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"I'm going to live with Komari-chan."
Rin spoke without any fanfare, dropping her announcement into the conversation as if it were no more than a passing remark. This caused both Riki and Kyousuke to pause and stare at her in unintentional unison; Rin could only frown at this sudden silent reaction. "Wh-what!? Is that bad?"
Kyousuke recovered quickly, smiling brightly. "That sounds great, Rin. ...Have you discussed this with her?"
"Of course--! She was the one who suggested it in the first place."
"And you're fine with that?"
"Why wouldn't I be?! If it's Komari-chan, then--" Rin suddenly looked to the side, blushing slightly. "--... of course I'm fine with it..."
"Well, then." Kyousuke leant forward, his chin against netted fingers. "There's a lot we'll have to organise! You'll have to decide what you're taking with you, and we'll have to pack it up in time--"
"I know, I know --! It's not happening immediately or anything, I'm just saying, it's going to happen, okay?! I didn't want it to be a surprise, so I thought that I should tell you!"
Kyousuke got up from the table, gathering up the empty plates and bowls. He held them with one arm, reaching across to ruffle Rin's hair with his other hand. "Right. Sensible!" (Rin made an unhappy noise and ducked away from Kyousuke's hand, but relented.)
Silence fell across the table, as Kyousuke cleared the table. Rin glanced across at Riki, eyeing him cautiously. "... You haven't said anything."
Riki waved his hands in front of him, "No, no, it's fine--! I mean, that is--... I'm sure that'll be great!"
Something about Riki's manner seemed to have Rin unconvinced. The look in her eyes didn't change, but she nodded. "Mm."
~~~~
Somehow, the days between Kyousuke, Rin and Riki had fallen into a comfortable sort of routine. None of them had intended for it to happen that way, but there felt no need to change things, and so the issue hadn't been raised. Kyousuke had taken to living in apartments after graduation - first to be nearby to Rin (and the other Little Busters) as she finished up her third year of high school, and then to be nearby as Riki and Rin attended university. Riki had lived within the university dormitories, as had Rin, for a time. It had been difficult at first - she'd tried hard, and tried harder to prove that it wasn't a problem, which had only exacerbated what problems existed. The compromise was for her to attend university while living alongside Kyousuke, who had taken a two-bedroom apartment in the expectation that she would live with him from the start. She could attend her lectures and explore the university's available circles, make friends in her department and socialise beyond study, but she could always return to her room at Kyousuke's place and feel the pressure lift, feel that nobody would bother her beyond her limit (except for Kyousuke, but she didn't mind yelling at him when she'd had enough. He didn't mind being yelled at, either).
Riki, on the other hand, had quietly lived in the university dormitories until it was time to move out, at which point he'd taken on a job and an apartment of his own. He'd had Kyousuke's help with that, and so things just happened to fall into place with an apartment that was only a stone's throw from the Natsume abode. It wasn't that he had to visit them so often, but things often seemed to happen that way. It was easier to cook for a group than it was to cook for one, Kyousuke said, and so Riki often found himself having his evening meal alongside Rin and Kyousuke, because it seemed sensible and neither Kyousuke nor Rin seemed to mind, so...
(To make up for it, Riki would often stop by the supermarket after work and would pick up things for the evening meal, or that might aid Kyousuke's kitchen adventures beyond. It wouldn't have felt right, otherwise.)
Occasionally there would be other visitors - Masato, Kengo, any of the other Little Busters on the off-chance that they were nearby at the time. Komari was a frequent visitor. Kurugaya spent a lot of her time overseas, but would visit whenever she was back in the country, usually found in the company of Haruka and Kanata. Kud, too, spent time in the countries that took her favour, but would always let the others know when she was available to meet up. Mio, too, had attended a nearby university - Riki would often receive text messages recommending the latest book that she'd read, amongst other (stranger) text messages. If they met, it was usually at Kyousuke's apartment; it wasn't the largest space in the world, but Kyousuke opened it out to all of them.
Riki would stay until it felt appropriate to leave; he knew that it wouldn't be good for anybody's schedule for him to stay for too long, but Kyousuke never told him to leave. Often, he would be on his way down to the bottom of the apartment complex to find either Rin or Kyousuke waiting for him at the bottom, wanting to continue on some conversation or another.
The elevator doors opened, and Riki found Rin standing there, panting slightly.
"You took the stairs?"
"You--... you left too quickly!"
"Well, it is getting late..." Riki stepped out of the elevator before the doors closed on him. "Did you want to say something?"
Rin's eyes darted to the floor, then to Riki, then to the side, as if she couldn't quite say what she wanted out loud. She had that same cautious expression as she'd had at the dinner table. "Are you okay that I'll be moving in with Komari-chan?"
She seemed concerned about it, but Riki couldn't think of a single reason as to why he'd want to object. Now that the surprise had been taken out of the situation, he simply smiled back at Rin. "Why wouldn't I be? I bet that'll be a lot of fun. I'm sure Komari-san will enjoy that, too."
Rin gave a small nod, and then took a confident stance. "Komari-chan says that animals are allowed in her apartment! She says that as soon as I move in, we can get a cat!"
"Are you sure that's not the only reason you want to move in there?"
"Of course not--!... I am looking forward to it, though..."
Riki kept his smile, but still wasn't too sure as to why Rin had felt the need to run down the stairs to talk to him. He left enough silence between them just in case she was about to speak, but she didn't seem to take that chance. Faltering slightly, Riki made to move towards the apartment complex entrance. "Well, I'll just--"
"I--"
"Yes?"
"... It took a long time to be able to say that."
"Hm?"
"To be able to tell you. And Kyousuke. I thought about it a lot. I didn't know if I should make you sit on the sofa and speak about it like it was a big dramatic thing, or... or not. So it just came out like it did. But you and Kyousuke seemed surprised anyway, so it was--... maybe that was the wrong way to say it..."
