Work Text:
saki stood by the drawbridge of the stone castle. she glanced to the side, though her head failed to move an inch. she noticed that the once grey stones had darkened over time, looking more black than they did grey. she already knew that just a tap would leave her finger covered in dust and soot. she took a step forward and sideways from the barbican. rotten vines shot from between the cracks and wrapped around the rough towers. the flowers that bloomed along with them had wilted a long time ago. small bits of chipped stone fell to the ground in front of her, barely missing the tip of her nose.
the sight of the gristly castle irked her. why a noble faction such as the canopus faction could not take care of it was completely past her. even the cottages in the village were in better shape than the castle, one of them had a whole rose hedge! she knew she didn’t really have the right to say anything. after all, she was just another one of hundreds of knights in the faction. but the thought of yet another jab at the seemingly devastated building was enough to drive her up the wall.
saki did not consider herself an irritable person. having grown up in such a large kingdom, she had seen her fair share of cantankerous individuals all around who only knew how to communicate through splenetic rants. she decided that she was far from their tetchy and crabby selves. who did come to mind, however, was a certain silver haired knight from the sirius faction. a sudden smoulder of raw resentment came over saki before any coherent thought other than a myriad of swears could be formed. she swore she could feel her fury throbbing in her like a heartbeat.
so maybe saki was a little more irascible than she initially believed, but how could she not? when all the easily vexed yet somehow painfully vexatious knight did was purposefully get on her nerves. she remembered their first proper meeting. the faction head, honami, had brought her along to the peace treaty signing to officially settle the long dispute between the two factions. the factions, sirius and canopus, had been going head to head for centuries, fighting for dominance over the land they shared. it was only when the factions were appointed their new and current heads that the antagonism died down.
she recalled seeing the two rulers seated opposite each other, the single document laid on the table in front of them. similarly to how she was standing beside honami, a knight was stationed beside the sirius faction’s head. she recognised the knight almost immediately. a frown formed on her face. the wars had brought them face to face countless times before, it was impossible for saki to not recognise the other knight. she took a closer look at her, now that they weren’t at each other’s throats with swords so sharp they could slice you with a mere touch. her short silver hair was smooth and shiny, surprising after years of battles. her piercing emerald eyes were sharp and elegant as they burned into hers. she had somewhat of an innocent face with delicate facial features despite her serious expression. as much as she hated to admit it, she couldn’t deny that the knight was gorgeous. in fact, if saki hadn’t known any better, she would have considered her attractive.
maybe saki shouldn’t have held a grudge against the knight at the time. she was simply doing her job during the war, as saki did her own. it was only fair for her to retaliate when saki charged forward. neither of them wanted to, to fight, to hurt. even so, it was a knight’s duty— protect their people, even if it meant neglecting themselves. the warfare was behind them now, but it was hard for saki to let go of the past, even though she looked forward to the future so badly.
she thought back to after the signing of the peace treaty. honami and the sirius faction’s head had gone off somewhere on their own, leaving the two knights behind together. they stood in absolute silence for what seemed to be ages. it was to be expected after their long years of unpleasantries. when she realised that the sirius knight showed no intention of talking to her or even acknowledging her existence, saki convinced herself to do it in her place. if the two factions were going to make up, they may as well try to get along. ‘be the bigger person’ she had told herself. she strode towards the other, but took a small step back upon being under her stone cold stare.
“we meet again, hinomori-san. it’s nice to see that you are well.” saki said with a feigned smile that was almost too painful to give.
“oh, tenma-san. i didn’t notice you were here.” the knight had replied, aloof and supercilious. the reply made all the delicate disdain she had stored coil in her stomach.
“you know, you could stand to be a little more friendly, hinomori-san.” her voice was more passive aggressive than she had initially intended, but she supposed that it was more fitting that way. the other scoffed, albeit softly. if saki were standing just another centimetre away, she would have missed it.
“we have gone to wars on opposing ends. to be friendly would be impossible.” the knight had said in a matter-of-factly tone. saki had to give it to her, her words held a point, but she decided that she wouldn’t let herself back down, especially to her.
“listen, the dispute has been settled so there is no reason for us to still be hostile. is the concept of amiability really that difficult for you to grasp?” she tore her gaze away from saki’s face.
“no, it is not. what i do find difficult to grasp is how you think the two of us can be cordial after everything. we have and will always be enemies. we’ve fought and we’ve hurt each other. it simply does not make sense. besides, don’t you think you’re not acting all that friendly right now?” the knight stated tepidly as she folded her arms in a defensive manner. saki grumbled in response.
