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Terry never thought he needed this.
He thought about it in the abstract a lot. The ways in which people formed bonds, developed a shared sense of intimacy. Let eachother in in ways that left marks on the inside - good or bad, it rarely made a difference in the short run. He thought about it a lot - mostly because he missed it, though he pretended that wasn't the case. Pretended he didn't miss having friends he knew inside out and a family he could always rely on to be there for him. If he acted like he was fine, he was past it. If he acted like he was something separate from that craving for those bonds, then of course it had to be true. So he forced himself to think about it as something that might be nice, but not as anything that was in any way essential to his life.
He never thought he needed it, and being proven wrong was something he had difficulty adjusting to. With Robbie's head resting in the crook of his neck and one of his hands playing idly with the hem of Terry's shirt - it was enough to deal with having someone else in his bed, but this close was a bit much for him. It was comforting and painful at the same time, he didn't really know how--
"Are you okay?"
Terry almost jumped. It took a moment for him to process what he'd just been asked, settling on a half-mumbled, "yeah, I'm fine," and a non-committal shrug. Robbie evidently wasn't buying this, as evidenced by the way he shook his head, and Terry sighed. "What. Why?"
"You did that thing you do where you stop breathing and then pretend that you didn't." He shook his head again and shifted a bit on the bed so he could look Terry in the face, "it's pretty weird."
"I don't--" He started, but Robbie gave him a distressingly teacherly look and Terry immediately deflated. "Fine. Okay. I was freaking out, but I'm fine now."
Robbie sat up and raised his eyebrows in a very 'not buying it' expression as he appeared to think this over for a moment, "this was your idea - I even wore pants because you asked me to."
"--I really appreciate that, by the way."
He paused to laugh, momentarily derailed by Terry's interjection, and sighed, "look, I'm just saying. If you're not comfortable, I can sleep on your couch or leave or whatever."
"No, it's fine."
Robbie frowned, focusing the intensity of his frown at Terry as if he could communicate his displeasure telepathically, "nope. You keep reminding me how I should talk about what's getting at me, so you have to do the same."
"Robbie..."
"The therapy sword cuts both ways, man."
"That's not even..." Terry wrinkled his nose at the ridiculousness of what Robbie had just said, but the look on his face suggested that he wasn't having any critiques of his off-the-cuff phraseology. (He was absurdly good at those expressions, it was almost distressing.) "I'm sorry. I thought having someone around would be good for you, but. I guess I forgot how... unused to people I am." He pulled a face, massively uncomfortable with this degree of openness, and turned his head way from Robbie. Suddenly the wall seemed as though it may have something interesting to contribute.
While he was deep in telepathic commune with the wall, Robbie leaned over him, placing a kiss on his cheek to try and coax him out of silent reverie. Terry's response to this was to sigh and swear under his breath. "It's not just-- I was thinking about my brother."
"I can't tell you how uncomfortable that makes me feel right now."
Terry chanced a glance up at Robbie, wanting nothing more than to retreat from this conversation. He felt... exposed. Disquieted by the way he wouldn't just leave it be, but all things considered he did sort of owe him at least this degree of honesty. Hell, he probably owed it to himself too. Just... that meant talking things out more than he really wanted to, but he knew trying to avoid it was a futile effort.
He turned his face back to the wall, not wanting to be entirely cognizant of Robbie's attention on him. "He used to come to me. Whenever he had a bad dream. I gave him a hard time about it sometimes, but I was always there if he needed me. Until I couldn't be, anyway." He paused, steeling his expression reflexively. If he could look at himself from the outside, it probably would've been something to comment on. Even then, part of him was still focused on looking like he was still, calm. Like nothing ever got to him, not really. "I didn't know how to control my powers back then. I... Couldn't be there for him like that."
They stayed silent for what felt like ages until Terry looked back up at Robbie, who was chewing his lip thoughtfully while he tried to figure out which part of that to comment on.
"You really miss him, huh?"
Terry didn't say anything at first, almost like he didn't even register that he was being spoken to, and nodded slowly. "I think I miss him more than anyone else. Is that weird?"
"Dunno. Only child."
He leaned in to kiss Terry again, properly this time. Slow and careful while he waited to see if there would be any response or if maybe he was just really bad at judging appropriate times to kiss people. So he couldn't help smiling when he felt hands in his hair and on his neck. That had yet to be a bad sign. In fact he almost felt bad breaking the kiss, but it seemed to have served its intended purpose, judging by the slightly less tense look on Terry's face.
"For what it's worth, Terry. I'm glad you're here."
"Yeah, I... Me too."