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2023-03-09
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2023-05-06
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If Only I Could Whisper the Words My Heart Longs to Shout

Summary:

They say 'the heart wants what it wants'... but sometimes it takes a little while for the mind to catch up.

Or my take on Maggie and OA going undercover in a club because, yes, I had to jump on board as well. This fic is also for ThatFanficWriterElsa.

Notes:

Hey, so this is my first post in a while, but I've been reading a lot of Maggie/OA fics lately. I saw a comment from ThatFanficWriterElsa, that mentioned everyone taking their own shot at writing those two undercover in a club, and I had to jump on board (by the way, that was a great idea, thank you for mentioning it and I hope you enjoy this!) Here's my take on it, and I will have the second part up in a few days. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed picturing this happening for real!

Chapter 1: Dangerous Thoughts

Chapter Text

OA muttered a few choice words as his partner resolutely stared him down. She could be so stubborn, and while he usually loved that about her, it could also be very infuriating. 

Ever since Maggie's return from injury leave, OA had tried keeping her out of the line of fire as much as possible. They had fought about his protectiveness a lot in the beginning, but had eventually come to an agreement. While OA had backed down a good bit, at least enough for Maggie to do her job with the knowledge that he trusted her abilities, he still did what he could to make sure she didn't bear the brunt of every potentially harmful situation. 

As of now, he was getting ready to dive head first into an undercover operation, and he and Maggie were arguing about her wanting to go in with him. It was set to take place at a night club in the middle of the city, where the owner was suspected as an illegal arms dealer. OA had been set to go in as a potential buyer, while Maggie, Scola and Tiff listened from the van. Now, however, Maggie was changing up the plan, saying she didn't feel comfortable sending him in without any back up.

While he didn't admit it to her, he knew exactly why she felt that way. He would too if the roles were reversed… but they weren't, and all he could think about was his partner walking into yet another risky situation where there were too many unknown variables. 

They were standing in front of Isobel and Jubal, Maggie having claimed she could pose as OA's girlfriend. She had been in the middle of pleading her case when OA interrupted and said he didn't want her taking that risk.

Much like Maggie's first two cases back, she and OA turned to each other to hash out their problems while the SAC and ASAC silently observed the interaction. OA was never proud about arguing with Maggie, and he definitely never liked it… but nevertheless, it still happened from time to time, and this was one of those moments. It wasn't ideal doing it in front of their superiors, but this wasn't the first time and they knew that occasionally there was tension between the partners… and right now they didn't have the time to find a private place to work things out.

"OA, remember what we talked about before? I thought we moved past that. Listen, I'm just trying to back you up like you do for me. We're partners, OA, that's what we do." Her tone was a lot less harsh than the past few minutes, and OA was sure his expression softened a good bit at her words. 

Jubal, who had remained silent throughout the conversation, finally spoke up from his position beside of Isobel. "You know, I think Maggie has a point. It would be safer for both of you to back each other up. You might get better results playing off of each other."

Isobel nodded her agreement as well. "It's settled, OA. Maggie is going in as your back up. You two get your cover story straight, get suited up, and be ready to leave in one hour." With that, she walked out, leaving no room for debate. 

"Well, you heard her. Go get dressed, and hey… try to look the part."

OA wasn't sure if Jubal was talking just about the clothes, or the part of a couple. Either way, they had to get this right. His partner's safety was riding on it. 

The two made their way out of the JOC, but before they could split up to find their attire, OA gently grabbed Maggie's arm and led her over to an empty hallway. He didn't want to leave off with a lot of tension between them. That was something he never liked. He always wanted to be on good terms with this woman whom he cared so much for. She wasn't just his partner, she was his best friend… his everything. "Mags.."

"I know. You don't like this… but I want to be in there with you. You always want to look after me, but what, I'm not allowed to do the same?" Her chocolate eyes were pleading with him, almost mesmerizingly so, and his heart tugged with some unidentifiable emotion.

He briefly looked away in order to compose himself. "You're right, I'm sorry. I appreciate you looking out for me. You know I just care about you, and I want to keep you safe."

"Well, it goes both ways." She gave him a warm smile, and it was only then that he realized he hadn't let go of her arm. She seemed to have noticed too, and if he didn't know any better, he would've sworn she blushed. 

Knowing time was ticking on the operation's prep time, OA finally let go, instead giving her a fist bump and gesturing to the door. "Okay, I guess it's settled. Let's do this, partner."

"Let's do this, together."

OA did a double-take as he saw Maggie come out of the restroom. He had seen her dress up before, but never like this… never in a dress that hugged her figure so perfectly while showing so much skin. Her dark hair was framing her face in loose waves, while her make up accentuated her expressive eyes. She looked gorgeous, and OA found that he couldn't take his eyes off her. 

It wasn't that he hadn't noticed his partner's beauty before, because of course any man with working vision would have, but he never really allowed himself to dwell on it. It felt unprofessional. He also knew Maggie hated the attention… but tonight, with that attire, there was no way she wouldn't be center of it. 

