Work Text:
“Chuuya!” A stray impatient whine made its way towards the ensuite where Chuuya stood in front of the bathroom’s sink, lathering face wash into his skin in a circular motion with all the patience in the world, said man promptly chose to ignore his boyfriends whining as he continued to get ready for bed.
Undeterred Dazai called out again, “Ughh Chuu-Yaaa!!” stretching each syllable of his name the way only a petulant child would. Once again, he was met with silence. Grumbling to himself he took one deep, annoying breath before making the completely rational choice to scream like a deranged banshee.
“CHUUUUUU-” he was promptly cut off by the sight of a hair brush, flying straight for his head, hitting him on his forehead before bouncing off onto the floor.
“Oowww, Chibi, is that any way to treat the love of your life?” Chuuya stormed into the room with a scowl. It was obvious he had just gotten out of the shower with the way his skin and hair were still damp, droplets of water slowly making their way down his hair and body before getting absorbed by the loosely tied navy bathrobe.
“What the fuck do you want Osamu?” he cut straight to the chase, already pissed enough as it was that his workday had taken so long, he didn’t need an annoying mackerel shouting at him when he was in the middle of getting ready for bed.
“You’re taking too long! I’m cold” Dazai cried out, as if he hadn’t already made himself comfortable tucked under a pile of blankets, pouting with his arms outstretched as his hands made a grabbing motion. Even for Chuuya, Dazai former partner whilst in the mafia, it was hard at times to believe the man in front of him had once been known as the Demon Prodigy seeing as how Dazai’s attitude was often more akin to what you would expect of a toddler than the Port Mafia’s infamous youngest executive.
“What do you want me to do about it, huh?” he snapped back though his words carried very little bite to them, merely just playing his part in their ritualistic bickering.
“Come back to bed! I’m going to die of loneliness!” he whined melodramatically, placing the back of his hand over his forehead as he threw his head back pretending to faint like some dainty noble woman. Chuuya only raised an eyebrow incredulously at his boyfriend's childish theatrics before turning to their shared closet.
“Good, at least that’ll teach your annoying ass some fucking patience” He said as he rifeled through his drawers looking for something to sleep in. He only rolled his eyes in turn when Dazai began snickering, obviously having purposefully misconstrued Chuuya’s words.
“Ooh what a naughty little slug you are, chibi” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows provocatively, “thinking of such dirty things even after such a long day of working so hard, but I’m going to have to decline. I wouldn’t want my dog to get hurt because he overexerted himself for me” he shook his head solemnly.
“How considerate,” he grumbled sarcastically before launching a pair of socks at the mackerel's head. God, could Dazai be infuriating when he wanted to, which was to say, always. Remembering he still had facial cleaner on his face he put his clothes to the side and began walking towards the bathroom again.
“Chuuya!” he whined again, Chuuya could only giggle as Dazai gasped in betrayal, his mouth left hanging open like a fish out of water. Turning on the tap, Chuuya washed the remaining cleanser off his face before picking up his leave-in. As he did he could hear Dazai groan in the other room.
“I’ll be done in a minute,” he called out from the bathroom, spreading the product along his hands and running it through his hair before squeezing out the excess water.
“Fufu, Chuuya is such a spoiled little slug.” Dazai chided him with a singsong manner, aiming to provoke the redhead, “A pampered, little Princess who spends too much time and money making himself pretty and ignoring his Prince. Little does Chibi know that if he doesn’t come here and get his beauty sleep he will never grow talle…”
As expected he was interrupted by an irate shout as Chuuya burst back into the room. “BASTARD, DON”T ACT AS IF YOU DON’T USE MY EXPENSIVE PRODUCTS TOO!” a pause, as he realized he had played into Dazai’s hand, “You used up all of the fancy french products Kōyō gifted me! We’re almost out of conditioner and body moisturizer because of you!” then, “AND OI STOP CALLING ME SHORT!”
