Chapter Text
Pain.
Dimitri pressed a hand to his forehead, desperate to soothe the pain even for a moment. His headaches were relentless, an almost constant companion ever since Duscur, but tonight the throbbing pain was particularly bad. At least now that he was alone, Dimitri no longer had to worry about hiding his pain. As always, he’d volunteered to take first watch, welcoming the cold solitude of night. The end of his watch had long since passed, but it wasn’t as though Dimitri would be getting any sleep tonight. Not with this pain. He might as well let his friends rest, even though it would certainly lead to lectures in the morning.
At least this tedious mission would finally be over tomorrow. When Seteth had announced the class assignments for the month, Dimitri was disappointed to find the Blue Lions relegated to an escort mission. While the Black Eagles and Professor Jeritza were off hunting down the remnants of that dastardly bandit group, the Blue Lions had instead been assigned to accompany a group of nuns to Lake Teutates for a religious ceremony. The mission had been easy enough. The nuns were surprisingly self-sufficient, setting up their own tents and preparing their own meals. And as the ceremony required a vow of silence, the women had kept to themselves, never raising complaints or making needless demands. The mission’s only real difficulty had been keeping Sylvain from sniffing around the nuns’ camp.
Dimitri supposed that he should be grateful to receive an assignment that kept his classmates out of danger, but all he felt was frustration. Though he tried to deny it, at least some of that irritation came from his violent impulses – his desire to rip apart those bandits that had caused so much suffering to the innocent. But even more than that, it was the time away from the monastery that bothered him. The Black Eagles’ mission would take only a few days at best, while the Blue Lions had wasted over two weeks on traveling for their assignment.
Dimitri had only been at the academy for a month, and between this mission and that disastrous camping trip, he’d barely spent a week at the monastery. He had come to Garreg Mach for one reason and one reason alone, but how was he meant to research, to find answers, to achieve his revenge, if he was always off wasting his time on some pointless mission?
Dimitri breathed out slowly, trying to calm his swirling thoughts. His anger certainly wasn’t helping with the headache. Tilting his head back, he looked up at the stars. The mission wasn’t all bad, of course. Dimitri had barely been allowed to leave Castle Blaiddyd since Duscur and the Western Rebellion, his only reprieve an occasional visit from Rodrigue. It was nice to finally escape his uncle’s control, to breathe fresh air and speak to his friends, to sit by a campfire and view the stars. Not having to worry which of the servants or guards or nobles were in his uncle’s pay, always watching and whispering and waiting for the right moment to strike.
Dimitri jumped as a figure materialized at his side. His thoughts were in a frenzy – perhaps his uncle’s reach went farther than he’d assumed – and his lance was in hand before he finally realized the intruder was one of the nuns. Heart racing, he dropped the weapon and forced a polite smile onto his face. An apology rested on the tip of his tongue, but Dimitri pushed it back. He’d already been on the verge of attacking a nun, he didn’t need to add to his sins by offending her with speech.
Still, he was confused by her approach, not to mention unnerved by how silently she moved – what if she had been an assassin? The nuns had kept to themselves for the entire journey, cloistered away in their own group separate from the Lions. Dimitri frowned. Surely something terrible must have occurred to drive her to his side, but how could he find out without asking her? Though it was dreadfully rude, he turned to look at her face more closely, hoping to find some clue to her behaviour in her expression.
He found the nun already staring back at him, her disconcertingly intense gaze the first thing to draw his attention. Instead of fear or distress, her face was completely blank, devoid of any emotion. It was unsettling, and Dimitri couldn’t help but shudder. Unbidden, his mind filled with tales from his childhood – tales from the north, older even than the church – of demons that took the form of beautiful young women to steal away the souls of unsuspecting men.
And beautiful she was. The most beautiful woman Dimitri had ever met, even dressed in the modest robes of a nun. The dying embers illuminated her lovely face as she knelt beside him. She almost looked like a porcelain doll, her delicate features so perfectly crafted as to hardly seem natural. Her lips were pink and full, her skin unmarred by flaws. A few dark strands of hair escaped her coif, curling gently against her cheeks and forehead in a way that seemed charming rather than careless. But her eyes – her eyes were large and dark, the colour of a stormy sky and framed by long, thick lashes – and utterly, painfully captivating.
If she truly was a demon here to drag him down into the eternal flames…then Dimitri couldn’t find himself regretting such a fate.
As something warm brushed against his cheek, Dimitri was finally able to break away from her gaze, jerking backward at the unexpected touch. The nun continued to stare at him, her blank expression unchanged even as her hand lingered in the space where he’d just been. She blinked slowly, then reached forward once more, unfazed by his first rejection. This time Dimitri forced himself to stay still, much as he hated being touched by a stranger. Odd as her behaviour was, it wouldn’t do to offend one of the church’s nuns.