"I don't think there's any way you could have said that where we wouldn't have been surprised...! Even if you'd tried to prepare us. But if it's what you've decided, and it's what Komari-san has decided, then that sounds like a great plan! If you need any help moving your things, let me know. Whatever I can do, I'll try to help with."
"... Okay. Thanks." (Something about Rin's manner still seemed reticent, but Riki didn't push the issue.)
~~~~
A few days after that, Riki came to the Natsume household to find Kyousuke there by himself. Rin was, apparently, spending time with Komari. Staying the night, just to try it out.
"She's been there before, of course. Just, now that she's made that decision..."
As they stood on the balcony of the apartment, looking out on the lower buildings below and around, Riki couldn't help but think that this had been the first time for quite some time that he and Kyousuke had been alone together. Sometimes they would talk on the entrance steps to the apartment, but that was always at the end of the evening, and never for too long. If it was the evening, then time was limited. If it was the weekend, then there would often be Masato or Kengo or Komari--. Riki treasured the time spent with both Rin and Kyousuke, but realised how strange it felt to be with Kyousuke while Rin was miles away, hours before her return. (He suddenly wondered if this was why Rin had been so insistent on asking if he was okay with her decision. He hadn't really thought about it like that before.)
"I guess it'll be quieter from now on... well, as soon as she moves out, that is."
"We had the fun task of telling our parents, earlier."
"How did that go?"
Kyousuke turned around to face the apartment, his elbows against the rail. "About as well as could be expected. They still don't understand why I can't take a job closer to home, why I can't still be living with them. They sort of accept Rin living with me, but take that away, and it mixes everything up again. You should be living with us! You should contribute towards your family! If it's not me, then it's Rin. If you're not going to live with your brother, then you should be back home with us! ... It's pretty exhausting. I know I was exhausted afterwards, let alone how stressful Rin found it... but she did stand up to them, though. I admired her for that."
"I suppose that's something we all chose to do, isn't it? You moved out immediately after school, Rin followed you..."
"You were never tempted to go back home?"
Riki wrinkled his nose momentarily. "I think they were fine with the idea of me being independent. I didn't... really feel that I needed to go back there. University was a good excuse not to, as well. Then, you know, you're settled in an area, you can take an apartment there... it's easy to make excuses."
"Are they really excuses, though?" Kyousuke turned back to look towards the city. "I wouldn't be happy with Rin going back there. She wouldn't be happy going back there. I think they know by now they can't make us do anything, so that's just how it is." He grinned across at Riki. "I think they always found me a bit of a handful."
A slight silence fell. Once more, Riki couldn't help but wonder the last time that he'd spent time with Kyousuke like this. Even thinking back through as far as childhood, it had always been the five of them. Kyousuke had been absent from their school days at the end of junior high, but still present as much as he could manage. This had changed slightly following his high-school graduation and his move into the workplace, but he still found time to be in their lives as much as possible. Sometimes Riki had worried that they might be a bother to Kyousuke that way, but so many things were instigated by him to begin with that he couldn't feel bad for too long. So many things had happened without question - the time they spent together, Rin and Kyousuke living together, Riki's frequent visits... he spent so much time there, he no longer felt guilty for asking.
"... So Rin made a pretty big decision by herself, didn't she?" The more Riki thought about it, the larger it seemed.
"As I said, she stood her case rather well in front of our parents. I remember when we told them that she would move in with me, they got angry, saying that I shouldn't be supporting her all the time. Saying she should get a job, if she was going to be living with me. Leeching off me, they said."
"What did she say to that?"
"Not a lot. I was fighting on her behalf, back then. ...They brought that up again, saying it was even more unfair to expect Komari to provide for her." Kyousuke smiled fondly. "She cut them off, though. Glared them down and said that that didn't matter, because she'd get a job."
"...Wow."
"I know, right? So... yeah, she made a big decision. She's made a plan, and she's sticking to it. I know that she fell shy during university, and I don't think we can really force her out of her shell... but if she wants to move out and support herself, by herself, how can I argue with that? It's a pretty big deal. I'm happy for her."
(They stayed out on the balcony until it got too cold, and then Riki stayed until it felt too late. He considered the thought of Kyousuke left alone in his apartment as he left, but couldn't think of any suitable response to that situation. He made his way home, and slept soon after he got in.)
~~~~
Sometimes, Kyousuke would find himself on the wrong end of a corporate drinks event, and would call for Riki. Calling for him to drive was easier than trying to navigate public transport while drunk, and Riki didn't really mind all that much - at least, less than Rin did. (She would usually take one look at them on the door opening, sigh, and then retreat to her bedroom.)
Similarly, the opposite was also true. Riki didn't feel that his job required him to imbibe quite so much alcohol as Kyousuke's seemed to - he couldn't decide if that made his employer more or less easygoing, but it wasn't something that he objected to. The events had been going on for quite some time now, and he still wasn't too sure that he was used to the sensation of being drunk. From the sounds of what Kyousuke's nights out were like, Riki could only deduce that Kyousuke was far more used to it than he was, at the very least. And so he would call Kyousuke, who would come by without question. Sometimes with Rin in tow, sometimes not. Riki's co-workers would nudge him in the side and ask is that your girlfriend? , and through the haze of alcohol, everything felt all the more confusing. He would usually laugh it off.
It wasn't the first time such things had happened, either. For a time, especially once the group was out of school, there seemed to be some heavy expectation in the air that he and Rin should get together. Kurugaya smirking at him, saying that it's time to make your move, young man . Komari gazing at him with wide eyes, asking him how he felt about Rin. He wasn't sure his feelings had ever changed, and therein lay the problem. Was it even a problem? When he was drunk, it was hard to tell. Other people seemed to expect it, he had never expected anything, Rin seemed in much the same boat. He felt unsure enough to be sure, and Rin seemed wholly disinterested. Eventually, this seemed to go on for long enough that most of the rest of the group accepted that actually, that wasn't going to happen, and so they eventually stopped mentioning it. His co-workers, though, hadn't had that length of time for their interest to dissipate.
"They thought I was your girlfriend again."
