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Alicent whimpered when she felt the bed dip behind her, stiffening instinctively as she awaited the feeling of greedy hands pawing at her body and forcing her up onto her hands and knees. Her eyes squeezed shut.
“Shh. It’s all right, Ali. It’s only me.”
Relief surged through her as she recognized Rhaenyra’s voice, her body swiftly becoming relaxed and pliant for her darling. A warm hand gently stroked her naked side—the man did not allow her nightclothes—soothing her even further. “I did not think you would come to me tonight,” she whispered.
Soft lips kissed the back of her neck as Rhaenyra settled in behind her, pulling her close so that Alicent’s back was flush with her front. “I knew you needed me.”
Gods, she most certainly did. Her day had been utterly exhausting—as they had been for four dreadful years now—and the aches and soreness still lingered. The littlest pup had not ceased wailing for longer than five minutes at a time, and the elder boy had decided that it would be great fun to utterly ruin all of her efforts to tidy up. The younger boy had been little better, though at least his messes had not seemed so malicious.
As always, the man had offered neither aid nor comfort. For all that he had so desired these pups, he seemed to have little interest in actually caring for them.
Had Rhaenyra been here, Alicent knew that she would have helped her. Rhaenyra was much better with the pups—with these children—understanding them in a way that Alicent simply could not. These strange creatures were not hers, not truly. For all that she had been forced to bear them, they belonged to the man’s world. To Rhaenyra’s world. They would never know the joys of slipping into their sealskins, of becoming one with the waves, of diving deep and seeing the shining world beneath the surface of the sea.
Her hand found Rhaenyra’s where it rested on her swollen belly, intertwining their fingers and clinging tight. This pup would be her fourth in as many years, and the prospect of laboring to bring it into the world was as daunting now as it had been the first time. This was not the way. This was not how things should be. This was not what she had ever desired for herself.
If only she’d been faster . . . that day the man had stolen her skin.
“I think I’m getting closer, My Love,” Rhaenyra murmured, her warm breath tickling the back of Alicent’s neck.
Alicent’s heart stuttered in her chest. “Truly?” The word was little more than a quiet breath. She dared not believe, dared not hope. It had been so long since she’d even been allowed down to the beaches . . .
“Yes.” Rhaenyra kissed her neck again, sweet and warm and loving. “I think,” she hesitated, and now Alicent could hear the sadness underlying her affectionate and reassuring tone, “I think I’ll have found your skin before you’re brought to the birthing bed again.”
Alicent’s entire body shuddered with relief, and yet a small part of her felt almost . . . mournful. Not for the life that she would be escaping, of course, nor for the man and his tiresome brood, but for the sweet young woman holding her as if she was something precious. She still did not understand how someone as gentle and kind as Rhaenyra could have been sired by the man. Darling Rhaenyra, who had been her only comfort these long years that she’d been trapped in this stone prison, who had shown her naught but kindness from the first day that she’d been dragged here.
She brought their joined hands up to her lips, kissing the back of Rhaenyra’s. “Thank you, My Nyra.” Shifting a little, she tried to roll over to face her, but her bulging belly would not allow the movement. She growled in frustration. Everything was so cumbersome on land. There was no buoyancy!
“Let me help you, My Love.” Rhaenyra sat up and reached out to gently roll her onto her other side.
Whales move more gracefully. Alicent managed a small smile once she was settled, pleased that she could now see her Rhaenyra. Illuminated as she was in the moonlight, her breathtaking silver hair reminded Alicent of rippling waves. “Will you please kiss me, Nyra?” She’d been craving the taste of her darling’s lips for much of the day, especially after the man had seen fit to take her that morning, as if she could somehow become any more swollen with his whelp.
Smiling softly, Rhaenyra leaned down and connected their lips, and, for a brief moment, Alicent could almost pretend that she was back home.
∞
It had been raining, the day that her father had brought Alicent to the castle. At first, Rhaenyra had been confused by the sight of a young girl no older than herself trailing in her father’s wake, each step seeming as if it required all of her effort and concentration to manage. Her confusion had soon shifted to concern when she’d noticed that the girl was naked save for her father’s cloak. For a brief moment, she’d thought that her father must have saved her from something terrible.
