Chapter Text
Dear Eren,
I don't remember how we met honestly.
I remember seeing you around school, I remember being in classes with you.
We went to the same school in 5th grade, you had your friend group, I had mine.
We saw each other at lunch a lot. You sat with Mikasa, Connie, and Sasha a few tables away. I sat with my books. You laughed so loudly sometimes. I saw you running around the courtyard occasionally, you looked like you were having the time of your life. I would sometimes laugh to myself, when Marco and Jean started hanging out with me I got a lot louder. Do you remember? We would laugh and and talk loudly. Always joking. Jean was kind of a dick though.
When Jean and Marco started going out I became the third wheel. I stayed in the back and tried to not mess up their relationship. I'm pretty sure you remember how that went. I'll remind you anyway, Jean and Marco never communicated. They always liked around and made the other feel bad, well mostly Jean to Marco. They eventually ended a few weeks later. That went on for about the entire 5th grade year.
Although the friendship we had was pretty mutual at the time, I wished I had talked to you sooner.
6th grade rolled around and we began to talk more and I began to notice you. Your tangled brown hair, bright green-blue eyes. The way you would say things with a German accent, or the things you would laugh at.
I can't remember what your laugh sounds like anymore.
Or the way you would say 'hello', dropping the 'h'.
I don't remember what the sparkle in your eyes looked like when you were interested.
I don't remember when you became so important to me.
Near the end of 6th grade we got close, remember? Like really close. I feel like it was when me and Annie tried to go out, or when you and that shorty Levi tried it out.
As you probably know, Annie and I only lasted about a month or two. We rarely talked. Remember how we go together?
It was the night of the school social, a dance. I told you about my crush on her and you told her that you knew someone liked her. I got scared and ran into the bathrooms and just kinda hung out there for a while. You came in laughing, your green eyes shining with delight. I don't think I'd ever had more fun in my life.
Later that night you ripped your pants, do you remember? You called your dad and sent me out to get them. Your dad and step-mom were pretty cool. "The blond chick" you had said. 'Chick'. I told you I wasn't a girl, you told me its the only way your dad would know it's me.
Do you remember telling the Social Studies teacher, Ms. Hanji, about me and Annie? You ran up to her and yelled, "Ms. Hanji! Armin and Annie are dating!"
I had ran away, my face was probably as red as a stop sign. I could've believe you.
That night was the best of my life.
We were inseparable after that. You and Mikasa drifted apart, while Sasha and Connie got together, and honestly I felt a little glad. I got to have all your attention, I was your best friend. I am selfish.
We talked every night and everyday. When you were sad we would sit at our own little table in the corner of the couryart and talk about it. When I was sad you would abandon all else and comfort me.
When you and Levi got together everyone judged you. I didn't. At first anyway, I told you how adorable you guys were, I would talk to him about you guys. Remember when I taught him how to roleplay and you basically gave me your life in return? I wish you hadn't. I would hurt a lot less if you hadn't.
When he began abusing you I got so mad. How could he. You were so perfect, he would smack you with your books, he would you with your emotions. Do you remember how you would talk to me about that on the phone after school?
Eventually we stopped talking about him for a while. I learned you loved to draw. We would teach each other the stuff we knew, we would grow together.
I love that about you, Eren, you were always there, teaching me new things.
You truly are my best friend.
When summer came around I had gotten your cell phone number. We talked for hours on end. I would lay on my bed with my feet propped up against the wall, we would talk and talk like the world would never end. We cried, we laughed, we sat in comfortable silence. I had never felt happier in my life.
Do you remember that, Eren?
Do you remember all those good times we had?
Because I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
Even if it meant I still had to lose you.
I miss you,
Armin.