The car ride home, Rin saying those things in a matter-of-fact sort of a way. Riki only stared out towards the moving scenery outside, closing his eyes with a slight groan.
Sometimes, he dreamt. Half-remembered dreams, dreams in which the only thought that remained on waking would be uncomfortable thoughts--... dreams of living with Rin, cats all over the house. Of walking with Mio, underneath her parasol. Running hand-in-hand with Haruka, comforting her as she cried. Dreams that felt strangely realistic, that left him with a strange sense of loss on waking. He would wander around his apartment in a daze afterwards, wondering why his brain had given him a romantic dream with Kurugaya. Or Kud. Or Rin. Or--
(Riki never mentioned it to any of them. There didn't seem to be any point in it.)
Those times that Kyousuke picked him up from those alcohol-fuelled evenings, Riki would ride in the car and he would wonder. He had those dreams, and those strange heavy feelings that the dreams induced, but none of the dreams seemed--... none of them seemed like anything that he wanted to pursue. Every once in a while, his guardians would ask him if he had any plans to marry. He told them the truth, and they never seemed pleased. You're not getting any younger. Shouldn't you have met someone by now? I thought young people usually met at university these days. Are you sure you didn't meet anybody at all while you were there? You need to start looking. Riki tuned those jabs out the longer they went on, but realised quickly that he'd have the same things to deal with from his co-workers, too. He knew that they didn't mean it in the malicious way that his guardians did, but there was still that kernel of accusation that Riki couldn't protect himself from. And so they would ask about Rin, and he would deny them, and he never felt quite comfortable doing so. There was too much there to try to explain, and so Riki left the subject alone.
Sometimes a drunk female co-worker would ask Riki if Kyousuke was single. That, too, usually stopped Riki in his tracks. Kyousuke was , but Riki didn't feel that he wanted to say that quite so easily. He wasn't sure that he liked their attention being taken by Kyousuke at all. Days later, under the sober light of the workplace, Riki would get notes with phone numbers passed to him, could you give this to that friend of yours? If he's interested. Let him know I'm interested!
Kyousuke would help Riki from the car, help him to his apartment, help him up the stairs, help him to bed. He'd stay for a while, bringing water and consideration and asking Riki how he felt, and only leaving once he was sure that Riki would be fine in his absence. He would tell Kyousuke that it was fine and that everything was fine, really, he didn't need that much help, really , but Kyousuke would insist. And Riki didn't mind. And sometimes a drunken question would fall from his lips, before he could stop it.
"... Have your parents ever wanted you to get married...?"
That question made Kyousuke pause, wide-eyed for just a moment, but he relaxed into a smile as he sat at Riki's bedside. "Oh, of course. All the time! Don't you know how awful it is for parents to have two adult children, and for neither of them to be in relationships?! It's practically against the law. That's half the reason they don't like Rin living with me, saying that I'll never be able to bring potential suitors home if I've got a younger sister hanging round all the time. I feel like they've kind of given up on Rin in that regard, so I get all the pressure. Fun!"
"You ever... want to get married...?"
" You need to drink some water and get some sleep." Kyousuke gave the question a brief amount of thought, and then shrugged. "It's not really something I've thought about. Through school, I just wanted to have fun with you guys, when I left school I wanted to be sure I'd be able to provide for Rin once she left... then working , that takes up so much time, and I guess if you meet someone at work, maybe that could work out? But it's... I don't know. I never felt like I had space to think about it. Of course, my parents would say that I was just being lazy and that I should make space to think about it, but..." (Another shrug.) "How about you?"
"Huh? Oh..." Riki felt too hazy-minded to cope with the question reversed back at him; that felt like far too devious a tactic for that time of night. "I dunno. Never really thought about it. ...Guess it's kinda what you said?... Was always busy... with everyone else... that was so much fun, didn't feel like I really needed anything else..."
Kyousuke ruffled Riki's hair. "Right?" His eyes grew serious, although Riki barely noticed. "Trying to force yourself into that sort of thing... that's not the right way to go about things."
"Hmm..."
Pushing himself up from the bed, Kyousuke spoke quietly. "... You should know that better than any of us..."
"Hmm...?"
"No, it's nothing. Do you need any more water? I can go get some..."
~~~~
Rin's chosen day for moving out arrived faster than Riki expected it to. Things seemed to have moved from there being no date to it being at some nebulous point in the future to it being next month to it being today, and then suddenly Komari was there with them in Rin's room, helping to move boxes out into cars. It had been decided that since most of the furniture and fittings at the apartment belonged to Kyousuke alongside the fact that Komari had prepared for Rin's arrival in advance meant that not all that much needed to be transported. Kyousuke suggested hiring a van, but between Riki's car and Kyousuke's own, the boxes seemed to fit.
Rin rode alongside Kyousuke, and Riki took Komari along in his vehicle as they made their way towards her - soon to be shared - apartment. Komari's broad smile hadn't lessened once throughout the day, and Riki couldn't help but feel warmed just to see it. Rin had approached the day with nervousness, although her own small smiles told Riki that she was just as excited too, in her own way. Kyousuke had been teasing her in the weeks leading up to it, saying that finally she wouldn't have to share living space with a boy , she wouldn't have to have her stupid brother around all the time-- and she'd just call him stupid in response, and he would laugh.
Komari gazed out of the window, rocking her feet back and forth in the footwell. "... And if Rin-chan has forgotten anything, she can always just come back and get it. It's not like Kyousuke-san's apartment is very far away. He'll look after any of Rin-chan's things!"
"Yeah, that's right. I don't think we've forgotten anything, though...? Kyousuke had everything sorted pretty thoroughly. It's almost like he knew what was in Rin's room better than she did! But it should be easy to unpack, too. Bathroom things together in one box, books in another, everything's... everything's organised. I think, anyway!"
"It's so exciting~! I've been looking forward to today so much. Has Rin-chan been talking about it a lot?"
"Well, she's been--... Kyousuke's been talking about it a lot, I'm not sure she's been able to get a word in edgeways!"