But then her father had spoken, smiling more brightly than he had since her mother had died six moons before, and his words had chilled Rhaenyra to her bones. “Rhaenyra, this is Alicent. She is to be my new wife.”
She could still remember the sound of Alicent weeping that first night, her sobs barely muffled by the wall that separated her bedchamber from Rhaenyra’s. Any lingering doubts that she might have had about whether or not Alicent wished to be wed to her father were thoroughly laid to rest after that.
When she’d spoken to her father the next day, demanding to know who exactly Alicent was and why he was marrying her, she’d witnessed his wroth for the first time in her life. He had not raised his hand to her, had hardly even raised his voice, but the thunderous expression on his face had been more than enough for her to never dare raise the matters again.
So she’d gone to Alicent instead, finding her seated by a window overlooking the garden. She remembered the way that Alicent had startled, how she had cowered away from her. Even thinking about it now still made her heart ache. She’d done her best to soothe the other girl, but most of her efforts had been in vain. It would not be until Alicent was heavy and round with Aegon that the two of them would begin to form a tentative friendship, and it was not until Alicent was carrying Aemond less than a year later that they would share their first kiss.
Alicent had finally told her the truth shortly after the first time they’d made love. As she’d laid curled up in Rhaenyra’s arms, soft and pliant, beautifully flushed and still half-drunk from her first pleasurable bedding experience, Alicent had whispered the secrets of her past to her. She’d told her about being a selkie, about how her father had stolen her sealskin to make her his prisoner, about how that fateful day had been the first time she’d been brave enough to shed her sealskin and walk on land.
By that time, Rhaenyra had already been disgusted by her father’s actions, by his willingness to wed and bed and get with child a girl barely older than herself, by how he ignored Alicent during the day and seemed not to care at all about how plainly miserable she was, by how he ignored the children that she’d given him yet continued forcing her to bear more all the same. Learning the full horror of what he’d done to Alicent . . . It had shattered whatever fragile love for him had remained to her.
That night, she’d promised Alicent that she would find her sealskin, that she would set her free. Alicent had smiled at her, tears in her eyes, had kissed her lovingly, but it had been plain enough that she did not believe her.
Which had only made Rhaenyra all the more determined to fulfill her vow.
A year and a half later, and she could almost taste victory.
In all of the stories that she’d heard and read about selkies, the husbands usually hid their wives’ sealskins nearby: buried somewhere close or perhaps hidden away in a locked chest. It was why most selkie women were able to escape back to the sea, leaving behind the men who had imprisoned them and any children that they may have been forced to bear.
Her father had not done the same. She’d discovered after moons of fruitlessly searching the castle grounds that he’d instead sold Alicent’s sealskin, no doubt assuming that he would never see it again. An ultimately foolish decision, in Rhaenyra’s opinion. Had the merchant realized what he had, he could just as easily have come to claim Alicent for himself.
Thankfully, a selkie’s skin did not much look like a true sealskin at all. Had it been otherwise, she suspected that Alicent’s skin would have been destroyed long ago, transformed into a piece of clothing or used to decorate furniture. She grimaced at the very thought. Alicent had not told her what happened to a selkie whose skin was destroyed, but according to Laena, some tales claimed that selkies died if they truly lost their skin in such a way. Seven bleeding Hells, what had her father been thinking, not keeping Alicent’s skin safe and close by?
She knew the answer. And it only made her hate him all the more.
Shoving those dark thoughts aside, she squared her shoulders and marched into the innocuous little shop that was tucked between the town’s bakery and chandlery. The sign hanging overhead read “The Winter Rose,” and she knew from her inquiries that the two women who owned the shop collected and sold a rather eclectic blend of wares from all over Westeros and even some from Essos. “Eccentrics,” most called them, though whether that was because of the items in their shop or the fact that neither had ever married remained unclear.
When she walked inside, she was greeted by a tall redhead, whose cheerful smile grew even brighter when she took note of Rhaenyra’s gown. “Welcome, My Lady. Is there anything that I can help you find?”
Rhaenyra hesitated, eyes flicking from the redhead to the brunette who was dusting off some glass baubles and more like than not only pretending not to be listening. “I heard from a friend that this shop recently acquired a . . . fox fur cloak. I would very much like to see it.”
