Chapter Text
After his father died, I took Fundy in. He was my closest friend, and I would do anything for him. And that’s how, at an ungodly hour on a Sunday morning, I was being dragged to a new florist that had apparently opened right near the community house. Why he wanted more flowers, I didn’t know, and why on Earth he needed them right now was a fucking mystery to me. But I had just taken him in, so I went along with it. It was the least I could do, right? As soon as they see the shop, he practically sprints towards it dragging me along behind him.
“Eret! Isn’t this the most adorable little place! And look! Morning Glories! Aren’t they gorgeous?”
I roll my eyes at his enthusiasm. They are just flowers. I never understood his obsession with them. I think it reminded him of his childhood He was almost as bad as Hannah. We walk into the shop and a tinkling bell rings somewhere at the back.
“I’ll be there in just a moment! Just got to-”
A crash of ceramic and out of the back door falls who I assume is the shop owner.
“Sorry, guys, I’ll be right there, just-”
She hurries to hold up the shelves that are teetering towards her, and shoves them upright.
“Well, I hope you guys don’t judge by first impressions, 'cause as that one goes it was pretty shit.”
The girl holds out her hand, then sees the dirt on it and seems to think better of it, wiping her hands on her yellow dungarees.
“Hi! I’m Alice. Alice Crisant. I own this lovely establishment. What can I do to help you two today?”
Fundy immediately launches into his list of flowers and gardening equipment that he wants, which quickly makes me lose interest. I wander around the store instead, looking at all the different flowers with what hopefully looks like interest. In the corner is a pretty bunch of flowers that I think Fundy would love, and I grab the pot to bring over to him.
“Hey, Fundy, what do you think of these?”
“Eret, you have a brilliant eye! Those are absolutely stunning! I think they would frame the doorway very nicely, don’t you?”
“Careful!” Alice comes running back into the room and snatches the flowers away. “These are Delphiniums! Did either of you eat them!? That’s silly you wouldn’t eat them. Did either of you touch them!?”
Fundy and I look at each other in bewilderment.
“Uhhh, no?”
She rushes around the counter and grabs my hands, examining them, before grabbing my face.
“Uhhh, excuse me, what’s going on?” I say between squished cheeks. She seems to realise what she’s doing and flushes a bright red, dropping her hands.
“Oh shit sorry! Those flowers are poisonous. They can cause rashes on the skin and if you eat them they’re very toxic, which is funny because their name came from the Latin for dolphin and you’d never think that dolphins would hurt yo-”
She seems to realise she’s prattling on and blushes again.
“Sorry. I’m told I talk too much. I’m used to talking to the flowers, you see, and flowers never complain if I talk too much.”
I’d think she was joking if I didn’t see the deadpan look on her face. I look over to Fundy in desperation- what do you say to someone who’s just said that she talks to plants?- but I see him nodding earnestly, barely suppressing a snigger throughout the entire thing. Well, fuck him then. Fat lot of use he is. Alice seems to remember that Fundy is there, and politely asks him if he doesn’t mind if she examines his hands too.
“Ye, sure, but I don’t think I touched it. Eret was the one who found it. They have an eye for beauty.” he gives me a not-so-subtle wink, and I roll my eyes. He thinks it would do me some good to find someone, no matter how many times I reassure him that I’m perfectly fine.
“They do, I agree. Despite its deadliness, it is one of my most admired plants. That, and my Morning Glories. Those are my pride and joy.” I can tell Fundy would talk for hours about plants, so I quickly intervene.
“So how much do we owe you?” “well, it’s a half-price opening sale, so…” She grabs a calculator and prods its dirt-covered screen. “Well, that’s stopped working. Perfect” She chucks it in the bin and heads out to the back.
“Hannah! Do you know maths?!” Hannah comes out of the back room and pulls a fresh calculator from her pocket.
“That’ll be $30 for all those plants.” I blanch at that. Fundy is going to spend 30 Dollars on some plants! Bruh. If I had even half of his disregard for sensible spending habits, I could retire a happy man. He has no common sense when it comes to things like this. He starts grabbing the plants to take home, but even Alice can tell that we’re not going to get them home in one trip. I grab some flowers too, being careful to avoid the Delphiniums.
