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Vio feels a sort of rumble on his back, the sound of a train passing by is loud in his right ear, a little deafening. He opens his eyes in slow flutters until he’s blinking the haze of sleep out of his system and he finds himself staring at a ceiling of a train station.
Train station. Train station?
He sits up, startled and confused as to why he’s suddenly lying on the floor of a train station, why no one even bothered to call him out. He wonders what kind of stupidity he pulled this time to end up in this predicament—did he faint? Did Aqui leave him all alone? Was he knocked out by something or someone? Vio looks around, trying to make sense of his situation until.
What?
Bakit walang tao?
There’s a hefty silence now hanging in the air and Vio—he’s freaking out, anxiety gnawing at his throat because where is he? Why is he here? Was he drunk? But he can’t remember drinking and getting screwed with liquor to reach this point of idiocy; waking up in the train station with no recollection of the events that happened prior to him ending up here.
“Vio.”
Vio gasps loudly at the voice, heart pounding hard inside his chest and when he looks up—
Baliw na ata ako.
He looks up to see…himself. Himself? That’s crazy. Why can he see himself? How can he see himself? What the fuck is happening? He feels as though every moment that’s about to come will push him gradually into madness until he’ll reach a point where he loses every inch of his sanity.
This is crazy. That’s Vio standing in front of Vio and this sounds fucking crazy inside his head. The Vio standing in front of him seems cooler though, more savoir faire—like he carries himself with finesse. His hair is dark, he lacks the high prescription glasses, he’s wearing a black leather jacket and a choker, and tight jeans, and platform boots and fuck, he looks like the version Vio always dreamed himself to be. It gets even crazier because never in his life has he called himself cool and he swore he’ll never wear clothes that would make him look like that but here he is.
This is insane. He’s gone insane.
“Tititigan mo lang ba ‘ko?”
“Si-sino ka…?”
That’s a stupid question, he mentally scolds himself, but Vio doesn’t seem to find the query pathetic.
“Ako si Vio pero—in a different universe, surprisingly.”
“In a—in a what?”
“Different universe,” Vio reiterates and Vio gapes at him because he can’t wrap his mind around this whole situation he got himself in.
“Nababaliw na ‘ko, bakit ako nandito?”
Vio shrugs. “Ewan,” the latter offers his hand to the doctor who’s still sitting on the floor. “Tayo ka diyan, hindi naman pwedeng dito lang tayo.”
So Vio takes Vio’s outstretched hand and stands up, brushing off the dirt on his pants before following behind the other who already starts walking.
“Bakit ka nandito?” he questions, fixing his glasses that were lopsidedly resting on his nose bridge.
“May hinihintay ako eh,” Vio answers and there’s a small, warm smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Ikaw? Ay—’di mo nga pala alam.”
“Bakit—” Vio pauses, reluctant to ask the other but the need to know more answers prevail. “Bakit ganyan suot mo?”
The latter laughs. “Ano meron sa suot ko?”
“Wala naman it’s just…” he trails off, lips pursed into a thin line before saying, “you look like a rockstar, kinda.”
Vio chuckles and suddenly he’s twirling a drum stick on his fingers. “Because I am a rockstar.”
Vio all but gawks in utter shock. This—this version of himself is a fucking rockstar, not a doctor taking care of kids and burying himself in countless paperwork inside an office that smells of antiseptic. This version of himself makes music, a passion he wanted to pursue but had to let go for practicality.
Holy fuck.
“You’re…a rockstar?”
“I am. I’m a drummer.”
And a fucking drummer. He can’t bring himself to believe he’s a cool person in a different universe.
“I’m a doctor,” Vio says even though the drummer didn’t ask. “Pediatrician.”
“So, you chose that path, huh?”
“Yeah,” Vio replies, a little breathless, a little sad. “You pursued music.”
“Oo. I love it, making music and playing the drums,” the drummer kicks a pebble out of the way, the small rock rolling down onto the train tracks. “I couldn’t let my parents take that away from me. It’s my future, it’s mine to control.”
Oh.
The doctor feels a little conscious-stricken at his life choices (that he didn’t choose, mind you) but it’s somehow good to know and hear that this version of himself, this Vio was a lot braver and firmer in what he wants that he got to shape his future into his palms, that he’s more courageous than he’ll ever be. Yet there’s still this slight envy and jealousy that starts to make its way into his lungs and chest.
But he can’t blame this Vio—it’s not his fault that Vio, doctor Vio, is too much of a wimp to risk and reach for what he wants so he opts for a safer option, a circumspect route.
“Nasunod si Mama at Papa?”
Vio hums.
“I can’t really blame you; it took me a lot of fucking balls to defy them.”
“And you still did it.”
“What’s stopping you from doing the same thing?”
