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Sugiura got into Kamurocho as it was getting dark. It was nearly seven and the man had a feeling his lover would be fussing around at his arcade. Sugiura scanned the buildings, climbing a ladder to get to the roofs. It’d been too long he’d been topside and he felt right back at home.
His time with the sky was short lived; he might’ve lived in Ijincho for three years now, but the roofs would always be his home and he had learned to get around fast to avoid getting caught by the cops. He got to the ground a few minutes later and walked the rest of the way to Charles.
When he got in, he wasn’t shocked to find Higashi hovering over a game machine, a toolbox next to him. Higashi had been saying that lately, his normal contractors he had to fix the machines were busy, so Sugiura assumed the man was taking matters into his own hands and attempting to make his own repairs. Higashi had been working at the arcade for at least ten years now, it wasn’t shocking he knew his way around the machines.
Sugiura was shocked to find Jun. He was leaning back against the counter, eyes fixed on the owner. The usual clerk was gone; Charles was far less busy at night, so Higashi tended to let the clerk go and watch over the arcade himself. Sugiura wondered if Jun caught on and allotted night time arcade visits into his schedule; Jun was a smart kid, he’d notice a pattern fast.
“Hey, Sadamoto-kun,” Sugiura greeted. Jun jumped, eyes darting to Sugiura. The teen let out a breath and straightened his posture.
“Hi, Sugiura-san,” he greeted back. He glanced at Higashi, who had turned to look at the two of them. Higashi put down his screwdriver and stood up, walking over to them.
“I didn’t know you were coming over,” he said. He looked and sounded tired. Sugiura wanted to surprise the man, but he wondered if it was better to at least call him first and tell him he planned on being over. Higashi looked at Jun. “Didn’t know you were here either. Did I do something?”
“Of course not,” Jun smiled. He was going to be fifteen, heading to high school very soon. It would be an awkward time for Jun as he made new friends and experienced all different kinds of things that life offered to teenagers with growing pains. Sugiura knew Jun had already experienced so much; he was lucky to have men like Kaito and Higashi on his side, though one seemed more present for the teen than the other. Sugiura wondered if it’s why Jun seemed so attached to Higashi.
He also wondered if Higashi even noticed.
“Thought I’d surprise you. Work’s a little slow, so I’m around for a little bit,” Sugiura explained. If Jun weren’t standing right there, he’d throw himself at his lover and kiss him hard. If he felt mean he’d do it anyway, assert his dominance and let Jun know he’d been there first and had lots of history with Higashi. But Sugiura was an adult and Jun was half his age, and it was quite unnecessary, plus Sugiura was a bigger man than that. “Oh, speaking of surprises. I’ve got a thing I wanna show you.”
Higashi grit his teeth and glanced over his shoulder at the mess of a machine he had. He groaned and looked at Sugiura.
“I wish you’d called me or something,” he said. He hated disappointing Sugiura, knew he didn’t always get much time off and the time they could spend together was a blessing, but he was having a shitty time as an arcade owner.
Jun kept looking between the two. This was an adult thing and he sensed something. Not a bad something, or even an adult thing like Kaito mentioned when Jun wanted to talk about his feelings, but more like a thing that had nothing to do with him.
“I’ll get going if you’re busy,” he stated. His plan had been to visit the arcade and play some games. He’d been attempting to get out of Kaito’s small apartment when he could; three people in such a crowded place was too much for the teen sometimes. Everyone could hear everything, and Jun sometimes felt like he couldn’t do anything without questioning. It wasn’t bad at all, Mikiko loved him and wanted to ensure he was okay, but Jun just felt like he couldn’t do anything without everyone knowing.
Charles was his safe space. He liked Higashi and the clerk was kind to him as well, but he felt like he could be alone and unbothered when he needed time to himself. Night time was the best because it was normally just Higashi and maybe a couple of other patrons, so Jun could do as he pleased.