The redhead’s eyes narrowed for a split second before her polite mask slipped back into place. “Of course.” She looked over her shoulder. “Margaery, would you mind?”
The brunette—Margaery—swiftly set the duster aside and disappeared into the backroom.
The redhead turned back to Rhaenyra, still smiling, but with a new sharpness in her eyes. “I’m surprised that a lady of your standing would come here for a new cloak. Surely there are finer establishments that would gladly accept your patronage.”
Rhaenyra raised an eyebrow. “Is that to say that you do not wish to accept my patronage?”
“I would be a rather poor shopkeep were I to even imply such a thing.”
Before either of them could say more, Margaery emerged from the back with a beautiful auburn-colored cloak draped over her arm. No one with any knowledge of animal fur could ever mistake the material for fox, but no one who had ever seen a seal would believe that it was sealskin, either.
It required all of Rhaenyra’s self-control and her mother’s lessons in decorum to prevent her from simply snatching Alicent’s skin from Margaery and rushing home with it. For there was no doubt in her mind that this was her beloved’s skin. It was the exact same shade as her hair, looked just as Alicent had described it to her.
Margaery spread the cloak out on a nearby table before presenting it with a flourishing gesture. “Was this the cloak your friend referred to, My Lady?”
“Yes.” Rhaenyra was only barely managing to conceal the eagerness in her voice. She approached the table, hand reaching out to touch the cloak, but then she thought better of it. This was Alicent’s skin. She should not touch it any more than was strictly necessary. She looked between the two women. “Name your price.” The words slipped from her mouth without her meaning them to.
The redhead frowned, but Margaery was smiling slightly, eyes glinting shrewdly. “You are not a very good haggler, My Lady.”
Rhaenyra forced herself to take a breath. She could not afford to make a mess of this. Alicent’s labors would begin any day now, and she needed to have her skin by then. After three babes, she knew well her father’s pattern. As soon as Alicent had recovered enough from the birth, he would begin taking her to his bed again to get her once more with child, and she did not think that her beloved’s spirit could handle the ordeal for a fifth time.
“Why are you so interested in this cloak, in particular?” Margaery drawled. “We have many others, you know. Sable, ermine, wool, velvet, damask,” she paused, “actual fox.”
“Margaery,” the redhead hissed.
Margaery only smiled at the other woman. “Be calm, Sansa. I do not believe that Her Ladyship means harm.” She arched an eyebrow at Rhaenyra, expectantly.
Rhaenyra was beginning to wonder if perhaps this was why people in town called Margaery and Sansa eccentric. But there was a strange knowing in Margaery’s eyes, and she suddenly remembered what Alicent had once told her about how some selkies—those who more frequently visited the land—had made friends among the humans.
“My interest in this cloak is not for myself,” she said slowly. “It is to be a gift for a dear friend of mine.” She paused, wondering if she was perhaps a complete fool. “The color matches her hair perfectly.”
“A dear friend,” Margaery repeated thoughtfully. She exchanged a brief look with Sansa before returning her attention to Rhaenyra. “A married friend?”
Her jaw clenched. “Yes.”
“I see.” Margaery slid the cloak from the table and began carefully folding it. “Marriage can be such a trial for some, or so I’ve been told. A pretty cloak such as this might make that trial more bearable, hmm?”
Rhaenyra nodded, knees almost buckling with relief. “Yes. I think it would.”
∞
Alicent nervously wrung her hands as she awaited Rhaenyra’s return. Her darling had left early this morning—as she so oft did—to continue seeking her skin. Admittedly, when Rhaenyra had first promised to find her skin and set her free, Alicent had not believed her. For all that she had grown to care for Rhaenyra by then, she had not dared believe her. The man had shown her exactly how cruel and grasping humans could be, how their greed so easily dictated their actions. And some small, shameful part of her had feared that, even if Rhaenyra did find her skin, she would simply decide to keep it for herself and make Alicent hers in truth.