Knowing what touched him this time, the sensation wasn’t as unpleasant as Dimitri feared. She rested her hand – small, gloved, and warm – against his cheek at first, but quickly slid it up to press on his temple instead. Though her sudden appearance had distracted him from his headache, it’s throbbing pain returned in full force at the reminder of her touch. The nun tilted her head, giving an impression of thoughtfulness despite her blank face. She hummed, the soft sound catching Dimitri’s attention. It was the first noise he’d heard her make, and was just as appealing as the rest of her. But before he could dwell on that thought, a sudden searing heat burst against his temple. It was painful, enough so that Dimitri almost pulled away again. Just as quickly though, the heat faded into pleasant warmth, the throbbing waves of pain in his head gently ebbing away.
Faith magic. He made the connection slowly, thoughts sluggish as he savoured the bliss of healing. Others had tried to treat his headaches with faith magic when he first returned from Duscur, but it never worked. Dimitri had long since given up on the option, choosing to suffer in silence instead. He deserved the pain after all. He’d never felt such powerful faith magic as this though, intimidating in its strength yet somehow infused with such warmth and kindness.
A second hand joined the first, pushing against his other temple with a new flare of strength. Dimitri pressed against it eagerly, all thoughts of propriety long gone. Distantly, he thought he might have heard a sound from the nun, an amused huff perhaps, but all he could focus on was the feeling of pain draining away. To his amazement, even the dull ache that lingered on his best days faded. For the first time in years, his head felt empty, free from pain and hissing voices.
Even without the pleasure of faith magic, the nun’s hands still felt wonderful pressed against his face. An embarrassing whine escaped Dimitri’s lips as she finally pulled away, eyes drifting open to watch as she neatly settled her hands in her lap.
“How did you know – ” Dimitri cut himself off abruptly. Despite his curiosity – his awe – she wasn’t allowed to respond, and he would hate to make her uncomfortable in exchange for her kindness. Blushing faintly, he looked away from her intense gaze.
“You kept clutching your head.” Dimitri jumped at the quiet words, his eyes snapping back to the nun. She regarded him calmly, no shame in her expression as she broke her vow of silence. “I was watching you for a while. It looked bad.”
Dimitri gaped, unsure how to respond. She’d been watching him for a while and he hadn’t noticed? His lack of awareness was deplorable – who knows what could have happened to the camp if she’d been a bandit. But even more than that, he was stunned to hear her speak.
“…Thank you for your aid,” Dimitri finally replied, though he expected no response. Perhaps the nun had just felt obliged to answer his half-asked question. Lovely as her voice was, he could only hope that she wouldn’t be punished for his stupidity.
The nun continued to stare at him. “You don’t sleep very much.”
“I – what?” Dimitri blinked as she spoke again, his confusion only growing. He shifted uncomfortably, choosing to focus on her unexpected talkativeness rather than how she knew about his bad habits. “Is it…all right for us to speak? Perhaps I misunderstood, but I thought that you took a vow of silence for this journey?”
She hummed again, the sweet sound making Dimitri’s breath catch. She truly was beautiful in the moonlight, head tilting back as she thought. Her dark strands of hair looked so soft against her cheeks, a pleasing contrast to her skin, and Dimitri’s mind drifted off to thoughts of how she would look with her hair unbound and free…
Face burning red, Dimitri hurriedly averted his gaze. Disgusting. After all the times he’d scolded Sylvain for making inappropriate comments about the nuns, now he had the audacity to imagine one a seductive demon and look upon her…sinfully, when the poor woman had only approached him out of a desire to help. A disgusting boar indeed.
“The goddess doesn’t care about that vow.”
Dimitri looked back at the sound of her voice, praying that it was dark enough to hide his blush. Her blank gaze, once more firmly settled on his face, gave no indication that she noticed anything amiss.
“I…see,” he replied slowly, though her statement only raised more questions. The goddess didn’t care about the vow? Then what was the point? And how could this nun be so confident about the goddess’s opinion? Dimitri kept his confusion to himself. He was hardly an expert on religion after all – surely a nun would understand the whims of the goddess better than him, and their encounter had already been strange enough without adding a religious debate.
“You always volunteer for first watch,” the nun stated. It took Dimitri a moment to catch up, confused by the sudden return to her earlier words. “You’re up before everyone else in the morning. And you wander around camp at night even when you aren’t on watch.” She placed a hand beneath her chin, curling it into a delicate fist as she considered him. “You should sleep more. It’ll help with your headaches.”
“I…” Dimitri could only stare at the nun, lost for words. Just how long had she been watching him? And he hadn’t noticed once?
Who was this woman?
Fidgeting beneath her intense gaze, Dimitri looked down at his lap and played with the edge of his cape. Clearly he would have to work on his observation skills – Dedue would never let him out of sight again if he found out about this – but for now he had to find a way to end this conversation delicately.
Forcing a princely smile, Dimitri turned back to the nun. She hadn’t moved a muscle, large eyes still fixed on his face. It should be simple. He just needed to politely thank her for her concern, agree with her assessment, and retire to his tent. It wasn’t a pleasant prospect – even with his headache healed, Dimitri doubted that the nightmares would allow him much sleep. He would much prefer to stay out here in the fresh air, but he didn’t have a choice.