Komari kept her eyes on the road ahead, noticing a set of traffic lights ahead. "Riki-kuun, can I tell you something...?"
Riki slowed down for the traffic lights, matching the speed of the surrounding vehicles. "Sure, go ahead. What is it?"
"I'm dating Rin-chan."
"Yeah? That's cool-- wait, what ?!" Riki pressed down on the brake hard enough that the car jolted somewhat, just in time to come to a halt in the line of traffic. Realising his position he looked ahead and checked his controls, but the car was still running and he hadn't hit anything, so everything seemed fine in that regard. He looked to Komari in surprise, but she just smiled serenely back at him. "... You... and Rin?"
A nod. "Mm hm!"
There was a lot to take in, there. The first thing that came to mind was well, it's good that you're moving in together then, isn't it? This was superseded by various fragmented thoughts such as how and when and what?! , none of which Riki was able to coherently express. The lights ahead changed and he brought the car back up to speed, unable to do anything about the silence as he tried to think about how to counter it. "I, I mean, that's--... that's--..."
"Is it very surprising~?"
"I, I mean--... it's... it's..."
"I should have said something earlier...! Obviously Rin-chan knew, it wouldn't work if she didn't know! We told Kyousuke-san a little while ago. I wondered if he might tell you, although I think he might also have wanted to respect Rin-chan's privacy. I wanted Rin-chan to tell you, I think she wanted me to tell you. I should have done it before now! Better times and better places... but... now you know, so, now Rin-chan doesn't have to worry about that anymore!"
Hearing that line gave Riki's mind something to focus in on. "... Rin was worried?"
"Mm. She worried a lot about what Kyousuke-san would say, about what you would say... about what the others will say, when we tell them... and I keep telling her, it'll be fine! There's nothing strange about it at all! But Rin-chan gets nervous. I think she'd be nervous about telling anybody even if it was a boy she was going out with! She's still finding her comfort zone about a lot of things. I think she wanted to tell you before she told you about her moving, but things didn't work out that way!"
Suddenly, Rin's behaviour over the last little while made more sense, to Riki's mind. That unsure expression, the way it seemed that she'd often been about to say something--. Those times where she had said things, but it hadn't felt like enough, and he hadn't known what else to do to bring it out of her. Riki gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "... I should have noticed."
"Noticed what?"
"She kept seeming like she wanted to say something, but I--... I never wanted to push her, so she never said it, whatever it was she was going to say. I thought she was probably just nervous about her decision to move. Well, she was probably nervous about that too, but..."
"It's not a big thing though, is it?"
"Huh?"
"It doesn't change anything~! Rin-chan is still Rin-chan. I'm still me. We were friends before this, and we're still friends, but... even more friends! And we're still friends with you, and nothing's changed with Kyousuke-san, and..." Komari paused for a moment, thinking something over. "It felt like the most natural thing for us, so I really, really hope that it isn't weird for you, Riki-kun! I can understand you being surprised, I really do understand that! But please don't think that too much has changed. The only real thing is that Rin-chan was brave enough to admit her feelings, and was able to act on them, so... even if it's weird, could you at least praise her for being brave? Having feelings for people can be difficult! It's su~uper difficult telling someone else how you feel, when you're not sure how they're going to respond! But I love Rin-chan, so everything's okay. I love her a lot! I love how brave she is! So... please, don't forget that."
Riki was glad that his body was able to keep control of the car, because his rational thought was still scattering with each additional thought. Eventually he spotted a place where he could pull in, and so signalled to do so.
"Oh, we're stopping? Riki-kun?"
Once the car was parked, Riki let his hands drop from the steering wheel, and he leant back against the seat. He let out a deep breath, and turned to Komari with a smile. "Sorry. I was surprised, you're right. I just need to think about it for a while."
"But if we take too long, Rin-chan and Kyousuke-san will wonder where we've got to--!"
"Oh, no, I don't mean--... I just needed to pause for a moment, don't worry. We'll get going in a minute." Riki stared forth out of the windscreen for a few seconds. "Congratulations!"
"Riki-kun?"
"For you and Rin! Congratulations!"
"Oh!" Komari laughed. "Thank you, Riki-kun! You'll have to be sure to tell Rin-chan the same thing when we all meet up again."
"I'll probably have to get used to it, but I think--... I suppose it's one of those things I've never really thought about. Everyone's been so intent on doing their own thing, but nothing much has really changed, has it? Even if some members of the Little Busters are far away, we still meet up... sometimes my guardians tell me they want me to find a girl and get married. Kyousuke was telling me that his parents were similar, that they've been nagging him about it. He never really seemed that concerned about it, and I never really thought about it either? Then it's like, whoa, suddenly Rin is the first member of the Little Busters to be going out with somebody? I have to admit, out of anybody, I'm not sure I'd have picked her..."
"Rin-chan and me! I'm in the Little Busters too, don't forget~!"
"Oh, of course, of course! The first union of Little Busters, then!"
"Right!" Komari leant forward, looking up towards the sky. "We don't know what's happening, though. Maybe they have found other people, out there. Maybe they've got crushes on people, or feelings they can't act on, or feelings they have acted on, but haven't told us about..." She turned back to smile at Riki, slightly sadly. "That's what growing up is like."
Again, that thought was almost too much for Riki to comprehend. Rationally, though, he knew that it made sense. Especially in the cases of Kurugaya, or Kud, they just couldn't know what was going on every single day of their lives. He hadn't even known about Komari and Rin until Komari had told him, and he saw Rin almost every day . Riki suddenly felt slightly at a loss; how were you meant to know these things? He suddenly felt rather thankful towards Komari for being so straightforward in what was going on in her life.
Riki was broken from his thoughts by the twin sounds of his phone and Komari's phone giving message notifications both at once. Komari got to her phone first, holding it up to show Riki. "Ah, it looks like Rin-chan and Kyousuke-san got there already. Rin-chan has a key, but we've got half of her things! We should probably get going... I'll send a message saying that we got stuck in traffic, and that you're still driving. Okay, Riki-kun?"