Following the belief that ignorance is bliss, as well as getting a sense of enjoyment from being a pain in the ass, Dazai presumed to ignore Chuuya’s callout “Hmm? What’s that? Did anyone say anything? I can’t hear anything! There must be some tiny fairy floating around here, trying to tell me something. Too bad I can’t see them.” he said whilst moving his head from side to side with his hands near his head as if searching for the source of a noise. Annoyed, Chuuya decided to call it quits for the night. Grabbing the sleepwear he had decided on earlier he began to get dressed, not bothering to head back into the bathroom anymore, instead proceeding to untie his bathrobe and let it drop onto the floor before throwing on one of Dazai’s old t-shirts that was just a few sizes too big and a pair of boxers. From the bed, Osamu let out an appreciative wolf-whistle at the sight to which was promptly met with a scowl sent his way. Chucking to himself, Dazai scooted over to the side before holding open the heavy blankets allowing Chuuya to slide into bed. Once Chuuya had gotten into bed Dazai wasted no time in pulling him in closer, wrapping long arms and legs around Chuuya’s like some sort of parasitic octopus. Dazai hummed softly as he buried his face into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, pressing himself firmly against Chuuya.
“You’re warm, you are so warm Chibi,” he muttered, to no one in particular. Like this, alone together, in the privacy of their home, it was clear to anyone how perfectly the two fit together, so perfectly in fact that it was like they were two parts of a whole. Soukoku, the infamous Twin Dark, neither could live without the other, only a diamond could polish a diamond, appearing to be so different from each other to the outside world but burning from the same hearth, even now working on opposing sides they were still a team.
“You know, you wouldn’t be so cold all the time if you bothered to eat a proper meal every once in a while.” Chuuya yawned out tiredly, snapping Dazai from his train of thought. “Only a weirdo like you would wear socks to bed,” Chuuya couldn’t help but shudder as he felt Dazai sock-wearing feet run down his naked calves.
“Hmm, don’t worry, the hatrack keeps me warm and well fed. Now stop yapping like a little dog and go to sleep.” he said, nuzzling his face further into Chuuya's neck.
“Mmm,” Chuuya hummed in agreement as the exhaustion settled into his bones “I swear Mori has had it out for me lately, giving me too much goddamned paperwork, probably still mad that Elise said she likes me more… th” his words slowly became more slurred as sleep began to overtake him, realizing this Chuuya begrudgingly stopped his conversation to make sure he would say goodnight to Dazai before falling asleep “Goodnight Osamu.”
“Goodnight Chuuya” Dazai said back, smiling as he watched Chuuya gradually nod off.
Thankfully it hadn’t taken long for Chuuya to enter a state of deep sleep. In truth, Dazai wasn’t sure if he would ever again gather the nerves to go through with this if Chuuya had been awake for even a second longer. Making sure Chuuya was fully asleep, Dazai slowly freed himself from the redhead's arms, carefully so as to not accidentally rouse his lover. Once he managed to fully untangle himself from the mess of intertwined limbs Dazai sat up before leaning against the cool wooden headboard of their antique bed. Even in the chilly night air Dazai felt himself burning up, hot blood making its way through his body, rushing through his ears, his heart beating so rapidly he felt like it might pop out of his chest. Taking a deep breath, he composed himself before turning towards his nightstand. He quietly pulled the drawer open, scouring through the couple of handguns and spare rounds of ammunition he had used to hide the ring box for a while. Once he managed to locate the small velvet box he turned to face the still sleeping Chuuya.
He was truly beautiful. Asleep under the soft glow of the moonlight wearing nothing but Dazai’s old t-shirt and a pair of boxers he looked stunning like the love interest in one of those foreign romance films he loved to watch. His petite frame was emphasized by the oversized plush bed, and his sharp delicate features were fully relaxed in slumber, lip wet and shiny with saliva making its way down his chin, soft rhythmic snores even and persistent like the beating of a heart. Warm, ivory skin entangled in navy sheets that contrasted beautifully against silky, copper waves of hair that Dazai loved to run his fingers through were fanned out on his pillow like a lion's mane. Just this sight alone made everything worth it. Honestly, the thought of living didn’t sound so bad if it meant he could fall asleep and wake up to this sight before him everyday. Although when it came to Chuuya, living really never sounded all that bad, if anything Chuuya made the action of living sound enjoyable.