“are you always this uptight and austere? forget it, if you’re going to be like that, then so be it. so much for improving relationships.” it was at that point when honami and the sirius faction’s ruler arrived back at the venue. saki didn’t bother pointing out how flushed both their faces were.
“saki-chan, we can head back now.” she heard honami whisper in her ear. a wave of relief washed over her. “hoshino-san, hinomori-san, i hope to see the two of you again. take care.” honami waved, a grin plastered across her face. as saki began to take her leave, she felt a tug on her arm.
“what do you want now, hinomori-san?” she groaned.
“call me shiho.” saki raised an eyebrow at her sudden request.
“well, since you want to be my friend so badly, i’ll let you call me by my first name. consider it a privilege.” saki almost couldn’t contain the mouthful that threatened to spout from her mouth as her eye twitched in irritation. she inhaled loudly in a poor attempt to calm herself down.
“you can call me saki then, since you’ve been such a joy.” the smirk that appeared on shiho’s face upon hearing her sardonic voice made saki’s blood boil.
“let’s go, ichika. i’m afraid this one’s about to blow any second now.”
“why, you—”
“calm down, saki-chan. we’re leaving now.” honami cut her off abruptly, earning a snicker from shiho. as honami pulled saki away by the cape, saki kept her eyes trained on shiho’s back, slowly fading from her view. saki gritted her teeth.
that was the start of their post-war hatred.
-
saki had seen the girl multiple times since their first encounter, much to her dismay. it seemed that honami and the sirius faction’s ruler, hoshino ichika, were a lot closer than she had originally thought. at first, it was just a weekly occurrence for the two rulers to meet. but somehow those weekly meetings became twice a week, then thrice, and then nearly everyday. saki would have been totally fine with it, if it weren’t for honami loving to drag her along to their outings. to make matters worse, it seemed that ichika was the same with shiho, thus leaving the two knights alone as the other two spent their hours together doing who knew what.
it was just another one of their hushed meetings. saki swayed her leg back and forth in utter boredom. it had been less than an hour since shiho and ichika arrived at the canopus palace, but restlessness found it’s way to her a little earlier than it usually did. she took a chance to take a quick peek at the girl beside her. unsurprisingly, shiho was bored out of her mind as well. she rested against a pillar on the opposite end of the doors, nodding off into a slumber. the serene air around her was a stark contrast to her usually frigid self.
‘how pretty…… wait what?’
saki scolded herself for letting her mind meander into forbidden territory. ‘you must be insane,’ she thought, ‘thinking that buffoon is pretty.’ she huffed in annoyance. she couldn’t tell if it was directed at herself or shiho. she let the back of her head knock against the wall, her eyes glued to the grandiloquent chandelier that hung from the ceiling. the sound of her own breath filled her ears amidst the silence.
‘gosh, this is boring.’
saki diverted her attention to shiho once again. the other knight was finally awake, but she was still hunched over in apathy. “what are you looking at?” saki jumped at the sudden sound of shiho’s voice.
“just your stupid face.” she spat childishly.
“yeah? you must like my stupid face a lot then.” saki rolled her eyes so far back it gave her a headache.
“yeah, yeah. whatever helps you sleep at night.” the two returned to their usual awkward silence when shiho failed to respond.
“hey, shiho.” saki started, breaking the stillness in the room. wordlessly, shiho turned to look at her. saki suddenly felt herself hesitate as shiho’s eyes bored into her. she tore her gaze away from the girl. “uh… w-wanna spar?” shiho appeared taken aback by her offer. she backed away slightly, a little wary.
“what for? are you really still that butthurt from last time?” saki had to bite down on her lower lip to contain her rising impatience. all the shyness from before had dissipated in an instant.
“i’m not! it’s just that we’re obviously both bored and we’re going to be stuck here for at least another two hours anyway. we might as well be doing something productive.” saki watched as shiho ambled towards her, her expression unreadable. saki felt her cheeks burn when shiho found her way a little too close beside her. there was no reason for such an infuriating knight to be so good looking.
“don’t throw a fit once you lose then.” she simpered. saki’s lips pressed into a thin white slash.
“i have never lost to you.”
“we’ll see about that.”
saki clenched her fists so hard her knuckles turned white. “ugh, you’re so annoying! are you always this insufferable? i swear, one more time from you and i’ll—”
“are we going to spar or what?” shiho interrupted, an eyebrow raised in amusement. saki swallowed down the rage that ran red in her body. she grabbed shiho’s hand and dragged her towards the main training room. “just shut up, alright?” the absence of a counterattack told saki that she understood. at least shiho could listen to instructions.
ever since then, their frequent meetings would lead them to the training rooms, the deafening clanging of metal against metal echoing throughout the halls. when honami and ichika would have to come face to face with their knights who had buckets of sweat trickling down their faces and small rips in their clothing at the end of the day, they could only sigh in exasperation.