"Sure, that sounds plausible. Okay, off we go...!"
(Riki put any further thoughts of confusion to the back of his mind, making a mental note to unpack them fully once he got back to his apartment, alone.)
~~~~
That first evening after Rin had moved out, Riki wasn't quite sure what to do. The move itself had gone by without incident; they'd sorted and organised Rin's things, taken them to the appropriate rooms, made sure that nothing was missing. He and Kyousuke had driven back in their respective cars, watching from the rear-view mirror as Rin and Komari waved at them as they went. Riki noticing the way that Komari had her arm around Rin's waist, and how he wasn't sure he would even have noticed that prior to Komari's confession earlier that day.
He had tailed Kyousuke's car, and had got out alongside him on reaching Kyousuke's apartment. He wasn't too sure if that was the right thing to do, but Kyousuke hadn't chided him for it. He knew that getting used to Rin's absence was just something they'd have to get used to - and hadn't Kyousuke lived alone for a year before they'd graduated? Riki was sure that Kyousuke was quite capable of being on his own, but he still felt the need to ask, just to be sure.
"Will you be... okay?"
Kyousuke looked surprised, almost as if he wasn't sure why Riki would ask a question like that. The reasoning seemed to come to him after a moment, and he smiled gently. "I'll be fine. I'd be more worried about Rin, but then Komari is with her, so I know I don't have to worry at all. I trust Komari, so I'm sure I'll be okay. Anyway, we've done a lot today! Moved boxes, driven places, helped Rin move in... I'll be in a deep sleep tonight, I'm sure of that. As will you, I expect! So--"
"You knew about Komari and Rin, didn't--... didn't you?"
"--Huh? Komari and--... oh. Oh . Right. Yes. Yeah, I--... yeah. So Komari was the one to tell you? That makes sense."
"You didn't want to tell me?"
Kyousuke leant against his car, staring up at the dark night sky. "I felt like that should probably be Rin's decision. I think Komari felt like that too, but... Rin took her time. She kept saying to Komari and to me, can't you tell him!? and we kept refusing, but... I suppose Komari relented. That'll be a weight off of Rin's shoulders."
"Yeah, that's... more or less what Komari said."
"She's rather perceptive when it comes to Rin. I'm almost jealous!"
"Do you... think it's weird...?"
"Weird? Oh, of course I do. My younger sister is in a relationship, now. That's a huge thing for an older brother to come to terms with--! Do you even know how difficult that is, Riki?! It's so difficult...! But, it's Komari, so I'm lucky. Anybody else, and I wouldn't let them have her! But because it's Komari, I don't have to worry. Like I said, I trust her - I'm absolutely sure that, for Komari, Rin is more precious that words can express. I'm not too sure there are many other people who could prove themselves to me the way she has! But Rin... she'll be okay. I'll be okay, too. And, you know, if Komari can help Rin find a job, that'll be great too..."
"Do you--..." Riki felt conscious that he was asking something strange. "Do you think any of the... the others have found anybody...?"
Kyousuke simply shrugged. "The others? Maybe. Who knows? They'll tell us if they're comfortable in doing so. Until that point, you can't really say that it's any of our business."
Riki couldn't deny the logic in that statement. That's Kyousuke; he always knows the right things to say. And beyond that, there wasn't much more to say - they said their goodbyes, and Riki watched Kyousuke leave into the apartment complex. He still wasn't sure that he'd said everything that he wanted to say, but there wasn't anything that could be done about that at that moment. Thoughts still jumbled, Riki went back to his car, and, eventually, back to his own apartment.
~~~~
It doesn't change anything.
Riki found himself thinking over Komari's words a lot in the time that followed. His thoughts caught on that concept, it doesn't change anything. Nothing's changed. Would this be any different if I hadn't known before Rin had moved away? The thought of Rin and Komari living together as friends had seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Hadn't that been what Komari had said? That the relationship between she and Rin had felt natural . To an extent, Riki understood it; Komari was certainly - and always had been - Rin's closest female friends out of all of the Little Busters. Maybe her closest friend full-stop? He thought about that, and about what Kyousuke had said, that she was perceptive . She understands Rin more than anybody, so-- . (Riki wasn't sure that he understood anything about the situation.)
He knew that Rin had told her parents about her moving in with Komari. Had she told them of her relationship? He wasn't sure. The Natsume parents seemed unhelpful at the best of times, Riki wasn't too sure how they would react to their daughter being in a relationship with another girl . Although, Kyousuke had said that they'd practically given up on her - perhaps being in a relationship with a girl was better than being in no relationship at all? But then, parents expected marriage, and children, and--.
Riki remembered the mad dash to prevent Kanata's marriage, all that time ago. It certainly felt like a long time ago, at least; back then, at school . Thinking back on it, it felt even more overwhelming than it had at the time - it had been shocking, certainly, and Haruka had been so determined to stop it, and so they'd all gone along with it. In retrospect, the thought of being still in school and marked off for marriage felt like an alien concept to Riki, although many practices of the Futaki family felt beyond Riki's perception. How had Kanata felt, at that time? Riki wondered if his own parents would ever do something similar. Would the Natsume family do anything similar? Perhaps not with Rin. Maybe with Kyousuke? If years were to go by, and he was still going on as he ever had, at his own pace and by himself...
Time passed, and the situation normalised. Rin and Komari would often visit, lessening the impact of Rin's absence. Knowing that both Riki and Kyousuke knew of her relationship status with Komari, Rin seemed more at-ease in the group situations, sometimes even initiating physical contact with Komari. Like usual, sometimes Masato would visit. Sometimes Kengo would visit. And nothing had changed , but Riki would look at them with that thought in mind, that ball rolling in his mind that Komari had set in motion.
