Archive of Our Own

Kyrie stood at the door to Melody’s home. He had been trying to work up the nerve to knock for the past few minutes. Now and then he heard her laugh and it destroyed all his courage to do anything. They always told him to just walk in, but this time it felt like he had to knock. He wasn’t just here to visit, he had something important to ask. He finally lifted his fist, but the door flew open with Melody nearly running into him.

“K-Kyrie?” she said. He stared at her for a lot longer than he should. She didn’t say anything either. Finally she made a motion with her hand…and he felt stupid. He stumbled back so she could actually walk out of her house to do whatever she was going to do. “What’s up?”

“I…” he tried. He couldn’t make the words form. He knew this would change things. It might end everything, but it was something she had to see… He had to take her with him on one of his trips.

“Come with me? I have to do some shopping.”

Her smile sent his heart racing. Everything she did only made him want her close. She walked past him, bumping into his side. He followed her quickly, just enjoying being near her. She started to hum and he found himself reaching for her. Grabbing her hand gifted him another of her smiles.

As soon as they reached the market he knew what her humming had done. Now and then someone waved, but nothing more. As if they couldn’t make themselves come any closer. He followed her from stall to stall just listening as she bartered at times. Melody never used her voice for an unfair deal. It made him feel warm, and dread his question even more.

“So what were you standing outside my house for?” she asked. He jumped, blushing a bit as she looked over some of the fruit at one of the stalls. He looked away, staring at the fae sized goods someone sold. Maybe Nutmeg and Aisling could use some of it…

“I… wanted to ask you something,” he mumbled. She just walked past him going towards the stall he noticed. He followed along resting his head on hers and wrapping his arms around her. She let out a squeak and started to hum again. He started to look over the goods, wondering what the size changing naga and mini drider would like.

“What did you want to ask?” He reached forward, one of the small looms caught his eye. Pel said she loved this stall, the human was a friend of fae. He felt Melody move and knew she was staring up at him.

“Do you think Aisling would like this?” He pushed off the topic. He could wait. She picked up the small loom with both hands. She looked it over carefully, setting it back down.

“No idea, you could ask them. That wasn’t your question though.” 

Kyrie grimaced, but grabbed the attention of the stall owner. It took him a bit to register they were there, but once he did the sale went quickly. Kyrie slipped the loom carefully into Melody’s bag. He kept searching the wares for something else, something the naga might like. Melody freed herself and went to another stall, one selling fabrics. He followed. He felt almost like a puppy following his master.

He paused on his walk after her. The gardening stall caught his eye. Back when he’d first met Byss being stuck inside had been torture. Melody’s home has enough space for a garden kept out of sight. He walked up to the stall, once again having to spend some time getting the attention of the owner. He bought a number of seeds along with some tools. Holding the offered bag with a smile, he made his way to Melody.

“What did you get now?” she asked. She tried to look in the bag, but he just reached over and slipped the one she held out of her hands.

“I was thinking about Nutmeg. It must be rough, stuck inside a lot. She could start a garden near your house. There’s plenty of trees to hide near. A good way to go outside,” he said. Melody stared at him. A bundle of anxiety started to worm into his mind until her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug.

“That’s perfect!” He carefully wrapped his arms around her. A part of him liked not being able to surround her so completely. A bigger part preferred being able to hold her hidden from the world. “Especially when spring starts. She’ll probably love having an excuse to go out in the sun.”

Kyrie wanted this to be forever. No secrets or pasts to reveal. Just here and now. Together. She pulled away from him and went back to shopping. He didn’t pay much attention as she finished. She tried to grab one of the bags back from him, but he refused to let her. She stopped at the edge of the market. 

“So, what did you really come to ask me today?” she asked. He hesitated, but if she agreed she would need supplies. Not many, but some at least.

“I… I have to go on a trip soon. I was going to leave tomorrow,” he said. She nodded at him, he wished he could read her like she read him. She probably knew from when he showed up just why he’d arrived. He didn’t think it was being fae that made her like that, it was just part of Melody. “I… wanted to know if you’d come with me this time.”

Melody just looked at him with wide eyes. Her mouth moved, but he didn’t hear anything. It started to feel like the biggest mistake of his life. Even more so when she walked away from him. He watched her, unsure what to do. If she somehow knew just what these trips were for. He jumped when her hand grabbed his arm.

“Come on, I have more to get now. And I’ll actually need you to carry things,” she smiled as she pulled him along. The fact she was coming made his palms sweat. Just what would they be after this…

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“Does she know what this is for?” Byss asked. Kyrie grimaced and shook his head. Melody was supposed to show up any minute. “When are you telling her?”

“I.. was planning to wait until we get to my hunting grounds,” he muttered. He’d asked Pel for one of the potions Caprice used. He was going to make her hold it with whatever she brought. One tied to here, where Pel could help her calm down.

“You know the girl best.” 

Kyrie just nodded. Pel refused to be out here in case Melody asked anything. She was letting him handle all of this. Byss was too, but had his own opinions on how Kyrie was doing this. He didn’t like that Melody didn’t know what the trips were. The green haired wolf stood up straight, taking steps back to the house.

“She’s here, be careful,” he said. Byss disappeared and Kyrie was left staring down the path as the most important person to him ran towards him. He didn’t want to lose her, he didn’t want this to be how he lost her.

“Kyrie!” she called. Kyrie stepped forward to meet her, smiling as she stopped in front of him. She was breathing heavily, it made him worry. That was when he realized she didn’t bring her armor. She was wearing a simple black tunic with gray leggings. 