And yet…
As he stared at the nun, the words wouldn’t come. Dimitri wasn’t sure why. Perhaps the sleep deprivation had finally caught up to him. Or maybe it was the memory of her warm hands on his face, the powerful kindness he’d felt in her magic, the fact that she’d approached him and broken her vow out of compassion for a stranger…
“I fear that sleep often proves impossible for me.” The words were out before Dimitri could stop them, before he could even think them through. “I have struggled to sleep for years, ever since my father – ever since my father died.” Dimitri cringed. Bringing up his wretched past to a woman he’d just met? What was wrong with him?
Clenching his fists, Dimitri cursed his boorish awkwardness. Mentioning his father’s death wasn’t helping either, the memory suddenly clawing at his mind. He needed to leave, to escape, to be alone with his spiralling thoughts –
A warm sensation on his hand broke Dimitri free. To his surprise, the nun’s small hand rested atop his, warm and kind despite her still blank expression. Dimitri’s breathing evened, heartbeat calming as the physical connection grounded him. Slowly, he unclenched his fist, allowing the nun to twine her fingers with his. It was nice. Too nice. Dimitri distantly wondered whether holding a nun’s hand was allowed. He was quite certain that enjoying her touch this much had to break some rule.
“The headaches often prevent me from sleeping. But even when they abate, I…dread sleeping regardless. The nightmares…” Dimitri closed his eyes, trying to block out the memories. The nun squeezed his hand, the firm but gentle pressure more reassuring that he ever could have imagined. Now that he’d begun his confession, Dimitri found it difficult to stop. “I dream of my father, screaming for revenge. Of my stepmother, surrounded by flames. Of my best friend, butchered as he tries to protect me…”
Dimitri clutched the nun’s hand as if his life depended on it, blinking aware tears as he stared up at the stars. He wasn’t in Duscur. He was in Magdred. He was safe.
“Honestly…I would rather be out here beneath the night sky than trapped in my tent even if sleep did not allude me. After that day, my uncle forbid me from leaving the castle other than on rare occasions. He claims it is to keep me safe, but…” Much as Dimitri wished that his uncle truly did have good intentions, he knew that his forced confinement was a grab for power. A way for Rufus to control him and his interactions with the people, to keep Dimitri from undermining his reign.
The nun hummed softly, drawing back Dimitri’s attention. Embarrassment washed over him as he realized just how long he’d been rambling, his death grip on her hand preventing the poor woman’s escape.
“My apologies. I have taken up enough of your time with my meaningless rambles. I shall leave you in peace.”
Dimitri moved to stand, but the nun’s hand tightened around his own. Surprised, he met her gaze. Although her expression remained flat, her eyes…her eyes had lost their earlier indifference, now tinged with sadness. Dimitri could hardly breathe at the sight.
“I understand…” Her voice was low, but did not waver. It was hard to discern what she felt from her tone, but the emotion in her eyes didn’t lie. “I used to go camping with my father as a kid. Nuns aren’t allowed to leave the monastery very often though. I volunteer for duties like this whenever I can, but…” She sighed, looking up at the sky. Her words were slow and stilted, quite unlike the brisk, straightforward way that she’d spoken earlier. “It doesn’t make sense. I can see the stars from Garreg Mach just as well, but out here it feels…different.”
Dimitri nodded at her words, shocked to hear her express emotions that resonated so strongly with his own. “Yes…it does.”
Silence fell between them. But to his surprise, Dimitri found himself relaxing, content to appreciate the stars with this mysterious nun at his side. He really should appreciate this freedom more, rather than mope over the delay to his investigations. It was a rare blessing, one that he would likely never have again once he returned to Fhirdiad. Whether he became king or remained his uncle’s pawn, freedom was a luxury he would soon have to forgo.
And the nun…despite his earlier impatience, Dimitri found himself wishing that this mission could extend longer, if only for her sake. She looked serene in the moonlight, and yet he couldn’t forget the sadness – the longing – in her eyes. He barely knew her, but his heart bled for her suffering.
“Could you – ” Dimitri hesitated. He was struck by the inappropriateness of his question, but as the nun turned her sad gaze back on him, he realized that he needed to know. “If you are unhappy in your position, could you not…renounce your vows?”
The silence dragged on for uncomfortably long, but the nun didn’t seem offended. She placed a fist to her chin again – a habit while thinking, perhaps? – looking adorable in her contemplation.
“I do not hate being a nun,” she eventually replied. “But even if I did, there is a duty that only I can fulfil. I can’t leave.”
Not for the first time, Dimitri wondered just who this woman was, to have troubles that mirrored his own so well. Duties that crushed you, that couldn’t be escaped…he understood that pressure all too well. She might not hate being a nun, but the sadness in her eyes showed that she did not love it either. He understood that feeling too.