Is there anybody that Masato likes? Is there anybody that Kengo likes? What if they came by one day and suddenly said that they were in relationships? If they suddenly announced that they were going to get married to people we'd never met before? The thought was a strange one, but Kyousuke's words also chimed in his head. Maybe they've found somebody. Maybe they're waiting for the right time to say something about it. It's none of my business.
Weeknights went by much as they had previously, with Riki still picking up things at the supermarket in order to help Kyousuke with the evening meals. He was halfway along the vegetables when he got a message from Kyousuke.
" pick me up later? drinking is happening. a LOT of drinking. "
Riki smiled to himself as he put his phone away, knowing that he'd have to keep an ear out for Kyousuke's next message.
As it was, the space between Kyousuke's messages gave Riki enough time to go home, wash, change, and sort out which of the groceries he was going to take to Kyousuke's apartment. There wasn't any point in going there until Kyousuke was around to open the doors, but Riki was still somewhat surprised at the length of time that had passed. Not least given the content of that initial message - if that much drinking had been happening then , then what state was Kyousuke going to be in when he was ready to be picked up?
As it turned out, Kyousuke was about at the level where Riki would have been worried for him getting home by himself, but still coherent and upright. That's something . Kyousuke gave a jaunty salute to his dispersing co-workers, and tumbled into the passenger seat.
"... Yer so useful, Riki."
"Thanks. What, I'm meant to leave you to walk home? Not happening."
"See? Useful ! Useful." Kyousuke took a deep breath. "I drank so much, Riki."
"Well, tell me if you're going to throw up and let me stop the car, first."
"Nahh. Gonna be okay. I can handle my alcohol--! Don't worry, Riki--!"
"Okay, okay, I won't, I won't."
"Gonna be hell tomorrow mornin' though. Ughh, I don't even want to think about it."
Riki started the car, checking that it was safe to pull out as Kyousuke nestled into the seat beside him. "Just make sure you drink a lot of water, and you should be fine."
"Gonna haveta be a lot of water. A lot ."
The drive home was short, and relatively quiet. Nonetheless, Riki couldn't help but think the same thing that usually floated across his mind when this happened - the leader of the Little Busters is like this, huh? He knew he had no room to speak on the subject, given how drunk he'd sometimes been in the past. There was a reason why they called it social lubricant, wasn't there? Any organisation up and down the country probably faced the same practices. Riki made a mental note to warn Rin of such things for when she found employment (although felt that her experience with Kyousuke coming home drunk those past times had probably given her warning enough). None of them had thought of this back in the past, had they? That getting drunk would be an almost expected part of the adult world, and that Kyousuke was part of that as much as anyone, and that sometimes he'd need help getting home...
Kyousuke had his eyes closed as they pulled up to the apartment parking. Riki glanced over at him, wondering if he'd fallen asleep already. "Kyousuke? Kyousuke. Oi." He pushed at him gently with one hand. "Kyousuke."
"People at your work kept sayin' Rin was your girlfriend, right?"
"Huh? Uh--... y-yeah, I guess they did say that..."
"I got that too. Got mad, said it was my sister, nobody says that 'nymore. Shoulda made up something like that for you! Brother or cousin or somethin'. They keep asking me who you are! I say that you're my friend! They're all like heh heh boyfriend ? and you can't shut them up, you just can't..."
Riki paused in the middle of undoing his seatbelt. "B-boyfriend?!"
"Always gotta be somethin'. Office needs gossip."
"...Wha--... what do you say, when they say that?"
"The truth, of course! What else? You think if I agreed with them it'd shut them up?!... There's an idea..."
"N-no, no, no, I meant--... nevermind." Riki marked an end to that line of the conversation by exiting the car, then going around to Kyousuke's side and opening the door for him. "Are you okay to get out?"
"Kinda comfy here, to be honest."
"What? No, you're not falling asleep in my car." Riki waited for a few seconds to see if Kyousuke was going to respond to that. Apparently not . Riki sighed, leaning in and across to unfasten Kyousuke's own seatbelt. In that moment, he could smell the smoke from the bar that clung to his clothes, the scent of alcohol on his breath-- that was enough to spur a sense memory of Riki's own nights spent in bars, with co-workers, drinking but trying not to get too drunk, because if he did, that might be a problem for Kyousuke--
Riki stood back quickly, "C'mon. You need to get to bed. Or at least to your kitchen, so you can drink water, and then to bed." Riki felt a faint warmth that almost felt like that first touch of alcohol, but reminded himself that he hadn't had any himself in weeks up to that point. Kyousuke was looking at him and not moving--... but then he smiled, and made his way out of the car as best as he could. He steadied himself against the vehicle, then going to his pockets for his keys. Once he found them, he brandished them proudly, and then headed off - somewhat unsteadily - towards the front door of the apartment complex. Riki quickly locked the car, and followed off after him.
Kyousuke was stepping into the elevator as Riki entered the building. He kept the door open for Riki, and then leant back against the mirrored wall of the elevator's interior. The doors closed, and Kyousuke sighed deeply. Riki looked up to him, and noticed that he'd closed his eyes again.
The elevator didn't move. Riki looked between Kyousuke and the panel of numbers, and made to reach for it before having second thoughts, instead leaning back against the wall alongside Kyousuke. It was rather late - was anybody else likely to use the elevator at that time of the night? Riki wasn't too sure he knew exactly what he was doing. The objective was to get Kyousuke back to his apartment and in some way protected against the looming threat of a giant hangover, and yet there they were, in the unmoving elevator. What am I doing? (Riki could feel Kyousuke's arm against his, the thin work shirt he wore doing little to prevent the communication of heat between them.)
Kyousuke opened his eyes in a drowsy manner, rubbing his palm across his forehead and loosening his tie. He looked down at Riki with some confusion. "We not got there yet? It's hot in here."
"Oh! Uh, uh, right, uh..." Riki almost dived for the number panel, punching in the correct code to take them to Kyousuke's floor.
"You didn't even press the buttons yet?" Kyousuke chuckled, pulling his tie off completely. "Thought I was the drunk one around here." (Riki kept silent, hoping that lack of an answer would prevent Kyousuke from asking further questions.)