“I’ll walk you home, Sadamoto-kun,” Sugiura said. Jun looked at him shocked, but he was happy. He missed his friends and even though he’d only met Sugiura once, he had a fun time with the older man when they hung out at the carnival. He felt like Sugiura got him in some ways. “I’ll be back in a bit, Higashi-san?”
“Sorry,” Higashi mumbled. Sugiura walked up to him, leaned in close.
“It’s fine, I’ll come back later and we can go home together,” he whispered. It wasn’t as much of a living situation as when Higashi was in Ijincho, but his doors were always open to Sugiura and he had given him a key some time back. Higashi smiled at the man and Sugiura returned to Jun. “Let’s go, Sadamoto-kun!”
The two left the arcade. Jun glanced at Sugiura, thinking of what to ask. He had questions, but he didn’t know what to ask or how to word things properly. He knew Sugiura, Higashi, and Kaito were close. Kaito and Higashi, he knew about them from his mother’s old diary, but Sugiura was an enigma. He knew there was history somewhere and Yagami seemed to tie in there as well, but he just didn’t know how.
“You and Higashi-san seem very close,” was definitely the awkward statement Jun wanted to start with. He sensed it at the carnival too; they seemed surprised and blind-sided when Kaito walked up to them, like he’d interrupted something. Of course Kaito didn’t notice it; for a guy who worked at a detective agency, he didn’t seem to notice a lot of things. Jun was starting to think he’d built up a hero in his head from reading his mother's diaries a little too much, and the narrator was a fallible, biased souce; Kaito unfortunately was very human and couldn’t live up to the perfect man Jun had imagined.
“We’ve known each other a long time,” Sugiura said. “We worked together on a big case several years ago, and we kept in touch even after it was done. We’re a lot alike in some ways, so I guess it brings us together.”
“Ah,” Jun couldn’t compete with history. He wasn’t trying to have competition with anyone and he liked Sugiura anyway. He treated Jun like an equal rather than a kid, same with Higashi. Jun wondered if they’d adopt him.
It wasn’t a weird thought, right?
“Are things going better with Kaito-san and your mom?” Sugiura asked. Jun sighed and kept his eyes on the ground. It told Sugiura that despite Kaito returning to his job, things were probably roughly the same as when Jun left them.
“It’s going a little better,” Jun said. He looked at Sugiura. “Mom took me with her to go shopping a couple days after the carnival, I told her that for everything that happened, she moved on from it all pretty fast. Maybe not the best way to put it.”
“It went poorly?” Sugiura asked. From what Higashi told him of Jun, the kid had a mouth on him and didn’t mince words. Jun seemed like a plucky kid and Sugiura knew that with time, he’d grow into a confident man that could learn when and how to speak his mind. He was barely a teen, he needed to go through his growing pains.
“It went a little better than I expected,” Jun replied. “She didn’t speak to me during the shopping trip, but she told me she understood where I was coming from. She gave me the whole spiel about what my dad did to her family and a bunch of innocent people, and I guess it’s why she’s moved on so fast. I didn’t get a lot of time to talk, but I think I got her thinking about it. I don’t mind if she hates dad’s guts, she has a right; he was a piece of shit and did a lot of bad. But I don’t think she understands that I can’t even though he was a shitty father. He was still my dad anyway.”
“Did she talk to Kaito-san about it?” Sugiura asked. Back when he was still in contact with his parents, anything Sugiura said to his mom, it made it back to his father. Sugiura loved his mother, but he picked and chose what he told her because of it. He understood that to her, the man of the house knew everything, but sometimes he wished he could keep things between them. Emi and his mother had a great relationship, probably because they were women and had that kind of camaraderie between them that men just didn’t have. Sugiura wished he had the same thing with his mother, but wishes didn’t often touch reality.
“Yeah,” Jun nodded his head. “He sat me down, we talked about dad for a while. He said that even though dad did bad things, he knew the man was still my father and that so much change in such a short span of time would be hard on anyone. He apologized that no one asked me about how I felt.”