“Is there nothing I could do to help?” Dimitri blurted out. He blushed as the nun looked at him blankly. “You have shown me such kindness…I would like to return the favour. Perhaps I could…speak to Lady Rhea? Ask her to allow you more freedom? Please, if you have any request, you need only ask. I shall do everything in my power to fulfil it.”
The nun’s eyes widened in reply, the most expressive he had seen her. Dimitri began to feel foolish. He probably sounded like such an arrogant braggart, offering to throw around his title without asking what the nun thought first. And he might be the prince of the Holy Kingdom, but that didn’t mean his requests would have any real weight with the archbishop. His demand would probably just get her into trouble. For what felt like the hundredth time that night, Dimitri prepared to apologize for overstepping.
Then the nun smiled.
It was small but genuine, and lit up her dark eyes beautifully. Dimitri could hardly breathe at the sight, his heart pounding painfully as the image seared into his mind. He had thought her lovely before, but this – surely nothing could ever compare. He would do anything to see her smile again. Anything.
Dimitri was so entranced that he barely noticed as the nun placed her free hand upon his face, thumb gently tracing the dark shadows beneath his eye. “Get some sleep.”
“W-what?” It was Dimitri’s turn to stare, his mind too distracted by her beauty to process the words.
The nun huffed, an amused sound that sent his heart fluttering anew. “My request. I want you to get some sleep.”
“O-oh.” Dimitri couldn’t even begin to understand the emotions flooding through him. The dizzying joy, the warmth in his chest, his fascination with this woman who was strange and kind and beautiful. He had thought her a demon, here to steal his soul, but he was so very wrong. No, this woman was surely the goddess, stepped down from the heavens to bless him with her radiance.
Who was he to defy her command?
“As you wish, my lady,” Dimitri murmured, finally allowing her hand to slip from his. He stood regretfully, bowing to the nun in farewell. She remained seated, but her intense gaze followed him as he left, sending shivers up his spine. Though he would have liked to stay by her side longer, Dimitri didn’t know what might happen if he remained in her intoxicating presence. He’d already pushed the bounds of propriety enough for one night.
And besides, she had ordered him to sleep. He would hate to disappoint her.
There was a spring to his step as Dimitri woke Ashe for the next watch. He felt an irrational pang of jealousy for a moment, irritated by the thought that Ashe might also speak with the nun. But as he returned to his own tent, Dimitri saw that she had vanished from her place by the fire, disappearing as silently as she’d first appeared. Perhaps he truly had been visited by the goddess…
Back in his tent, Dimitri was amazed to find himself drifting off with ease. Speaking of his troubles, painful as it had been, seemed to have lifted a weight from his shoulders. And knowing that someone else suffered the same provided a strange sense of comfort. For once, he looked forward to sleep – visions of the nun lingering in his mind’s eye promised that his dreams might finally be sweet, for one night at least. But as sleep began to overtake him, Dimitri finally realized his mistake. He’d never asked the nun for her name. It was regrettable, but easily fixed. He would just have to ask her in the morning…
For the first time in years, Dimitri slept in late the next morning. By the time Dedue reluctantly woke him, most of the camp had already eaten and were in the process of breaking down their tents. Dimitri hurried to join them, embarrassed by oversleeping. But as he finished packing and readied his horse, his thoughts kept drifting back to the nun. In the bright light of morning, their strange encounter felt like a dream. Only his deep sleep and lack of headache proved her to be real.
Dimitri glanced over at the nuns’ camp as often as he dared, but he could hardly approach them. Despite her words the night before, he doubted that the nun would be as willing to break her vow of silence in front of others, and it would be inappropriate for him to approach the group of women regardless. Suppressing a sigh, Dimitri realized that he would have to wait until they reached Garreg Mach before he could seek her out again.
“See something you like?”
Dimitri hurriedly looked away from the nuns as Sylvain rode up to him, pretending to inspect the straps on his horse’s saddle. His friend was smiling, an insufferable expression that filled Dimitri with dread. He couldn’t afford to panic though – he needed to handle this situation with calm composure, or else risk Sylvain’s teasing for all eternity.
“Yes, the flowers are quite beautiful here,” Dimitri replied evenly. He forced his expression to remain neutral as he climbed atop his own horse. “It is remarkable how early they blossom in the south. It hardly feels as though we are still in Faerghus.”
Sylvain barked out a laugh, his smile only growing more sly. “Heh. Yeah, the flowers around here sure are beautiful. Especially the ones over by the nuns. That you keep staring at.”
Dimitri ducked his head, trying to hide his blush. Curses. He thought he’d been subtle in his glances, but clearly his subtlety was as poor as his observation skills these days.
“Yes, well…My apologies, Sylvain, but I do not have time to speak at the moment. Professor Hanneman requested that I meet with him before our departure.”