“saki-chan! are you ready to go?” saki was snapped out of her trance at honami’s voice. honami was already halfway across the tottering drawbridge, unmistakably on her way to yet another rendezvous with ichika.
“do i really have to come along each time?” saki whined as she ran to catch up with honami.
“i think you would make hinomori-san quite upset if you failed to show up.” saki jokingly faked a gag at the mention of the name.
“yeah right, as if she wants anything to do with me.”
honami simply giggled.
-
“hey, shiho?” saki called out. she was sure her voice was loud enough to be heard by an entire room of people, yet it didn’t seem to get to the girl standing just in front of her.
“what the hell? are you ignoring me again? how much more childish can you get?” saki was used to it— constantly being disregarded by shiho, but it didn’t necessarily mean that she was alright with it. it had been more than a year since the merger, and months since they became, in technicality, allies. despite it, there was still a bitter war that divided the two of them. the blatant insolence she was met with that day ticked her off more than it usually did.
“seriously, i get that you don’t like me. i don’t like you either, but when i talk to you, at least respond!” saki chided, swinging her sword.
“you talk too much. it’s noisy.” shiho complained apathetically, blocking saki’s attack with ease.
“so you did hear me! ugh, i wouldn’t talk so much if you would just answer me!”
“so what do you want?”
saki huffed as she lowered her sword, stepping away from the centre ground. “i was going to ask if we could end the session. it’s already 7pm. hona-chan and hoshino-san are probably done with whatever they’re doing by now.” saki pointed at the hanging rhythm clock on the wall. shiho glanced up in her finger’s direction before sheathing her sword back into her scabbard.
“oh, i guess we should. i’m leaving now.”
saki rushed over to stand in front of the door, her hands stretched out and legs apart to block shiho from leaving. “you’re not leaving yet! until you learn proper respect, i’m not letting you go!”
“this has to count as a hostage situation. let me go already.”
“that doesn’t sound very respectful to me.”
“please let me go.”
“that's not what i meant! why are you always so difficult?”
“then what do you mean, exactly?”
saki rubbed her temples in aggravation. she could feel her patience wearing thinner and thinner each passing second. “whatever, just go already.” saki gave in, her cheeks puffing up in frustration as she moved herself out of the way. she never expected herself to be so upset over shiho’s attitude. she’d been treated the same by countless of other people before, far worse as well, yet those interactions never quite broke her heart like it did whenever shiho gave her the cold shoulder.
shiho suspired deeply as she walked over to her, rubbing her arm awkwardly when saki refused to meet her eyes. “don’t take it the wrong way, saki. it’s just how i am. sorry, i guess, if i hurt your feelings.”
saki failed to keep up with her act when she gaped at her in astonishment. she never thought the day shiho apologised for something would come so early, or even come at all. “never knew you were capable of being sorry.”
“just because i can be a little stand-offish doesn’t mean i’m heartless.”
saki scoffed, but an honest smile grew on her face. “i guess you aren’t.”
-
saki cradled the bunny in her arms, brushing her cheek against its soft, well-kempt fur. she rarely had the time to venture into the castle’s garden freely, so in the occasions where she did, she would always make sure to make the most of it. and by most of it, she meant spending time with the grey bunny who somehow sneaked into the castle one day, got off the hook for it and became the castle pet. she stroked its fur blissfully, enjoying the golden tranquillity of the moment.
her peace was disrupted when she heard the sound of dried leaves crunching from behind her.
“there you are. i’ve been looking for you.”
saki spinned to face shiho, her eyes widened in surprise. “you were looking for me?”
“uhh, yeah, i was. you weren’t in the training room. what are you doing here anyway?”
“i had a bit of spare time before you and hoshino-san would be coming over. i guess i lost track of time. it’s nice out here, nicer than being stuck with you.” she spluttered, sticking her tongue out at shiho who received the gesture with a pouty moue. she redirected her attention back to the bunny she had placed back on her lap, giving it a pat on the head.
“a bunny…” shiho’s words came out in a quiet whisper, but saki could hear awe in them.
“what’s wrong? don’t like bunnies?”
a blush formed on shiho’s cheeks at her question. she kept her gaze focused on the grassy field she stood on, tugging at the bottom of her ear. “that's not it. i like them a lot, actually. ugh, it’s kind of embarrassing to admit it out loud.”
“nothing wrong with liking bunnies. though i guess it’s kinda odd in your case, considering yourself.” saki had too much pride to admit how sweet she found shiho’s fondness for the animal was.