“Melody, why didn’t you bring your armor?” he whispered. She looked up at him as she slowly caught her breath. Her brown eyes shone in a way that made him shudder. 

“Why would I? We’re not going to a bunch of towns or anything? Besides, it would be annoying to wear it the whole time.” He knew she was right, but he didn’t want this. He didn’t want this trust placed in him. He’d told her the trips were when he didn’t wear his own, but…

“Are… are you sure you don’t want to wear it?” She stood with her hands on her hips glaring at him. That anger was terrifying in some ways. Even knowing how small she really was to him. A fire was the best comparison no matter what it came to.

“Kyrie. If I wanted my armor I would have worn it here. I don’t need it for this. Now are we going or what?” Kyrie pulled her tightly into a hug. Sometimes he wanted to just hold her with all his might and never let her go. That wasn’t something he could do… that wasn’t something he’d risk. He did take the time she hugged him tightly to slip Pel’s potion into her bag. Once he told her he’d let her know that escape was available. That she wasn’t trapped.

“Let’s go.”

He let her go and stepped back to just hold her hand tightly. He led her off into the forest towards the path he traveled. The first part of this was easy enough. He didn’t mind taking a calm trip with the love of his life. Especially while she still looked at him with the same feelings he held.

For the longest time they walked hand in hand. Another moment he wanted to freeze in time. She would talk about nothing or just hum songs. Each thing made him more terrified of what she’d do. How scared she would eventually be. Things couldn’t be happy for them forever, they both had secrets they hadn’t told. 

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After half a day they reached the first part he dreaded. Melody hadn’t had any issues which he took as a bonus. He made her sit on one of the larger rocks. Getting a pout he found adorable when he lifted her onto it. He sat on the ground staring up at her. Just enjoying her being above him, being a size he couldn’t make mistakes with.

“What are you doing?” she laughed. He just listened to her laugh for a bit.

“Just taking you in…” he said. She looked away with the smallest hint of a blush. It was rare for her to be embarrassed enough for that. It made every time more special to him.

“W-well we have plenty of time for that. Where do we go from here, the path is blocked. I don’t think much could get through here really…” He admired the way she started to study the bushes. Her brow furrowed with an intense look. Easy to think she’s upset when she’s just focused.

“I need to start taking off my armor from here… I’ll need to carry you, is that ok?” The stare she gave him turned him to glass. One word and he’d shatter. Curiosity, understanding, and a little fear burned in eyes that reminded him of tree bark. He used to hate the color until he met Melody. It felt like his heart stopped beating as he watched her.

“I was wondering when we’d reach that part. Is this when you finally explain your armor to me too?” The calm curious smile on her face made him relax. At least for now she still saw him and loved him. No matter what she’d have him willing to do anything for her, even if she left after this trip. He climbed to his feet, holding a deep breath.

“Yeah… The arms come off first.” Kyrie grabbed the armor near his left shoulder and twisted slightly. It unlocked and started to slide down his arm. He repeated the process on his right arm, slowly growing as he stared at the most amazing brown eyes. He still expected her to be terrified as he grew. All he met was a burning curiosity. The growth stopped, it left him pushing the believable boundaries of a werewolf.

“Ok so arms first with some kind of spell lock near the shoulders.” She nodded. He knew she’d make notes and remember exactly what to do if it ever mattered. She kept muttering it to herself. He couldn’t resist reaching out to cup her face. Slowly he moved to run his hand down her arm. Like this it felt natural. He wanted to stay this size with her. If he had to be bigger than her, he wished it were one where his hand didn’t encompass her. She leaned into his hand, her small fingers wrapped around part of it. “What next?”

“Next, my chest piece.” He reached up to his shoulders, slipping his fingers into a space that was small to him. He hesitated, choosing to step away from her. She looked confused, but once he undid the spell locks it was clear she understood. This was when he became truly dangerous. He hated when he first took off this piece, it made it hard to see the face he loved. As he grew he moved to sit on the ground, he didn’t want to be towering over her more than he had to.

“So the chest piece is second and it makes you taller than average for a giant.” 

Another series of nods from her. This started to feel like she was studying him. He’d probably let her if she wanted. He knew she’d never put him at risk, even if their roles were reversed. He started to relax as the tight feeling that always hung over him lessened. It wasn’t gone, but that was for later. Once he stopped growing he set the armor into place on his leg. She lit up and slid off the rock he’d set her on walking up to his leg.

“A perfect spot to make sure you don’t lose it,” she said. He smiled as she ran her hands over the spot where his now small armor pieces disappeared. She turned her focus to the chest piece he still held. “What do you do with the chest piece?”

“It fits into one of the greaves, then that one fits in the other one,” he whispered. She nodded again as she stepped back. She leaned against the rock and stared at him expectantly. He couldn’t help laughing from the serious expression. “This is it for now, the last two pieces are later. I can get us where we’re going now.”

Melody didn’t move, but he could see the change in her demeanor. He climbed to his feet, trying to be slow and gentle. She didn’t move much if at all as he did. He offered a single hand to her. It took a bit of time, he almost hoped she’d decide not to go with him the rest of the way. She wasn’t the type to do that. Her soft hands pressed into his palm as she put her life in his hand.

Kyrie curled his fingers up and pulled his hand to his chest. He tried not to crowd her. The small woman managed this a lot better than the last time. He rose to his feet and stepped over the hurdle that blocked them. She leaned into his chest and he knew she heard his heart start racing. She said nothing and it just reminded him more of why he loved her. She didn’t force him to face things without reason. If it was up to her she’d let him hide this forever…

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After walking until the sun set he finally saw the human sized cabin on a cliff. His hunting grounds had been around them for over an hour. Normally he’d stop once he entered and take his greaves off. Leave them near the edge for when he was leaving. This time, it would be like when Byss and Pel used to come with him. The huge item that hid his height used to protect the home from any of the animals. 