Unconsciously his grip around the velvet box hardened, he wasn't sure if it was because of the anxiety creeping its way out or if it was the newfound determination pumping through his body, but either way it made everything feel that much more real. Proposing to Chuuya, marrying Chuuya, tying themselves together… it was all no longer just some twisted pipedream from drinking too heavily, or some far of fantasy he would find himself daydreaming of during Port Mafia meetings, it was now a possibility, something he would’ve never considered back when he was younger and more suicidal. He swallowed loudly, in the dead of night the house was silent, devoid of any sound with the exclusion of Chuuya’s soft snoring and the pulsating pressure in his ears from his erratically beating heart. Dazai proceeded to open the ring box, flinching at the loud snapping noise the front clasp made, a useless decoration but alas. The box opened to reveal a custom made engagement ring, one that Dazai had commissioned a whole two months in advance. The ring had a gunmetal-grey tungsten band that had a very slight golden gleam to it. In the center of the band sat a large, kite-cut garnet with three small, blue, princess-cut diamonds embedded on either side, a stone for every year they’ve known each other. Admittedly, it was cheesy, but Chuuya had always been one for sentimentality. He cautiously reached over for his partner's left hand trying not to jostle the sleeping man as he did, although knowing the man he wouldn’t wake even if an earthquake were to hit the building complex, still Dazai didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks. He was already too agitated as it was to have to explain to a sleep-deprived chibi why he had on an engagement ring in the first place, if everything went to plan Dazai would already be in the office by the time Chuuya woke up and saw the ring.
Holding his lover's hand, he took a moment to admire the man’s small, porcelain hands. Just like everything else about him, Chuuya’s hands were also just as perfect. Quickly brushing his lips against the man’s knuckles, Dazai slid the ring onto the man’s ring finger. Once the ring was pushed down all the way, assuring it was snug, Dazai rotated the ring ever so slightly, just to make sure it was perfectly centered on Chuuya’s finger. Even in the almost complete darkness the ring still gleamed beautifully with the little light available. Grabbing his phone, Dazai pulled up his camera app and snapped a few photos with flash on, they were pretty shitty but that wasn't the point. Putting aside his phone, he paused and let a single breath pass, then two, then three, until he felt his heart beat even out and mind clear out. Satisfied with himself, Dazai let go of Chuuya’s hand, brimming with pride when Chuuya reflexively pulled his arm back, tucking both hands against his chest. There was something so perfect in the way Chuuya softly balled up his hands, his right hand cupping the ring hand before placing it against his chest, right over his heart, tucked underneath his chin, that sent pleasant shivers through Dazai. A small hint of shame rose to his cheeks, in the back of his mind he could hear Chuuya calling him a coward for not having the guts to propose to him when he was awake and capable of responding to the proposal. He was fully aware that by proposing at midnight, when Chuuya was unconscious, and Dazai knew full well that he would already be at work by the time Chuuya awoke, was cowardly. If the other man was the one proposing instead, Chuuya would have taken him out somewhere that was special for the two of them, like Suribachi City, or the arcade where they first got together, or the secret safe-house Chuuya had found him in the day Dazai had defected from the Port-Mafia. After a long day of treating him, Chuuya would look him in the eyes, with all the fire that burned behind his own, and ask Dazai to marry him. Yes, Chuuya’s proposal would be romantic, and sentimental, and vulnerable, and raw, everything a proper proposal should be, but that was because Chuuya was brave, and unafraid of rejection or confrontation. He was everything that Dazai was not and much more, that was the reason Chuuya had managed to burrow into his fortified heart. That was the reason Dazai loved him; and thought he knew that Chuuya loved him too, he was afraid, afraid that Chuuya would come to realize he deserved better than, afraid that Chuuya would get tired of having to care for him, afraid that one day all of Dazai’s problems would be a weight to heavy to bear. So though Dazai knew Chuuya would say yes, knew that the possibility of being turned down was miniscule, Dazai was nothing if not wretchedly timid; and despite having spent his entire life fooling others, no mask of his had ever been thick enough to hide from Chuuya. He was promised at least one last night with Chuuya, one last day spent in the domestic bliss that was cohabiting a space, sharing a bed, spending time together without the pressure of doing anything, so he was going to take full advantage of it. Knowing that, Dazai presumed to once again wrap himself around Chuuya, letting himself succumb to the luring calls of sleep.