“can i hold it? please? i’ll be really gentle.” shiho had tried to ask, but the desperation in her voice made it almost sound like a plea.
saki hummed as she carried the bunny to shiho once she settled down next to her on the grass, letting it rest on her lap. shiho’s eyes lit up immediately, the corners of her lips pinned to her cheeks in ecstasy.
“so cute…” shiho breathed as she cuddled the bunny close to her chest, petting its head affectionately. the dazzling smile on her face was something saki would never forget in her lifetime.
saki supposed that they could postpone their sparring session to another day.
-
“you don’t live here?” saki questioned while she sharpened her sword.
somehow, their sparring session had gotten sidetracked. the pair would usually draw their swords immediately upon stepping foot into the training room, but it seemed that a tiny complaint from saki had garnered enough of shiho’s attention to get her to share a bit about herself. the former had been grumbling about the journey to the castle. as always, shiho had to say something in reprisal. it seemed that the affable shiho from in the garden was gone and never to be seen again.
“i don’t. i live in one of the cottages in the village. you know, the one with the rose hedge in front?” saki suddenly thought the canopus castle looked way better than the cottages in the village.
“so you’re the owner of that cottage. seems like you put in all your effort into making your home pleasing instead of your personality.” she groused. shiho shrugged nonchalantly.
“anyway, i don’t want to hear you complaining about the travel here when i live an hour away.” saki leaned back in her chair as she crossed her legs, setting her sword aside.
“if you hate travelling so much then why don’t you just live in the castle? i’m sure there’s more than enough room to accommodate you.” saki had no idea why she even bothered to learn more about shiho. it wasn’t as if she was interested in her, of course she wasn’t, she was simply just of a curious nature, or so she told herself.
“i prefer living alone. i like my privacy and knowing that i don’t have to share anything with anyone. besides, i don’t work on saturdays.” shiho explained. saki scoffed at her reasoning.
“selfish and lazy as always i suppose.” she muttered under breath. the sound she heard following her taunt nearly knocked the wind out of her.
saki whipped her head around when low chuckles escaped from shiho’s lips. it was the first time she had heard the knight laugh. a real, genuine laugh. saki had to force herself to turn away before shiho caught her staring for too long again.
“hah, so what it takes to make you laugh is a jab from me. you’re such a weirdo.” she murmured, resting her chin in her hand. why it felt as if her heart was beating out of her chest was beyond her.
“i guess so.” shiho mused. saki stared at the girl’s face who looked to be pondering about something. saki despised the fact that she was physically attracted to her despite her absolute dumpster fire of a personality. as her brain started to wander into the debarred realm yet again, the sudden sight of a sword pointed at her chest pulled her back to reality.
“get up, we’re starting soon.”
shiho didn’t have to repeat it twice.
-
the next few days rolled by fast. saki found herself inside the training room of the sirius castle once more like it was a routine. it was the same as always for her— welcoming herself onto the training grounds unannounced, disregarding the other knight who would almost always have a gloomy expression on her face and getting to work on sharpening her sword, but something was different that day.
“excuse me, tenma-san.” saki turned around at the sound of her name. she was met with a young servant of the sirius faction, her head slightly lowered and arms by the side until saki bid her to speak.
“are you looking for hinomori-san by any chance?”
“i am. any idea where she is?”
“hinomori-san is out sick today. she told me to tell you that if you want to see her, you can find her at her own place.” the servant informed, passing saki a slip of paper. sure enough, there was none other than shiho’s prissy and prim handwriting on the letter that read just that.
“thank you for your help. i’ll be off now.” saki thanked as she stepped out of the room. it seemed like she was going to have to make a bit of a detour before she could commence her routine again.
after a quick stop at a village restaurant, saki found herself at shiho’s doorstep. she stood there unmoving, dithering over whether she should just leave the paper bag on her porch or knock on the door and actually make her presence known. after a few seconds of dallying, she made three firm knocks on the door.
the door creaked open, revealing a very sick shiho who was bundled up in her duvet. “saki? i didn’t think you would actually show up.” she confessed, a fit of dry coughs following after. saki pushed past the girl and walked inside the cottage as if she owned the place. she set down the paper bag onto the coffee table before reaching for the food in it.
“what even happened to you? you were just fine yesterday.”
“some kid accidentally sneezed on me on the way home.” she sniffed.
“knowing you, that kid probably did it on purpose. whatever it was, you deserved it.”
shiho hummed in response. she plopped herself down on the sofa and laid on her back, snuggling into the duvet. saki was ashamed to say she found it rather endearing. saki’s footsteps were soft against the hardwood floors as she made her way over to shiho. she crouched down in front of shiho before gently placing a wet washcloth on her forehead. saki sighed when she started to make a fuss over the uncomfortable coldness on her forehead.