Once he reached it he sat with his back leaning against the cliff. Looking down he found Melody sleeping on his hand. It made him consider skipping this time. A noise from his stomach told him that wasn’t allowed. He was scared it would wake her up, but all she did was curl up against him more. He brought his other hand close, running a finger down her spine.

“Even if this is too much, I’ll be your monster whenever you need,” he whispered. She moved in her sleep, but the small woman was completely out. He couldn’t put this off forever, no matter how much he wanted to. He pushed her, getting sleepy groans that turned to those half awake eyes staring at him. “We’re here. I need to take off the rest of my armor.”

She shot up. Her curiosity would always wake her up in an instant. Carefully he pushed her towards the center of his hand. As he pulled away he could feel her fingers dig into his skin. He was lucky to feel that, he loved feeling that. He set his hand down near the cabin, she moved slowly to climb off.

“I didn’t expect a cabin like this out here,” she laughed. He leaned back so he could see her face. Slowly he leaned forward, like this his eye was level with her. Just her silhouette in the moonlight. It felt like the moon was trying to make her glow. She turned to face him, showing a big smile. He took a deep breath, he could just stay this size. It would take a lot longer… but she wouldn’t have to see everything at his full size.

“Pel insisted on it when I was younger. The first time she came along she was so upset Byss hadn’t set anything up,” he smiled at the memory. Those two saved him in a lot of ways. More than just making sure he lived.

“She was always like that. When she saw how Caprice and I lived with the fae she was livid.  She yelled at our dad for a while, then forced the others to help give us a better place to stay.” Kyrie watched her closely. She didn’t often let out information about her past. It was the first time she mentioned her father. He wanted to know more, ask so many things. There was something in how she spoke that stopped him. Melody turned away, staring towards the sky.

The two sat in silence for a little while. He watched her. She stared at something, he couldn’t tell what. Times like this it felt like she could disappear. Turn into something he’d imagined and never find her again. The moment passed as she turned to face him. She had a look he hated seeing on her. Like something had her trapped and he couldn’t save her. He would never let that happen. Melody raised her hand and grabbed her left arm, he never noticed that habit before the cave-in.

“Well, I think we’ve waited long enough. This is supposed to be when you get a break from your armor right?” He bit his lip and moved to remove the first greave. He already knew he’d sat in the perfect spot not to put her at risk. This part was practiced.

The tight feeling he ignored most of the time lessened again. He slid the chest piece into its spot on the greave. He knew how much he did need to do this. It didn’t mean he liked what would happen today… or the next few weeks. He looked at Melody, she stepped back from him. She wasn’t scared though, her fear was obvious by now.

He didn’t speak, opting to remove his other greave instead. He always found it funny when he pulled off the armor. None of the terms he used for it were quite right. The chest piece was his whole torso. The arms he usually called gauntlets. His greaves covered his entire leg. He let his mind focus on that as he finished freeing the spell locks and felt the tight feeling dissipate completely.

This time he closed his eyes. He kept his shrinking piece of armor in his hand. He had to add it to the one that was growing to his full height with him. He never liked watching this part happen. Honestly he never liked watching himself grow at all. Memories always sat in his mind of the times before Byss and Pel. A life that didn’t feel real. A deep breath settled his thoughts as he felt his growth come to a stop.

Kyrie turned towards where Melody should be before opening his eyes. Slowly he forced himself to look at where the woman had probably disappeared from. She would find the potion and run, at least if Caprice hadn’t made her take one. That didn’t happen. She was sitting on the ground staring up at him. The same way he found her when he’d wake up while they camped. Staring with wide eyes at him, looking around to search the area now and then.

“Hey,” he whispered. She actually jumped before focusing on his face. He worried, but she climbed to her feet walking to the edge of the cliff. He took the chance to fit the smaller piece of armor into the piece his current size. He lifted that one and set it behind the cabin, blocking Melody from the forest… from the danger Byss and Pel created for him.

“Still seems weird to see you like this,” she said. He was sort of surprised she didn’t ask about why he put the armor blocking her. She walked even closer to the edge of the cliff. His heart was racing imagining if she fell. He knew her issue with heights wasn’t bad in open spaces, but this seemed like where it should be the worst. She sat down, leaving her feet dangling off the edge. “More like some strange dream I’m having, even though I’ve seen you like this a few times now.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but his stomach decided to remind him why they were here. The loud grumble made him flinch, it didn’t help to see the look of shock on Melody’s face. Kyrie just grabbed his stomach. He hadn’t told her anything yet. It was his own fault waiting for so long. This trip should have been a few weeks ago, he just wanted to ask her and kept putting it off. 

“Kyrie?” she asked. He looked away, he didn’t want to face her for this. His stomach made another noise, he wasn’t getting many options. “When did you last eat?”

“...Giants eat differently,” he whispered. It wasn’t common knowledge. He knew she wouldn’t know, he bet on her not knowing. She climbed to her feet from the edge of the cliff, backing up to stare into his eyes. “Usually they eat about once a month… I eat once every few months. The spell makes it so I need to eat less often. I use less energy in a body that small. Human sized food helps a bit too.”