“And how do you feel about it all now?” Sugiura asked. Jun smiled. He didn’t know much about Sugiura, but he wondered if he had a troubled past as well and it’s why he took so much care to ensure Jun could speak freely without judgment. There was just something about what and how he asked that told Jun he understood, and it felt nice to be heard.
“I feel like it would be nice if they could hear me out without feeling the need to bring up how bad my father was every time. I know he did so many things and hurt a lot of people, but… I don’t think they think about how I watched him get killed,” Jun explained. Sugiura’s jaw dropped. “He was bad, he was a shitty father, but I never wanted to see or hear it happen. And worse, I don’t need to be reminded of him when I want them to know that just because they’re okay with their choices, it doesn’t mean I’m doing as great as them. I mean, I’m managing as best I can, but how can they act like they’re better than him when I just feel so alone?”
Jun gasped as he felt Sugiura hug him. Jun sighed, wanted to cry knowing that this man he barely knew was being more respectful and caring right now. He loved his mother and Kaito, he knew his mom was hurting just as much, but he also felt like she didn't think of the aftermath of it how Jun would feel about it all and what would come up as a result. He wanted to talk to her about the hurt, her loss, their loss, how they had each other despite it. But Mikiko was acting like it was fine even though Jun knew it wasn’t. He knew adults couldn’t just mope in their feelings; they had things they needed to attend to. But he felt like he was getting nowhere and like these feelings he couldn’t get out were going to eat him alive.
He was crying. Sugiura rubbed his back but said nothing, just let the boy cry. It felt good. Even if Jun couldn’t talk it out with Mikiko or Kaito, at least he could get it out somewhere.
“Thanks for talking to me, Sugiura-san,” Jun said. It meant a lot to him. In the past he wanted to grow strong and be like Kaito, but now Jun was thinking he wanted to be more like Sugiura. He’d asked Higashi about him now and then, thought it was really cool that Sugiura practically flew through Kamurocho on the roofs.
Besides, Jun felt like he didn’t really have the stature to be as big as Kaito. He was on the smaller side, but could still pack a mean punch. Sugiura was the perfect role model for Jun.
“I think I can get home from here,” Jun continued. Kaito’s apartment wasn’t too far, and he wanted a little time to himself to think about what he was feeling.
“Okay,” Sugiura replied. “We exchanged contact information. If you need someone to talk to, please just send me a message or a call. I’m happy to talk to you about anything.”
“Okay,” Jun smiled. “You know, if you and Tsukumo-san need some help with cases or just need some extra muscle, I think I can swing on by!”
Sugiura chuckled, though he thought having some backup if cases needed more physical work would be great. Sugiura was a lean man, but having someone small like Jun to get around where Sugiura was too big could be nice. He’d think about it, bring it up with Tsukumo. It would probably be nice for Jun to be out of the house and doing something so meaningful, but Sugiura had a feeling he’d be busy with school soon enough.
“I’ll let you know,” Sugiura finally said. Jun smiled and bowed before turning and walking home. He was a good kid, Sugiura hoped everything went okay for him. He was getting somewhere and it was a start.
Sugiura returned to Charles. Higashi had closed the place, but Sugiura was great at lockpicking and got in without hassle, making sure to re-lock the doors once he was inside. Higashi was deep in the machine, had removed his blazer and unbuttoned a button from his shirt.
“I’m back,” Sugiura walked to the counter. Higashi’s phone sat there completely undisturbed. “I’m taking your phone and going in the back.”
“There’s some games on there if you want,” Higashi called over his shoulder. He didn’t care if Sugiura had his phone; he had nothing to hide. “I don’t know when I’ll be done.”
“Take your time, I know you’ve had a hard time lately. I’m sorry I didn’t call first,” Sugiura said. Higashi got up and wiped his forehead. He walked to the counter, leaning in to give Sugiura a kiss.
“It’s fine. I just feel bad I can’t make you a nice dinner or anything,” Higashi looked at his phone in Sugiura’s hand. “Just don’t delete anything or send anyone funny messages.”
