Chapter Text
The first time that they meet is on the set of the shiny boys photoshoot.
He’s tall— the other trainee that he’s paired with. At least 188cm despite being the same age as Gyuvin, with eyes deep enough to drown in.
The first time that he sees them, it stops him in his tracks.
He tells the camera just as much later on.
Their first greeting is awkward and stilted, camera crew watching their every move as they introduce themselves to one another, trying to sound out each others’ names.
The entire situation is absurd, but they somehow find themselves laughing through it, and the interaction is enough to put Gyuvin at ease.
Jingxiang has a nice smile.
He tries not to stare too much.
He later finds himself asking more about the boy, in some kind of attempt to establish a common ground between them. And find out he does.
They both like cheese, for starters. Cheese ramyeon and cheeseburgers.
It's a strange point, but he holds onto it nevertheless.
“We can be friends forever,” Jingxiang says immediately with a smile, to which Gyuvin can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement.
Friends forever? Over cheese?
Still, he strangely feels pleased at this odd form of connection between them. He plays along with it when asked again about their chemistry, and smiles when Jingxiang laughs back.
“Cheese Team,” Jingxiang dubs them both afterwards, and Gyuvin can only nod back in assent.
“I think we both have the same taste. I love it,” Gyuvin says to the camera.
Somehow, he finds that he doesn’t have to exaggerate at all.
The photoshoot goes ahead without a hitch, with the two trying out different positions— either standing back to back or holding hands, as if to capture the strength and bond of all of the trainees of the show.
He likes it— the message.
Still, he can’t help but keep looking back to Jingxiang, distracted at the way his dark hair falls softly over his forehead, or the pretty curve of his lips as he smiles.
With a swallow, he tells himself that this was normal— that he was merely taking note for his own self-management.
It isn’t long before the producers pair them up together again.
Between the eye contact test and the pedometer test, Gyuvin finds himself becoming more and more aware of the other, increasingly drawn to the way he laughs without restraint, or watches him closely with those deep, soulful eyes of his.
Despite the language barrier, he finds the other endearing— almost maddeningly so.
He doesn’t know anyone like him.
He wants to know more.
Then one day it ends. The show starts for real, and he finds their interactions suddenly cut off, like removing a part of himself that he had so gotten used to.
He tells himself it’s fine— he can still see the other boy around during group activities, or during practice.
But he doesn’t.
The first mission is split into two— K group and G group. Even the rooms are sorted that way, and it takes him an accident many nights later to find out which room that the other is assigned to.
He had even made a point of asking around— but most of the trainees are too caught up in practising to give him much attention.
So he focuses on it as well.
The next time that he truly sees Jingxiang again is when they conduct their interim performance for the trainees to assess— and he’s tall and gorgeous, just as Gyuvin remembers him.
He tries to capture the other’s eye— to have even the semblance of recognition cast his way. But it’s nowhere near enough.
When he gets back to his room, he wonders how the other is doing. If he’s struggling, or if he’s made friends.
If he’s doing just fine on his own without Gyuvin.
He just doesn’t know how to ask.
Then the time of the first elimination comes around.
He’s nervous, out of his mind. He knows that he’s popular— truthfully, he had never had any concerns about that.
But whether he would make it into the debut group was another question entirely.
When the next position is called up for the Aju Nice teams— the 17th place, prefacing that the next survivor was one who had “captured countless Star Creators with his lovely looks”, the trainees around him blink in confusion.
“Who do you think it could be?”
“Is it Seowon hyung?” Hanbin asks.
“Ma Jingxiang,” Gyuvin says immediately, without thinking.
It had to be.
The others make a sound of acknowledgement and nod in assent, as if it were obvious, although if they think it’s strange that Gyuvin had recalled the other so quickly despite their limited interactions, they don’t say anything about it.
It’s not him— he ends up ranking at 32nd place.
Still, Gyuvin internally sighs with relief.
So he had also made it.
Watching him closely as he walks up onto the stage, he notices that the other’s nervous— he can tell that much, even sitting so far away.
But he does well to hide it, making his speech neatly and ending it with a bow.
Gyuvin gives him a quick smile, hoping that the other will see him before they usher him away again.
He doesn’t.
**
He doesn’t interact with Jingxiang again for the next mission, nor during any other activities.
It somehow feels deliberate on the producers’ part, even though he knows it’s not.
Or at least, it couldn’t be.
The only way he even has any connection with the other is voting him as the show’s official visual— but even that isn’t broadcasted.
He doesn’t understand it.
As he walks back to his room after a long night of practice, he sees a light still on, from the far side of the building.
He didn’t think anyone would still be awake at this time— not even the most intense of trainees— and the curiosity overtakes him.
He walks down the corridor over to the room, peeking inside.
With a blink, he sees the person that he least expects to see— Ma Jingxiang, sitting in his bed, reading through a piece of paper with a pack against his neck.
Despite his persisting beauty, he looks worse for wear.
His other roommates are sound asleep.
“Jingxiang?” Gyuvin asks gently.