He forced himself to look at her. She just stared at him. He swore he could hear it as her mind started to put the pieces together. It felt like she made a point to show as her understanding reached a head. The small ‘O’ of her mouth as she realized he still had to eat for his size. The nodding as the words sunk in, making sense that he wouldn’t eat as often, giants couldn’t eat as often. He bit his lip waiting for the look of fear as she probably did math in her head to figure out time frames.

“...your trips are when you eat,” she said. There was no question in her voice. The understanding of what he’d explained without saying it. He closed his eyes, grabbing the cloth of his shirt in a tight fist. He had to tell her that she had a- “So how do you do this? What do you actually eat?”

“What!?” his voice was too loud. She flinched back from his shout. It was unbelievable, she saw how big he was and she was staying . That didn’t make any sense. “A-aren’t… don’t you want to… What…”

He stared at her. She was standing tall and meeting his eyes. There was a burning curiosity from her. He really felt like something she was just studying right now. He couldn’t bring himself to even answer. That’s when he saw it. Something as big as Byssal when a full wolf was inching around the house. He narrowed his eyes, the spells that made the creatures confident were working fine.

“Kyrie, I feel like that was a normal question. What do you-” 

Her voice stopped as his hand shot out. He caught what looked to be some kind of feline animal lunging at her. She turned around slowly, falling back as she stumbled away. He knew she’d follow his hand. Slow movements, his eyes locked on her. He waited for her head to follow after his hand. The cat-like creature in his grasp made a noise that he chose to ignore.

Once his hand was near his face he squeezed it tighter. There was a sickening crack that echoed in the silence. Then he tilted his head back and dropped the now dead animal into his mouth. He chewed the animal and swallowed before tilting his head back to face Melody. Her eyes were saucers on that small pale face. He wiped his teeth with his tongue, afraid of showing the blood he knew was there.

“S-so that’s…,” she said. There was something that looked almost like betrayal, his ability to see her improved now that he’d eaten something. His own head was a bit clearer too. She nodded to herself. “Right, makes sense you need something…”

 “No, no, no. Not that, that isn’t why… That was just a coincidence,” he sighed. Her eyes stayed wide on him. He buried his head in his hands. Seeing her looking at him like that made him feel more like a monster than normal. “I put my armor there to keep things like that from happening. If… if this is too much before we left I slipped a transport potion in your bag. Pel made it, it’ll bring you to my house. You don’t have to stay and see… this.”

Silence hung between them. Kyrie expected to look up at some point and she’d be gone. He’d go home and she’d have requested they no longer work together. The twins might even move. Honestly he’d offer to leave. He was the one who truly didn’t belong, a giant among giants that terrified his own kind.

“How do you normally catch things?” Her voice was small, but he chanced looking up at her. She’d climbed to her feet again, moving closer to his face. He still felt like a monster next to her, but the betrayal was gone. “If… if you didn’t need bait. What do you do?”

“There’s a pond over there,” he started, he lifted an arm pointing to a spot away from the cliff. Further from those he’d scare. “I wait for enough to gather, then scoop all that I can up. Towards the end I eat some fish from the lake too. Pel and Byss set a lot of spells into my territory to grow larger fruits and cause some overpopulation.”

“Your territory…” He just nodded, that was a story for another time. How a giant among giants wound up with a wolf and fairy alongside his own territory. Maybe after this he’d finally tell her his own secrets. The reasons he knew he was a monster. “So all the animals in this area are for you? No other giants or humans, elves, wolves, fae?”

He furrowed his brow, but nodded at her. She had her mind running again. He could see it. The way she started pacing. How close she went to the far edge sent his heart pounding. There were so many things she did that scared him. That made him worried she’d die and he’d fail her. The bright eyed look she gave him filled him with more fear. That look meant she’d started to plan something. He wasn’t sure he wanted to follow any of her ideas out here. It didn’t help that he could see the fidgets of her fear.

“Why are your trips so long if it’s just to eat? Do you spend time out here just to relax too?” she asked. He swore he could hear the secret in her words.

“No… I usually take the time to hunt. I still eat a lot more than a normal giant, even if it’s only once every few months,” he said. She nodded along to his words. Then stood on the edge of the cliff again. This time he brought his hand up, he was getting a fear of her at heights. “What are you doing?”

“Cover your ears, I have an idea.” 

He gave her a look, but the smile on her face kept him from arguing. It was hard when she didn’t look at him like a monster. Even after he ate something of Byssal's size, as far as she’s concerned it was bigger than him. She still smiled and kept her bright eyes. Immediately he was trusted after she thought he brought her as bait. She didn’t doubt him how he doubted himself.

Kyrie pulled his hand from in front of her and covered his ears. He watched the small woman step forward and sit down at the edge of the cliff again. Everything in him wanted to surround her with his hands, just in case. He saw her dig in her bag before pressing her hand to her face. Then he heard it, just faintly, a song. He saw her mouth moving and a song nearly reached his ears. He wanted to listen, but he fought it. Listening didn’t seem smart if she told him not to.

He jumped when something brushed his leg. He stared down at the forest floor, animals were coming to stand in front of her. They ignored him completely. Each one staring up at the half human woman singing a song. Something that didn’t carry the haunting feeling from the night he’d found her letting herself be captured. He lowered his hands slowly, getting to hear the song she sang.

It wasn’t in english, but the fae language he  couldn’t understand. Pel tried to teach him, but he just didn’t get it. The tune reached into his soul and forced him to stare at her. He felt just as awed as the multitude of animals crowding around into the small open space where they could see her. She embodied her name as the melody of the song continued. He found himself bringing his hand towards her.