“We have a next-day delivery, if you like, we can deliver some flowers then.” Hannah chirps. Since when did Alice and Hannah know each other anyway? Didn’t Alice literally just move in yesterday?
“Would it be ever so cheeky if we could ask one of you to help us take some today?”
Alice leaves the backrooms at this point, with the gardening equipment and a pull-along cart. She grabs the plants from our hands and starts loading up the cart, then grabs another 2 carts from beneath the counter. Where is she getting all these carts? All but a few of the plants are now loaded up.
“Here you go, guys! No need for two trips now.”
“What if we wanted to come back?” Fundy teases. Hannah rolls her eyes, but Alice blushes slightly.
“Ignore him, he's like this with everyone,” I tell Alice. Now that Fundy sees how easy Alice is to embarrass, he won’t give her a second's peace. I’m now more than ready to leave. The heavily perfumed air, and Fundy's flirting, is enough to make anyone sick.
“Okay then, let’s go, Fundy.” He looks at me, his face a painting of fake sadness. I just roll my eyes. Again. Fundy knows that those puppy-dog eyes never work on me. I grab two of the carts and leave.
As soon as we’re out of earshot from the shop, Fundy starts babbling away.
“Wasn’t that girl lovely! And her shop! It’s just what this place needs right now. A little bit of peace and quiet.”
“Yes, 'cause I’m sure a girl who talks to plants will cause no problems at all” He ignores my sarcasm and continues on.
“And she’s just your type as well! Cute and clumsy, and a florist to boot! Ha!”
“Ye no. Not happening, okay. I’m perfectly fine by myself, and I plan to keep it that way.”
“Well, they're delivering the rest of the flowers tomorrow, so maybe I can change your mind.”
I give him a look of disbelief. “Come on, Fundy, give it a rest. You don’t need to try to set me up with every person in the kingdom y’know.”
“You’re such a buzzkill, Eret.” Fortunately, we get back to the castle before he can continue. I dump the flowers at the gatehouse.
“Ok, I’ve got to get ready, otherwise I’ll be late.”
“Late for what?”
“My afternoon nap.” I leave before Fundy can contest my statement and head up to my room. I love him to death but he can get on my nerves sometimes. His constant matchmaking and flirting with others really irritates me; if he thinks I’m so unhappy by myself, why isn’t he unhappy by himself as well then? Normally, I’d bring this up, but he’s had such a tough time lately I thought it would be best to lay off him. We’re still in a sort of tentative stage with this adoption thing, and I don’t want anything to go wrong. I flop on my bed and pull a book from the pile on my table. I really need to read these before I buy anymore. I guess I understand Fundy’s love for flowers, because I love my books the same way. Already there are piles on the floor from where I don’t have any space on my shelves anymore.
It’s been half an hour, and I just can’t get settled. Usually, as soon as I pick up a book, I’m stuck in the little world it contains in its pages. So far, I’ve read the same page 10 times and I still have no clue what it’s saying. Fundy really got under my skin with the pretty girl in the flower shop. See, now I’m even calling her pretty! I give up on the book and head downstairs. Maybe I can ask Fundy. No, he would just tease me about it. I’ll just distract myself then. Fundy is in his room, marking out spaces for his plants.
“Anything I can do?” I ask. “Since when were you interested in plants hmmmm?” I know Fundy is teasing me about Alice again, so I decide to ignore the jibe.
“I’m bored. I’ll do anything when I’m bored.”
“Ye, ye sure, I believe you.”
“...so are you going to give me something to do, or will I just watch you slave away?” I know that’ll really annoy him, but at the moment I don’t really care.
“Hmph. I guess you can bring the plants inside and repot them. I think these pots will look more regal than the ones they came in. And hey, they give us an excuse to go back there, so we can give them back.”
“Yeah, you’ll be doing that by yourself”. Fundy just sighs and shakes his head at me. “You’re no fun sometimes Eret.”