“You know, when I told you to get a girlfriend, I meant a student or a barmaid or something, not a nun,” Sylvain continued, ignoring Dimitri’s words. “I never thought you’d be the type to have such scandalous taste, Your Highness. Gotta say, I’m impressed.” He began circling Dimitri like prey. “Hmm…you didn’t show much interest in them before, so something must have happened last night. And Ashe did say you were really late waking him up…”
“I can see the professor looking for me!” Dimitri blurted out. Face now thoroughly red, he kicked his horse into motion. Sometimes he forgot just how intelligent Sylvain was – always a dangerous mistake. If only he could apply that quick thinking to his studies rather than gossip. Goddess, he was never going to live this down.
Sylvain’s laughter followed his retreat. “Hey, just remember you can come to me for advice any time, Your Highness!”
Dimitri scowled. Sylvain had it all wrong, of course. Yes, the nun was beautiful. Incredibly so. And wonderfully kind. And charming. And very pretty…Dimitri shook his head, trying to dispel the image of how lovely she’d looked in the moonlight. Yes, she was beautiful, but that had nothing to do with why he wished to speak with her again. Dimitri simply wanted to thank her properly for her aid. Despite her insistence that him sleeping was the only favour she required, his sense of honour could hardly accept that. It was only proper that he seek her out. Sylvain’s implications were utterly baseless.
As the party finally set out, Dimitri kept himself glued to Professor Hanneman’s side. It meant pretending to have a far greater interest in theoretical crests than he actually possessed, but Dimitri was willing to suffer through anything to keep Sylvain at bay. Unfortunately, riding beside the professor put him directly in front of the nuns’ wagon, and despite his best efforts, Dimitri couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder more often than was strictly necessary. Thankfully Hanneman noticed nothing amiss, though Dimitri did catch Sylvain smirking at him more than once.
As the group neared Garreg Mach, Dimitri’s excitement began to grow. In the chaos of arrival, there would certainly be an opportunity to approach the nuns. Though it would likely be impossible to avoid Sylvain’s gaze, Dimitri found the prospect of his teasing to be a worthy trade for learning his nun’s name.
But Dimitri’s hopes were swiftly crushed. Professor Hanneman hurried him off to Seteth’s office for a mission report the moment they arrived, and by the time he managed to escape, the nuns had already left, hidden away for the ceremony’s final rite. Refusing to give up, he spent the next few days wandering the monastery grounds whenever possible and spending far more time in the cathedral than normal. Dimitri even tried questioning some of the knights and clergy, but it was difficult to get answers without knowing her name.
Despite his repeated failures, Dimitri remained determined to see the nun again. But barely a week after their return, his search came to an abrupt halt.
His uncle was attempting a coup.
The following weeks passed in a blur. The rush back to Fhirdiad. The battle in the city. Executing his uncle. The coronation.
By the time everything settled, a month had passed and Lady Rhea had decreed that the academy be closed for the rest of the year. Apparently the empire and alliance had faced similar trials, and the young leaders of each nation no longer had time for a relaxing year of school.
Dimitri regretted the loss. His time at Garreg Mach was likely to be the last freedom he would ever truly taste, but now he had been thrust into his role as king far earlier than he’d expected. Not to mention, he’d failed to find anything of note related to the Tragedy of Duscur during his brief stay at the monastery. He’d received some answers from his uncle and Cornelia – dreadful answers, that made the voices scream in time with his throbbing headaches – but something was still missing, something that he might have discovered if he’d spent less time wandering the monastery in search of a woman.
Not that Dimitri blamed her for his failings though. No, the memory of the nun remained a balm for his tormented mind, the thought of their conversation providing comfort in his darkest moments. Even as time passed, as months turned to years, Dimitri could never quite forget the sight of her smiling in the moonlight, or the feeling of her warm hand in his. A few months after the coup, he’d worked up the courage to write a letter to Lady Rhea asking after her. But without a name, he’d been forced to use physical descriptions. Upon rereading his embarrassingly detailed praise of her beauty, he’d promptly burned the letter and finally accepted the reality that his interest in her wasn’t exactly platonic.
But it wasn’t just her beauty that kept him so enraptured – though that certainly did feature in the occasional dream, much to his shame. No, there was so much more. Her compassion and selflessness, the way she’d listened to his woes and comforted him. The endless kindness in her magic, despite her strange demeanour. The lonely look in her eyes that resonated so deeply within him, and her resignation to living a life of duty. The way she understood.
Despite his best efforts, it was impossible to forget her. Each time another marriage proposal landed on his desk, each time a noble introduced him to their unmarried daughter, each time his advisors suggested that a royal marriage would help stabilize the realm…each time Dimitri couldn’t help but think of her. It was ridiculous, truly. He’d spoken to her once. He didn’t even know her name! And even if their acquaintance had been long, she was still a nun, sworn to the goddess with a duty she couldn’t escape. There could never be anything between them.
Dimitri always found excuses to reject the marriage proposals. The people needed his undivided attention. The kingdom had too few resources for a royal wedding. He didn’t want to show favouritism to any one faction. But no matter what justification he made, Dimitri knew deep down what really motivated him.
