Work Text:
Otto Octavius was working at his desk, trying not to think about anything other than his current goal. His mechanical arms were working almost perfectly, but there was still potential for improvement. He knew he couldn't afford to make any mistakes and that everything has to lack any flaws.
Adrian Toomes was watching him in silence, sitting at the opposite side of the small room. If he left, Octavius wouldn't probably even notice. And that's how he knew something was bothering his friend, more than usual. Something was way different than when he had seen him the last time. A spark of ambition and excitement in his eyes. A confidence in his movements. The gentleness of his voice. It was all gone, replaced by a strike of madness in everything he was doing. He had a goal, yes, but he was so hopelessly lost in it. It just didn't sit right with Toomes.
'There's more to it, isn't it?'
Otto didn't react for a moment, then he turned towards Adrian and asked:
'To what?'
Toomes knew that the conversation wouldn't be this easy. Something that clearly didn't change in Otto Octavius was his reluctance to discuss his feelings or any personal problems.
'To your personal vendetta against Norman Osborn. It isn't just a matter of work.'
He didn't ask, he just assumed. Nobody else on the team would start this topic with Octavius, hell, he didn't think anybody else would even care about it. He didn't blame them, of course, after all the work they all had been doing for years wasn't exactly focused on caring about other people's feelings.
'It is.'
'You're not a revenge type, Otto. Never been. I know that Osborn is an asshole, but I just don't understand how this could be your reason for all of this.'
'I don't see where you are going with this.'
Otto was starting to get annoyed. True, he didn't like to discuss his feelings. Especially when they were this… hurtful. And this personal.
Oh yes, the whole case with Norman Osborn was hurtful and it was personal.
'Listen, you know me,' continued Toomes, moving his chair closer to him. 'I don't care, really. Whatever this is about. But I'd like to know what I am getting myself into and why. Because there is a difference between this being a work matter or a personal matter.'
Otto sighed. Adrian was right and he knew him well enough to know he wasn’t really a gossip person. He wanted to know the truth, purely for practical reasons. And he deserved to know it, after all. He agreed to help Otto, so the least Otto had to do was to be honest with him.
‘Okay. So it is a personal matter, partially at least.’
Toomes nodded his head encouraging him to continue.
‘We were co-workers, as you know… Working on Devil’s Breath and lots of other stuff. I actually believed our work could change the world. I think… Norman…,’ he stuttered saying his past friend’s name, ‘believed that too. And I think he had some other reason. Some more personal one, he never told me about it. But I just know there was a personal reason. He wasn’t the kind of person to… to do this kind of stuff… wrong stuff… just for the sake of it. Maybe if he told me what it was, what was bothering him so much… Maybe we could have worked that out together. But he didn’t. He just got more and more determined, then more and more cruel and ruthless. I saw people being ruthless for science, of course. But that wasn't it. There were feelings. Something deep inside him was hurting. And I just like to think, I don’t know if that’s true, but I like to think that this was the reason behind everything that happened… between us, but not only between us. Between Norman and the world. Between Norman and his morality. But, anyway… this doesn’t change anything now. Whatever the reason was, he has to be stopped and I have to stop him.’
Adrian listened, Otto stopped and tried to smile, but failed, unable to hide his pain. He was thinking about it every day of the last few years, but saying all of this out loud opened a whole lot of new wounds in him.
‘I just wish it didn’t happen, you know? I only wish that I could have been given a chance to help him. That he would have let me help him.’ He felt a single tear running down his cheek and wiped it away with his hand quickly. ‘Everything could have been so much different. Everything could have been okay. We did terrible, terrible things… and God, how much I regret them. And how much I regret that we parted ways. I could have stopped all of it. But I didn’t back then. So I have to stop it now. There is just no other way.’
Toomes looked concerned. He knew Otto, not well, but he knew him and never before has he thought he would see him this vulnerable, this open and this honest about everything. He knew he had to go all the way now. Octavius was so broken and that made him really unstable for everything. Adrian had to know what he was dealing with. But also… something in what Otto has said… or maybe not what he has said but the way he said it, something made him genuinely feel pity for this man. And though he couldn’t do much to help him, he wanted to offer him any comfort he could.
