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He wasn’t short ok? He wasn’t. Being five foot ten was not short, Eggsy constantly reminded himself, because when you worked with very tall Kingsman agents, feeling short had become routine. At least he wasn’t the only one not making the tall list; Roxy was on the receiving end of many short jokes as well. Not that they were bothered by it. At least he wasn’t anymore, now that he realized the gentle ribbing wasn’t out of spite by the older agents. Harry and Merlin were the only agents who hadn’t made a clever quip about his height – yet. He was sure Merlin was holding one back until the perfect moment.
“There used to be a height requirement” Harry had said in response to Eggsy making a joke about working with giants. “We got rid of it almost twenty years ago; before James became Lancelot”.
Harry’s face had dropped into the expressionless calm the Eggsy knew meant he didn’t intend to continue on the subject, so he dropped it. He didn’t give their conversation much thought after that, and had forgotten they had even discussed the subject at all, until now.
With a jump, Eggsy stretches his arm as far as it can go, scraping the side of the sugar jar on the top shelf of the pantry in the break room. Someone just had to put the jar all the way back on the top shelf didn’t they, he thought to himself, before stepping back and jumping again. He manages to only push the jar further into the cupboard.
He is just about to climb onto the countertop when he feels the gentle press of a hand on his lower back.
“Here, let me” says Harry, reaching up with ease to retrieve the jar, “You wanted the sugar, correct?”
Their closeness makes Eggsy forget why he had needed the sugar in the first place; Harry’s hand holding him close, brown eyes sincere.
He’ll admit to having checked Harry out. He had noticed how fit Harry was since day one, and the observation hadn’t left him ever since. Not after V-Day, or after becoming a Kingsman, or after almost a year of stolen glances. It’s not like he was obvious about it. Eggsy wasn’t a spy without reason, and it hurt no one. Well, except maybe Roxy’s ears, who heard every little detail of the schoolgirl crush. But being this close was an overload to his senses. Here he could easily see a stray curl that had escaped Harry’s hair and the crinkles around his eyes when he smiled. He could smell Harry’s cologne, bergamot and cinnamon, mixed with a faint trace of gunpowder from the ranger earlier. It made him weak in the knees.
“Uh – yeah, thanks” Eggsy says as his fingers brush Harry’s when grabs the jar.
Harry steps back first, going to fix his own cup now, while Eggsy quickly dumps a few spoonfuls of sugar into his tea. He wills himself to not think about how he can feel the absence of heat where Harry’s hand had been, convincing himself that if his cheeks are tinged red it’s because he’s been jumping around; not because he’s blushing.
*****
She’s going to be fine, she’s going to wake up soon Eggsy chants in his head as he sits by Roxy’s bedside in the Medical wing of headquarters. This was the first time Roxy was in for more than a few hours, but intense surgery after getting caught in an explosion would do that to you. Every nurse had already come by and told him that he had nothing to worry about, but she would have to wake up on her own. It was down to sitting and waiting.
But that did nothing more than make him feel useless. He stayed though, wanting her to wake up to a familiar face, knowing firsthand how disorienting it was to wake up after surgery. All the available agents had volunteered to take rounds, they could be in this for the long haul.
The steady beeping of the heart monitor was making him restless. He decides to see if the grand tv perched on the wall was useful for more than just business. Kingsman had to have cable, right?
He searches around the room for the remote, walking around and opening cabinets before remembering that Merlin had always controlled the tv with his clipboard. He doesn’t feel like toying around with his glasses to see if could turn it on and decides to just do things the old fashioned way. After tentatively poking at both sides and the bottom of the tv, he concedes any control buttons must be on the top. Which won’t be an easy reach considering the top of the tv is only a few inches from the ceiling.
A medical stool catches his eye as he scans the room for something to boost him up the extra height, and rolls it over to the wall.
He has one foot on the wobbly stool, praying silently that it won’t roll out from under him when he hears the door swing open.
“I sure hope you aren’t trying to put yourself into the bed next to hers” says Harry as he walks in.
“I need to reach the controls somehow”
“So you decided to use a rolling stool instead of your chair” Harry replies, his eyebrows raising in a way that indicates he’s questioning Eggsy’s intelligence.
“Maybe I wanted to see if my gymnastics skills were still up to par”
“Well please don’t, at least not this way. You know I wouldn’t be able to get anything done sitting vigil at your bedside”
“Because Arthur watches over all his knights?” Eggsy jokes.