Two years passed, and the nun continued to haunt his dreams. He truly was pathetic, clinging to a memory with such desperation. Dimitri knew that he needed to get over this pointless infatuation. Even Sylvain had gotten bored of making quips about his “scandalous tryst with a holy woman.” It was time for him to move on and do what was best for the kingdom. What he wanted didn’t matter.
Ailell was a nightmare.
The air was so hot that Dimitri could barely breathe, his sweltering armour more of a liability than protection in this wretched heat. Sweat dripped down his face as he tore through the never-ending swarm of imperial soldiers. He could only thank the goddess that he’d taken to wearing his hair in a ponytail – just the thought of it sticking to his face and obscuring his vision was unbearable.
After slicing through yet another battalion, Dimitri paused to catch his breath. He wasn’t tired, exactly – the stamina from his crest allowed him to fight far longer than a normal human – but the mental toll of being in Ailell was growing too strong. The flames burning around him, the screams of dying soldiers, the smell of blood and death…memories of Duscur threatened to overwhelm him. He tried to push it down, to focus on the fight around him, but with the screams of the dead growing ever louder, Dimitri found himself giving into the bloodlust, charging recklessly ahead without thought.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have come here. Most of his advisors had argued against it. Yes, it was important for the kingdom to send forces in aid of the Church, but there was no reason for the king to personally lead the rescue mission. Dimitri knew they were right, that he was a poor ruler for recklessly risking his life. But when news of the war reached Fhirdiad – when he learned that his own stepsister, his only remaining family, had chosen to throw Fodlan into chaos – he’d found it difficult to think logically. All that Dimitri knew was that he needed to be here.
With a roar, Dimitri lunged back into the battle. Now wasn’t the time for thought. He soon lost himself to the thrill of fighting, pushing farther and farther beyond enemy lines. A distant part of him realized that his allies were struggling to keep up, but it mattered not. As if Dimitri had anything to fear from these rats, screaming in horror when they realized they faced the Tempest King.
“Dimitri!”
Felix’s scream finally broke him from his trance. There was an uncharacteristic note of terror in it – one that Dimitri hadn’t heard since they were children – that finally managed to push through his bloodlust.
The desperate look on Felix’s face was equally unexpected as he tried to fight through a pack of imperial soldiers. “Dimitri, behind you!”
An arrow plunged into Dimitri’s right arm, followed by two more into his back before he could react. He stumbled forward, unnatural pain shooting through his body as he struggled to turn around. But when he saw what lay behind him, Dimitri knew that it was too late.
An imperial soldier rushed toward him, axe held high. There was a sniper just behind him, the shining bow in her hands still fixed on Dimitri. With his arm injured by the magic-laced arrow, he wouldn’t be able to raise Areadbhar fast enough to block the strike. And no matter how fast Felix fought, not even he would be able to cross the distance in time.
It was over.
Dimitri only felt relieved.
A figure materialized before him – a woman judging by her small stature. She easily parried the falling axe with a sword and slipped past the soldier’s guard, slamming her fist into his face. The man stumbled backward, but before he could even hope to react, the woman thrust her sword through his stomach. In one smooth movement, she pulled it free and twirled toward the sniper, left hand raised. The sniper jumped, hurriedly shifting her aim from Dimitri to the woman, but it was too late. A burst of intense white magic surrounded her, ending her life in an instant.
Dimitri was stunned, struggling to process what he’d just witnessed. Perhaps he should have felt grateful to be saved from certain death, but instead he only felt blessed to have experienced such skill. He’d never seen such elegant fighting before – she was so deadly yet as graceful as a dancer, the destruction she wrought horribly captivating. He took a step toward his saviour, desperate to learn her identity.
The woman turned toward him, and Dimitri found himself staring into the face that haunted his dreams. His thoughts came to a crashing halt.
The woman – the nun – suffered from no such affliction. She reached for his arm, her faith magic that had so easily claimed a life now gentle and comforting against him. Dimitri shuddered at the rush of pleasure.
Was this a dream? Perhaps he hadn’t avoided the soldier’s axe. Perhaps this was just a vision, granted to him by a merciful goddess as he lay dying. Surely it couldn’t be reality.
“Hmm.” The nun stared at the arrow in his arm, her expression still as blank as ever. “I can’t extract these on the battlefield. We need to get you to safety. Let’s go.”
As the nun stepped away, Dimitri’s mind finally leapt back into motion. He couldn’t let her leave, not yet. Reaching for her with his left hand, he grabbed at her arm desperately. She paused, glancing over her shoulder with a flat expression.
“Y-your name!” Dimitri shouted, embarrassingly loud. He flushed as the nun tilted her head. “I…that is…I never learned your name when we last met. I have sought to learn it ever since, so that I may thank you properly for your aid, but…” Dimitri trailed off, struck by a mortifying thought – did she even remember him? Their conversation beneath the stars had meant everything to him, but surely a wretch like him couldn’t have made such an impression on her.
