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Tsukasa typed at the phone screen quickly. He really didn't enjoy starting conversations, but no one had really messaged him today, besides one conversation with Rui.
"Hi Rui!! I just wanted to let you know that I love you SO MUCH!!! 🌟🌟"
"Hi Nene!!!! How are you doing today!!?"
"Hi Emu!!!! Are you feeling wonderhoy today!!?"
He waited.
He waited,
and waited,
and waited.
He was patient. He waited for hours, but there was nothing. No replies.
Not until late in the night, at almost 2 am (8 hours after when he had sent the messages).
He got the notification and set down the costume he was working on at the time, quickly unlocking his phone, and looking at who replied; Rui.
"I love you too; By the way, I have a new invention I'd like to test out, and I wanted to see if you'd test it for me? <3"
Oh.
He really only responded because he needed something of him.
No, no.. maybe Rui was just busy and only was able to get to him now?
But, on other occasions that he's been busy, Rui always made time to answer.
Tsukasa racked his brain, trying to figure out why it took Rui forever to respond.
Whatever, he didn't care too much. Sitting there thinking didn't bring any solutions. He knew he wasn't that important anyhow, so it doesn't matter.
"Of course my beloved inventor!!! I can't wait to test it out!!! <3333"
"Fufu~ Tomorrow at the Wonder Stage sound good?"
"Yep!!!<333"
He placed his phone on the bed, standing up off of it and looking out the window, observing the houses that sat next to his; watching the nightlife, the trees shake in the wind... it was relaxing.
He placed his phone in his pocket and put on a light coat; it was cold out tonight, and Tsukasa knew that. He walked downstairs and slipped on warm but comfortable shoes and walked outside, sitting on the chairs that sat on the outside porch. He listened to the sounds of the night, the wind howling quietly as it blew through the air, owls 'hoo'ed, and neighbor's dogs barked.
He sat out there for a while, and he got no messages from anyone. Emu and Nene would be asleep by now, but Rui wouldn't be. Why wasn't Rui messaging him?
It didn't feel right.
Normally they talked for hours.
Rui never minded starting conversations.
He never minded keeping up the conversation; he knew Tsukasa got distracted easily, so why was today different?
Why had they said a maximum of 7 sentenced today?
It didn't make sense and it worried Tsukasa.
His mind raced with thoughts, but two of the most prominent ones were;
Rui was losing interest in him; he didn't love him as much,
and,
No one wanted to talk to him until they needed something from him.
Both of those ideas, he hated.
He hated them lots, and he hoped and prayed both of them weren't true, but he couldn't help but wonder, what if they were?
No, no.
Rui said he loved him just earlier, so clearly the first one wasn't true...
So, did people not want to talk to Tsukasa?
Did people not want him around until they needed him?
Was he only wanted when he was useful?
Was that all he was?
Someone to be useful to others?
He hated that thought, but maybe it was true.
Maybe no one really wanted Tsukasa Tenma around, but maybe they kept him around. Because he listened. He cared. He would hear what you had to say and try his damndest to give you some kind of help/advice.
He stared at the ground, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes as he wiped his sleeve over his face, attempting to rid it of any pain. Of any sadness.
Tsukasa didn't want to worry anyone.
They didn't need to worry over him.
He was fine.
He always was!
Once you start spiraling down a path of horrible feelings, it always seems to worsen, doesn't it?
These feelings didn't even relate to prior reasoning for his feelings, but it hurt all the same. He clutched his chest and squeezed as he thought about the troupe and their improvement.
Nene was so much better at speaking infront of large crowds now.
Emu improved in acting roles not similar to her personality.
And Rui improved in his robot-making skills and his acting skills.
He squeezed his chest tighter. What did he improve in? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It really pissed him off. He wanted to scream about how unfair that was. He's tried so, so hard. Yet no improvement. That can't be fair. It just can't be.
He wants to hate his parents. He wants to scream and yell at them for leaving him alone so often as a child but he can't. He couldn't. He loves his parent's too muchz and he knows why that happened. He knows and understands but he's angry. Angry at himself for not trying harder to get them to stay, and angry at them for never making an effort for him.
Tsukasa Tenma was no one's 'priority'. He was someoje that people just sort of happened to care for whilst caring for others.
And goddamn, did it hurt when he finally realized. Because he couldn't stop the flowing tears, he couldn't stop the quiet sobs that escaped his throat.
At least it wae late at night. No one would hear him at least.