“stop complaining. do you want to feel better or not?” she lectured. she blocked out the rest of her complaints as she reached her arm over to the plastic container on the coffee table filled with tofu and miso soup that she had bought, bringing it closer to her at the edge of the table.
“hey, saki. why are you even doing this anyway? it’s not like we’re particularly close or anything.”
saki’s arm froze in its place at shiho’s question. shiho made a good point. why was she doing this? they used to be enemies, they still were. they fought, they mocked each other, and they have always considered themselves far from being friends. nonetheless, there was an odd feeling that rested within saki that started to show up after she started spending more time with the other knight after the wars. it nudged her constantly whenever shiho was around, whenever she simply thought about her. even in that moment, when she was in front of shiho in her home, the feeling prodded at her.
‘stop overthinking it, saki. surely it’s just hatred. there’s no way it could be anything else. yeah, it’s hatred. it definitely is. she’s just trying to confuse you. the reason why you’re doing this is because…… you just have no one else to spar with! that’s right!’ saki reasoned with herself.
“i would have nobody to spar with if you’re sick.”
“is sparring really that important for you to personally tend to me?”
“it’s just… it’s just a good and effective way to train as a knight, okay? stop asking questions already!” saki ordered, her face completely flushed.
“heh, you’re blushing. it’s kinda cute.” shiho teased as she poked at saki’s cheek. if saki wasn’t a blazing red before, then she certainly was now.
“i’m not! i’m just red because you’re annoying the hell out of me! stop flattering yourself and get your hands off me before your soup turns cold! why are you acting like this? you’re so weird when you’re sick.”
saki ignored the way shiho clicked her tongue in annoyance. she carefully carried the container in her hand, scooping some of the soup in a spoon before gently blowing on it to cool it down. she lowered the spoon of soup in front of shiho’s mouth, a cube of tofu touching her lips.
“i can feed myself, you know. and just so you know, i don’t like tofu.” shiho mumbled as she turned her head away from the spoon.
“keep quiet and drink it already. don’t be picky.”
fortunately, shiho gulped down the soup and, though begrudgingly, swallowed the tofu, saving her the headache that always threatened to make an appearance every time they bickered.
“thanks, saki. i mean it.” she murmured. saki’s breath hitched.
“yeah, i know you did.”
-
saki threw her hands up, a point directed at shiho’s face. shiho parried quickly and reflexively, pushing the sword aside. saki tried to sneakily cut in from another side but was quickly found out when shiho moved to counter-thrust her attack. the two moved back and forth as they drove each other around in the room.
shiho had gotten better faster than expected. in just a week, she was out and about again, back in the training room for their sparring sessions. her form was just as superb as it was before, but saki noticed that something had changed within shiho. she couldn’t put a finger on what it was exactly. after recovering, she was back to her normal self, cold and stoic for a majority of the time. but whenever saki would dare to peer at her over her shoulder, there would be a small smile on her face. tiny and barely noticeable, but it indeed was a true and bona fide smile. it was as if she was in a constant daze. saki didn’t bother to point it out. she rather liked that look on shiho.
they stood one-on-one, both their attacks warded off by the other with swords. their blades fought for dominance, the hard steels scraping against each other. amidst the tension in the room, shiho opened her mouth to speak.
“this kinda feels like déjà vu, doesn’t it?”
saki’s state of mind was instantly transported back to the time of war. shiho was right, they’d been in the exact same positions they were in that moment a long time ago. two knights fighting for their respective factions in the middle of the battlefield, fatigued yet determined. saki remembered the look on shiho’s face the first time they went head to head. there was a threatening glint in her eyes that stared at her through hooded lids. her brows were furrowed in concentration and resolution. there was a subtle frown on her face as their blades were held out to keep the other at bay. but when saki looked at shiho’s face in the present, something had changed. her eye had become softer, the wicked glint replaced with a shine more mischievous than it was anything else. she had an eyebrow raised at her, as if she was challenging her. there was a confident smirk that danced across her face. saki hated to admit that it was somewhat charming.
in the midst of saki’s reminiscing, shiho successfully flung her sword to the side while her guard was down. saki had no time to even process the situation before she was pinned against the wall, shiho’s sword at her neck.
“give up. you lose.” she jeered.