After what felt like an interminably long time, the elevator pinged its destination. The doors opened, and Kyousuke laboriously pushed himself away from the mirror wall and towards the doors, going to his pockets to find his keys. Riki trailed behind him, ready to move in case Kyousuke had any problems, but after a few attempts he was able to open the front door to his apartment. He walked inside as if his whole body was heavy, making his way laboriously over to the couch in front of the television. He lay sprawled across it, and seemed intent on not moving; Riki closed the door behind the two of them, and went to the kitchen for as much water as he could carry back to where Kyousuke lay.
Kyousuke only stirred when Riki returned with a pitcher and glass, both full of water. He placed the pitcher on the low table in front of Kyousuke, and held the glass at eye-level. "Here. Start drinking."
"You know... I was thinkin'." Kyousuke took the glass of water, albeit reluctantly. He didn't start drinking it.
"About what?"
"It's always--... s'always either you coming to get me after work drinkin', or me comin' to get you... all this drinkin' and we've never gone drinkin' together, have we?"
"Uhh... n-no, I guess not..."
Kyousuke placed the glass down on the table next to the pitcher, and pushed himself up from the couch. At the back of the room lay several display cabinets (with pictures from their shared childhood, pictures of Rin, and group photos of the Little Busters all on show) with closed sections at the bottom. Kyousuke fell to a kneel and opened up one of the cabinets; Riki had taken a seat on the couch and couldn't see what he'd retrieved until he held it up for Riki's benefit. Riki didn't recognise the name on the label, but felt that he knew enough about alcohol to make an educated guess on what the bottle contained.
"Is--... is that whisky?! Kyousuke, no-- what were you drinking at that bar, anyway? It couldn't have been that strong--"
"Right? Spendin' hours drinking all that weak stuff. This is the good stuff! Got it as a work present for doing good."
"That's great, Kyousuke. Um, so--" (Kyousuke already had the cap off and was pouring some into a glass.)
"Oh, you gotta have ice for it to be on the rocks, right. Wish I could say I had one of those fancy ice-shapers, but that's not happening. Fine with taking it straight? Might be better that way. I can get ice in for the next time! Remind me later."
"I'm still not sure--... I've still got to drive home after this, don't forget--!"
"Stay the night."
"Eh?"
"It's the weekend, right? Don't have to go into work tomorrow. So, stay here and drink a while longer with me! Gotta be more fun than keeping them all entertained back at the office drinks party." Kyousuke placed the glass of honey-coloured liquid in front of where Riki sat on the couch, before pouring himself his own glass. Riki looked between his drink and Kyousuke's with some level of concern, but Kyousuke was already drinking from his glass.
"... If you drink too much more you're really going to make yourself ill, you know." Despite himself, Riki brought the glass to his lips and swallowed a small amount of the alcohol. He couldn't help shuddering at the strong taste and the burning sensation - it wasn't that he'd never had whisky before, but he could certainly count the amount of times he'd had it on the fingers of one hand. He wondered if it was through atmosphere alone that he could feel his cheeks flushing - the alcohol's fumes alone were strong, but that strong? He held his glass between his two hands, glancing over at Kyousuke. "So, uh... I guess it's easier to do this when Rin's not around, huh..."
Kyousuke swirled the whisky around his glass. "I guess... probably why all the alcohol back there's gone by untouched. Makes me feel like a bad brother if I drink too much around her, you know? Can't help it when it's for work, though." He took another swallow of the drink. "Didn't really think this through. But now I am thinking about it, wouldn't it be great if everyone was here?! We could have a big party and invite everyone! Get everyone together at once! We could have another pancake party. I'd get enough alcohol in for everyone. Wouldn't it be great?!"
"That would definitely be, uh, an experience..."
"C'mon, Riki, you're not drinking...? Is it too strong for you?" There wasn't a trace of mockery in his voice, just genuine concern. "You don't haveta drink it if you don't wanna."
"Just feels weird, that's all. You said it yourself, usually either I'm the drunk one and you're the sober one, or you're the drunk one and I'm the sober one - who's meant to be the sober one if we're both drunk!?"
"That's the point? At least drink enough to get a little floaty. Just that much?"
In retrospect, Riki supposed that Kyousuke didn't mean 'drink the glass of whisky as fast as he physically could', but once it was done, it was done. Kyousuke raised an eyebrow and held up the bottle. "Ready for more?"
Riki held one hand over the top of his glass, "N-no, no, that's, that's probably enough, I'm sure..."
Kyousuke respected his wishes, screwing the cap back on the bottle and placing it to the side. He grinned and held up his own half-full glass to Riki, before drinking more of it himself.
Drinking the whisky caused a warmth to spread through Riki, although he was sure that he wouldn't start to feel drunk that quickly. That said, the sources of intoxication were not from his glass alone; he couldn't stop watching Kyousuke as he drank from his glass, watching him and wondering . What were all those staff drinking sessions like? He knew his own, of course, but that was so different to be of no comparison. He knew Kyousuke drunk at the end of the night when he was ready to go home (tonight being that exception, apparently), but how did those evenings progress? Kyousuke never spoke too much of his working day (always saying it's boring, you wouldn't be interested ). Riki could picture him easily as the office joker type - although Kyousuke did take his work seriously, he knew that much. Would he let that impulse out after work hours? Perhaps he kept it all in, and didn't show that side of him to his co-workers at all. (Riki wasn't sure he could picture that.)
Again, he felt that one sentiment from Komari unhelpfully nudge into his thoughts. Any of the Little Busters could be doing anything, right now. Kyousuke could be entirely different at work. Rin might be entirely different with Komari. How would I ever know? Riki wasn't sure he ever felt 'different' - whether he was at home alone, at work, or spending time with other members of the group, he didn't feel particularly conscious of any different sides of himself making themselves known. He supposed that he wouldn't play around with his friends from university in quite the same way he might with other members of the Little Busters, but that was normal, wasn't it? (The more extreme forms of 'playing around' were usually instigated by Kyousuke, Masato, Kurugaya or Haruka - if they were playing around then he would usually play along , but...)
