Paul: Why?
Ringo: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.
Chapter 21: John, George, Paul, Brian
Chapter Text
John: Good night.
George: Sleep tight.
Paul: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself.
Brian: Great, now George's crying.
Chapter 22: Ringo, George, John
Chapter Text
Ringo: We need to open this locked door. George, give me your credit card.
George: Here.
Ringo, pocketing it: Thanks. John, break down the door.
Chapter 23: Ringo, Brian
Chapter Text
Ringo, texting Brian: *sends a voice message*
Brian, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?
Ringo: No, don’t worry, just listen later.
*later*
Brian: *presses play*
Ringo's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-
Chapter 24: Carlos, Manolo
Chapter Text
Carlos walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Manolo, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Manolo, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
Chapter 25: General Posada, Luis, Manolo, Maria, Carmen
Chapter Text
General Posada: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Luis, Manolo, Maria, and Carmen: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!
Chapter 26: Luis
Chapter Text
Luis: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.
Chapter 27: Joaquin, Manolo
Chapter Text
Joaquin: *casually taking four stairs at a time*
Manolo, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-
Chapter 28: Lily, Sirius
Chapter Text
Lily: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin Lily.
Sirius: But you're Lily.
Lily: Kinda stuck. It’s a long story.
Chapter 29: Alice, Lily
Chapter Text
Alice: "I lost a bet."
Alice: The second-most ominous phrase in existence.
Lily: What's the first?
Alice: "Let's make a bet."
Chapter 30: James, Remus
Chapter Text
James: I failed my safety training course today.
Remus: Why, what happened?
James: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Remus: And?
James: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.
Chapter 31: Pandora, Regulus
Chapter Text
Pandora: Didn't you die?!
Regulus: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.
Chapter 32: Sirius, Regulus
Chapter Text
Sirius, throwing a pokeball at Regulus: Regulus, I choose you!
Regulus, not looking up from their book and catching it: You need an Ultra ball to catch this Legendary Pokémon.
Chapter 33: Victoire, Molly
Chapter Text
Victoire: You disgust me.
Molly: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.
Chapter 34: Albus, Rose, Scorpius
Chapter Text
Albus: Why are you late?
Rose: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.
Scorpius: Overslept?
Rose: Overslept.
Chapter 35: Albus
Chapter Text
Albus: I would do anything for money.
*later*
Albus, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!
Chapter 36: Dominique, James, Louis
Chapter Text
*playing twister*
Dominique: Right hand red.
James: *ends up on top of Louis*
Louis: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Dominique: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.
Chapter 37: Matthew, Gilbert
Chapter Text
Matthew: What are you doing here?
Gilbert: I could ask you the same question.
Matthew: I live here. This is my house.
Gilbert: I should probably ask you a different question.
Chapter 38: Beatrice II, Lemony, Violet, Klaus, Sunny
Chapter Text
Beatrice II: Uh, Lemony? Klaus is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof.
Lemony: What?
Violet: I think she meant, Klaus is drowning.
Lemony: WHAT?!
*Meanwhile*
Klaus: *is drowning*
Sunny: OH MY GOD, KLAUS! KEEP SWIMMING!
Klaus: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*
Sunny: KLAUS!
Chapter 39: Sunny, Olaf, Violet, Klaus
Chapter Text
Sunny: We call that a traumatic experience.
Sunny, turning to Olaf: Not a "bruh moment".
Sunny, turning to Violet: Not "sadge".
Sunny, turning to Klaus: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
Chapter 40: Joaquin, Manolo
Chapter Text
Joaquin, jumping out of Manolo's closet: BOO!
Manolo:
Joaquin:
Manolo:
Joaquin: *makes a sad face*
Manolo: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!
Chapter 41: Xibalba, General Posada
Chapter Text
Xibalba: How would you like to live forever?
General Posada: I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.
Chapter 42: John, Paul
Chapter Text
John: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team.
Paul: Sounds fake but ok.
Chapter 43: George, Paul
Chapter Text
George: Paul, why are you crying?
Paul: This book is so sad!!
George, picking it up: But this is my diary-
Chapter 44: Ringo, George
Chapter Text
Ringo: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!
George: Oh-? Even more humiliating than-
Ringo: We are not doing this!
Chapter 45: Felix
Chapter Text
*the TV is freaking out*
Felix: Don’t worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support.
*unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes*
Felix: Yeah, that didn’t work with my grandma either.
Chapter 46: Agustin, Pepa, Felix
Chapter Text
Agustin, to Pepa and Felix: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?!
Pepa: ...
Felix: ...
Pepa: That is such an open-ended question.
Felix: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-
Chapter 47: Camilo, Pepa
Chapter Text
Camilo: We either die free, or die trying!
Pepa: Are those the only choices?
Chapter 48: Antonio, Mirabel
Chapter Text
Antonio: You don't know anything about me!
Mirabel: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!
Chapter 49: Percy, Penelope, Oliver
Chapter Text
Percy: So when are we gonna tell them?
Penelope: Just give them a minute.
Oliver: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*
Chapter 50: Percy, George
Chapter Text
Percy: Kill me nowwwww.
George: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.
kinthemuffin on Chapter 8 Wed 08 Mar 2023 02:28AM UTC
Comment Actions