Work Text:
Secrets are difficult to keep at the best of times.
You are highly aware of this, and it is this you think of as you turn the hilt of a lightsaber in your hand. You have taken off your gloves and can feel the designs etched into the cool metal. Gold shapes cut across the round cylinder, interspersed with bronze bracing. You smile a little, running your fingertips over the delicate-looking emitter. It’s anything but delicate, in reality.
You curl your fingers around the hilt and bring the saber into position. Your stance naturally widens as you balance lightly on your toes. Even though you don't plan to use the lightsaber, just the feel of it in your hand is enough to make you do these things by reflex.
You hesitate for a moment, and then turn it on. The blade springs to life in one smooth motion, the soft light reflecting in the room around yours. It's yellow, warm and beautiful.
Like stardust.
You can’t feel the blade; it’s practically weightless. You make a few small motions with it, careful to keep them controlled lest you do something Ren-like, and admire the path the blade makes as it cuts through the air. There is no trail of sparks, nor a sputtering emitted like the lightsaber Ren uses. This lightsaber is stable, and it seems as though it becomes an extension of yourself as you hold it. But as Ren’s saber becomes an extension of his anger, yours becomes an extension of your grace.
You are not force-sensitive, and hadn’t even intended to acquire a lightsaber. But– you think, turning the blade off and sitting down at your desk– you definitely can appreciate the beauty of this one.
You believe that it suits you.
You lay the hilt on the desk. The gentle arcs and designs contrast with the shining black surface. You have kept it hidden in your quarters until lately. You have begun tucking it in the folds of your greatcoat, if you're wearing it. Power is shifting, and you no longer trust that your blaster, which is always holstered at your side, or even your knife, will be enough.
You know how to use the saber, and while you aren't sure if you could actually best anyone force-sensitive, you don't think it a useless weapon.
Nobody knows of it, and you wish to keep it that way.
It’s your saber now, and yours alone.