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SEVERUS SNAPE HAD never needed to study, at least not to the extent of others. He was the type to look at an equation and unravel it, the type to look at instructions and see the faults, the type to look at words and read between the lines, one to hear a note and predict the next, the type to look at an art piece and pick out each brush stroke.
Prodigy , he heard some say, but he had never taken the label too seriously, although it was one of the nicer ones he’d ever been given.
His mind was just wired that way.
Regardless of that fact, Severus had been in the library for the last few weeks.
Studying.
It was a frustrating predicament in itself, but the predicament was there nonetheless. Severus had been studying because, regardless of how smart he was– how smart he deemed himself, he was still a teenager subjected to nerves.
It had all happened when Professor McGonagall had given him a mark off of his work for a mistake that he was usually not prone to making.
Even Professor McGonagall had deemed it just that, a flux. But Severus’s mind had spiraled, even as he had passively accepted his parchment back.
Like it or not, his mind had created an entirety of a false reality all based on the fact that these were the early signs of his inevitable crash and he would amount to nothing more than a burned out and bitter middle aged man basking in the glory he could have been.
It was embarrassing enough that he had woken up in a cold sweat about it.
The next morning, he had gone to the library, earlier than even Madam Pince, who had stared down intently at the Slytherin before opening the doors and letting him pass. He had started from the basics, studying everything he had learned from before Hogwarts to first year and onwards.
He had read through and over the books again and again until the words cascaded in his mind even when he was busy with anything else. And with the upcoming OWLs, he was rapidly inhaling information in ascending and descending order, hoping he could somehow juggle his current early life crisis with the exam that could affect his middle aged one.
In summary, he had been in a hell of his own metaphorical making.
“That doesn’t look like the fifth year curriculum.” A voice said from behind him.
Severus jolted at the sound, looking up from his book and back behind him as his heart hammered in his chest, a possible reaction from the mixture of tea spiked with Pepperup potions he’d been drinking for the past two weeks.
He should probably stop.
“Hey,” Mulciber said as Severus blinked, trying to grasp reality past the lines of his books as he glanced up at the other Slytherins, “Potions, you’ alright?”
Severus gave a roll of his eyes as he turned back around in his seat to ignore the other Slytherin. “That’s not my name, Mulciber.”
“That’s not my name either,” Mulciber snarked as he came up, moving the books on the table despite Severus’s protests so he could sit there, looking down at Severus sat in his chair below him, “It’s my father’s.”
“Both your names are your father’s” Severus said back, “Bruce Mulciber the second .”
“Low blow,” Mulciber said, though a smile stretched on his face.
“Penance for purposefully seeking out my company,” Severus said as he took out his quill, sighing while he dipped it in his ink bottle and scribbled something down, “What do you want?”
“I’m hiding from Vanity.” Mulciber said with an easy shrug. It was then that Severus realized that Mulciber was in his quidditch uniform, knees and elbows padded and the green and black shirt he wore, encrusted with the silver number 09.
He cast his eyes back down as he commented, “It’s a little too late for that.”
Mulciber’s eyes were confused before the words clicked in his mind. “Did you just make a joke?” Mulciber asked, lips stretching into a grin.
“At your expense,” Severus reminded the Slytherin, looking up into his amber eyes as he said, “We’re not friends.”
“But we’re getting there,” Mulciber said, his smile radiant and utterly annoying, “Admit it Potions, you don’t completely detest my company.”
Severus only sighed, facing the other Slytherin fully. “What do you want, Mulciber?”
Mulciber’s eyes were almost golden as they reflected the late afternoon light of the sun. He looked at Severus intently, eyebrows furrowed.
“How long have you been in here?” Mulciber asked, “You look like you haven’t seen the sun in days.”
“Because I haven’t,” Severus said, looking back down at his book, “I’ve been occupied.”
“That’s criminal.” Mulciber said, face disbelieving as looked at the Slytherin in front of him, head bent down as he wrote in his books, fingers black stained with ink. “No,” Mulciber said as he stood, “get up.”
“What?” Severus asked, looking up skeptically.
“Get up, we’re going outside.” Mulciber said.
“I thought you were hiding from Emma Vanity?” Severus questioned, looking out into the library, “It’ll be a lot easier for your Captain to spot you when you’re out in the open, Mulciber.”