Vio looks down at his feet, at the grey concrete. “I’m 27, it’s too late.”
“It’s never too late.”
Silence makes its way back into the air with only the sounds of Vio’s boots making contact on the concrete ground. The doctor’s not sure where they’re headed, or what their destination is, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care, besides—the train station seems to stretch infinitely.
“Are you still an easily anxious person? Because I am.”
Vio chuckles. “I am. I’m full of it, I think, but I have someone and he’s good at placating the voices.”
“He sounds nice.”
“Oh, he is,” Vio says and there’s a fond smile on his lips, one that looks like he’s irrevocably in love with this person. Maybe he is. “He’s not perfect but he’s the best and I love him, I won’t trade him for anything else.”
So, he is in love. All the good things seem to happen to this version of himself.
“Do you still love Mcdonalds?”
“Very.”
“Anime?”
“Updated ako sa Chainsaw Man—if that exists sa universe mo,” Vio shares.
“Do you like someone?”
Vio shakes his head.
“Do you want to love someone? Have someone love you?”
Bakit ito na ‘yung mga tanong? Vio thinks but he doesn’t complain.
“Oo, syempre, sino naman may ayaw nyan?” he answers, hands now tucked inside the pocket of his baggy pants.
“You know how there are always two people who are meant to meet in every reality or universe,” Vio looks at the drummer who fiddles with his hand and he notices, for the first time, the silver band justly wrapped around Vio’s ring finger like it’s made to be there. “I like to think that you’ll meet him soon enough—or maybe you already did, hindi mo lang alam.”
Vio gapes at the drummer, confused, a little lost, but he doesn’t get to question it when he suddenly hears a voice—so gentle sounding that it tickles his ears. It’s familiar like he knows it from somewhere.
“Ai,” the voice calls and Vio’s heartstrings are tugged. “Where are you?”
The drummer stops fiddling with the silver band on his ring finger and an adoring grin makes its way to his lips as he looks ahead, as he looks at the figure waiting just in front of a pole that Vio didn’t notice before. The figure waves at them or maybe only at Vio and the doctor notices—like he’s meant to see them—the same silver band on the latter’s right ring finger.
“That’s him,” Vio says, and he looks happy. “Bye, doc. Good luck!”
Goodluck? Para saan ‘yon?
Before Vio can ask what the fuck that means, the drummer runs toward the figure and engulfs him in a hug, giving him a kiss on the cheek too. The doctor tries to see what the man looks like but no matter how hard he squints his eyes, he can’t seem to discern the face. It’s like a blur but at the same time, it’s not.
“Hi, my love.”
He swore this voice is something he had heard before.
“Are you ready to come back home?”
Vio wakes up with tears in his eyes and cheeks.
The TV in front of him is playing a movie that seems to just reach the halfway mark. Judging by the art style and colors, it’s a studio ghibli movie but he’s still a bit disoriented from his dream to fully process which movie this is. He feels someone pawing on his thigh and he looks down to see a black cat, Delilah, making biscuits on the fabric of his baggy jeans.
“You’re awake,” a voice says. “You fell asleep when we’re nearing the middle of Spirited Away but I—hey? Why are you crying?”
Vio looks up this time, looks up at Cai who is holding a paper bag of Mcdonalds and an iced coffee in his hands, a look of concern painted across his face. The doctor wipes the tears on his cheeks, wondering why he was crying.
“I had a dream,” he says.
“A bad one?”
The couch dips beside him and before he knows it, Cai is already cupping his face and wiping the remaining tears away with his thumb, the paper bag and iced coffee placed on his lap carefully.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, if it’s a bad dream, don’t think about it too much. Are you hungry?” the guitarist asks, taking out Vio’s usual order from the paper bag and placing it on the coffee table. “I ordered Mcdonalds.”
Vio laughs, sniffing. “Kabisado mo na order ko.”
Cai chuckles nervously, cheeks flushing into a faint shade of pink. “It’s not that hard to memorize.”
“As much as I want to eat this here, I need to go home kasi may pasok ako mamaya,” Vio says, giving Cai a coy apologetic smile.
“Oh, it’s okay! You can take the food with you,” the guitarist puts the food back in the bag, handing it to Vio with a smile on his face. “I’ll drive you back to your place.”
The doctor doesn’t protest, only nodding in agreement. “CR lang ako saglit.”
He makes his way into the comfort room and washes his face to remove the dried tear tracts, maybe even blowing his nose because he sounds different. After that, he comes out of the comfort room and finds Cai standing on the side of the couch, Mcdonalds paper bag, iced coffee, and keys in hand as he waits for Vio.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he calls, grinning. “Are you ready to come back home?”
A sense of familiarity struck him, but he didn't pay it any mind. He can’t vividly remember his dream now, anyway.
“Yeah, I’m ready.”