Work Text:
Whether the streets were silent or not wasn’t any important matter when it came to hanging out with Hiyori, though Jun still enjoyed remarking their emptiness in times like those.
He’d lost the perception of how long it had been since their last stroll together, let alone one so late at night. After the third time his phone displayed it was past midnight, he began to believe he was somehow partially dreaming to the point he held onto the taller boy’s hand tighter than usual to check if everything was real. Hiyori’s reaction pretty much seemed to put an end to his doubts while confirming his very first thought.
« Ow—! Jun-kun, you’re going to make the blood stop circulating near there! » he jolted out, gaining a sigh in reply as Jun loosened the grip.
« You’re always so overdramatic… affection’s not gonna kill ya so easily »
Hiyori let out what felt like a mock of said sigh. « That was clearly not affection… if anything’s the matter you just have tell me »
« It’s nothin’, really » Jun tried cackling it off, pulling himself together when the other boy pretended to be distracted as their fingers intertwined shakily, his nails partially digging into his skin — which Jun would’ve pointed out if only that wasn’t further proof that it indeed was happening. Hiyori’s hand dragged him around with a gentleness he hadn’t felt in a while, although the silk-like sensation of his skin had never left his mind for a single instant.
« This is so exhausting already…! I want to sit down somewhere » Hiyori whined, almost in tune with Jun’s subsequent displeased noise.
« You’re leadin’ me towards a bench, what more would ya want? A throne? » the sarcastic tone in his complaint significantly faded when his mind focused on where exactly Hiyori was taking him, and he couldn’t help but once more hold his hand tighter, this time by sheer feeling. Hiyori hummed, and it was just as tender as all Jun was being subject to; as tender as when it all first blossomed.
Sitting on the so debated over bench, neither of the two felt like making a fuss on how cold its marble surface was. Jun breathed in once, then twice, and on the third time he realised his breath was more than audible. He should’ve paid enough attention to the silence, after all.
Jun had never rejected quietness, as it always made his thoughts speak louder than usual— and goddamn if he wanted to hear them that clearly at times. From that point of view, it was a hand reaching out to help him clear his mind and one he’d have held onto for dear life. It all depended on the thoughts, though, and when it was Hiyori’s hand drawing him towards his beloved quiet peace it all seemed to turn against him in the hope of voicing the thoughts that inevitably blasted in his ears and break the silence once and for all.
He’d first learnt it in that spot, on a winter evening when everyone seemed to have retired from the streets to spend the few days after Christmas holidays with their loved ones. Hiyori had fled from a similar situation, and Jun happened to be free unlike most of the town. Instead of Hiyori’s soft hands, his gloves’ fabric wrapped around Jun’s as an excuse to warm him up since he’d forgotten them home, and that was when, prompted by the lack of topics to talk about, silence rang in his ears louder than any other time, turning into white noise when Hiyori huddled close to him and making it clear to the blue haired boy that he wasn’t simply helping him avoid the cold.
Silence was what surrounded him as Hiyori brought warmth to his lips, and it had never been easier for Jun to fill it with words shortly after. The way the feelings he had suppressed inside his head for so long slid out of it with such ease was what he truly loved about it, what made the ringing noise worth it in the end. And he could tell Hiyori had been dealing with something similar because of how simply he’d addressed his own feelings as well, instead of exaggerating the situation or overdramatizing it as he was used to.
Despite how noisy he could be, Jun had to admit, Hiyori had the knack for shutting his whole world up within seconds. It would happen every few days, culminating on the day of his graduation when every single Reimei student felt as if they were muted the moment Hiyori struggled to get his second button off his shirt and placed it in a fairly touched Jun’s hand before sharing their last kiss at school, marking the end of a short yet intense period in which they’d always have to hide from the crowd in order to do so.
From the day Hiyori got accepted into his dream college onwards, Jun had started to lose the hang of the sensations silence used to give him. It was hard for him to tell when it exactly began, but having to focus on school as a third year of high school whilst Hiyori had to enter the university student mindset in sight of his first exams prevented the two of them from meeting as often as before.
And Jun missed it more than he’d have ever expected it to. He’d stay up most nights, laying in bed and staring at his ceiling in a wishful attempt to hear his thoughts shouting loudly in his ears, but it was all in vain. He wondered if it had also been the same on Hiyori’s side, but neither had given the impression of someone who’d been making their way through silence during their past few dates prior to that day.
Thus he welcomed the sharp ringing in his ears like a sort of a blessing, one Hiyori had desperately longed to attract upon both, or so it seemed. Before Jun could come to terms with his recent struggle being mutual, the noise was blown away from his ears and replaced by Hiyori’s voice, as serene as the chill breeze that blew against their faces anticipating summer’s return.