By the time Chuuya woke up, Dazai had already left for work. Grumbling to himself, Chuuya begrudgingly got out of bed and trudged over to the kitchen. The last three days Mori had been working him to the bone, piling on the reports, sending him to multiple meetings a day, and having him oversee several foreign negotiations. At this point Chuuya was seriously contemplating requesting some time off work as per Dazai’s insistence. Opening the refrigerator door, Chuuya took out a breakfast bento before taking a mental count of the remaining bentos. Satisfied to see there were two less bentos than yesterday, aside from his own, he jotted down the number of remaining boxes on their whiteboard. On the oversized whiteboard calendar Dazai had left a doodle of a smiley face as well as a slug wearing a comically oversized hat that was obviously meant to resemble Chuuya’s favorite hat. In retribution Chuuya took the extra minute to stop and draw a stinky mackerel covered in bandages. Once he finished his breakfast Chuuya walked towards the sink, surprised to see that the empty bento box in the sink had already been pre-rinsed. Chuuya had begun to meal prep for the week three weeks ago upon Kōyō’s suggestion when he had come to her with his struggle to get Dazai to feed himself when Chuuya wasn’t around. It seemed that the pre-made meals were working, as of the last three weeks Dazai had hardly missed a meal. Sure, there were days in which Dazai would bring back a half empty bento, or would only eat the snack, but nonetheless he was proud of Dazai, proud of them both for how far they’ve come. Dazai seemed to be in high spirits lately, something that four years ago Chuuya would have never imagined happening…
“Of Course he had the impertinence to chastise me for my ‘impulsiveness’ when it was his own lack of action that put us in this situation to begin with. I honestly have no idea what it is that Dazai-san sees in him. He is far too emotional and naive to be left in charge of such a consequential task. It really is a shame that the weretiger has such a sentimental nature when his ability has such grand potential due to its undefeatable physical prowess, not that I would ever tell him so he is already too cocky as it is, with the way he believes he hold the moral high ground and therefore is better than me no matter the circumstances,” Akutugawa continued to prattle on about last night's encounter with the weretiger.
“Uh huh,” Chuuya nodded again, as he would every so often, so it seemed as if he was paying attention. In reality Chuuya had stopped paying attention the moment he heard the word ‘jinko’ come out of Akutugawa’s mouth. Instead of listening, Chuuya chose to devote his attention to the mountains of paperwork he had piled up. Chuuya had already heard it all before countless times, in fact he was pretty sure he could copy it word by word. It was of no use to try and hold a conversation with him at this point, whenever Akutugawa began on the subject of the ‘weretiger’ it was as if he entered an entirely different state of consciousness, the usually quiet man could drone on for hours about his partner if given the chance, unaware or uncaring of anyone else’s presence or input.
Akutugawa had not even bothered to acknowledge his superior’s half hearted sounds of agreement, in fact he talked through them. Not having paused once to catch his breath.
“...but even so, Beast beneath the Moonlight is such a flexible ability, not only is it physically powerful, but the tiger is capable of reaching great speeds whilst maintaining its agility, the regeneration allows for it to put its physical form at risk without worrying about any permanent damage to his body. His enhanced senses would also excel in covert operations but the foolish Jinko does not utilize the full potential of his ability because of his stupid short sightedness. It's unbelievable, really, anyone would think he is incapable of critical thinking. He runs purely on instinct, never bothers to strategize, and once his instincts fail him he freezes up and is left with nothing. If he continues on this path he’ll meet an enemy that is strangers, and faster. What then? He’ll die foolishly having nothing but his ability to rely on. His greatest flaw is he’s uncreative, it is a wonder he hasn’t died yet. His strong morals are just as irritating, they prevent him from taking action, he fails to see past something as trivial as the death of another, which is just nonsensical when at the end of the day he is fighting to protect the city itself. One death could save hundreds..." At this, Chuuya slammed his head against the table. It had been forty-five minutes since they began their conversation and only just now did they reach the hour-long speech Chuuya was so familiar with. Whilst part of Chuuya was glad that Akutugawa felt close enough to him to talk so casually, despite their mafia ranks, He couldn’t help but think that for the sake of Akutugawa learning to accept people onto his life, and for the sake of Chuuya’s sanity, the boy should just confess his crush on the weretiger. It’s not as if he would go and tell the world, Chuuya was a decent person after all. Plus if what Dazai had gathered was true then Akutugawa’s feelings are reciprocated by the Jinko. Maybe he could convince Dazai to help get them together, who was he kidding, Dazai was definitely already working on it.