The nun turned to face him fully and Dimitri’s spiraling thoughts vanished. Even in the sweltering heat of Ailell, a few loose strands of hair sticking to her face with sweat, she was still the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. She blinked slowly, the mannerism more charming than it had any right to be.
“Byleth.”
Dimitri continued to stare at her, his stunned mind taking an embarrassingly long moment to understand what she said. She huffed – her version of a laugh? – the soft sound finally shaking him from his stupor.
“Byleth,” he repeated, unable to stop his widening smile. Byleth. Byleth. What a beautiful name…
“BOAR!”
Dimitri flinched. He’d forgotten about Felix in his joy over reuniting with Byleth, but it seemed that his friend had finally managed to fight his way through the imperial soldiers. Felix stomped up next to him, his earlier panic now replaced by a glare that was fearsome even by his standards.
“Don’t you ever do that again or I swear I will kill you myself next time,” he snarled. Dimitri grinned sheepishly, knowing the harsh language was just Felix’s way of showing he cared.
“There is no need to worry, Felix. I am fine – ” Dimitri stopped mid sentence, wincing in pain as he tried to lift his arm in a calming gesture. Felix’s gaze darted to the arrow still protruding from his arm. His scowl deepened, mouth opening in preparation for a lecture.
Byleth stepped between them. “He needs to retreat immediately,” she stated calmly. Felix turned his glare on her, but not even that seemed to faze her.
Felix narrowed his eyes, but after a tense moment he nodded. “At least someone on this battlefield has common sense,” he muttered, shooting Dimitri yet another pointed look.
Dimitri sighed, but didn’t protest. With a final scoff, Felix turned and rushed ahead to clear their path. But before Dimitri could follow, he felt a small hand grab his own. He turned to face Byleth in surprise, shock only increasing as she averted her gaze, looking almost…shy?
“I’m glad to see you again,” she stated quietly. “Talking with you was…nice. I think about it whenever I look at the stars…” Byleth turned away abruptly. “The battlefield is dangerous. Let’s go.”
Dimitri followed her obediently, barely registering the pain from his injuries. She remembered him. She thought about him. And had that been a blush, before she turned away? No, surely her reddened face was from the heat of Ailell, but it mattered not. Byleth remembered him, and was here at his side. Dimitri couldn’t stop smiling.
At long last, he had found her again.
Dimitri slept better than he had in years that night.
He dreamt of Byleth.
Unfortunately, she’d returned to the battlefield after depositing him at the infirmary, fending off the imperial army as the kingdom and church finished their retreat to the Galatea camp. He hadn’t yet had a chance to seek her out – his duties as king still took precedent – but the knowledge that she was somewhere in the camp soothed his anxious nerves.
That morning, he breakfasted with Rodrigue, Felix, and Sylvain, going over their plans for handling the church one final time. The plans were still rough unfortunately, but there hadn’t been much time in the rush from Fhirdiad to Ailell. At the very least, they’d been able to make arrangements for housing in Camulus and drawn up ideas for how the Knights of Seiros could be incorporated into the kingdom army, though the finer details of how the kingdom and church would interact remained ambiguous.
Not for the first time, Dimitri cursed Edelgard and her war. Although he respected Lady Rhea and wished to protect the church for the sake of his people, Dimitri had hoped to politically distance the kingdom from the Central Church before the war broke out. Now, they would be forced into a closer relationship than ever before, entrenching the church even deeper into the kingdom’s political structures. He couldn’t just reject the archbishop’s plea for sanctuary though – not only would it go against his own morals, but his people would surely riot at such dishonourable behaviour. Not to mention, the church provided legitimacy to the kingdom as a sovereign nation, and would be a crucial ally in opposing the empire’s conquest.
It was an unfortunate situation all around, but Dimitri had to hope that their hastily made plans would be able to check the Central Church’s influence until the war’s end. Though, he now had one regret about their plan.
Byleth.
Dimitri tried to suppress a sigh as he and his advisors made their way to the strategy tent. He had finally found her again, but it was all for naught. As a nun, she would be accompanying Lady Rhea to Camulus, far from the kingdom army. And from him. It seemed that their relationship was doomed to be nothing but brief encounters separated by years apart. That was for the best though, Dimitri firmly reminded himself. She was a nun. Even friendship would be inappropriate between them. Anything…more…could never happen. Ever.
Finally arriving at their destination, Dimitri forced thoughts of Byleth from his mind and plastered on his best kingly smile. He needed to focus, for the sake of the kingdom and his people. He entered the strategy tent flanked by Rodrigue and Felix, Sylvain and a few other advisors following behind. Lady Rhea rose from her seat gracefully to greet him, though her usually serene expression was far harsher than normal. Seteth and Captain Jeralt were present as well, and a group of clergy gathered at the back.
Dimitri bowed politely. “Your Grace, I am relieved to see you unharmed.”