He, himself, had opted for a black and tight-fitted, button-down dress shirt with matching black jeans. It wasn't overly dressy, but a lot less casual than blue jeans and a t-shirt. It would fit with the scene.

He and Maggie had spent a little time just making sure the cover story was straight, but OA knew that wouldn't be a problem. The two of them always played well off of each other, and neither were strangers to the undercover world. 

If it wasn't for the looming fear over his partner's safety, OA would actually be excited about this. He always liked undercover work, and he most definitely liked working with Maggie.

He took a deep breath as he stood to make his way over to her. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. He just had to keep her safe. He would be there to have her back, and Scola and Tiff would be right outside. They could do this. 

Quickly closing the distance between them, OA smiled as Maggie met his gaze. "Well, don't you clean up nicely." The urge to say something more, like telling her she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on, was strong but he repressed it as best as he could. Still, he hoped his expression conveyed more than he was willing to put into words.

Maggie returned the smile. "You're not too bad yourself." Surprising him, she stepped closer and reached up to grab his collar. He wasn't sure what she was doing at first, but he quickly got his answer when she undid the top button. His breath hitched at her close proximity, and he gazed at her in surprise at her bold action. She shrugged, "It looks more the part." 

He caught a whiff of her perfume, and suddenly his senses were overwhelmed by her. She held his gaze for a brief moment. Her eyes were dark and surprisingly intense, and OA knew he could get lost in them… but then she took a step back and he found himself disappointed by the loss of contact. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him, but he needed to get a grip. 

Shaking his head and realizing he hadn't yet said anything in response, he huffed out a small laugh. "Thanks, Mags. I guess I missed that key detail." 

OA wasn't sure what to make of the moment they had just shared, but he felt like he was probably reading more into it than he should. It probably didn't mean anything… and anyways, what did he even want it to mean? Yeah, he definitely needed to get a grip because he had a suspicious feeling that his partner's appearance was doing things to him that it shouldn't. 

Thankfully he didn't have long to analyze that train of thought, as they were both needed for one more debrief with Isobel and Jubal. They went over their cover story with them, insuring that everything was solid. 

As originally planned, OA would go in as a potential buyer for an illegal cache of rifles. The target was Jeremy Victor, the club owner, but he was suspected of having two partners. OA's first goal was to identify the other two. 

They knew this had the potential to last more than one night, tonight most likely being the initial set up… and now, there was another key player. Maggie. She would be going in as OA's girlfriend, who was well aware of and aided in OA's 'business.' 

OA couldn't deny that a feeling of glee washed over him at the thought of Maggie playing the role of his girlfriend. The feeling was unexpected and he knew he needed to tamp it down. Right now, there was a mission to focus on.

After the debrief, the two agents made their way to the UC car, OA jumping behind the wheel. This was the first time in a long while that he was able to do that without Maggie taking the keys from his hand.

It wasn't a very long drive, but the city traffic added a bit of time to their commute. They had just stopped for a light, and OA took the chance to glance over at Maggie. He smiled as he watched her fidget with her sleek, black dress. It was well known to him that she hated dressing up, in fact she detested anything fancy, so he could tell she was uncomfortable sitting there. That was further evidenced by the way she was trying to pull at the hem of the dress, which barely came to mid-thigh, and between it and the matching black stilettoes, tan skin and taut muscles were on full display. 

A horn blared behind their car, and OA gulped as he realized he had most definitely been checking out his partner. He quickly averted his gaze, which had been way too focused on her bare legs, back to the road… and the green light that had apparently turned a while ago based on the other driver's angry signal.

"You good?" Maggie sounded concerned from her position in the passenger seat, and it took every ounce of OA's self-control to step on the gas rather than turn back to her and those full lips that were stained with a such a tempting color of red. 

Thankfully, she had been too focused on her dress to realize where his true attention had been… also on the dress, just in a different capacity. She was uncomfortable in it, while he, in contrast, was a little too comfortable seeing her in it. "Uh, yeah. I'm good, sorry." 

"Okay, because I was beginning to think you wanted to sit there and hold up traffic all night." She sounded more amused than concerned now, but OA's mind took a dangerous path thinking about what they could be doing in the car to hold up the traffic. After he didn't say anything, he saw her shake her head out of the corner of his eye. "I don't care that right now we're supposed to be saying you're in control for the sake of the cover, I'm driving next time."

OA tensed up at her words. She was killing him. He knew she was most definitely talking about the roles they were playing, but he couldn't stop thinking about a different situation in which he would like to be in control… and it had nothing to do with driving and everything to do with getting Maggie out of that dress. Then again, the thoughts of her controlling that situation was just as big of a turn on, and he could see it now with her usual take charge attitude.

Oh this was not good. He couldn't keep thinking this way if he was ever going to survive the night, let alone this case with her by his side. He shouldn't be thinking this about his partner anyways. It was wrong, it was unprofessional, and it even felt disrespectful towards Maggie. That was the last thing he ever wanted to be with her, but she was killing him in that dress… and the thoughts running through his mind were anything but tasteful.