“you brought that up to distract me, didn’t you? that wasn’t fair play at all! i swear, you…” saki’s ramble died on the tip of her tongue when she came to realise just how close shiho was to her. she could feel shiho’s ragged breath against her skin, warm and harsh. shiho’s hand was placed dangerously close by her waist on the wall, trapping her with no way to escape. she had unconsciously grabbed onto shiho’s upper arm in the process as well, to her embarrassment. it seemed that shiho realised their dangerous proximity as well when her lips parted slightly in shock. they stared at each other in complete and utter surprise. only when the deafening sound of metal clanging against the floor was made did saki snap out of her stupor. a clumsy mistake like that was not common for shiho. truth to be told, saki had not once seen her mess up before, it was something completely out of the question. she looked at shiho in concern.
“shiho? why did you drop your sword? are you still unwell?”
shiho stayed quiet for what felt like an eternity until she was able to mumble a response. “listen, if you don’t want this, just push me away and we can pretend like nothing ever happened.” shiho whispered. “forgive me for being selfish as always, saki.”
it all happened so fast that by the time shiho cupped her chin in her hand, her brain had barely comprehended a single word shiho said. saki knew that logically, she should have stopped her. that was her enemy, the person she detested the most. but saki didn’t hesitate for even a second when she closed her eyes, silently anticipating what was to come. soon enough, shiho’s lips were on hers. her lips were unexpectedly soft, the tenderness of it all making saki’s world go still. she brought her palm to hold the back of shiho’s neck, angling her head to deepen the kiss. her other hand still held onto shiho’s upper arm tightly. saki’s mind drew a blank as she lost herself in the warmth of their kiss. it was undeniably sweet, so much so that saki almost thought shiho loved her. she had to stifle a whine when shiho pulled away. before saki had the chance to say something, shiho had already turned away.
“haha, um, a-anyway, we should get going! like, uh, right now! yes, we totally should! d-don’t want ichika and mochizuki-san to worry about us!” shiho stuttered as she bolted out of the training room, nearly tripping over nothing on her way out. saki remained unmoving against the wall, as if she was being held back by an invisible force. she lifted a finger to touch her lips in disbelief. there was no way she would be getting over that for a very, very long time.
-
she was right. that night when she tucked herself into bed to get ready for the weekend ahead, her mind kept replaying their kiss on loop. the mere thought of it was enough to fill her with an encompassing warmth. why did shiho do it? hold her, touch her, kiss her. what was she thinking when decided to do it? maybe she just wanted saki to shut up and back down. she was admittedly annoying at times. maybe it was just the heat of the moment. a random, impulsive thought that she could not fight in the spur of it all. or maybe shiho had been carrying her own feelings as well, emotions similar to saki’s. an ardour for each other that managed to bloom so beautifully despite the harsh conditions.
saki scratched the last idea away. there was not a single chance that shiho may even feel a smidge of the same way she did. so what if she kissed her? so what if she always put up with her? maybe it was all just an elaborate ploy to ruin her. to make her fall hard and laugh in her face at her gullibility. but shiho wasn’t that kind of person. she was stand-offish at times, a bit too blunt and sometimes a little maddening, yet saki was confident that she wasn’t that kind of person. her touch was gentle when she held her, like saki was her entire world that would shatter if she wasn’t careful. her words were sharp on her tongue, but she never purposefully tried to hurt her. even when they sparred, she often stayed clear from aiming at saki’s head despite it being the best target.
a faint pink hue dusted saki’s cheeks and neck the more she thought about it, the more she thought about her. how did this even happen? when did she first catch feelings for shiho? she was so sure that just yesterday they were at each other’s throats, fueled by nothing but pure disdain. saki buried her face deeper into the covers.
if she was lulled to sleep by the thought of shiho and her tender touches, she would never admit it.
-
saki was convinced that honami was able to read minds when she sat across from her for breakfast the next morning.
“ah, saki-chan! i’m giving you a day off today, so you’re free to go wherever you— saki-chan? are you feeling well? your face is all red.” she asked, worried.
saki straightened at honami’s words, clearing her throat as she reached for the bread roll on her plate. “don’t worry, hona-chan. i’m fine.”
“is it about hinomori-san?”
saki dropped the bread roll back onto her plate in shock.
“what? of course not! why would you even think that?” she laughed, though a little more shaky than she would have liked. honami crossed her arms as her face morphed into a stern expression.
“yesterday i saw hinomori-san running out of the training room alone. when ichika-chan and i tried to ask her where you were she just yelled saying she “fucked up” or something and told us to apologise to you for her. i think she almost tripped over her own feet afterwards. you know you can’t lie to me, saki-chan. so tell me, what happened?” saki twiddled her thumbs from under the table. she had to find a way to get out of her predicament. and fast.