“And I you, King Dimitri,” Rhea replied with a nod. “You have my gratitude for honouring your vows to the church, unlike that wretched girl.” At the mention of Edelgard, any trace of composure fled Rhea. The rage burning in her voice and gaze were all too familiar to Dimitri – that same darkness dwelled within him, after all.
“Indeed. Edelgard must be stopped at all costs.” Dimitri clenched his fists and pushed down his anger. Now wasn’t the time.
Forcing another polite smile, he gestured for Felix to place a map upon the nearby table and began to explain the kingdom’s plans. Fortunately, Rhea agreed to retreat to Camulus alongside most of the clergy, while the Knights of Seiros would join the kingdom army under Captain Jeralt’s command. Despite the circumstances, Dimitri couldn’t help but feel excited to fight alongside the legendary Blade Breaker himself. He’d only met the man once, when Jeralt had saved the three house leaders from bandits on that ill-fated camping trip, but the captain had certainly lived up to the rumours. Perhaps now Dimitri might get a chance to spar with him, or maybe even ask for his advice on lance techniques.
As the meeting drew closer to its end, Dimitri began to relax. Rhea had been amenable to all of their plans so far, allowing the discussion to proceed smoothly.
He should have known that it was too good to be true.
“You are most generous, King Dimitri,” Rhea said with a smile. “The church shall not forget your service. But please, allow me to repay your kindness in some small way.”
She gestured toward the group of clergy seated at the back of the tent. Dimitri hadn’t paid much attention to the group since arriving – none had spoken during the discussion, and he’d assumed them to just be some sort of entourage that followed the archbishop everywhere.
“War is a heavy burden, and it would comfort me greatly to know that you have one of the faithful to guide you through these trying times, King Dimitri.” Rhea’s expression softened, pride and affection plain as she looked toward the clergy. “My niece is an accomplished student of both military tactics and religious doctrine. I believe that she would be a valuable addition to your council of advisors.”
Dimitri tried not to let his dismay show. A church representative was the last person he wanted in his war council – the whole point of sending Rhea to Camulus was to maintain distance between church and state. But there was nothing he could do. Rejecting Rhea’s offer would surely cause offense and sour their relationship, a result that he hoped to avoid. Dimitri would just have to accept this niece and find some way to keep her from causing too much trouble.
“Byleth, dear. Please come forward.”
Dimitri’s whirling thoughts came to a halt. Byleth!?
For the second time in two days, a vision from his dreams stepped into real life. Dimitri’s jaw dropped as she approached, her movements graceful despite her heavy robes. Distantly, Dimitri could hear Rhea listing off Byleth’s many accomplishments, but his mind could focus only on the brightness of her eyes, shining with some emotion he thought might be amusement.
Someone coughed. Dimitri ignored it, lost in his daze. He ignored the second cough too, though a sharp kick from Felix finally proved enough to wake him.
“You’ll catch flies if you leave your mouth hanging open like that, Your Majesty,” Captain Jeralt drawled. Dimitri promptly shut his mouth. For some reason the captain was glaring at him, his already stern disposition positively murderous.
Dimitri began to blush, realizing just how obviously he’d been ogling Byleth. Rhea stared at him through narrowed eyes, her affectionate smile long gone. He glanced to the side, noting Felix’s look of disgust – normal – and Sylvain grinning as though Dimitri had just given him the greatest gift imaginable. Rodrigue was smiling too, his expression promising there would be teasing later, but his eyes were sharp, flicking between Dimitri and Byleth with an assessing gleam.
“I…” Dimitri threw himself into a deep bow, face bright red. “My apologies. I am honoured to – to make your acquaintance, Byleth.”
“Sister Byleth,” Rhea corrected coldly.
“Ah, yes. Of course. Sister Byleth.” Dimitri straightened. All at once, the reality of what was happening crashed down on him. Byleth was joining his council. She wouldn’t be hidden away in Camulus, she’d be by his side. Every day.
“The honour is mine,” Byleth replied evenly. Her lips twitched, just for a moment, but Dimitri’s throat went dry at the sight. Despite all of his etiquette training, all of his experience with diplomacy, he was completely lost for words.
Rhea moved between them, sending Dimitri a suspicious glare as she placed a hand on Byleth’s shoulder. “My dear, perhaps we should reconsider – ”
“The goddess chose this path, Aunt Rhea,” Byleth interrupted, quiet yet firm.
Rhea hesitated, then nodded. “Yes…yes, of course.” Despite the fond look she gave Byleth, her eyes were icy as she turned back to Dimitri. “As you can see, my niece is most devout. She has pledged her life to the goddess, King Dimitri, and she takes that vow seriously. I pray that you remember that.”
Dimitri forced a smile, though dread coiled in his stomach. “An admirable decision. I assure you that I will do everything in my power to keep Sister Byleth safe during her time in the kingdom. You have my word.”
He bowed once more, trying not to grimace. Yes, Byleth would be at his side for months, perhaps even years. But suddenly, that prospect felt more like torture than joy.
There could never be anything between them after all.