The song shifted almost immediately. The calm fell away, a hint of panic or maybe fear replacing it. He brought his hand closer to her, but the song didn’t stop. Her small face turned up to him, it was like she was shouting into his soul. The song died down slowly, turning into a soft hum. He pressed his fingers against her, the sensation was different.

“It worked,” her voice still sounded like the song, “they can’t move. Won’t react. You can eat what you need.”

Kyrie opened his mouth to argue, but his stomach made another noise that shut him up. He’d try this once, see how she reacted. He wasn’t bringing her for her help. He wanted her to see what it meant for him to live. What he ate and how much he needed. That he’d always need these trips. Slowly he used his free hand to reach towards the charmed animals.

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Melody went back to singing as soon as Kyrie’s arm moved. Despite her growing fears she couldn’t stop watching. He moved the way he held her. Two fingers were pressed to her back, his thumb set in front of her. She couldn’t see over it to see ahead, just his skin. She turned her head up trying to pretend this wasn’t happening. It didn’t help, she wound up staring at his face. He wasn’t looking at her, just at the handful of animals so much bigger than her that he’d grabbed.

A new crunch broke the silence she’d barely noticed. At some point while watching him she stopped singing. She tried to start again, but seeing him eat had her voice fading. He tilted his head back like the first time, dropping a number of now dead creatures into his waiting maw. She shivered as the sound of chewing filled her ears. Melody wanted to look away, but her body wouldn’t respond.

Her mind was running through horrible things. He held her like this, he could make a mistake. She could be crushed, just another deafening crack. It wouldn’t even be as loud as the ones she’d already heard. At some point she stopped hearing noise from the giant holding her. She just saw creatures disappearing with blood starting to coat his lips.

A swallow from Kyrie broke through her stupor. It was something she’d heard before at a smaller scale. They’d eaten meals together, gone to taverns together, but this was still terrifying. His hand was finally empty, it felt like it never would be. Her body went rigid, he would take another handful of creatures… One handful wouldn’t be a full meal to anyone, let alone a giant who hadn’t eaten in months.

The fingers around her tightened. She couldn’t force herself to move as she was lifted from the edge of the cliff. The song was stronger than normal, she couldn’t predict what he’d do. She couldn’t make her eyes leave the face that still hadn’t looked at her. When he paused lifting her it felt like some miracle was about to happen. Then he moved her more, the fingers disappeared from around and she landed on her knees in front of the cabin.

Kyrie’s eyes still hadn’t faced her. She watched him lift both his hands up, away from the cabin and the cliff. An ear shattering boom played as he brought his hands together in a clap. A cacophony of noise came from far below where the animals had remained charmed. A stampede likely followed as the song was wiped away.

Silence hung over them. Her ears rang from the boom, clearing slowly. It took her some time to even realize he’d moved. No longer hovering over where she could see his face. He sat with his side facing her. He had grabbed fistfuls of hair, his knees were up with his elbows resting on them. 

“Ky-” she tried.

“You were terrified,” he whispered. She tried to find some way to argue, but he was right. She was terrified. There was at least a minute where she genuinely thought she was in danger. “I… I didn’t ask you to come with me to help Melody.”

“...I know,” she whispered. It wasn’t obvious if he heard her. She saw those fingers three times her height curling tighter in the locks of blue. He didn’t look the same when he grew. She’d never seen a giant, but every story said they had human hair colors. This color wasn’t human.

“Use the potion, Mel. Go home.” She flinched. After all this time, he’d never sounded so… alone. All she could do was stare at him, she wasn’t going to leave. It terrified her, but this wasn’t going to end like this. She could terrify him too, she would eventually. She grabbed her left arm, digging her nails into her skin.

“No.” The arm hiding his face from her fell away. He had tear tracks on his cheeks, but they weren’t falling now. He glared at her, she couldn’t remember ever seeing true anger in his eyes. Even that night he scared off the black market dealers. It took all her courage not to climb to her feet and try to run away.

“Mel this isn’t a joke!” He threw his arms forward. Her eyes went wide enough it looked like Kyrie was shaking. Those huge arms moved to rest on his knees again. His eyes burned with something she couldn’t quite read. The anger began to fade, but the burning emotion only grew brighter. “...It’s… it’s ok to be terrified and leave. You aren’t the first one like that…”

“What?” Her voice was a whisper. Despite telling herself he was safe, her fear grew once he said that. What happened to the first one? She tightened her grip on her arm. A voice in her head was screaming to run, to use what she’s hidden to get away. It made her grip loosen, that voice couldn’t be trusted.

“Byss and Pel had to leave too. The first time I was this big it was too much. They haven’t come with me since.” Her hands fell into her lap. “I can’t imagine what you all see…” He looked away, resting his head on his arms. “If this doesn’t change what you see when I’m your size then nothing has to change.”

She could see his hands tighten into fists. It reminded her of the promises she and Caprice used to make. That it would be ok, things would work out. The only lies they could tell to make the situations they’d been in feel better. Nothing had to change, but everything would. He’d always assume she was scared and she’d… she didn’t know what she’d be.

Kyrie moved so his shadow was completely covering her. In the dim light that had taken over since the moon rose it was terrifying. She stared up at him, trying hard to see his eyes. His hand landed next to her making her jump. She tried not to look at it, not to wonder if it was the same hand that had killed so much so easily. She was covered in darkness that was created entirely by the giant, and it was almost worse than everything else.

“It’s late… if you won’t go home at least go inside,” he whispered. The words were commanding. Usually she’d argue, but for once she silently agreed. A nod was all she could manage, but he saw, somehow he saw. He leaned away letting the moon coat her skin again. It felt like a spell broke as she climbed to her feet and entered the cabin.

