Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Joel barely paid any attention to the fact that his clothes were soaked through and he was chilled to the bone. He set focus on nothing but getting himself home. After having quite possibly the shittiest day ever, there was nothing he wanted more than to go home, take a shower, and down some whiskey and pills to fall asleep. FEDRA had him working at least three jobs that day and then when he was finished with that, he had to go make some drug deals with some people that were on the other side of the fucking QZ and when he got there, he had gotten mooched out of some of the cards that they were supposed to give him. And of course, they managed to get away from him before he could even call them out on it, leaving him alone, cursing quietly to himself

Not in the mood, nor having the energy to deal with those people, Joel just said screw it and decided to head home for the night. But as if things couldn’t get any more worse, halfway through his walk through the QZ, the skies began to darken as thick dark clouds rolled in and before Joel could even book it for cover, the rain began to pour, and in no time flat, his clothes were effectively soaked. Sighing in both disappointment and annoyance, Joel continued on his way, just wanting to get home

The further he walked it seemed that the rain only pounded down on him harder and harder. There were even some points where lightning lit up the sky, followed shortly after by loud rumblings of thunder. But after a particularly loud bout of thunder, Joel swore he heard something coming from an alleyway that he was just about to pass by. At first it was faint, barely sounded like anything at all. But after another clap of thunder, Joel heard it more clearly now. It was high pitched whimpering. At first he stiffened, thinking that maybe it was a runner. He was near a few abandoned buildings after all, it wouldn’t be too far fetched for one to have gotten out of the sealed buildings

Grabbing his gun, Joel turned down the alleyway, keeping his eyes peeled for any possible sign of fungus growing up the nearby walls, but luckily there was no sign of it. Continuing down through the dark alleyway, Joel paused as a strike of lightning lit up the alleyway for a split moment and he spotted something crouched down in the corner at the end of the alleyway. The figure made his heart leap in his chest and he pointed his gun right at it, almost pulling the trigger. But something inside stopped him. As another flash of lightning lit up the sky, the figure was illuminated, revealing it to be a small child. A little girl no older than four

As Joel’s eyes began to adjust to the darkness of the alleyway, he began to notice more about the little girl. Her dark brown hair was soaked and sticking to parts of her forehead. Her eyes were dark brown and wide with fear, with and staring right up at him. She looked so small curled up in the corner, smaller than the average child. Joel didn’t really care for kids. Given the fact that they were nothing but a reminder to him of what he lost ten years ago. So he tended to avoid them as much as possible when he came across them in the QZ. But usually kids were accompanied by an adult of some kind or at least an older kid, never alone, especially when they’re this young. So to see this little girl all alone in an alleyway was setting off some kind of alarms inside Joel’s head

Just as Joel was lowering his gun, his heart jumped when he heard the little girl speak. “Are they gone?” She asked him, staring up at him with those big brown eyes of hers. He was confused on what or who exactly she was talking about so he looked around to see if there was anyone else with them, but sure enough, they were alone. “Who?” He asked as he turned his gaze back to the kid. “Bad people…” Was all that the girl was able to get out before flinching as another crack of lightning lit up the sky. Now Joel was really confused. What did she mean by bad people? Fedra?

“It’s just you and me here, kid, no one else. Where are your parents? They’re probably worried sick looking for you.” Joel asked as he slipped his gun into his holster, flicking on the flashlight that was attached to his backpack. At his question, the kid just looked at him with as much confusion as he was giving her, as if she didn’t understand the question at all. “Is there anyone out there looking for you? Are you from the orphanage or something?” Joel asked her, this time kneeling down to her level so he wouldn’t seem so threatening. The little girl was quiet for a moment before speaking quietly. “M-Marlene is looking for me…” She said softly, not looking Joel directly in the eyes

Marlene, that name rang a bell for Joel. The only Marlene he knew was the leader of the Fireflies. If that was the case, what the hell was she doing looking for some kind of kid? It wasn’t her kid right? No, of course not. Marlene is too concerned with firefly matters than having a kid of her own. Could it be her though? “Is Marlene tall with curly black hair?” Joel then asked the little girl to which she slowly and hesitantly nodded. “I know her, she’s uh a friend of mine. I could take you back to her in the morning when it’s not too dark and pouring down rain.” He then offered her as he held out a hand to the child to help her up off the ground. She eyed him cautiously before reaching her own hand out to take his. Her hand was so tiny compared to his massive calloused one