“w-woah, hona-chan! that’s the first time i’ve heard you swear in such a long time! ahaha, who knew you still had it in you!” saki blurted in an attempt to change the subject. she knew it wasn’t working, judging from the way both she and honami visibly cringed.
“i was just repeating what hinomori-san said. now, tell me what happened. i’m worried.” when she realised she had no chance of fleeing, saki hunched over.
“we kissed.” saki whispered, though loud enough for honami to stare at her like she had confessed to holding an entire family hostage.
“you what?”
“we kissed, alright? we kissed. that’s all.” she said the words firmer, but the bashful expression on her face was far from her tone of voice.
“oh my, you two finally did it!” honami clapped, weirdly proud. “how did it happen? who leaned in first? how was it? i’m so happy for you two! ah, but now i owe ichika-chan so much money…” she trailed off.
“hey! i don’t kiss and tell! also did you and hoshino-san seriously make a bet on us? i can’t believe the two of you!”
“that’s besides the point, don’t sweat it.” honami brushed off. “anyway, i wish you two all the best.”
it took everything in saki to not explode from embarrassment. and maybe also from the giddiness of fantasising over a certain shared future.
-
saki had to bite down on her lower lip to prevent herself from hissing in pain. saki was a seasoned warrior, having fought countless battles despite her young age. what she lacked in strategizing and skill she made up with pure grit and strength.
sometimes she wondered if she relied a bit too much on her muscles.
while the signing of the peace treaty managed to put an end to the years of wars, the abiding hatred that filled the hearts of a select few individuals in both factions never went away. a group of such people just so happened to come across her while she was making her way out of the village after spending some time there on her off day.
she was proud of her status. a shining knight of the canopus faction, young but strong, inexperienced but unrelenting. her name was made known all across the nation. she couldn’t have dreamt of a different life, but god did she wish it were someone else in her place right then.
in hindsight, she should’ve just taken up the officer’s offer to bring her to the hospital instead of insisting otherwise. the attackers struck her hard, even moving her shoulder just an inch posed to be a challenge after warding a whole gang off on her own. the wound stung against her shirt that rubbed against it, soaking the cloth at the mere touch. her legs were battered and bruised, to the point it hurt to even keep herself upright. the villagers in the area had retreated into the safety of their homes at the news, not a single one of them willing to open up in fear of being the next target. she staggered down the empty streets aimlessly, wandering to wherever her feet took her. her mind spoke nothing but cries for help with each step she took. the hospital was too far away. she needed to look for some place else.
-
she soon found herself in front of a cottage near the outskirts of the village. she was barely standing anymore, nearly keeling over in agony. she opened her eyes blearily, fatigued and worn out from both the exertion and great affliction.
hundreds of wildeve roses decorated the humble abode, their colour a similar shade to the dyed tips of her hair. the leaves around them were neatly trimmed to avoid overcrowding, giving way for the flowers to stand out beautifully. the rose hedge was one of a kind.
she knocked on the door continuously, each one becoming progressively weaker as she slid downwards to rest on the front porch. it was a saturday. she knew the owner was in, but whether she would open up and welcome her in was another matter. she could only pray that she would be shown some hospitality. it seemed that lady luck was on her side when she heard the door latch click open.
“what the fuck? what happened to you? quick, get in!” saki was taken aback by the distressed tone in shiho’s voice. she had never once heard shiho so distraught, not even during battle. the fact that it was because of her that she reacted that way for the first time was enough to make her heart skip a beat, despite the pain she was in. maybe she was a little bit more enamoured with her than she thought.
saki hobbled into her cottage as she watched shiho scramble in and out of rooms, her arms getting fuller by the second. saki felt herself going cross-eyed.
“alright, tell me what happened.” shiho demanded, setting down everything in her hands on her coffee table. saki could barely focus when shiho kneeled to clean the gashes on her legs.
“just some group of lowlifes. still unhappy over the merger. nothing i couldn’t handle though!” she smiled, albeit weakly. she grimaced when she saw the disapproving look on shiho’s face.
“what? you don’t think i can defend myself?”
shiho could only shake her head in demurral.“i know you can handle them. i don’t doubt your abilities. but seriously, stop acting like you’re alright! you’re clearly hurt! you’re lucky you didn’t pass out on the way.” saki’s façade faded upon being told off. she slouched into herself.
“i’m sorry.”