Speaking of Dazai, Chuuya groaned inwardly at the irony of Akutagawa's speech, having heard similar complaints about Akutagawa years ago, back when Dazai was Akutugawa’s mentor. Despite having heard Akutagawa’s ramblings countless times it still shocked him how oblivious the younger man could be. Dazai had left his mark on Akutagawa. At times it was almost distorting to hear Dazai’s old thought process coming out word for word from Akutagawa's mouth. Regardless of the fact that Akutagawa didn't react to his mentor slamming his head against this desk, Chuuya still felt obligated to guide the young man. Regaining his composure, he took a deep breath before clearing his throat, determined to counsel his kouhai.
“Listen, Akutagawa, I know that this is probably hard for you to accept, but by now you must realize that…'' he never got to finish his intervention.
“That foolish Jinko insisted on giving me his contact information,” Akutugawa grumbled. A faint, almost imperceptible blush dusting his cheeks.
“Ohh, that’s good?” Chuuya responded reluctantly, still shell-shocked at the fact that Akutagawa had managed to get that far with the weretiger.
“It’s horrible. He’s already made himself a horrible leech on my side. He’s like a brain worm, just his very existence is a plague. Now he’s able to bother me at every hour of the day.” Akutagawa continued to complain although his grievances seemed trivial when his face was beet red.
Seeing Akutagawa's display of purposeful ignorance, Chuuya could only facepalm. He was too tired to deal with his coworkers' hopeless love lives. Grumbling into his glove, Chuuya dramatically dragged his hand down his face, faltering when he felt an unfamiliar pressure pressing against his skin through the thin leather of his glove. What the hell? Chuuya didn’t remember putting on any jewelry. If anything he distinctly remembered deciding not to wear any jewelry today. Hell, he was so tired he almost left the house without his hat and harness. Still, it was so unlike the top Port-Mafia executive that it was borderline suspicious. Removing his gloves Chuuya felt his breath halt as he caught sight of an unfamiliar ring on his finger.
“Chuuya-San, Chuuya-San? Are you okay?” Akutagawa’s voice broke through his thoughts. Snapping him out of his trance before his thoughts could start to spiral.
His throat suddenly felt dry as he forced himself to respond to the younger man, “Yeah. Why do you ask, Akutagawa?”
Unable to tear his gaze away from the hand, he carefully evaluated the ring. It was an expensive ring, very obviously custom ordered, such an elaborate and specific style would not be seen in any commercial array of engagement rings.
“I've been asking you if... you know what it's not important"Akutagawa huffed in slight annoyance at the fact that his superior was very obviously not paying attention to him, not even bothering to spare a glance his way, instead too preoccupied staring at something. Shifting his gaze downwards he caught sight of what it was that was distracting the other man.
“"Chuuya-san, is that a new ring? I haven't seen this one before," Akutagawa asked awkwardly, trying to engage in more casual conversation as the Jinko had insisted he practice. On Chuuya’s left hand was a ring Akutagawa hadn’t seen before. While it wasn't uncommon to see Chuuya sport extravagant-looking jewelry, the man usually stuck to the same rotation of jewelry over the years.
Dazedly, Chuuya looked up “Uh-huh, yeah umm Akutagawa, this conversation… This conversation was great but… I have to go. I’ll see you later, umm, you should go talk to the weretiger or something I don’t know, but you got his number that’s something no? Well I'm going to go now, okay? Goodluck!” Chuuya hastily scrambled onto his feet, rushing to put away his mission reports. Akutagawa watched as some stray papers fluttered down off the desk, something he took note to take care of for his currently indisposed superior, said superior had already managed to tumble his way out of his office leaving the door wide open. Akutagawa would make sure to lock his executive’s office before he left, with the way Chuuya had left he doubted the executive would be coming back today.