“Besides,” Severus reasoned, “no one would ever expect you to be in a library. You should stay here.”
“Was that a proposition or an insult?” Mulciber snorted.
“It was an observation.” Severus answered.
“As appealing as the offer is, there’s something that I need to show you,” Mulciber said.
“I’m studying,” Severus refused.
“No, you’re not,” Mulciber said, “Come on, Potions. It’ll only take a second.”
“No.” Severus said.
“I’ll scream and make Madam Pince kick us out.” Mulciber threatened easily.
“Are you fucking insane.” Severus deadpanned, looking up at Mulciber with a frown.
“Give me twenty minutes, tops.” Mulciber said, looking at the watch on his wrist.
“Ten.” Severus battered as he slowly got out of his seat, feeling his limbs crack and pop and his entire weight smoothed back in place. He really had been seated there for too long, and on a Sunday at that.
“Fifteen.” Mulciber compromised.
“Five.”
“Ten it is.” Mulciber said as he tossed a coin in the air, catching it as he got up as well.
“Where are we going?” Severus asked once they had gone out of the library doors.
“You’ll like it.” Mulciber responded vaguely, offering him a small grin before he moved forward, in front of him as he guided him through the empty hallways.
They walked silently for a while, up until they reached a large window door. It lead to a large balcony, the ones that the students used when going down the steps to the grounds, whether for their breaks or to Creature class.
Mulciber opened the doors, and Severus hissed, moving backwards as he blinked repeatedly, eyes tearing almost instantly as he tried to get used to the sunlight in his eyes.
“Fuck.” Severus cursed as Mulciber laughed.
“You’re a fucking vampire, aren’t you Potions?” Mulciber laughed as he dragged a retreating Severus back into the terrace.
“Shut up,” Severus hissed out as he turned away from the setting sun, blindly running into Mulciber who laughed as he held Severus’s shoulder’s to still him.
“I didn’t say anything,” Mulciber said, but Severus wasn’t dumb enough to not know that Mulciber was freely grinning at the spectacle. He was nearly close enough to feel Mulciber shaking with laughter through the hands that were holding him still.
“I’m not an idiot,” Severus said as he tried to get rid of the painful tinge that was in his eyes every time he blinked, cursing every time his tears ran down his face.
He blinked more, using his hands to scrub at his face, blinking away the pain.
“Better now?” Mulciber asked, a smile still present in his voice.
“Shut the fuck up.” Severus grumbled as he tried to blink again, easing the pain of his dehydrated eyes.
“But you’ll miss the best part, Potions.” Mulciber said, turning Severus around despite his protests. He squinted, though luckily not in the pain that had previously latched onto his eyes.
He blinked rapidly as he tried to look at what Mulciber was so insistent that he looks at.
When the pain subsided, he saw it.
He glimpsed it almost too late, just as it was sinking. The pink tinged clouds swirled, mingling with the stars just before they had to leave.
It was. . .
“This is,” Severus breathed, “the most beautiful waste of my time.”
He glanced at Mulciber, who stared dumbfoundedly at Severus’s statement before he burst out laughing. It was a loud sound, almost as if it was something shocked out of him, far more genuine than one would expect from someone like Mulciber. Sure, he was irritably pleasant around Severus, but Severus had heard and witnessed enough of Mulciber’s unpleasantness to genuinely be surprised when he heard his laugh. But somehow brought an amused twitch to his lips.
“Wow,” Mulciber laughed, the last sounds of it cascading into the silence, “you’re really something else, Potions.”
“That’s not my name, Mulciber.” Severus said, though without much of his usual heat.
He turned back from the sunset, placing his elbows back on the railing as he closed his eyes, letting the afternoon wind fall over him as he tipped his head back.
“What’s got you so wound up?” Mulciber asked mildly.
Severus glanced at Mulciber, but when he saw him facing forward, he looked away.
“Was it that noticeable?” Severus asked back.
“Funnily enough, no.” Mulciber let out a breath of a laugh, “Though I think checking out all the books on past prodigies who disappeared from the limelight would raise some questions.”
“Ugh,” Severus groaned, embarrassment washing over him, “How would you even know that?”
“I wanted to read Quidditch Through the Ages,” Mulciber said, a grin on his face as he looked at Severus, “imagine my surprise when Madam Pince said her oldest collection was with none other than Potions himself.”