She no longer feared that possibility. Not after all of the time and effort her darling had expended on her quest. She understood now that Rhaenyra’s love for her outweighed any selfish desires she might harbor to possess her. Rhaenyra had shown her devotion in ways both great and small over the years, from the pretty bouquets that she would gift her with, to the tender way that she would kiss and hold her at night, to defending her against the man when he was too deep in his cups to properly see reason.
Alicent loved her. She was not sure when exactly it had happened, but she knew it to be true. In the same way that she could still feel the aching call of the sea each day, she knew that her love for Rhaenyra was true. And since the night that her darling had whispered to her that she was close to finding her skin, she had begun to wonder. She had begun to wonder if her love for Rhaenyra, if Rhaenyra’s love for her might be enough to—
The sound of a sharp cry split her ears, making her wince. She stood frozen for a moment, praying that the pup would settle on its own. But a second cry soon followed, and then a third. She longed to simply close her ears to the sound, to ignore it until the little creature exhausted itself. But she knew better. The man would grow angry if the pup was not silenced. Perhaps one of the tending humans might quiet the pup this time.
Much to her shock, the cries suddenly stopped.
Curious, she cautiously padded from her chambers and made her way to the nursery. Seeing that the door was open, she peaked around the corner and saw Rhaenyra standing by the window, gently bouncing the pup on her hip. The little thing was cooing and giggling, tugging on Rhaenyra’s silver hair.
Alicent grimaced. All of the pups had taken a cruel delight in tugging on her hair as well, but Rhaenyra never seemed to mind. It was one of the few things that Alicent remained unable to understand about her darling, this strange affection she had for the pups that should never have been born. She rapped lightly on the doorframe so as not to startle her darling. “Rhaenyra?”
Turning, Rhaenyra beamed at her, bright as the sun and instantly causing some of the tension in Alicent’s shoulders to uncoil. “Ali.” She took a step towards her, but Alicent shied away. Sighing, Rhaenyra cooed something to the little pup before placing her back in the cradle.
Now that the man’s pup was no longer between them, Alicent swiftly crossed the room and threw her arms around Rhaenyra, breathing in her comforting scent, which was mixed with just enough sea spray that tears stung her eyes. “I have missed you.”
The first time that she’d said those words, her darling had laughed, stroking her back and reminding her that she’d only been gone a few hours, but then she’d seemed to realize just how utterly miserable Alicent was without her near.
She had not laughed since.
Rhaenyra squeezed her tight, or as tight as she could with Alicent’s swollen belly between them. “I have missed you as well, Ali.” Drawing back, but keeping her hands on Alicent’s waist, she grinned at her, violet eyes dancing. “I have a gift for you,” she whispered.
Alicent’s heart began to thunder in her chest. Could it be . . ? Had her Rhaenyra . . ? After all this time . . . “Do,” she gulped, “do not tease me, Nyra. I could not bear—”
“Never, My Love.” The words were soft and sweet, as sweet as they had been the first time that Rhaenyra had whispered them in her ear, when she’d promised that lying with her would not bring Alicent pain. “I have it,” she murmured, so quietly that Alicent had to strain to hear, “and as soon as you’re ready—”
Now! Alicent wanted to wail. The ache in her chest that had plagued her all these years flared suddenly, more sharply than it had since her first night in this horrid prison. But then she realized that it was not merely her longing for the sea that was causing her body to spasm. Looking down, she saw dark liquid staining the floor. “Nyra,” she whimpered.
“I’ve got you, Ali.” Rhaenyra wrapped an arm around her and began quickly guiding her from the nursery and back to her bedchamber, shouting for someone to fetch a midwife.
Alicent leaned heavily on her darling, groaning as the pains became sharper and more insistent. And yet, unlike the first three times, she was not filled with a consuming sense of dread and dismay. Rhaenyra had found her skin. Rhaenyra had found her skin! Once she was free of this pup, she would be free in truth.
Oh, to see the sea again . . .
∞
Alicent’s body ached, but she was used to such by now. She felt terribly weak, and sweat slicked her hair. The pup was gone—thank the gods—whisked away by one of the stern humans so it could be presented to the man. Another male, she’d heard. Not that she particularly cared. All that mattered was the knowledge that soon she would be free of this wretched place. Soon she would return home.