“Please, I’m nearly thirty now,” Sugiura grinned. Higashi rolled his eyes, but returned to his project. Sugiura walked to the back office, dropped down onto the couch. Unadulterated access to Higashi’s phone; more or less where he kept everything.
Sugiura was shocked when he first learned how proficient Higashi was with technology. Charles was kind of dated and Sugiura thought Higashi would be the same way when they met, but he kept up with a lot.
Sugiura went straight to Higashi’s photo gallery. There wasn’t a lot of photos taken recently; a couple pictures of Sugiura, some pictures with Sugiura, a very cute selfie with Jun, and mostly pictures of the arcade. He figured the latter was for business reasons. Higashi didn’t seem like much of a picture taker.
As Sugiura scrolled further down, he found lots of pictures. They were from years ago, before Kaito was out of the family. Higashi took tons of pictures. He had selfies with who Sugiura guessed to be fellow members of the Matsugane Family. Higashi looked different. He looked young and hopeful. His hair was black, and he wore normal glasses. His eyes were bigger and full of light, less signs of stress in his face, and his attire was more subdued. Sugiura wondered if he started going for silk shirts as an homage to Kaito, though Higashi’s weren’t obnoxiously colored or shiny.
There were selfies with Matsugane; the two looked so happy. Sugiura had barely seen the patriarch and had never spoken to him, but the way Kaito, Higashi, and Yagami spoke about him, Sugiura wished he’d known Matsugane as well.
There was a picture of Hamura asleep on a couch, googly eyes on his face and a small, sparkly toy crown on his head. Some yakuza were laughing in the background, and a couple were posing for the picture. It seemed like once upon a time, the Matsugane Family was the fun place to be. Even Hamura didn’t look as psychotic as usual, and clearly the men felt safe enough to deface him a little as he slept.
No wonder Higashi was so broken after everything that had happened.
Sugiura kept scrolling, found lots of pictures of either Higashi with Kaito, or just Kaito doing various things either at Charles or around the city. Higashi didn’t talk a lot about his time in the Matsugane Family, though Sugiura didn’t ask. It seemed like a sad memory, and he wasn’t sure there was much he needed to know. But from the looks of things, it seemed like the happiest time of Higashi’s life, though anything probably beat a family that constantly berated and beat up on Higashi.
Sugiura fell upon a picture that shocked him. It was Higashi, probably younger than Sugiura was during the AD-9 case, and he was with the Survive bartender. The bartender looked younger, but so much more serious, especially in his black suit. Higashi looked so young, fresh, and unbothered by life. He was winking and giving the peace sign, and the bartender had a small smile, but Sugiura could just feel a sense of annoyance.
“Definitely Tojo,” Sugiura said to himself. He always knew there was more to the bartender than just owning Survive, but Sugiura never wanted to pry. He usually only went to the bar with Higashi, though he’d met a big guy with big hair that reminded Sugiura a lot of Kaito, and sometimes they’d hang out at the bar for drinks if Sugiura was done with work.
He looked at the picture again. Fuck, Higashi was really cute before the Matsugane Family had taken such a nosedive. He was attractive now, but he had a certain air of freedom and happiness that just seemed long gone. Sugiura wondered if it was why Higashi barely talked about his past; too painful a reminder of what used to be, and how different Higashi had been.
Sugiura felt like he’d only gone up as he got older; years of sticking in his room were nothing to brag about, but Sugiura knew it was just part of his past and he’d since moved on and changed for the better. Being a shut-in pushed him to become a better man so he would never feel so worthless ever again. Higashi was in a better place now; he owned two arcades, had a nice, small circle of friends, and a great love life, but at what cost? Sacrifice was necessary when things truly mattered, but Sugiura felt like Higashi had sacrificed so much. He was happy now, but Sugiura wondered if Higashi would change anything.