“Because I care about you Eggsy” Harry says, completely serious. Eggsy feels like he just got stung by a bee. He hadn’t expected Harry to react this way to a joke. It confuses him, but also makes his stomach flutter at the outburst of affection. He would sit at Harry’s bedside every waking moment if he were to ever get injured, he knew this because that’s what he had done during training, but doubted Harry would ever do the same.
The air grew tense as neither of them spoke. Eggsy stood stiffly as Harry sits on the chair next to Roxy’s bed. Harry touches the side of his glasses, sparking the television to life.
“Anything in particular that you would like to watch?” Harry asks, motioning for Eggsy to sit down.
“Haven’t knocked Nikita off the list yet”. Harry smiles at him as he sits down on the spare bed in the room, and they go back to easy conversation. It’s moments like these where hope and doubt enter his heart, where he is completely comfortable with Harry. He is without fear, or pain. All these thoughts leave him though, as the film begins to play. He had never guessed that Kingsman had Netflix.
*****
“Shit!” Eggsy yells, rounding the sharp corner only to run into Roxy’s coffee. Roxy yelps out several explicatives as well; hot coffee splashing on both of them.
It wasn’t hard to mop up the mess on the floor, but their suits wouldn’t be such an easy fix. Roxy’s jacket had taken most of the damage, but Eggsy was stuck with a stained brown shirt.
“I need to go change this” he says, pulling at the shirt which stuck to him now.
Harry was going to give him an earful for this, he thought as he rummaged around his closet. He had advised him to ‘always have a spare’ during training, yet here he is, pulling out every part of a suit except a clean shirt. He’s just going to have to run home and change.
He starts toward the tube that would lead back to the shop and almost makes it without seeing anyone, before turning the last corner. Stopping himself faster than he had done earlier, he avoids literally running into Harry.
“Eggsy, good morn-“ Harry cuts himself off as he eyes Eggsy’s shirt. “What happened?”
“Sharp corners, Roxy, coffee”
“Well, why haven’t you changed?”
“I don’t have a spare here” Eggsy admits, “running home now”.
“Nonsense, you can borrow one of mine” Harry says in a tone that doesn’t allow for arguing.
Eggsy’s stomach flops as they walk further into the mansion, making small talk but Eggsy has no hope of actually concentrating on what is being said. He silently scolds himself for the excitement building up in his chest, over the possibility of wearing Harry’s shirt no less. It’s an act of kindness, he reminds himself, Harry is just being a gentleman. Besides, it’s probably a shirt he keeps in his office for emergencies, one he barely uses himself.
Harry opens the door to his office, quickly moving towards a backroom to fetch the shirt. Eggsy sits at one of the many plush chairs, admiring the enormous bookshelves and artwork that line the walls. Harry walks back in a moment later, holding out an unfolded white shirt.
“Put it on in the back, we can see about the fit after”
Eggsy closes the door to the little room, which he can now see was just a closet. More accurately, a dressing room. Much like the fitting rooms in the shops, only much smaller, there’s an assortment of suits as well as weapons. He isn’t sure what he’d expected to be back here, but this wasn’t a surprise.
He quickly makes his way out of the stained shirt, putting on the one Harry had handed him, only to realize very quickly that this was not just any spare shirt. Even though it had been recently cleaned, the shirt was permanently creased from use, the scent of Harry’s cologne lingering on the collar.
After buttoning it up all the way, it became obvious that the shirt was a touch too big. More specifically, too long and too broad. Eggsy takes in a long breath trying to compose himself as he tucks in the shirt. He looks at himself in the mirror before stepping out, seeming more like a little boy who had ransacked his daddy’s closet rather than a grown ass man who worked at a spy agency.
The sound of him opening the door caused Harry to look up from his phone and give him a once over. His face is neutral, searching as he nodds once. Harry goes over to his desk and pulls out several pins.
“It’s a tad loose, but nothing unmanageable” Harry says, kneeling behind Eggsy and pulling the shirt back.
“You a tailor and a spy?” he joks, to which he only got a scoff in reply, but the mood lightens considerably. At least for Eggsy. Harry seems to have a level head while Eggsy’s pulse races, the light touches of Harry’s hands on his back almost electric.
Harry runs his hands along Eggsy’s back, smooth along his shoulders and down his back, tugging at the material with quick jerks. Eggsy can feel Harry’s warm hands through the thin material. “The shoulders hang, but if I pin it here-“ he fastens a pin, “and here-“ he fastens another, “and you put on your coat, no one should notice the shirt’s mine”.
Harry stood back up and moved to face him; looking him up and down, giving an appraising look. Eggsy felt the tips of his ears go red, feeling absolutely ridiculous that the notion of wearing Harry’s shirt would have this effect on him. Trying to hide the heat spreading to his cheeks, he turned to put his jacket back on.