That knowledge, and Rhaenyra, of course. Her darling’s presence was as soothing to her as thoughts of home. Rhaenyra had remained by her side throughout her labors, as she always did. She’d held her hand and murmured encouragements and reassurances in her ear, wiped her brow and gently dried her tears. Were it not for the other humans, Alicent had no doubt that Rhaenyra would have offered her kisses as well, to distract from the pains.
Rhaenyra was a good mate. Sometimes, she wondered if perhaps she would not have minded so much, had it been Rhaenyra who had stolen her skin that day. But no, were Rhaenyra the sort of human to do such a thing, she would not be her Rhaenyra.
As soon as they were alone, she gave her darling a beseeching look. She was too exhausted for speech, but Rhaenyra understood all the same. Soft lips found hers, and she happily lost herself in the kiss. A plaintive whine tore from her throat when Rhaenyra’s mouth retreated, and had she been stronger, she would have chased after her.
Rhaenyra smiled softly, cupping her cheek. “Later, My Love,” she promised.
Alicent pouted.
“You must rest, Ali. Regain your strength. Once you are well enough—” Rhaenyra broke off, voice cracking as lines of silver formed beneath her eyes, but she swiftly blinked the tears away. “Once you are well enough, I’ll take you home.”
Home. Alicent’s heart sang, and already she could hear the call of the sea, louder now than it had been in a long time. She offered her darling a grateful smile. “Thank you, My Nyra.”
Though watery, the smile Rhaenyra gave her in return was genuine, and so full of love that Alicent thought her heart might burst. “I would do anything for you, My Alicent.”
∞
The moon shone brightly overhead, nearly full and providing ample light as Rhaenyra and Alicent made their way down to the beaches. Sneaking out of her father’s castle had been a simple enough task, for she’d been doing as much for years. Alicent had clung to her the entire time, eyes wide and nervous as she’d set foot outside those stone walls for the first time in four years.
Her beloved’s apprehension had immediately transformed into pure elation when Rhaenyra had taken her to the place where she’d hidden her sealskin. The way that Alicent’s hands had trembled as she’d accepted her skin from Rhaenyra, the tears of joy that had filled her beautiful brown eyes, the searing kiss she’d given her—Rhaenyra would cherish those memories for the rest of her days.
She could feel her heart breaking with every step they took, and yet she could not find it in herself to truly mourn, not when Alicent was clutching her sealskin to her chest and looking happier than Rhaenyra had ever seen her before. She would gladly accept never seeing Alicent again if it meant that her beloved would be this happy.
When they at last reached the shore, Alicent immediately kicked off her shoes and ran to the water’s edge, eyes closing with delight as the gentle waves lapped at her feet.
Rhaenyra couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Her father had been so cruel to Alicent. Despite having stolen her sealskin and thus making it impossible for her to escape from him, he’d still forbidden her from leaving the castle, from visiting the beaches and at least being able to see the sea.
Turning, eyes shining, Alicent eagerly beckoned to her. “My Darling?”
Removing her own shoes, Rhaenyra hastened to join her. The wet sand beneath her bare feet was not something she’d felt since she was a child, but it was pleasant enough. The cold water washing over her feet and tugging at her ankles was less so, but she could manage for Alicent. She stared out across the shimmering expanse of water, imagining Alicent swimming beneath the waves: happy and free. Her heart ached.
“I never thought I’d be able to return home,” Alicent murmured. She leaned against Rhaenyra. “Thank you, My Nyra. For all you have done for me.”
Rhaenyra managed a small smile, kissing her cheek. “There is nothing that I would not do for you, Ali.”
“I know.” Alicent straightened suddenly, and then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she handed Rhaenyra her sealskin.
Rhaenyra gaped down at it in shock. “Alicent—?”
“Come with me, Nyra.”
Rhaenyra’s head snapped up as she stared at her in confusion, at the brightness of her eyes, the eagerness of her expression. “Ali,” she said slowly, “I can’t come with you. I’m not a selkie.”
“But you could be.” Alicent took her face between her hands, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “If you love me as I love you, then you could be.” She stroked her cheeks with her thumbs. “You could join me, My Nyra. We could be together in truth, if you wished.” She paused. “And we could still visit the land when you so desired. I would not rob you of your world.”