If things had gone smoothly, Sugiura wondered if they would even have met. Even if they had, he wasn’t sure if they’d have the same connection they did and ever be where they were now. He knew it didn’t matter, because Hamura had fucked up by working with Kuroiwa, and Higashi and Sugiura had met.
Higashi didn’t tend to get caught up in the past like Sugiura did.
He heard the door open, looked up to see Higashi standing there looking absolutely exhausted. When Higashi’s eyes fell on Sugiura, he smiled.
“Having fun?” he moved to sit next to Sugiura. He took off his prescription sunglasses and placed them on the table before giving Sugiura a kiss on the cheek. He noticed the image on his phone. “Oh… Kashiwagi-san.”
“That’s his name?” Sugiura asked. He always wanted to ask when he was at the bar, but he was intimidated and kept his questions to himself. He looked down at the phone before turning the screen off and handing the phone to Higashi. “I was curious what kind of pics you took, so I went through your gallery. I didn’t expect you to take so many pictures.”
“Yeah, I figured one day I’d write a book about the Family or something, share it with the guys and we could all have a laugh and remember good times,” Higashi explained. He sighed. “Planned on dedicating it to Matsugane-san; he was good to us. I figured he’d retire one day and start a farm very far away with Genda-san.”
“Genda-san?” Sugiura asked.
“Y-yeah,” Higashi said. He had to remember that unlike Kaito and Yagami, Sugiura didn’t know about everyone’s business. “They were best friends for a long time, always fighting together despite being part of vastly different worlds. They practically raised Yagami together when Matsugane took him in. No one really talked about it, but we all knew how much they meant to the other.”
“I guess Genda-san isn’t married. He’s so nice and sweet, I was always shocked no woman swooped him off his feet,” Sugiura stated. He felt like he was learning so much today about the people he cared about. He turned to Higashi. “You looked so happy. I met you when everything was going horribly for you and your men because of the fact that you refused to take down Yagami-san, it never occurred to me that there was a time you enjoyed life so much.”
Higashi laughed. Leave it to Sugiura to speak so frankly about Higashi's past. But he had a point; before Hamura started all that shit, the Family was in a good place and it felt like everyone could laugh and be happy, even Hamura.
“It was a long time ago,” Higashi said. “I’m happy where I am even if life was shitty for a while. The Family would’ve been dissolved even if Hamura hadn’t fucked everything up, and where would I be right now in that case? I have my arcades and I have you, that’s all that matters in the end.”
“Even more than Kaito-san?” Sugiura grinned. Higashi sighed, and Sugiura wondered if he’d been talking to Jun as well. Higashi put his arm around Sugiura’s shoulders and pulled him close.
“So you wanted to show me something?” he asked. Right! Sugiura had gotten so sidetracked by Jun and Higashi that he completely forgot about Yagami’s dance video.
“It can wait until the morning,” Sugiura said. Higashi had had a rough day and it was late; the video would be better appreciated once Higashi got in some sleep and breakfast. “Done for the night?”
“I could fuck around a little more, but at this point, I’m nervous I’ll just make things worse. The machine works at least,” Higashi explained. He got up, pulled Sugiura up with him. “Let’s just go home. It’ll be nice to just be with you again.”
Sugiura smiled as they left the arcade and were back on the streets of Kamurocho. Despite everything, Higashi wouldn’t trade what he had for his old life and it made Sugiura feel good. He liked their life together and felt like after all the shit they went through, they deserved that bit of happiness.
No ‘what ifs’ could change what happened in their lives, but Sugiura could admit he often got stuck on them. Higashi was steadfast and didn’t let that kind of stuff occupy his mind. Sugiura felt that they were similar in some ways, but he knew Higashi was a stronger man. He’d had more time to make peace with his lot in life and he was forced to come to terms with everything that happened.
And despite those pains, Higashi could let them go because what he had now was all worth it. Sugiura had let go of his pain as well, but sometimes he still thought of them. He supposed it was something he would get better at as time went on and he got older. He’d probably fumble as he learned, but at least he’d have Higashi through every step of the way.