The Armed Detective Agency sat frigid as it awaited the rapture. Sure, there was currently no world-ending phenomenon, no rogue ability user with a god complex and too much time at hand, no bad guys to chase, but frankly an apocalypse of any kind would be preferable to this. This, referring to the iron-wrung tension that permeated the air surrounding them like heavy smog. Atsushi wished he could say he was being rather melodramatic, but as he looked at his coworkers who sat in a silent terror at the sight in front of them, afraid that if they accidentally blinked too loudly all hell would break loose. There, in the center of the office, sat the Armed Detective Agency’s suicidal detective, Osamu Dazai. The man had been working diligently all day, arriving to work on time, and getting through more work than Atsushi had ever seen him do before. Not only was the man doing his job like a productive member of society but Dazai had yet to take a nap on the couch, infuriate Kunikida, propose a double suicide with the downstairs barista, or find an excuse to leave the office. The behavior was so unusual in fact that Yosano had pulled the man aside to have a private discussion, he could only imagine what that discussion had been about. Regardless, the man continued to get through mission reports like he went through bandages in complete silence with nothing but a slight smile on his face or at times a subtle look of worry. This cycle went on for so long that soon Kunikida, who had previously been ecstatic earlier over the man’s queer behavior, had gone up to Dazai with concern and asked if everything was okay, even offering him the day off, which Dazai respectively declined. Not even Ranpo knew what was wrong with the man, as they all watched concerned as the man pulled out one of the neatly made bentos he had been bringing in lately which he had refused to step out for during their lunch break in favor of completing his remaining work.
“Dazai,” Junichiro cautiously began approaching the detective like one would approach a bomb set to blow. “Are you sure you're alright? You’ve been acting kinda different.”
“I’m feeling just peachy Junichiro! There is nothing to worry about,” Dazai flashed them all his signature smile, though there was something slightly different in the expression this time. Something Atsushi couldn’t quite place, maybe apprehension or uncertainty. If it was even probable that his confident, blasé, and intelligent mentor would ever let himself worry
“Cut the crap Dazai, no one is buying it,” Ranpo butted in lazily. With the way he was leaning against his chair, his eyes closed, making his way through a bag of lollipops, he appeared to be entirely unbothered by his coworker’s strange behavior, if anything he seemed to find the situation amusing.
“Dazai, this would be easier to fix if you just told us what’s wrong,” Kunikida said sternly, trying to gain back some semblance of professionalism after his rather embarrassing loss of composure earlier that day when Dazai had turned in a few pounds worth of missing reports earlier that day.
“Ahh Kunikida, not you too!” Dazai whined theatrically at his partner's apparent betrayal, a display which was promptly ignored by everyone as Yosano raised her voice to speak.
“Actually Kunikida, I don’t believe there is anything wrong,” she paused, briefly walking towards Dazai before bending forward to meet him at eye level as she continued, “At least not yet.” Never having been one to avoid confrontation, Yosano ended in a somewhat inquisitive tone as if daring the man in front of her to correct her. Instead someone else answered.
“Not yet,” Ranpo chimed in affirmatively, ignoring the way Dazai childishly stuck his tongue out at him.
That was the only confirmation Yosano needed as she pulled in even closer to the man with a devious grin on her face, the same expression she wore when someone needed healing, “I think you, Dazai, are nervous. You're waiting for something! Oh, you are trying to distract yourself” she finished with a sing-song tone, enjoying the discomfort that hung in the room.
“Yosano, has anyone ever told you that you are a lovely lady?” Dazai asked pleasantly, avoiding any of Yosano’s implications. Instead flashing her his classic, flirty grin and throwing on his typical air of nonchalance as he cupped her hands.
“Everyday, now spill” Yosano didn’t bat an eyelid instead just huffed in annoyance as she shook her hand free. Unbothered by her co-worker's display, but rather the fact that he refused to indulge her in the gossip this office so badly needed she continued to push him. Knowing when to relent, Dazai admitted defeat with an exasperated sigh. Shoving his remaining paperwork to the side, he made a show of crossing his arm behind his head and leaning heavily against the chair’s armrest in a relaxed position.
“Fine, how about you all guess and I’ll tell you if you're right,” he said casually, deciding to try and bide his time. If he was correct Chuuya would be getting here soon and he could do all the work of explaining instead.
Unsatisfied, Yosano clutched her pen like a scalpel. “You know Dazai, one of these days I’ll find a way to treat you,” she stated with a rather threatening smile, that woman was scary when she wanted to be.
“Okay, Okay! Stop bickering, start guessing!” Naomi squealed excitedly, pulling on Junichirou’s arm to scoot closer to Dazai.
“You… set up a prank for us and are waiting for it to go off?” Tanazaki made the first guess at his girlfriend's insistence, clearly anticipating the worst. Whilst he was trying to back away from Dazai’s immediate perimeter the more nosy of detectives took that opportunity to get closer to the man, all too eager to know what was going on with the man.
“Nah, he’s not cocky enough,” Ranpo assured the younger man. Dazai only gave a small self-satisfied hum of agreement.