She was to use the new surroundings to ignore the giant outside. The cabin itself was normal. Two doors likely leading to a bathroom and bedroom. The lack of dust shocked her, if no one had been here even magic to keep it clean would be waning..

She wandered around the room, avoiding the windows as she moved. Outside she could hear as Kyrie shifted to lie on the ground. Guilt bit at her heart that she got to rest in a bed while he was stuck out on the ground. She felt worse that she didn’t want to risk being near him right now. Hearing and seeing him eat was one thing, but that anger he’d shown for only an instant was another. With a heavy heart she fell into a chair at the table, tonight she wouldn’t get any sleep.

She looked over the table, marks covered where she sat. They weren’t claw marks, it almost made her think of writing.  She ran her fingers over it, slowly working out the word it spelled. She gasped as she realized what was written, finding the same word over and over. Kyrie…

“So he learned to write here,” she whispered. It never occurred to her the struggles he faced living as a human. As far as she knew giants often didn’t read or write, there wasn’t a need to. Her smile grew when she found the spot the word’s imprint started to lose depth. It only widened when she found Pelago and Byssal written even more faintly. “Names were first then.”

Kyrie brought her to somewhere important. A place where he’d grown up, learning more things that made him different. Pel would push for so many things. From the little she’d spoken with Byssal he would be more practical. The giant outside might have scared her, but it was still Kyrie… and she still loved him.

She looked around differently now, seeing the cabin with new eyes. Small marks were all over, claws from Byssal and a little too much strength from Kyrie. Pelago had probably insisted they leave each one, fae loved the physical aspects of memory. It was said to hold a little bit of magic in them, no matter who it was that left them. On this pass she noticed a bright white paper resting on the corner of the counter. It was clearly out of sight of the window.

Melody grabbed the paper, shocked to find To my Wingless Song on it. She held it close to her chest before returning to the table. She sat in front of the faint names and stared at it. She wanted to read it, but seeing it almost felt wrong. Pelago had either left it here knowing Kyrie would invite her, or it was something from long ago. Running her fingers over the faint names again, she accepted her curiosity would push her to read it. A curse of the fae in her. She unfolded the paper.

I know you would have hidden the potion he slipped in your bag. Melody blushed after reading the first line. Pelago always saw through her, and could see through her illusions. It had been a simple one where Kyrie saw her following while she pulled out the addition he’d added to her bag. There are others hidden in the cabinets. Despite the overgrown heart’s best attempts one or both of us have been there each time he takes his trips. We couldn’t leave him to deal with it on his own. Byssal was the worst about it, terrified for the pup he raised somehow hurting himself. 

Melody smiled, it was so normal for Pelago to sell others out. The woman worried more than anyone else. He will tell you when he’s ready what makes him so quick to assume you cannot move past your fear. Leave if you want to, although I can already guess you’ll be too stubborn to do that. Trust your feelings on this, and ignore the fool of a giant.

The letter ended abruptly, something normal for Pelago. The line of thoughts that led her to the letter returned. The giant alone outside wasn’t a monster. She knew that.

Kyrie spent so much time protecting her. He moved slowly to accommodate her fears. Each time they received an assignment he let her run ahead to try and talk someone dangerous down. No matter how much something about him scared her, it was still Kyrie. The knight she fell in love with and who loved her even knowing she had her secrets. She wasn’t going to let things end how he wanted tonight.

Kyrie was always so prepared for her to be afraid and run away. As if it were only a matter of time. That wasn’t in her nature, she didn’t run from things. Not after everything she’d worked for to be where she was now. She bit her lip and stared at her bag. She had a blanket and everything she’d need. She’d expected to be outside on the ground near him.  A loud noise came from outside, she couldn’t tell if it was Kyrie’s stomach or his voice. She shivered, that was still terrifying.

Shaking off the feeling of terror she stared out the window. With a nod to herself, she grabbed her bag and made her way outside again. The letter was left forgotten on the table. She marched up to the edge of the cliff, he’d shifted enough to lie down. His stomach was in clearing she’d called the animals into earlier. Another bite of her lip before staring towards where his face was. She could do this, she could handle her giant and the meals he had to eat.

“Kyrie!” she yelled. It was clear he jumped at her voice, but he didn’t move. She narrowed her eyes at him, she wouldn’t give up that easily. Melody stepped back from the cliff with her heart racing. This was terrifying. Her bag was clutched with her left hand, there was no getting out of this. “If you don’t stop me I’m jumping off this cliff to land on you!”

There was a small span of time she thought he wouldn’t doubt her. He knew she wouldn’t do anything too stupid and this was certainly in the range of too stupid. He didn’t move, didn’t give any sign of hearing her this time. It took her a few deep breaths and a bit of forced back panic to set her foot forward. She had to run and jump at the end. It was the only way she’d actually do this. It wasn’t like his stomach would be hard, neither was exactly the ideal knight if you looked at their bodies.

“I warned you,” she said. 

With all her might she started to run. Her heart was pounding, a voice in her head calling her a fool. She yelled in her mind to quiet the voice as she neared the edge. This was certainly in the realm of too stupid. She noticed just as she pushed herself from the ground he’d leaned up to look at her. The anger in those eyes was completely gone, the other emotion too. All that was left was fear.

It took all her control not to scream as she entered a free fall. Her heart was pounding and she swore she’d never recover. Tears played behind her eyes as she tried to hold them back. This was probably the most idiotic idea she ever had. A giant that could miss her and roll over leaving her falling to the ground. Her nails pierced the fabric of her bag, but her skin was safe. Just like she wanted. Her fear continued to grow until she landed on his stomach like she planned. A soft landing that only knocked the wind out of her thankfully.