‘You… you miss him, Otto.’
He meant to ask him that, but he was just too certain about the way he felt so he just accidentally said that as a fact.
Maybe Octavius needed to hear that said out loud, since he could never say that out loud himself, because for the first time since the beginning of this conversation he lifted his eyes and looked somewhere away with deep sadness.
‘I… yes, I do miss him. I do miss him a lot. And that’s another reason I need him gone. I know I won’t get him back. At least not as the person he once was.’
Adrian didn’t say a word, feeling that Otto needed a moment after this realization. Besides, there was no need for saying anything more, since Octavius started talking himself seconds later.
‘I admired him, Adrian. He was everything I wanted to be and… hell, he was everything I wanted. Like, in general. He was… he was beautiful, he was so incredibly smart and talented, he had so much potential and he had a mission he believed in. He was perfect. Before he got greedy, before he got lost, before he went mad. I…,’ Otto stopped again, this time not stopping the tears coming out of his eyes. ‘I loved him. I still do, probably. But I know what I have to do. And nothing will stop me.’
Adrian frowned in visible concern, walked up to Otto and put a hand on his shoulder.
‘I understand. Everything will be alright, old friend. Whatever you decide to do.’
Otto nodded.
‘Thank you, Adrian.’
Toomes gave him one more comforting smile and left the room. Otto was left alone; alone with his thoughts about wasted potential. No matter how much he realized about his feelings towards Norman Osborn, it was way too late for that. This relationship was a lost cause and nothing could change that unquestionable fact.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Norman Osborn was just starting to close the door behind his personal mercenary bodyguard, Silvija Sablinova, when the woman looked at him and asked:
‘Is everything alright, mr. Osborn?’
He didn’t expect this question, especially coming from her. She was a professional and he respected that, he also felt like she didn’t personally even like him. But, did anybody at this point? He might have been powerful, but the process of getting powerful was always a lonely one. And making or keeping friends is not a part of it.
‘Yes, I… I guess.’
‘Do you need anything else?’
He hesitated, but then shook his head.
‘Thank you, miss Sablinova, but I think I will be alright.’
She nodded her head and turned back to leave, but then she stopped again.
‘I know I probably shouldn’t say that… but if you need to talk to somebody… What I’m saying is, I’m not much of a talker myself but I could always listen, you know.’
He was even more surprised when she proposed that. Of course, he was paying her a truckload of money, but certainly not for being his therapist. He felt that this proposition was honest. Probably because of pity and probably because Silver Sable, unlike him, had some basic human decency and empathy for another human being. But still, that was a lot more than anybody has offered him in a long time.
‘I look that bad, huh?’
‘You do.’
He chuckled and opened the door wider, letting her in.
‘If you really have nothing better to do.’
She walked through the door coming back to his apartment.
‘Anything to drink?’
‘Thanks, I have to get to the hotel somehow.’
‘I could always send somebody to drive you.’
‘I appreciate, but I prefer to get to the hotel by myself.’
‘Sure. Maybe some tea, then?’
‘Uh… yeah, why not.’
He went to the kitchen and started to brew tea. He made himself a drink, not too strong, but it was a matter of ritual. He realized it might have been a problem, but he couldn’t care less. Everything has been a problem lately.
He handed Sable her tea and then sat on his chair. He looked out the window and took a sip of his drink.
‘So… Octavius. That bothers you, doesn’t it?’
He was surprised she read him that well. Of course it was Octavius that bothered him, but how the hell did she manage to see that?
‘Oh, I really thought I was a little bit harder to uncover.’
‘Not my place to judge. In my work, you just have to read other people. It’s a matter of life and death sometimes. And you… I saw how you flinched what I mentioned his name. It wasn’t a kind of reaction you get hearing about somebody trying to kill you. That was… something else. Something deeper, perhaps.’
On the first impulse, he wanted to yell at her and tell her to leave. But he invited her himself and he just wasn’t that much of an asshole to do that. He didn’t expect to have a therapeutic session here with a mercenary he hired to protect him, but maybe that was the only chance he would get, he would agree to get.