“I’ll leave you now, thanks for the shirt” Eggsy says, already opening the door to leave as Harry sits at his desk, pulling out a stack of paperwork.
“Eggsy?” Harry calls out to him, “Always keep a spare”. Eggsy turns and nods once before shutting the door behind him.
He takes a few steps down the hall before stopping to lean against the wall, bracing himself for a few moments, needing to calm down his racing thoughts. Oh he has a problem. A major problem. More than the wanting to jump your boss’s bones problem, no this was the type of problem that gives him jitters at catching a trail of said boss’s cologne on the collar of the shirt he was currently wearing. This was the type of problem that makes him think these emotions weren’t based in lust anymore. No, this was a whole other L-word.
Eggsy hits the back of his head against the wall with a soft thump. He’s fucked.
*****
Being able to blend in with the crowd is a great ability as a spy, but it makes staying together with people absolutely impossible when you can’t see over anyone’s head.
Eggsy stops amongst the crowd after losing view of Harry for the third time that hour. Standing on the tip of his toes, he strains his neck to try and get a view of his fellow agent, but the crowd moves like a beehive buzzing with excited chatter.
It’s the last December night of the year; the crowd packs in tight to watch the ball drop in Times Square. Under any other circumstance, he would’ve been overjoyed at being here with Harry, but with a bomb threat made not two days earlier, none of them were celebrating the holidays. At least he gets to be in New York for New Year’s Eve, he thought trying to find the silver lining.
There were six of them here tonight, in pairs of two. Bors and Kay were on rooftops, getting a bird’s eye view for anything out of the ordinary. Roxy and Percival were checking the north side of the square, while he and Harry search through the south. But working in pairs doesn’t really work when you keep losing your partner.
“Harry, I lost you again” he says into the coms, a tired sigh from Harry the only response he gets.
He turns his head to the right, to see Harry weaving his way through the crowd towards him.
“Hold my hand” Harry says, plain as day, not noticing how it makes Eggsy’s stomach drop.
“I don’t think now is the time to be puttin’ on the moves” he says, a smirk forming.
Completely unimpressed, Harry takes his hand anyway, “So you don’t lose me again”
Harry maneuvers them through the crowd silently, Eggsy thankful he had the forethought to wear gloves. Can’t hide your feelings from a person who can feel your pulse now can you?
“The couple aspect really helps you too blend in too” quips Roxy across the coms, “it is New York after all”. Eggsy can’t see her, and her voice gives away nothing, but he curses the day he opened up to her. The gentle ribbing had quickly turned into flat-out bullying after he had confessed how he really felt about Harry. Not that he minded, it would be a cold day in Hell before he let her forget how she felt about Merlin.
“Planning on giving me a midnight kiss then Harry?” he says. Harry only gives him a small smile in return.
I’ve located the bomb, twenty meters to your left Lancelot. Silence on the coms until further notice Merlin directs.
Harry keeps his grip on Eggsy’s hand as he moves them towards the sidewalk. They stroll along leisurely until they reached an inconspicuous place to stop and wait.
“How long until midnight?” Harry asks.
“Why? Planning to steal that kiss?” says Eggsy, wiggling his eyebrows.
Harry’s face shifts for a moment, making his stomach drop. What if this time he had taken the joke too far? Or worse, what if Harry could see through his act, and it all finally clicked in that moment that Eggsy cared about him way more than just a mentor?
He’s expecting Harry to drop his hand, but instead with a sharp tug, Harry pulls him into a warm embrace. Harry is a burning contrast to the ice cold breeze, warming him up considerably. Heat spreads through his limbs as Harry bends slightly, lips resting against his ear.
“A gentleman never ‘steals’ a kiss. All sentiments must always be freely given” Harry whispers, before pulling back slightly to look directly in Eggsy’s eyes. His eyes are questioning and soft, almost bordering on insecure, when Merlin speaks again.
The bomb has been disabled. Good job Lancelot and Percival. Everyone move to their extraction points, it will be a happy new year after all.
With that the moment shatters. Harry pulls away completely, letting go of Eggsy’s hand, expression all business, as if this was just another Tuesday. As if nothing had just almost happened. For the first time, Eggsy regrets that a mission ended so quickly.
*****
They never intended to have a post mission ritual, but with both of Harry and him being active agents, they were scarce on time to spend with each other. That just wouldn’t do. The hours after a mission was completed were the only ones they got to be free. So they started having movie nights. Both of them getting slightly buzzed and watching another film on their list. The list had started out as classics Harry thought Eggsy needed to watch, but Eggsy had been quick to add more contemporary films he felt compelled to share with Harry.