Joel didn’t know why he was helping this kid. It wasn’t like he was doing it out of the kindness of his own heart. Anyone who knew him knew that he wasn’t kind or caring in any sort. He was an intimidating and cruel drug dealer and smuggler who wouldn’t hesitate to crush your skull if you wronged him. But today, something inside him pushed to help this little girl. He didn’t know if it was just to let his conscience be at ease since he knew damn well he couldn’t leave her alone in the rain, given that she was just barely a toddler. Or maybe it was his old fatherly instinct kicking in after all these years. If that was the case he would be surely surprised. He was certain that that instinct died with Sarah the night he lost her. Either way, he didn’t know for sure, all he knew was that he needed to help her

“My name is Joel.” He tells her as he helps the little girl up to her feet, slowly standing up himself. The girl is quiet for a moment before speaking. “Ellie.” Is all that she says to him, still looking up at him with those big brown eyes of hers. “Well, Ellie, my apartment isn’t too far from here. You can stay with me there if you’d like until the morning. Then I’ll take you back to Marlene.” He offered to her, wanting to know if she was okay with this before committing to it. Ellie only nodded firmly, still clutching to Joel’s hand with both of her own. “Alrighty then, let’s go.” Joel said with a nod back before the pair began to leave the alleyway together, heading out into the street and in the direction of Joel’s apartment, hand in hand

Chapter Text

The walk back to Joel’s apartment was fairly quick, seeing as he and Ellie both wanted to get out of the rain. As soon as the two of them made their way inside the building and into his apartment, Joel took a second to breathe after the two of them had booked it back to his place. Even though he was capable enough of bashing someone’s head in, he was still old and needed a moment to breathe. But as he took a breather, he watched as Ellie looked around the room curiously, looking at everything as if she had never seen it before. Now that they were both in a well lit room, Joel began to take in what Ellie really looked like

Her clothes were old and tattered, holes torn into parts of the old nightgown that clung to her skin. She was dirty, spots of dirt covered her skin and mixed with the freckles that spotted her skin. It looked like she hadn’t bathed in weeks. The QZ was lucky to have power and running water, so if Marlene was taking care of her, couldn’t she have the common decency to at least bathe her? Shaking his head, Joel walked over into the kitchen, passing Ellie on the way. He was certain that she must be hungry, and he couldn’t just let her go hungry while she was staying with him

While rummaging through his cabinets, Joel managed to find a couple cans of peaches that were still good to eat. That should hold her over for a good while. “Ellie?” He called, looking back at the kid who hadn’t left the spot where she stood in the living room. Once he caught her attention, he held up the can to show her to which she nodded slowly in response before walking over to join him in the kitchen. Once he got one of the cans opened, he dumped the contents of it into a bowl before grabbing a fork and bringing it over to the table, motioning for her to have a seat which she did

As Joel placed the bowl in front of her, Ellie stared at it for a moment before shifting her gaze over to Joel, a look of hesitation in her eyes. “It’s alright, you can eat it. It’s all yours.” He reassured her as he motioned towards the bowl for her to eat. Almost like a switch had been flipped inside Ellie’s brain, she immediately grabbed the fork and began to devour the peaches, shoving each peach slice into her mouth as quickly as possible. She ate with such a ferver that Joel wondered when exactly was the last time she had eaten. Sure sometimes food is a bit scarce in the QZ but usually people would have access to food. Especially the fireflies given that he guessed that they had their own stash

More and more things were starting to concern Joel the more he learned about and studied Ellie. The fact that she had eaten like she hadn’t eaten in weeks, her torn clothes and dirt covered skin. Hell, she looked like she had come from outside the QZ in her condition. But still, it was too early on for Joel to make any real kind of assumptions. Besides, why did he care anyways? After he dropped her off tomorrow, he would never see her again. She would be back in Marlene’s care. She probably just looked and acted the way she did because she had been lost for a good while. She’ll be happy to be back with Marlene. At least that’s what Joel told himself

Once Ellie finished up eating, which was only in about a minute or two, Joel took the empty bowl from her and placed it in the sink. After finishing, Ellie had gone back to just standing in the middle of the living room, unsure of what to do. Once Joel saw this, he sighed quietly to himself. He needed to give her something to do at least so she wouldn’t just be standing in the middle of the room the whole time. Rummaging through his things on a nearby shelf in the kitchen, he managed to find a few pieces of paper and a box of colored pencils. “Hey kid, you like to draw?” He called as he came walking over to Ellie and held out the paper and colored pencils to her, but she only stared back at him in confusion

“You know, draw?” Joel repeated himself, making a motion with his hand indicating drawing, but still Ellie stared at him with nothing but blank confusion. How the hell did this kid not know what drawing was? “Okay look, here, have a seat.” He then told her as he sat down on the ground, placing the papers on the floor in front of him with the pencils, Ellie soon followed suit as she sat down beside him on the ground. Grabbing one of the pencils, Joel began to draw something simple, a tree. As he drew the tree, he could feel Ellie’s eyes on him, focusing intently on his every move, like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen

