Work Text:
TOMS POV
I was hearing everything, I heard a pen scratch against paper and heard them flip the pages, heard the cat licking at the bowl to pick up any scraps, heard the plates clink together, I could hear myself blinking and every exhale and inhale I made. I could feel the tag on the back of my shirt shifting along the nape of my neck, could feel tufts of hair tickle my face, could feel my sweatpants shift everytime I moved.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to claw my skin off and mutilate my body until I no longer had to feel.. to hear. Every time they talked I wanted to rip out their vocal cords. I didn't want to have these thoughts, I didn't want to be as angry as I did, but I was so overwhelmed.
"hey"
a voice said, I opened my eyes and I was enveloped in pitch black, I was scared and felt hopeless, I just wanted someone to come and save me.
"Tom?"
the voice asked, it was familiar and warm, but was distorted. I recognized it but didn't. I wanted to cling to it, for it to save me and pull me out of the cold.
"Tom!"
It was sudden and bright, the morning sun from the kitchen window blinding me. Matt waved his hand in front of my face "you okay Ti- Tom." I squinted and looked at him "No.".
I don't think he really expected that answer but it was true. I itched at my back, I needed these clothes off before I have a breakdown. Matt followed after me, grabbing onto my sleeve "Can I help?".
God I need help, I wanted help but my throat tightened, not letting the words come out. I held out my arms and pushed myself into him, letting my face rest on his chest. His arms wrapping around me, enveloping me into warmth and comfort. His hoodie soft against my cheek.
Pulling my hair away from my face he began to massage my scalp. Then it was quiet, it was safe. Just us. The smell of expensive perfume was welcoming, like vanilla candles on an autumn night.
I am okay.
He is here and I'm going to be okay.
His hands dipped from my head to my back and scratched it, relieving the itch from the tag and cheap cotton on my back.
I don't know when we ended up in my room but I didn't care I just cuddled close to him, trying to press every part of myself to him, no gaps. He laughed, infectious and music to my ears. "What are you doing?" he laughed out and I couldn't help but smile 'Tryna get closer" I said as I continued to wiggle closer.
Matt smiled down at me and pulled me close by my waist "you're so damn cute". I wrinkle my nose, it's corny but from him it always makes my heart churn. "You gonna start calling me bae and pookie bear next?". he pouted out his lower lip and I laughed "I'm joking.. joking".
I laid my head on his chest again and just listened to his breathing and his heart beating. Feeling the weight of sleep pulling me down.
"Night Tommy"