“Melody?” Kyrie’s voice rumbled through her. She’d never actually been on him like this. It was a little more than overwhelming, but she had a goal. A few deep breaths before she finally pushed herself to her feet. She wobbled a bit, falling to her knees again. “I… I can grab you if you want.”

Melody heavily considered it, but there was a point she had to make. So she pushed herself to her feet and started to walk up his stomach towards his chest. She stumbled a few more times, of course the noise she heard from below didn’t help her progress either. He was still hungry, probably by a lot. So tomorrow she was going to help him again, even if it upset him. 

His hands hovered near her, it made her smile how easily he knew where she was. There was a warm feeling coursing through her. Despite invading his space he still didn’t grab her without her permission. She would never jump on him again, but this was at least something she’d needed to experience. After a few steps she stumbled again, but this time it caused him to laugh. She narrowed her eyes, a bit of mischief making its way into her mind.

“I never knew you were ticklish,” she called out. 

She heard and felt him take in a sharp breath. He made use of her own ticklishness, now she was about to get revenge. She gave up climbing to her feet, crawling instead. Each movement she wiggled her fingers against him. It was shocking how much he reacted to her small presence. Another booming laugh came from him.  

He let her continue for only a few seconds before his fingers were surrounding her. He’d been shaking beneath her the whole time. She didn’t give up her revenge easily, tickling him as much as she could before he completely grabbed her. His fingers wrapped around her as another laugh escaped him. This time it would have pushed her into the air making the grab much more appreciated. She flew through the air, a bit of panic hitting her as she finally let her bag return to her side.

He pressed her against his heart, the pounding was growing as a source of calm for her. She could feel as he moved, the air blowing past as he adjusted his grip on her. Even now when he was probably annoyed he gave her space, he remembered her fears. She gripped the cloth of his shirt tightly in her hands. She stared behind her, shocked when the cliff she’d jumped from appeared close to her. How hunched over was he?

“Melody, you can climb down,” his voice was quiet now. She wrapped her hands tighter into the fabric.

“Nope,” she said. It took all her focus to sound confident. The anger from earlier and the ease he’d killed something that was going to kill her weren’t easy to forget. Today reminded her how dangerous this man currently holding her carefully was. A fact she couldn’t just abandon. At the same time… it was impossible to ignore how much she loved him and wanted to avoid fearing him.

“Mel, I already said this isn’t a joke. If you won’t leave I can’t force you, but at least stay inside until I’ve finished ok?” Her grip loosened slightly. The tone of his voice shocked her. As though she had to be mocking him. That she couldn’t be making an effort for him. Pel’s letter was right, he was a fool.

“Who said anything was a joke?” She tightened her grip before pushing herself to lean back and stare up at him. He wasn’t looking at her, just straight ahead. She didn’t like not seeing his eyes. “It’s not fair if I get to sleep in a nice soft bed and you’re out here all alone. I can at least sleep on a soft chest outside with you.”

“Melody you’re not-” She smiled when his skin above her turned red. It was like the moon was forcing its light on him, making sure she could see him. Slowly his head turned until she could see those eyes. Eyes full of shock, fear, and pain. Along with tear tracks down his face that had grown worse in the bit of time since she entered the cabin. “Ch-chest?”

“Well, obviously the ground wouldn’t be safe, the animals could reach me. We already saw that the cliff may not be the safest place either. That only leaves sleeping on you and personally I think I’d rather fall asleep hearing a pounding heart than an empty stomach.”

She smirked as he moved his mouth trying to find words. This wasn’t something they’d done before. It wasn’t something that she was likely to ask for before either. Until recently she’d been scared of his armor, scared of being too close. Now she wanted that proximity, she wanted to sit side by side with him. Each beat his heart, no matter how loud, left her feeling safe.

“I… it’s not safe and I don’t want to sca-”

“You’re always going to do things that scare me,” she interrupted him. The look he gave her spoke volumes, but it was true. “I’m not leaving because of them… Not when you act like you do.”

“I don’t get what you mean.”

“I’ll grow used to this, the trips I mean. Just like I’ll grow used to you holding me. I’ll help you when you hunt, make it easier so you aren’t out here alone for so long. Then you can spend time existing instead of hunting.”

“Mel, I don't want you to do that. I don’t want you to pretend you aren’t scared of seeing me-”

“Of seeing you exist?!”

“I…” He looked away from her. She let go of her hold on his shirt and fell into his palm.

“Kyrie… I’m going to be scared, I’ll be terrified when I see you eat for a while. Then… then it’ll be normal. That’s how it works. Young fae were terrified when they saw Caprice and I eating too.”

“That’s different.” She banged her fists on his chest.

“How? How is it any different?”

“Because I’m a monster!” The anger in his eyes came back. The emotions she couldn’t name followed. Hatred maybe? “I’ve always been one Melody.”

“I don’t care!” She didn’t like the look in his eyes. It felt like no matter how much she tried she’d never reach him. He was angry, but this time she knew it wasn’t at her. Anger at the world that was too small or himself that was too big. She couldn’t confirm which it was.

“I do…” He tried to pull his hand from his chest, but she grabbed his shirt again. He froze as soon as she tugged the fabric. “Melody, please just… just stop. Stop pretending this is fine, that you… that you want to be near me after what you saw.”