“There, you see? That’s drawing. How about you give it a shot?” Joel asked as he held out the pencil to the kid to which she took into her much smaller hands before she began to make work at the paper, doodling nonsensical drawings and pictures that Joel could just barely make out. But she was preoccupied at least, that would keep her busy for a while. Joel decided to leave her to her own devices but just as he was about to get up, he noticed something that he somehow didn’t see before

Scars. Precise straight lines littered her arms in such strange patterns. Some were more pale than others and some were messy, most likely from some kind of struggle. This was immediately setting off alarm bells in Joel’s head. No four year old should have scars like those. Those scars were given to her by someone else. And he had a hunch on who

Getting up from where he was sitting, Joel left Ellie to draw, still staying close by in the room in case she needed him for anything. After a good few hours or so, a bit after dark, he noticed that Ellie had fallen asleep where she was on the floor, laying beside her drawings as she snoozed away on the ground. Joel of course couldn’t just leave her to sleep there, so he quietly got up from where he was sitting on the couch and moved over to her small sleeping body, carefully picking her up and moving her over to the couch before laying her down on the cushions. Once he laid her down, he grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and covered her up with it, making sure that she was warm

As soon as Joel knew that Ellie was safe and sound asleep, he moved over and grabbed his coat and backpack, but as he passed by the coloring supplies that were left on the floor by Ellie, he spotted one of the pictures she drew and picked it up to get a closer look. It was hard to make out at first, but Joel recognized two prominent stick figures that stood together in the middle of the drawing. One was much taller with a beard and the other was much shorter with long brown hair. She had drawn them together and they looked happy

Joel could feel his heart twisting inside his chest. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was starting to grow attached to Ellie. And it seemed that she was growing attached to him all the same. Shaking his head, Joel placed the drawing back on the floor before grabbing his jacket and backpack and slipping them on. As he headed for the door, he shot one last lingering glance at Ellie sleeping on the couch. She would be safe if he locked the door, and he would be back as soon as possible. “She’ll be safe.” He told himself before walking out the front door and locking it behind him and walking out of the apartment building. He had a Firefly to meet

Chapter Text

The Firefly base was on the edge of the easternmost part of the QZ. Joel knew it well considering he and his business partner, Tess, had often traded with them, especially with Marlene. She seemed to be one of the few people who actually seemed to try to hold up her end of their bargains. So they traded often, meaning Joel knew the path right to the Fireflies base and how to get there in as quick an amount of time as possible. He made sure to take the dark alleyways most of the way to avoid being spotted by patrolling FEDRA guards looking for anyone outside past curfew

Eventually, Joel finally came upon the dark building. To the average person, it looked like any other abandoned building that was scattered all throughout the QZ, but Joel knew well that this was where the Fireflies were hiding. Making his way into the building, he traversed the dark hallways, flashlight shining from his backpack strap to light the way in front of him. Sure enough, it wasn’t long before he began to find people walking in an out of each room that he passed by, all of them in their own conversations about Firefly manners

Nobody was really alarmed that Joel was there, most of them knew him and how he traded with Marlene, so they didn’t pull their guns on him as he passed by. Soon enough, Joel made it to the main room of the building where most of the Fireflies seemed to be located, all he had to do was find Marlene. He talked to a few of the Fireflies he actually knew and each one of them pointed down the hall towards an office just to the right, that’s where Queen Firefly was

Joel soon made his way down to the closed office door and took a breath before knocking on it, soon heading a short and curt “Come in” coming from the other side. As soon as he heard it, he opened the door and sure enough standing on the other side was Marlene. She looked haggard and worn, dark circles plaguing the underside of her eyes. She looked to be in complete disarray. “Joel? What are you doing here? We don’t have any deals to make.” Marlene asked in confusion once she saw him walk into her office

“Oh you know, I was in the neighborhood. Figured I’d stop by for a visit.” Joel replied, sarcasm heavy in his tone as he walked up to her desk. Marlene only rolled her eyes and scoffed. “I don’t have time for this, I’ve got too much on my plate already.” She seethed, already annoyed before Joel even walked in. “Then I’ll just cut to the chase.” Joel told her simply as he rested his palms on the desk in front of him. “Earlier today, I came across a little girl in an alleyway. She was alone and scared, but she told me that you were looking for her.” He explained to the woman standing in front of him

Joel could just barely finish his sentence before Marlene looked at him with wide open eyes. “Ellie? You’ve found her? Tell me where she is. Is she with you?” She fired out, her tone filled with what Joel thought was desperation. He had never heard the leader of the Fireflies beg before. But nevertheless, he needed Marlene to answer his questions before he told her where Ellie was. “She’s safe for now. That’s all that matters.” He told her, purposefully being vague. “But before I tell you anything, I need you to answer some of my questions.” He then told her, his tone firm