Eggsy sprawls himself out on the couch as he searches through Netflix, flipping through the screens with the remote, trying to decide if they should watch something old or new that night.
“Should we watch A Streetcar Named Desire?” Harry calls out from the kitchen, waiting on the popcorn.
“Nah, I was thinking of scratching Mulan off the list. How have you never seen Mulan?”
“I’ve never had a reason to until now, but besides, it’s my turn to choose the film”.
“No it ain’t”
Eggsy hears Harry’s footsteps approach him and stop right behind the couch. “The concussion you received last week must have impaired your memory because I clearly remember you choosing the film”.
Eggsy stands up and faces Harry from across the couch. Harry looks at him with a slight grin, eyebrows raised slightly, a glint of mischief in his eyes.
“The only memory we should be checkin’ is yours, old man. You know your memory starts to fail you as you get older”
“I’ll have you know that a has affected not one part of my mind,” Harry says, walking around the couch. “Or body” Eggsy hardly has time to take in his words, as Harry reaches out in a snap and snatches away the remote.
“That’s no fair bruv!”
“If you can get the remote back, you can choose whatever film you like” Harry says, holding out the remote with one hand.
Eggsy lunges towards it, reaching out and leaning towards Harry, who easily switches the remote from one hand to the other behind his back. Eggsy reaches for the remote again, only this time Harry extends his hand straight up towards the ceiling, much like a playground bully would keep a ball away from a shorter child.
Eggsy jumps for it anyway, caught up in the game, but knows he’s at a clear disadvantage. A deep laugh from Harry breaks his focus, not because it was one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard, but because he can feel it.
It is then that he realizes how close they have gotten. Chest to chest with legs almost tangled, he’s hyperaware of their proximity. He stills, one hand hovering in the air, bringing it down slowly when it becomes obvious to Harry that they are a breath away. All it would take to kiss Harry would be to stand on the tip of his toes, he thought. It’s then that Harry meet his gaze. A silence takes over the house, the sound of their breaths siren loud. Eggsy stands cemented in place like a statue, not being able to move away, though he knows he woudn’t want to move if he could.
“Your reflexes are getting faster. I reckon one day you’ll know what I’m doing before it happens” Harry says, as he moves his hand down, a grin lighting up his face. “You should get to choose the film. After all the mission was a success today”.
They end up sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching Harry’s choice anyway, but Eggsy can’t help but wonder if his mission was the only successful one that night.
*****
Eggsy knew he gave Merlin mini heart attacks every time he was out in the field. Merlin worried way too much in his opinion, but he also knew his flagrant disregard for protocol didn’t help. What he hadn’t suspected was that he wasn’t the first one to make Merlin glad he didn’t have hair to rip out. Harry was much worse. Eggsy is sure Harry would be the death of him by saying a shitty pun at the wrong time or breaking his heart, either would kill him. For a spy, Harry was as subtle as a bomb. Which was exactly the reason why they were in this situation.
“You couldn’t have kept that comment to yourself? You just had to tell the lady off?” Eggsy shouts at Harry as they run down the hotel’s stairs, a mission just having gone tits up. It was just a recon mission. They weren’t supposed to be getting shot at, during a fucking recon mission.
“She had no right to call you a-“
“What else did you expect from a Christian hate group? A warm welcome when she found out we weren’t posing as father and son?” Eggsy yells back incredulously. He gets no response as he runs into the side alley behind Harry, knowing they only have a few seconds before more of the group shows up.
“Which way Merlin?” Harry asks, weighing their options.
Down the alley and to your left, pass two buildings and take a right. Lancelot is already at the extraction point
They take off running, motivated only to move faster at the sound of the alley door opening and footsteps moving their way. They sprint past the buildings and turn their last corner. Eggsy for once thankful that Merlin had pushed him on the treadmill for so long.
He sees a familiar looking cab at the end of the street when a bullet hits his shoulder. He stumbles but doesn’t fall, and takes out his pistol to start firing back. Harry is a few paces behind him doing the same thing. They both shoot somewhat blindly, running and shooting over their shoulders as Roxy opens fire from the driver’s window of the cab, giving them some cover.
Eggsy shoot one last round before running into the street. He turns over his shoulder to call to Harry when another bullet hits his suit, this time near his knee. He raises his gun towards the street shooter, only for it to click, dread filling him as he remembers he doesn’t any ammunition on him. He straightens and turns to warn Harry in earnest, voice halfway calling out when his suit decides to fail him. A bullet catches at the seam of the suit, where it’s weakest and rips through the top of his shoulder.