“Stop pretending you can decide what I’m feeling!” His fingers curled up around her. She wasn’t letting anything take away her anger right now. Not her fear or the pain she could see on the giant face above her. “I’ve met plenty of monsters. Even if you are one, I’ve already decided not to care. I can’t just be fine with everything right away, but I will be fine eventually… just let there be time. Let me be here!”

He shifted his head completely away from her. She couldn’t see his face or his eyes anymore. It only made this all worse. She wasn’t sure how to prove that this would be fine. Slowly, she pulled her hands free from his shirt. Melody dug in her bag, starting to rip up the blanket she’d packed that morning. It was the one she used when camping, it was easy to replace.

“Mel I don’t think-” he started. She punched his chest, using that as the only way to make him stop. She pulled out the strap from the blanket. She wrapped it around her head, blocking her eyes mostly.

“This will work then,” she said. He shifted and she felt it as he pulled his hand away from his body to stare at her a bit easier. She looked up at where the giant should be.

“What are you doing?” She could feel the careful ghosting of fingers around her. She ran her hands over the cloth, pushing an enchantment into the makeshift blindfold. It settled heavily against her skin. It wouldn’t come off without her releasing it.

“I won’t see you eat like this. It’s enchanted; the wind won’t do anything to knock it off.” She felt one of his fingers pressing against the back of her head. He was trying to remove it, but that wouldn’t work. “You don’t want me to see I won’t. We’ll start small, just getting used to the louder noise and we can start moving forward. I’m not running away from you Kyrie. I know what makes someone a monster, none of it is in you.”

A splash of water made her jump. She didn’t reach for the blindfold right away. She had a feeling Kyrie didn’t want her eyes on him. Air blew past her, but nothing was clear about what the giant was doing. A loud thud made her jump again before his hand moved. It was tilted and she slid off to land on the fabric of his shirt.

Beneath her his chest rumbled. She hesitated, unsure what the best option was now that he set her down. If the conversation was over, if he believed her. She’d seen monsters, she was one. Nothing he said would change that, the voice that always lived at the back of her mind laughed at her thoughts. 

“Why are you so stubborn?” he sighed. The rumble was soothing, she wanted to do this more. She sat down, waiting for him to continue. When the silence became deafening she ripped off the enchanted blindfold and stared towards his head. He looked a bit funny, trying to angle his face so he could still see her.

“Could be the fae, could be the human, could just be me,” she said. He smiled at her, the anger and pain in his eyes hadn’t disappeared. “Could just be I’m someone who fell for a giant of giants and want to be a part of his life. All of his life. Even the things that might be frightening at first.”

“You don’t have to, Byss and Pel haven’t been here since they made my armor. Our lives didn’t change, we don’t have to change.” It was there again. A loneliness she might never fully understand. He was so convinced that no one could stand him. That the others truly stopped coming. She wouldn’t reveal the letter, but she could tell him what she saw.

“I don’t believe that. The cabin was well taken care of. Magic couldn’t keep it that well maintained. Someone’s been coming here, regularly too. Maybe they just think you don’t want them here…” He took in deep breaths. The rise and fall somehow made her feel safe. Just knowing the mountain beneath her was alive and would save her if something went wrong. “It seems like you don’t want anyone around you on these trips. That you don’t want anyone to see you eating, even if they still accept you.”

The words hung over them. She said what she noticed and what she hadn’t entirely planned to mention. It did feel like he wanted her gone. That he made his show of who he was and now she could leave. He’d come back and they’d go back to pretending they were both human. Dancing around each other’s secrets. Her carefully weaving truth into her words to avoid the pain of a lie.

The longer he stayed silent the more regret overcame her. She should have stayed quiet about what it felt like he was doing. Melody decided to just curl up on her side and hope he’d say something soon. Time wore on, she could hear the forest coming to life in the absence of his movements and voice. She tried to focus on the thumping heart and constant motion as he breathed. One of his hands came close and surrounded her.

“You might be right,” he whispered. The quiet words were enough to silence the things around them. Slowly his hand came to rest on top of her, gently pressing her into his chest. Normally she hated feeling so warm at night, Kyrie’s hand and chest were different. “I… I won’t tell you to leave anymore. Just please go in the cabin if it’s too much. Can you promise me you’ll do that?”

“If I get overwhelmed I’ll go inside, or add an enchantment to muffle sounds to the blindfold,” she said. The groan he let out vibrated her body against him. She never realized how that would feel when on top of him.

“That’s the best I’ll get isn’t it?”

“Probably, I can always think of more ways to get around a promise.” The hand over her grew just slightly heavier. It felt inexplicably calming. A weight that could crush her pressing her into the chest of the giant, but all it did was quiet her thoughts. He could probably grab something to eat while she was like this and she’d barely notice.

“Can you at least stop getting so close to the edges of the cliff? You’re the one with a fear of heights, but I’m the one terrified each time.” She let out a laugh and he joined her quickly. His laugh was all bass from this position. It made her shiver and sent her heart racing. She was starting to realize she actually liked how big the man was. That was something to discuss another time.

“I’ll stop going near the edges of the cliffs. That one I won’t find a way to get around.” 

He curled his fingers around and squeezed her gently into his hand. It was a quick motion that left her back on his chest over his heart in an instant. She didn’t always mean to get so close to the edge. There was just a push for her to get near it. To step off and snap her wings to catch the air. That wasn’t something she could actually do most of the time.

With the problems somewhat settled a comfortable silence settled in the air. The noises of nature returned with Kyrie’s silence. It didn’t take much longer for Melody’s eyes to grow heavy. His breathing grew slow just as her own did. She would make herself able to handle whatever it meant for Kyrie to be himself.  She would accept him and just hope he’d accept the secrets she still hid.