Marlene stared at him for a moment before sighing quietly and nodding, agreeing to his terms. “Why do you have Ellie in the first place?” Joel started out, looking down at Marlene as she sat down in the chair across from him. “You won’t believe me if I tell you.” She told him simply, thinking he would leave it at that but he persisted. “Try me.” He told her before sitting down in his own chair. Joel could see the gears turning in Marlene’s mind, her jaw clenching as she was debating on telling him the truth, but in the end she relented

“Ellie is immune.” She told him point blank, staring at him dead on. “I was there with her mother the day Ellie was born four years ago. Her mother got bit shortly before she was born. And then when she was dying, she gave Ellie to me to take care of her. I got careless. I left Ellie unattended one day thinking that we would be safe, but I was wrong. An infected got into the building we were hiding out in and found Ellie in her carrier. I had just barely made it in time before it could do any real damage to her, but I was still too late.” Marlene explained to him falling quiet for a few moments before continuing on

“I couldn’t bring myself to put Ellie down, not when she was only a baby. So I waited. Waited for the bite mark on her arm to get worse but it never did. That was a little under four years ago. She’s still here, she’s still alive.” Marlene eventually finished explaining as she looked over at Joel across from her who was deathly quiet. He was working over what she had told him inside his head. Ellie was immune? But that was impossible. There’s never been any immune people ever. But maybe…just maybe it was possible? Joel never took Marlene as a liar and given how genuine she sounded when she spoke, maybe she was telling the truth

“Alright…Now I want you to tell me about the scars on her arms.” Joel then asked, immediately jumping to the question he wanted answers to the most. Marlene was quiet, trying to think of the best way to go about answering his question. “With Ellie’s immunity, we thought we could figure out a way to somehow make a vaccine from it. But we had no concrete evidence that it might work, so we’ve been running experiments on her to test and see if we can somehow make a vaccine.” She explained in as best of a way as she could. But as soon as the words experiments left her mouth, she could see Joel’s gaze darken

“What kind of experiments?” He asked quietly, eyeing her intently. “Well at first we ran blood tests, thinking that maybe we could use some of her blood samples but they all came back negative. Then we tried to see if we could take a sample of the fungus that was growing inside of her, since as you know the cordyceps fungus grows underneath the skin. We’ve had to take several samples from her, which is why she has so many scars. Unfortunately we couldn’t put her under for these experiments so we had to do it while she was awake.” The way Marlene spoke so nonchalantly about how they were cutting Ellie open made Joel feel sick

How could she be so calm about this?! She was actively going out of her way to harm her all for the sake of some pipe dream? The image of Ellie writhing in agony on some table while people cut her open played inside his mind and made his stomach twist. She was only a baby, how could they do something so heartless to her? As if things couldn’t get worse, Marlene continued on. “Then we decided to run other tests on her to see how the cordyceps in her reacted to different kinds of medications and illnesses. Kept her in isolation during those times just in case something triggered the fungus to go off and infect her. We even put her in a room with a runner at one point.” Joel couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t stand the images that were playing in his mind of the torment that they were putting this little girl through

“That’s enough.” He hissed angrily as he stood up from his seat. “Excuse me?” Marlene asked as he watched him stand up. “I’ve heard enough. I knew you were desperate but I never thought you would stoop as low as actively harming a little girl for something you don’t even know is possible.” Joel spat, his gaze glaring daggers in her direction. He had never felt this way before, so protective of a kid he barely even knew, but hearing how carelessly Marlene put the child in harm’s way, how little she seemed to care, sent him into a blind protective rage.

“Joel, try to look at it from my perspective. If we can make a vaccine from her, think of how many lives we’ll be saving. What is one life compared to millions?” Now Marlene was standing up, leaning over the desk. Joel only shook his head in response, slamming his fist down on the desk. “She’s a baby! Do you not have any sort of guilt over what you’ve been doing to her? The pain you’ve put her through? The trauma you’ve given her?” He yelled at her, his gaze filled with nothing but rage

“It’s for the greater good of humanity.” Was all Marlene said in response to that, her tone cold. Joel heard enough at that point and backed away from the desk. “I’ve heard enough. I won’t let you keep doing this to her. We’re finished here.” He told her simply before turning his back to Marlene, heading to the door to leave. “You can’t keep her safe for long. One way or another we will find her.” Marlene called, her voice angry and certain. Joel simply shrugged his shoulders as he opened the door. “I’d like to see you try.” He hissed before leaving the Firefly building for the last time