“i'm not angry, saki. i’m glad you’re okay.”
neither of the two said a thing afterwards. shiho worked in silence the rest of the time, gently cleaning the gashes and wounds on her legs diligently before wrapping them up with soft bandages. saki wasn't able to tear her eyes away from shiho. how could she? when the girl she had spent so long hating kissed her so lovingly just a day ago, so sickeningly saccharine she could’ve mistaken her feelings for something so much greater. for those few seconds, she felt wanted, needed. it radiated a warmth that transcended past boundaries. there was not a single word in the thick, hardback dictionary sitting in the dusty library that could describe just how sublime it all was. and now she was doing her best to take care of her, patching her up so she’ll come out just fine. even when shiho removed her hand from her leg, the spark from the touch still lingered.
“i need you to take your shirt off.”
saki’s train of thought had never been cut off so fast. she stared at shiho incredulously, a vivid blush all over her face that spread to her ears and neck.
“i-i mean, like, i need to bandage the wound on your shoulder, so, like, i need you to take your shirt off so i can see it, you know? a-ahaha, i should’ve specified that earlier. my bad. uh, you don’t have to be shy or anything. it’s just me anyway.” shiho stuttered, her usual stern front faltering in a second. saki didn’t know how to tell shiho that it was because of the fact that it was her that she was so shy.
“um… i don’t think i can lift my shirt up on my own. my shoulder is injured, remember?” the nervous smile on shiho’s face dropped in an instant, a more flustered look appearing on her incredibly red face.
“oh shit, uh, just turn away from me then. i’ll help you. i promise i won’t look.”
saki did as she was told, shifting in her place to make her back face shiho. as she aided her in removing her shirt, she wondered what was the look on her face. she wished she could see it.
“gosh, you have so many scars on your back.” shiho whispered. saki shuddered when shiho grazed her finger along one of them.
“i wonder where all those came from.” she said teasingly, in hopes of breaking the awkward tension between them.
“… i’m sorry.”
saki panicked when she received the opposite of what she had hoped for. so much for breaking the tension.
“no, it’s alright. it was duty. you had no choice.”
“god, saki, it’s not alright!” saki jumped when shiho raised her voice so suddenly. “i’ve hurt you for so many years because of all those stupid fucking wars. what i did is not something you can just brush off so easily!” somehow, the pain in shiho’s voice stung more than the towel and antiseptic against the wound on her shoulder.
saki interrupted her before she could say anything more. “listen to me. i know you have hurt me. the scars you see on my back prove that you have. but i know you never meant to. we are knights, we have to protect our people. unfortunately, it just so happened that our people used to be on opposing sides. you did your job as i did mine. i’ve hurt you as well, shiho.” the words poured out so naturally from her heart, as if they had been waiting for months to be set free. saki wasn’t sure when it was, but as they spent more time together, the grudge she had held so tightly before was let go by her own hands, left behind and never picked up again. saki turned to face shiho, not a single care in the world about the state she was in.
“i tell you it’s alright because i’ve already forgiven you. i hope you can forgive me as well.”
the visible wave of relief that washed over shiho and the beam that followed as a result of it made her heart throb.
“i’ve forgiven you a long time ago, saki. ah, also, i’ve finished dressing your wound. uh, i don’t think you can wear your shirt though so just wear this in the meantime.” shiho explained, throwing the shirt she set on the table at saki’s face as she looked away from her, suddenly becoming more aware of her.
“ugh, way to ruin the mood.” saki grumbled jokingly as shiho helped her into the shirt. she hoped shiho couldn’t sense her nervousness when shiho’s fingers accidentally brushed against her skin.
“um, i want to talk to you about something else, saki. and apologise too.”
“what is it?”
“about yesterday. i’m sorry for… kissing you all of a sudden. i made you really uncomfortable. i’m really sorry. i know i’m asking for a lot right now but i hope you can just forget about it and pretend nothing happened.” shiho apologised through quivering lips, her head hung low in shame.
saki placed her hand under shiho’s chin, lifting her head till she met her eyes.
“close your eyes.”
shiho looked at her in bewilderment. “huh? uh, okay.”
saki took a moment to admire the girl before her. her lashes were long, she would have been jealous if she wasn’t so entranced. her small lips were in a slight pout, awaiting saki’s next move. a fond smile found its way on saki’s lips as she stared at the sight before her.
she leaned forward till she met shiho in a gentle kiss. the odd feeling prodded at her once again. it was then when she realised it was love. it always had been. saki could feel shiho’s smile against her lips, and she was sure shiho can feel hers as well. she moved her hands to wrap around her neck while shiho lowered her own to rest on the small of her back, pressing her closer.
saki put a hand on shiho’s cheek as they broke apart, a gleam so adoring in shiho’s eyes it could have easily sent her into a fever. it was love. saki was sure of it.
“if you want me to forget about yesterday, then you’ll have to let me remember today.”
saki never received a response when shiho closed the gap between them again. not that she minded anymore, of course.