“It’s nothing.” Severus sighed, and Mulciber raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
Silence etched at them for seconds, then minutes. Neither of them spoke.
Severus was only brought out of his stupor when Mulciber bumped their shoulders together.
“Hey, Potions,” Mulciber said, waiting until Severus glanced at him before he spoke, “I don’t know what’s got you spiraling, but you’re smart.”
“I know I’m smart, Mulciber.” Severus brushed his comment away.
“Uh-uh, see that ,” Mulciber said, bringing a finger up to tap under Severus’s chin, “is your problem.”
“My problem?” Severus asked, frown on his face.
“You’re so immodest it’s obvious it’s manufactured.” Mulciber chuckled, “I tell you you’re crazy smart, you say you know, then you go to a library and look into every failed prodigy that has ever existed. You’re contradicting your own confidence, Potions.”
“I’m not,” Severus said, lifting his elbows from the railing to stand straight, “I know I’m smart.”
Mulciber stood up too, moving closer to stand right in front of Severus, looking down at him. “Then what’s got you so wound up?”
Severus swallowed, staring into Mulciber’s eyes.
“I’m smart,” Severus said, and Mulciber waited, “But that means I also know what my limit is. I can do everything and anything, but I’m changed down by fucking reality and illusion at the same time. A literal mark off my Transfiguration essay made me go into a spiral for fucking weeks because all I am is fucking smart. What exactly am I without that, it’s so—”
He broke off.
He must have been more sleep deprived than he thought. It was like once he started talking he couldn’t stop. Mulciber hadn’t said anything, which made this entire situation more embarrassing than it already was.
“Nevermind,” Severus said, moving away and back, “forget it Mulciber, get back to practice—”
“No. Hey, hold on.” Mulciber said, pulling him back to the railing before he could move away too far.
“I said forget it, Mulciber.” Severus snapped, and Mulciber placed up his hands, standing up in front of him.
“Just listen to me for a second, will you?” Mulciber asked, looking at Severus intently, and Severus frowned up at him, but let him continue.
“You’re smart, Severus.” Mulciber said and Severus felt a jolt hit him, “But you put too much emphasis on that head of yours and not yourself. Sure, you’ll never be as charming as me,” he joked, and Severus couldn’t help but let out a snort at the unseriousness of the statement, “But you’re someone even without the smarts. You’re creative, for one. And vindictive as fuck.” Mulciber chuckled as Severus’s lips twitched, “Those things get you places.”
“But for safe measure, spend less time in that head of yours, alright?” Mulciber snorted, tapping the side of Severus’s head.
Severus could only stare at Mulciber. His chest was uncomfortably warm, his heart rising to his throat along with the temperature.
“What, are my attempts at pep talks that bad?” he jokingly asked, lips quirking.
“I-” Severus’s voice cracked slightly, and he stopped, clearing his throat before he continued, “You know…The sunset was actually kind of beautiful, wasn’t it?”
Mulciber was quiet as he looked at Severus, opening his mouth to say, “Yeah, it really is.”
Severus swallowed, blinking slowly.
“Mulciber—”
“Less thinking, remember?” Mulciber reminded him, bringing a hand out to tangle his fingers with Severus’s.
“This is a bad idea, Bruce.” Severus whispered, even as his other hand came up, lightly gripping the hem of Mulciber’s shirt.
“You’re thinking, Severus.” Mulciber said before kissing him.
Once he kissed him, his heart slowed and every muscle in his body relaxed. It was like the past two weeks of spiraling hadn’t happened. How much he realized he had needed this terrified him. It was terrifying how he was expected to act normally when Mulciber’s lips finally left his, he wondered how anyone could ever act normally when they were kissed like this.
And he didn’t want it any other way. Not right now.
Mulciber pulled back, only slightly, their breath still mingling as he asked, “Still thinking?”
Severus didn’t wait for Mulciber to finish the question, shaking his head rapidly before he dragged Mulciber back, pulling at him insistently until he was kissing him again, doubling over slightly as Mulciber had to hold onto the railing, Severus carefully trapped between his arms as they kissed him.
It was like the headache he had been sporting magically disappeared. And honest to Merlin the sunset could go fuck itself, this was the most beautiful thing Severus had ever felt.