‘Damn, you’re one smart mercenary, you know that?’
She shrugged her shoulders.
‘I wouldn’t be there anymore if I wasn’t.’
She gave him time. She knew he was going to open soon enough and she didn’t want to push him more than she had to. And the man needed to talk, he needed to make a confession. Everything in his body, his eyes not focused on anything specific behind the window, the nervous bouncing of his leg, his scratching of one of his fingers, the almost unnoticeable shaking, all of it was telling her that this here is a very troubled and lost person. Who just needed to get something off his chest.
‘Octavius… Otto… yeah, I flinched. Didn’t even notice that, but I’m sure you’re right. You know we don’t have a very pleasant relationship… I am doing some rather shitty things to him and his work. But it wasn’t always like that and… oh, I fucked up. So, so bad.’
Sable didn’t answer, but was listening to him carefully. She could get some important information about her client, but she didn’t think any personal stuff Osborn and Octavius had going on were about to change anything at this moment. But she wanted to let Norman talk.
‘I wasn’t honest to him. I should have, but I wasn’t. It could have gone so much differently if only I was honest to him. But I was too afraid he wouldn’t approve and he would back out. I needed his help. He is so incredibly smart, he’s brilliant. He was the only person I could trust, and I couldn’t force myself to risk that.’
His lips tightened, he was visibly starting to hold back tears. Something Silver Sable didn’t even expect Norman Osborn to have.
‘I needed help… to save my son. He is everything to me, you have to understand that. Do you have children, miss Sable?’
‘I don’t. But I can imagine how important they can be to their parents.’
‘Right… he is the most important thing in the whole world. I did terrible things to help him or maybe only hoping they could help him. And I would do a lot more. The world can burn, I don’t care, as long as my Harry is alright.’
He didn’t talk about Harry this honestly to anybody ever before. And he regretted that so much. Because if he only talked to Otto, everything could have gone so much differently and everything could have been okay.
‘I should have told Otto about it. He would understand. He wouldn’t leave me and he would have helped me. He admired me so much, I don’t even know why, but I’m pretty sure he did. If he only knew how much I admired him.’
He stopped, took another sip of his drink, but this didn’t help with the tears. They began to run down his cheeks. He clenched his hand on the glass trying to get himself together.
‘I’m looking at all of it now and… I loved him, miss Sablinova. I tried to tell myself that it isn’t love, I denied it before myself for so long, but now I really think it’s true. And that it didn’t fade away. And that this is why everything I did to him was so hurtful. This is why I couldn’t even look him in the eyes when I met him all those times. Such a simple, childish reason. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Otto Octavius wants to kill me and I really think I would like him to succeed, if not for Harry. If not my boy, I would probably shoot myself in the head many years ago. But I know I just can’t die, not after how far I had gone and not since there is still a chance to cure Harry. But if I was to die, I truly do believe Otto has every right to end my life.’
Saying all of it out loud didn’t really help. He felt extremely vulnerable and he regretted that he confessed all of it to somebody. He couldn’t stop the tears and he couldn’t even remember when was the last time he cried. He felt weak.
‘Leave,’ he growled suddenly.
He realized that saying this in such a harsh tone made him feel even worse about himself. Why was he such a bad person? What the fuck had happened? He could have been everything. He could have been better. He could have done good things.
‘I’m sorry, I… I’m sorry you had to listen to all of this. I shouldn’t have told you, it’s none of your business and I only took your time. I’m sorry, miss Sablinova. If you could…’
She stood up.
‘It’s alright, mr. Osborn. You don’t have to be sorry.’
‘Thank you, and… I am sorry anyway.’
She nodded her head.
‘I’ll see myself to the door. And, mr. Osborn… take care. I don’t want to say that everything is going to be alright as it most probably won’t be… but yeah. You’ll get by somehow.’
She left and Norman was alone once again. Sure, he’ll get by. He always does. He just wished he didn’t have to.
He hid his face in his hands and cried.
He was a lost cause.