“Do you know what’s going on?” Kunikida asked the other detective skeptically.
“Nope, I have no idea. I know it’s hard to believe but even genius can’t stand up to the stupidity that is Dazai,” the detective emphasized his point with a pop before returning to his lollipop.
“Did you finally convince a girl to commit a double suicide with you?” Kyoka asked softly, she was met with murmurs of agreement from the other detectives. Dazai only shook his head in response.
Aggravated Kunikida wagered a guess “Dazai, did you ingest shrooms again?”
“Fufu Kunikida, so little faith. Nope” the detective used this opportunity to annoy Kunikida. At least they could see he was feeling better now.
“Did you finally find a way to commit a perfect, painless suicide?” Atsushi asked without meaning to. Although, now that he had asked he couldn’t help but worry that might be the reason for his mentor's weird demeanor. The room fell into silence for a bit when Dazai failed to respond. Atsushi raised his head to see his mentor had stopped paying attention to their guesses, instead he occupied himself with glaring at the office door.
“Did you finally lose your mind?” Yosano guessed haphazardly in a pitiful attempt to break the mood. “Maybe you finally learnt the value of a full night's rest and a proper meal.”
Her attempt seemed to be successful as Kenji continued on with the guessing in a cheery tone, “Mr. Fancy Hat is coming in!”
“Kenji, no that wouldn’t make sense. The two of them claim to hate each other…” Atsushi tried to refute, only to be cut off by Kenji.
“No, not that. Mr. Fancy Hat is actually coming, see!” the teen boy pointed towards the closed door that Dazai was staring at, all too happy to be having a Port Mafia Executive visiting them. Although anyone who knew Kenji knew the boy was especially fond of Chuuya Nakahara. As Kenji was speaking, the office door flew open with such force that Atsushi was surprised to see it still connected to its hinges.
"God Fucking Damnit Osamu" The Port Mafia executive kicked the door in effectively silencing the agency. Everyone stood frozen place unsure of how exactly to react as the top executive of the Port Mafia broke into the office angrily stomping as he made his way to the suicidal detective. Seeing as how the Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia were on a now longstanding alliance it wasn't uncommon for a mafioso or two to enter the agency whether for work or an occasional visit. and everyone knew about Nakahara's fiery temper especially when it came to the hijinks of his former partner, yet Nakahara was always courteous enough to call ahead to let them know why he was disturbing them.
Kunikida was the first to act "Listen Nakahara I'm unsure why you are paying us a visit but currently Dazai..."
"Chibiiii" Dazai screamed with childlike enthusiasm as he got a running start jumping onto the mafioso wrapping his limbs around like an overgrown koala bear hugging a very short tree. That by itself was not an unusual sight, everyone who has met Double Black has seen how clingy and childlike Dazai is around his partner despite his claims of detesting the executive, and has seen the violent way Chuuya reacts to said clingy childlike nature. So it was a surprise to see how he paid little mind to the way the detective made himself comfortable hanging off Chuuya instead he only bothered to half heartedly curse Dazsi out in a wet voice, exasperation melting, voice cracking mid sentence.
"Shitty, fucking, mackerel bastard. how dare you go and... whilst I was asleep..fucking leave before.... you half assed mummy mother fucker the only time you ever show up to work on time...i should've know you god-damned bandage waster... only you would have the balls to..ugh." he trailed off now burying his face into Dazai's chest. Dazai took that as a sign to get down, letting his feet touch the floor as he pulled Chuuya closer into a hug.
"Chuuya? Marry me, won't you" he said in a cheerful airy tone. For a few seconds the world paused. With a final sob, Chuuya responded.
"Ugh. Screw You Shitty Bastard.” The room tensed, all waiting for the man’s answer. Instead the reverberation of a single, strong smack was heard. Chuuya had reached up and smacked Dazai up top of his head. In a low, weepy voice he replied “Of Course Osamu." With that the world imploded on itself. The agency building was suddenly filled with screeching of all kinds.
Yet, even with all that noise Atsushi could hear Dazai hum lightly, “I deserved that,” he spoke. The admission was met with agreement, Atsushi heard Chuuya grumble back something about payback.