OA took a deep breath and tried shooting her a smile. "Sorry, we're a bit early. I was just trying to kill some time. It's all good." It was a lame-ass excuse and they both knew it, but thankfully Maggie chose not to comment on it or his awkward behavior. 

They made it to the club about five minutes later, and OA found a spot to park the Rover. They clicked on their earpieces and his button camera, confirming with Tiff and Scola that the audio and visual were good, then excited the vehicle. 

OA came around to Maggie's side as she stepped out, and he caught a glimpse of the two of them together in the reflection of the tinted windows. For the first time, he realized that they were matching, and it hit him like a ton of bricks how good they looked together. 

Maggie looked up at him with a breathtakingly beautiful smile and reached over to grab his hand. "Ready?"

"Definitely." He squeezed her hand in return and his heart nearly stopped at the thought of how right it felt to be holding it in his. Before he could take that any further, Maggie was already moving them towards the door. 

This couple thing was going to be a piece of cake… unless it killed him before the night was over, and with the look she just shot him over her shoulder, that was a real possibility. 

Night had already fallen, and the place was crowded when they made it inside. The lights were flashing, the music was pounding, and OA hoped it would help to recenter his focus. God only knew he needed something. 

The agents moved further into the crowd, keeping a tight grip on each other's hand. The meeting between OA and Victor had already been set up, so now it was time to put it in motion. Following Maggie to the bar, he kept cool while inconspicuously scanning the room. Once they caught the bartender's attention, OA ordered two whiskeys, and after they were poured, he asked where he could find Jeremy Victor.

The bartender eyed OA for a moment before doing the same to Maggie. He lingered on her a bit too long, and OA resisted the urge to deck him in the jaw. "Who's asking?" 

"You can call me Yosef. Your boss is expecting me." He kept it simple, referencing the name that was used in the set up. 

"Who's she?" He nodded in Maggie's direction.

"Who do you think she is?" OA, while smirking at the other man, snaked an arm around Maggie's waist and pulled her so that her back was flush against his chest. He nearly groaned when she leaned into his embrace, but he was able to keep himself in check with a cool expression. "She's my girlfriend." It felt so natural calling her that.

"Is this not a business deal?"

Maggie was the one to reply this time. "You can say I'm his business partner… in more ways than one." She raised an eyebrow, shooting them both a saucy look and OA felt a little weak in the knees.

"Wait here. I'll see if he wants to see you."

"Well, he better because this was already prearranged… and believe me, he doesn't want to turn this down."

The man stalked off, and Scola asked through the earpiece if all was good so far. Both agents confirmed that the bartender had to know at least some about Victor's dealings, but everything was fine right now. They sat strategically at the bar, so that they each could keep an eye on their surroundings. 

They had parted from their previous embrace, but OA placed a hand on Maggie's thigh as they both sipped their whiskey to keep up appearance. He glanced her way to make sure she was okay with the gesture, and he was quickly rewarded with a mischievous smile.

Feeling bold, he upped the ante by rubbing circles with his thumb on her exposed skin, occasionally skirting closer to the hem of her dress. He shouldn't be doing this, but he told himself it was merely to keep up their cover. 

The only thing, playing the role of a couple seemed to be coming way too easy for them… or at least he knew it was for him, and judging by the sexy smirks Maggie kept throwing him, he wasn't the only one feeling this way. 

As his thumb moved higher, Maggie began to slightly squirm beneath his touch, and OA loved the flushed hue her cheeks had taken on. 

They sat like that for another short moment before Maggie leaned over to whisper, "Bartender's back." She was close enough that he could feel her hot breath against his ear and neck, and he found that he didn't want her to move. 

He squeezed her thigh, and before he could stop himself he turned his head so that he could place a kiss right beside of her mouth. "Let's do this."

Maggie, playing her role to perfection, barely reacted to the gesture, but OA was close enough that he could hear her breath hitch ever so slightly. She nodded and they both turned to the bartender while OA desperately hoped he hadn't crossed a line he shouldn't have.

"Jeremy will see you now. Follow me." He continued to eye them as he had earlier, but nevertheless motioned for them to follow into a hallway off to the side of the bar.

Maggie, once again, grabbed OA's hand and he sighed in contentment. This would be perfect if they weren't currently on their way to meet an arms dealer. He couldn't explain it, but ever since she volunteered to come with him, this inexplicable feeling washed over him every time he was near her or able to touch her. The strong urge to grab her and never let go seemed to be at the forefront of his mind, and he desperately craved her touch even when she was only a few feet away.

He didn't think he had ever experienced it before, the feeling only seemingly evoked by his enamoring partner. It had to just be a reaction to tonight's unusual circumstances though, right? 

That's what OA kept telling himself… even though deep down he had the strange feeling that tonight was just merely shedding a light on a revelation he had tried to keep hidden for a while now.