Startled, the other boy sets down his paper and looks up.
His eyes widen.
“Gyuvin?” he asks, before his face melts into a smile.
“What’re you doing here?” he asks, sitting upright. His voice sounds a little hoarse, but he doesn’t seem to pay much mind to it.
“I was just finishing up with practice. How come you’re still awake?” Gyuvin asks.
“Just practising my lines. I haven’t been feeling well, so I need to…to practice more,” Jingxiang replies, sounding a little flustered.
“You’re not feeling well?” Gyuvin asks, eyebrows knitting in concern. He walks over to sit on the bed.
“Don’t worry about me, I’m sure I’ll pull through when the performance comes around,” the other shakes his head.
“Let me check your temperature,” Gyuvin says, leaning forward to place a hand against the taller boy’s head.
It’s warm. Too warm.
“It’s high. You shouldn’t overwork yourself like this,” he frowns, to which the other only takes his hand into his own. He blinks at the contact.
“I’m fine, really— I can take care of myself. But thank you for your concern,” Jingxiang says with a smile, eyes crinkling.
Gyuvin doesn’t know how to respond, cheeks suddenly feeling warm.
“I’m sorry we haven’t been able to talk much,” Gyuvin blurts out.
Jingxiang looks back at him in surprise.
“I mean, we’re the Cheese Team, yet we haven’t gotten to work together at all,” he says, feeling ridiculous at the words coming out of his mouth.
What am I even saying?
Jingxiang stares at him for a moment, before he laughs.
Gyuvin thinks that it shouldn’t be fair for someone’s laugh to be so pretty.
“You’re right,” the other boy says, shaking his head.
“Hopefully it’ll happen one day, though. I’d love to work with you,” he continues, with a slight sparkle in his eye.
“Really?” Gyuvin asks.
Suddenly, one of Jingxiang’s roommates turns over in their sleep, and they both startle.
“It’s late. I guess I should leave now, huh?” Gyuvin asks.
“It seems so. But thank you for coming to see me,” Jingxiang replies, with a gentle but somewhat forlorn smile.
All of a sudden, Gyuvin feels bad.
Had the other been expecting him to reach out?
“I’ll try to come more often,” he says resolutely, reaching out for the other’s hand.
Jingxiang looks surprised for a moment at the action, before he looks up.
“Really?” he asks, with a hint of shyness.
“Really. So feel better soon, okay?”
When Jingxiang responds, his smile is like the sun peeking out from behind the clouds.
“Sure.”
**
He begins to visit the other every night, under the cover of darkness.
It’s not really a covert meeting, by any means— they were merely carving out a time in the day that didn’t clash with their respective schedules.
But somehow it feels like it, with just the two of them sitting in Jingxiang’s bed, talking in quiet tones and playing with each other’s hands. Like they were in their own private world.
Thankfully the other’s roommates are heavy sleepers, unlike Gyuvin’s own.
But at least his own don’t question where he goes every night, even if he can feel their eyes following him.
“How was practice today?” Gyuvin asks lowly, as he sits up further on the other’s bed.
“Good. Well, I’m still not feeling my best, but I’ve made more progress,” Jingxiang nods, making space for the other.
Almost like a habit, he reaches out for Gyuvin’s hand.
It’s something that Gyuvin had subconsciously started, being the more physically affectionate one. But once he had gotten used to it, Jingxiang had adopted it in no time, pulling at Gyuvin at any chance.
Gyuvin interlaces his fingers with the other’s own with a smile.
“That’s good. You know I’d be happy to practice with you, right?” he asks.
With a scoff, Jingxiang tightens his hold on Gyuvin’s hand.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You shouldn’t sacrifice your own practice time like that,” he says.
“I wish there was some way I could help you, though,” the brunette admits.
Jingxiang only gives him a soft smile back.
“You’re already helping me by visiting. It’s nice to have someone to talk to like this,” he says.
Gyuvin can’t help the warmth blossoming in his chest at the words.
“Do you feel homesick?” he finds himself asking.
Jingxiang sits on the words for a few moments, before looking down.
“Yes. Almost always. But it’s been getting better lately,” he replies slowly.
Another pause.
“Maybe because you sort of feel like home to me."
At the words, Gyuvin blinks.
“Me?!” he asks, sitting upright.
“Lower your voice,” Jingxiang laughs softly at his response, before pulling him closer.
“Yes, you. But I don’t know why,” he says, shaking his head.
Gyuvin looks down, unable to stifle the broad smile spreading across his face.
No-one had ever told him anything like that before.
Did he really make Jingxiang feel that way?
“It’s getting late. You should go back now,” the other suddenly says, bending over to check the time, to which Gyuvin blinks.
Had the time really passed that quickly?
“Oh, right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” he asks, hopefully.
He doesn't know if it's too much— if he's overstepping any boundaries.
But then the other smiles back, beautiful as ever, and all of his worries instantly melt away.
“See you tomorrow,” Jingxiang replies with a nod.
Gyuvin walks back to his room, feeling giddy.