« I kind of wish I never graduated » he said, unable to keep a giggle for himself. It wasn’t hard for Jun to tell it was out of nervousness, but not the same awkwardness the two had felt the first time they’d sat there. « It’s such foul weather that you couldn’t be around me for longer… why couldn’t you just confess earlier? »
« Eh?! » Jun failed to keep his tone low as he bursted out, composing himself as he breathed the fresh air in. « Says the one who kissed me ‘cause he couldn’t get to the actual confession, ya sure it hasn’t been you who should’ve confessed earlier? »
« I kissed you because I couldn’t stand having to wait any longer! » Hiyori complained, aware Jun had noticed he was holding a laugh in despite how firmly crucial his expression could have looked to a stranger.
« And what would this add to your point, huh? You basically confessed first »
« I’m not down to argue tonight, gosh! I can compromise it was our fault on both sides, no more! »
Jun chuckled first, amused by how serious he’d made the whole debate sound. Hiyori closely followed, tilting back his head and giving a glance at the night sky and the few stars that were visible due to the artificial lights near the sidewalk. The sea in front of them appeared to be a better sight, though Hiyori would easily deny anything could compare to simply turning to his left and meeting his boyfriend’s gaze instead.
That thought was meant to stay unspoken either way. It would have been too embarrassing for him to get carried away like that.
« Lemme be honest, I think it’s fine as we are right now » Jun then resumed, breaking through Hiyori’s thoughts like the most precise arrow. « It’s part of our growth anyways, I don’t think we wouldn’t have faced any struggles if we were to begin dating earlier, and what about the few weeks you spent home studying for your finals? »
« I could still see you at school! » Hiyori retorted with a bittersweet pout. « It’s not fair at all »
« Damn, you wouldn’t get it even if I explained it to you in another language… » a sigh marked an end to Jun’s words and then dissolved in the air. « I’m sure we will be able to see each other more in the future, this is just temporary, wait for me to graduate as well and we’ll see »
« That’s too far! » following Hiyori’s complaint was a faint gasp of realisation. « Hold on, are you trying to tell me you’d like to try out for my same college? You’d really run lengths to stay next to me, mmh? »
« Look at who’s talking! And have I ever seemed like the guy who’d be into marine biology? Damn it! » at that point, it felt pointless for Jun to support his point any further. His eyes locked on the wave that had just crashed on the rocks not so far away from the seafront, only for them to meet Hiyori’s with a swift turn of his head to his side. « It ain’t a sin to be nostalgic, y’know »
Their violet hue brightened up as if all the stars that had gone unseen until then had gathered around inside his irises, and the thought of his own pair reflecting such brightness made a shiver run down Jun’s spine in awe.
Hiyori had always been the brightest star he could think of; his light had only gone lost as he hadn’t anything for it to shine back. Perhaps Jun’s moon orbited slower than it was meant to. He also would have never said that out loud, nor he thought his inner voice could get so cheesily poetic around him. Hiyori’s warmth was one of a kind.
« I’m not nostalgic, it’s just— » the green haired boy almost choked on air because of how far he was taking his own point in the discussion, hence he could just surrender. « Okay, maybe I am, but you can’t act like you also aren’t! »
« And who the hell said otherwise? » Jun rebuked, his lips arching into a glimpse of a smile. « You shouldn’t let your fucking nostalgia take over the present, that’s all »
Silence cast upon the two once again, though this time Jun’s ears felt empty. Emptier than they’d ever been, as an antonym to all the previous times in which he was even glad the usual noise bursted out of them. The first sight of relief he could catch was the little giggle escaping Hiyori’s lips as if he were admitting his defeat.
« I guess you’re right… » he sighed, the upsetness in his expression turning even more ironic. And just like the wind would’ve swept leaves away, the joking tone in his voice vanished within his next words. « I wished coming here would’ve made me feel the same way as before. I give you the right to call me selfish just this once »
Compared to his lips, Jun’s eyes were the ones that felt the most like smiling. « Ohii-san, in all damn honesty, if we both always felt the same way as the first time I think we’d have held a fair competition on who’d have broken up with the other first »
Hiyori exhaled, as a sign for Jun to end what he’d started.
« I need ya to stop overthinkin’ everything about you and especially about us » he added, and it felt like getting the heaviest weight off his chest. The faint arch on his face turned into a full smile to match the one that had painted Hiyori’s. « I’m not goin’ anywhere, and you ain’t either »
The world around them hushed in the most pleasant way they ever experienced.
Hiyori, though, allowed himself to feel a bit of nostalgia about the noise that would usually pierce his ears; Jun wouldn’t ever have complained about it.
Recalling it the same way as that winter night felt like the most infallible choice.