Eggsy lets out a wounded groan before leaning over and clutching his shoulder causing Harry to turn, face too calm for their situation. With an inappropriate amount of grace, Harry sidesteps between the street shooter and Eggsy; three shots ringing out. It’s eerily quiet as the chorus of pops and bangs stills to that of a night in Arkansas.
Harry doesn’t let him revel in the silence though, hoisting him up quickly and all but throwing him in the cab before stepping in himself. Roxy drives quickly for a few minutes before Harry breaks the silence.
“Are you hurt?” he asks.
“Wanker just grazed my shoulder, nothin’ major”.
The rest of the drive is spent in silence. The half hour drive back to the plane calms their nerves and bring their heartbeats down to a resting pace.
It isn’t until they are at a cruising altitude, with Roxy at the controls that Eggsy decides it’s time to take a look at his shoulder. He hisses sharply when taking off his jacket, the dull throb sparking up again. Harry looks up when he sees his shirt, now stained a deep red, and his face pulls tight.
“Take off your shirt too, we’ll need to clean that up”
“I can take care of this myself, you can rest you know” Eggsy replies, not really in a mood to joke around.
“I’m not questioning your abilities Eggsy” Harry says as he soaks a cotton ball with antiseptic, “it’s just that you don’t have to do this yourself”.
Eggsy wills himself to stay still as Harry cleans the graze, fingers dancing over his skin with a gentleness that shouldn’t be possible for the hands of a trained killer.
He stares blankly ahead, eyes roaming across Harry’s suit when he spots a metallic glint embedded on one of the lapels of Harry’s coat. With his idle hand, he picks out a flattened bullet.
“When you’d get this one?” he asks while absentmindedly twiddling the metal between his fingers.
“Right before we got into the cab, I believe” Harry says, tone almost flat.
Eggsy tenses, “You mean from the guy that gave me this?” he says pointing at his shoulder. “How? I heard you take three shots”
“He got a shot in before I made mine.”
A pit of dread forms in Eggsy’s stomach with the implication of Harry’s words. He had gotten shot, after stepping between Eggsy and the street shooter. Even though Harry wasn’t hurt in any way because the suit had caught the bullet, guilt still rose up in him.
“You got shot because of me!”
“Oh, don’t be dramatic, that’s what the suit is made for” Harry keeps cleaning out the graze, voice calm.
“Harry, you can’t just be putting yourself in danger because of me!” this causes Harry to look up.
“And why not? Eggsy, you must know that I will do everything in my power to protect you”
“But why?” Eggsy says, finding himself raising his voice, even though he never intended to.
“Does this come as a surprise to you?” Harry furrows his brows in confusion, like Eggsy should have known this by now.
“Because even though I know you are reckless, I would have thought that you would have some sort of limit – “
“Not when it comes to you” Harry says firmly, meeting Eggys’s eyes, “I don’t have limits when it comes to you”.
Eggsy opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, eyes blinking steadily trying to process what Harry had just said. But Harry gives him no time before continuing to speak.
“I thought I was being rather bold with showing you how I felt” he says, taking the shriveled bullet from Eggsy, replacing it with his hand. Harry looks him in the eye when he says, “Eggsy, I love you.”
Harry’s words hit him like a bucket of ice water; leaving him breathless and shocked.
“I understand that my feelings are completely unprofessional, and that springing this on you might even make you uncomfortable, so I will never speak of this again if you wish, but please do not alienate yours-“
Eggsy shakes off the surprise, joy swelling his heart as he grabs Harry by the lapels and pulls him in for a kiss. It’s rough and a little desperate but when Harry cups his face to deepen the kiss, Eggsy’s glad they’re both sitting down, because his knees would have failed him.
Pressing their foreheads together as they catch their breaths, Eggsy huffs out a laugh. “I’ve been wantin’ to do that that since New Year’s Eve”
“Well don’t let me stop you now” Harry says, tilting in for another kiss. It’s softer this time, gentle and adoring. The knowledge that this isn’t a fleeting moment allowing them to take their time and pour every emotion they’ve wanted to say for months into this kiss.
“I don’t know if this made it sufficiently clear, but I love you too” Eggsy says between kisses.
“I was hoping that’s what it meant”
There don’t exchange many words on the plane ride after that; occasionally a lovesick sigh, or a name said like a reverent prayer. They make it home safe, but decide against watching a film after Eggsy suggests a more preferable way of celebrating a completed mission.