Noami was the first to say what was on everyone’s mind, “Wait, you two are dating?” Though the newly revealed couple didn’t answer, it was safe to assume the two were an item as they got progressively more affectionate with each other. A mirage of questions followed, all of which were left unanswered by the couple that was too caught up in themselves to acknowledge anyone else.
“Goddamit Dazai! What the fuck! You’ve been dating a Port Mafia executive in secret? What part of you thought that was a good idea? Is he the number of your emergency contact? What do you think…” Kunikida started, as he paced around the couple, aghast at Dazai’s audacity. Though the man brought up good points, his droning was drowned out by everyone else's excitement.
“OH MY GOD! I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Yosano shouted out at the top of her lungs like a madwoman. “You,” she pointed at Ranpo triumphantly, “You owe me 5,000 yen!”
“It’s not fair! I knew since Fancy Hat walked in,” Ranpo whined childishly.
“Well I called it MONTHS ago,” she made a show of taking Ranpo’s wallet and handing it to him. A smirk on his face when he accepted defeat and gave her the money.
“Huh wait, Ranpo! How did you know?” Tanizaki stared at Ranpo slightly confused as to how the normally socially oblivious detective could have foreseen such an unbelievable relationship.
“Easy. Nakahara isn’t wearing his glove on his left hand. Take a look,” sure enough Ranpo was right, Chuuya was missing a glove and there on Chuuya’s left ring finger was an intricately designed ring.
Seeing the ring, Atsushi was brought to his senses, “Shit, Aktugawas is going to have a stroke when he finds out. I need to tell him this,” he said, as he fumbled around his frequent contacts for Aktugawa’s number. Surprisingly Akutagawa answered the call immediately, as if he had been waiting for him to call. Atsushi knew this wasn’t the case but he still felt a warmth spread through his chest.
“What is it, weretiger?” Akutagawa asked gruffly, still sounding as grumpy as ever. Atsushi didn’t even bother to reprimand the other man for still calling him ‘weretiger’.
“Akutugawa, you’ll never believe this. So Chuuya came to the office right,” he started, barely able to contain his thrill about the situation, before being cut off by Aktugawa.
“Chuuya-san is at the Agency? Why is he at the agency? Also can your crummy detectives shut up? It sounds like a zoo in there,” the man’s voice had gotten sterner, Atsushi could just imagine Akutagawa straightening up at the mention of his superior. The image was amusing.
“I swear to god Rynosuke, can you let me finish? I was about to explain,” the chiding was met with silence on the other side of the call. Atsushi took that as a signal to continue, “Anyway, you were right!” The other man didn’t say anything, instead just giving a grunt of confusion.
“You were right,” he repeated “about Dazai and Chuuya! Remember our conversation? The one west of the green safehouse, when we defeated the crazy bird lady?” Atsushi prodded, hoping he wouldn’t have to spell it out for the other infront of his coworkers.
“This better not be one of your foolish del…” Atsushi hung up before Akutagawa could finish his sentence. There would be no way Atsushi could accurately describe the events that occurred to Akutagawa in a way that would make the mafioso believe him. Declining multiple phone calls from Akutagawa, Atsushi started a video call with the other man, unable to even get a flattering camera angle before the other boy accepted the call. Meanwhile the other man was very clearly outside, obviously making his way to the agency. Flipping the camera view, Atsushi pointed the camera at the couple, who had now made their way onto the couch, comfortably cuddling there with a small faction of detectives encircling them like some messed up interrogation scene. That's when it happened, the two men turnt to face each other before gently kissing on the lips.
“Hey, tell Akutagawa if he plans to come here to get here quickly! I want to go home sometime today!” Chuuya shouted at him from over the couch. Throwing a glare when some giggles erupted from the crowd, no doubt Yosano, Naomi, and Ranpo, although he wouldn’t put it past Dazai to be giggling with them. That suspicion was proved true when a flustered Chuuya elbowed Dazai harshly in the ribs, only making the rest of the group break out into uncontrollable guffaws. He didn’t know how Chuuya was aware that he was talking with Akutagawa, much less how he knew Akutagawa was coming over but he found it sweet that the man was choosing to stay here until his kouhai arrived.
“Um of course Chuuya-san,” he stammered back, not really sure as to why but for some reason he felt self conscious at the way his mentor and his fiance stared at him with knowing looks, especially as Chuuya leaned in to whisper something directly into Dazai’s ear as the two continued to stare at him. The boy knew he would be in for trouble.