Gods above, Rhaenyra wanted to accept the offer. She could think of nothing that she desired so much as to spend the rest of her days with Alicent by her side. Whether as a human or seal did not much matter to her.
And yet . . .
“I’m so sorry, Ali.” She swallowed, feeling the beginnings of tears stringing her eyes. “I want to.” Swiftly tucking Alicent’s sealskin under one arm, she reached up with her free hand to gently grasp Alicent’s wrist and prevent her from retreating. “I want to so much it aches, but,” she smiled sadly, “I cannot leave my siblings.”
Alicent’s brow furrowed in that adorable way it always did when faced with what she referred to as “a baffling land custom.” “Why not?”
And her genuine confusion was so utterly heartbreaking that it made the tears gathering in Rhaenyra’s eyes begin sliding down her cheeks. She had always known that Alicent felt no connection to the children she’d born, that she saw them as little more than evidence of her suffering, markers of her years of captivity. She understood that, understood that, on some level, Alicent must hate them almost as much as she hated Rhaenyra’s father. She could not begrudge her beloved such feelings.
But she also could not share them. Whatever the circumstances of their births, her siblings were innocent in all of this. And they needed her. While she knew that they would be physically cared for by the servants even if she were to leave, they needed—they deserved—a parent who would love them.
“Because they are my family, Ali.” She gently squeezed her wrist. “And I cannot leave them with only my father to care for them.” She didn’t even wish to think about how he might treat them if both she and Alicent were gone. For years, he’d been rather indifferent to their existence, but if he became their sole parent . . .
Alicent snorted. “That man doesn’t care for them.”
“Exactly. So I must remain here to ensure they are taken care of.” She searched Alicent’s face, her eyes, for some understanding.
Alicent was peering at her in much the same, searching way. “The pups are all that tie you to this place?”
Rhaenyra nodded. “Yes.”
Sighing, Alicent leaned in to press their foreheads together. “Very well. Then I shall wait for you, My Darling.” She kissed her softly, whispering against her lips. “There is a cove, not far from here by boat. But hidden well enough from the mainland that it is nearly impossible to find unless you know the way. If you return here in three days’ time, I can guide you to it.” She kissed her again. “I can visit you there, until the pups are grown and you are ready to join me.” Drawing back, she tilted her head slightly. “Yes?”
Grinning, Rhaenyra surged forward to capture Alicent’s lips once more in a much fiercer kiss.
∞
Sixteen years.
That was how long Alicent was forced to wait for her mate. Sixteen years for the fourth pup to grow old enough that Rhaenyra felt comfortable leaving him. In some instances, the time passed swiftly—days blending into weeks and weeks becoming moons—but in others, each day seemed to last a lifetime.
Rhaenyra came to the cove every day, sometimes twice a day. And Alicent was always there waiting for her. The other selkies did not understand her devotion to Rhaenyra. She sometimes didn’t entirely understand it herself. But all she required was a simple smile to remind her that her darling mate was more than worth the interminable wait.
Some days, they spent their precious hours together simply talking, telling each other about their lives of late. Rhaenyra never spoke of the pups, for Alicent did not wish to hear of them. Other days, Rhaenyra would lay her down upon a blanket spread out over the soft sands and ravish her until she was nearly delirious with pleasure. And once she regained her senses, it was her turn to pounce upon her mate and do the same.
Over the years, Alicent noticed with delight that Rhaenyra would spend longer and longer at the cove with each passing season. It was during their time spent together that she explained to her mate exactly what she must do in order to one day join her. If Rhaenyra was perturbed, she hid it well.
And when that eagerly awaited day at last arrived, Alicent watched with rapt attention and boundless joy as Rhaenyra slipped into her own sealskin and slid into the water. Her darling mate was clumsy at first, but Alicent did not mind. Rhaenyra had been her guide on the surface, and she was pleased that she would be able to serve as Rhaenyra’s guide under the waves.
And so the two seals dove deep, disappearing beneath the crystal-blue surface of the sea and leaving the cove far behind, perhaps for the final time. All that remained was a set of discarded clothes and some swiftly-fading footprints in the sand.