"You're lookin' pretty thoughtful there, Riki."
"Ah--? Ah, y-yeah... no, I--... I was just thinking, that's all."
"About anythin' in particular?"
Riki wasn't quite sure how to express his feelings in words, but that didn't stop his mouth from attempting it. "Komari-san was saying, a little while ago... it's like--... it's... difficult, I think, to know what people are doing...? People could be doing anything--! You'd never know if they didn't say anything!"
Kyousuke listened as Riki spoke, smiling into his glass. Draining the last, he reached for the bottle and opened it, filling only Riki's glass this time. (Riki didn't seem to notice the discrepancy.) "Can't fault her logic. How would anybody ever understand anything if we didn't communicate what we were feeling?"
"... I didn't know about Rin and Komari-san."
"That's still eating at you? Look, Riki." Kyousuke placed his hand on Riki's shoulder. "That's just how Rin is, you should know that--! She finds it hard to say the things she wants to say even when she wants to say them, let alone when she isn't sure about them. It was a big thing for her to deal with! There's all sortsa things going on there. First love, first requited love, first time you're taking a relationship 'public' - even if that is just to your brother and his friends... oh, and they're both girls, so, that's probably difficult, too. Probably took a while for Rin to realise that was even possible. I think Komari had to tell her. Ended up fine though, didn't it? They're both on a learning curve."
Taking his glass once more, Riki rubbed his thumb against the glass before taking another drink. "Have--... uh..."
"Hm?"
"... Have you ever, uh... w-with... with someone else..."
"That sentence was missing a few vital parts but I think I know what you're asking."
The silence that followed was enough to send an unsure tremor to the pit of Riki's stomach. "... S-so...?"
Kyousuke made a dismissive gesture. "Just a few misjudged moments at work. You've seen how drunk people there get, right? It might not look it, but I'm pretty careful how much I drink these days--! There were some days early on where it got a bit, you know, handsy. A bit mouths-y. A bit tongues-y. Sometimes. In the moment you're like, yeah, this seems like a great idea! This other person really seems to think it's a great idea! There is absolutely nothing about this that isn't a great idea--!... And then you kinda remember it afterwards like, oh, no, that wasn't a good idea at all ."
"Doesn't that... make things awkward...?"
A shrug. "I think it's kinda, what happens at the works drinks outings stays at the works drinks outings. Maybe they get too drunk to remember. Maybe they're pulling my strategy - pretending they're too drunk to remember and never telling anybody ever . Especially not the people it happened with. No, that... yeah, that would probably make things awkward. I've never forgotten anything that happened those times, but I'm never letting them know that."
Riki gazed at his glass again. "... I've never had anything like that happen. ...Probably for the best, huh."
"Probably."
"I--..."
"Yes...?"
"N-no, it's nothing." (The fuzzy part of Riki's perception wanted to be questioned again, but Kyousuke remained silent. In light of that, he continued.) "... I have weird dreams, sometimes."
"I think everyone has those ."
"N-no, I mean--... I have--... I have a lot of dreams where I'm dating the girls. From the group, I mean. From the Little Busters."
If Riki had been paying full attention to Kyousuke's expression, he might have thought that that was the most sober Kyousuke had looked all night. As it was, he didn't notice. "... Oh, really?"
The process of drinking the whisky was mildly unpleasant, but the warmth it caused was rather agreeable. Like falling into static. Riki took another drink before nodding. "Always really vivid dreams. Almost like--... almost like there was a story there, like the dream was telling me something, but when I wake up, I can barely remember it. Like I wake up feeling that I felt something, but even that, I don't remember that. So I'm just left there thinking that I dreamt about Komari-san or Kurugaya-san or any of the others, but I don't remember much more about it. Feels so vivid, but the feeling that it was vivid is all that's left. Do you ever get that? You wake up from a dream feeling sad, and you don't even remember why?"
"... Sometimes."
"I wonder if dreaming about them all that much means I have feelings for them? Or I want to date them?" Another drink. "I think that's... probably not true, though? I feel so weird after those dreams. It's not a good feeling."
Kyousuke tilted his glass in a jaunty fashion, in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Ever dream about me?"
That's a good point . "I'm--... not sure I have, actually."
"Damn. Thought I could have got some juicy dream gossip from you, there."
Somewhere amongst the tipsy feeling, that almost felt significant. "Why--... why do you think that is...? What do you think would happen if I had a dream about you?"
"What, if you had a dream where we were dating? I don't know. Would anything have to happen?"
Again, somewhere between the static, that definitely felt significant. The more Riki had had those dreams, the more unsettled he'd felt by them. As if the message that they communicated was directly opposite to their content - thinking about fragments of scenarios his subconscious had left him, feeling uncomfortable about them (sometimes for days afterward).
And Kyousuke? Riki wasn't sure he could make a direct comparison. He could barely remember the dreams he had to begin with, let alone try to make a fiction based on an entirely new concept. ( And yet. ) Something there felt familiar, too. Different to those other dreams, but--... did I dream about Kyousuke ? Almost without realising that he was staring directly at Kyousuke, Riki couldn't take his eyes away. There was something there, wasn't there? Something . Some fragment of feeling. Like waking up from a dream, and not being able to remember--.
Kyousuke remained in place as Riki left his drink to the side, as he shifted on the couch to move across to where Kyousuke was spread out against the corner cushion. Just for a moment, there was something-- .
"You... wanted to--... be with us forever... right?"
Any trace of inebriation seemed to have left Kyousuke, not that Riki was aware of that. "Riki, you--..."
"I don't--... get it... I have all these thoughts, like dreams, things that I remember... I think...? I think of the girls, and it makes me sad. I think of you, Kyousuke, and it feels--... it feels so sad... like you might go somewhere, or--..."
Of course, the immediate thought was one that lay in a sequence that Riki was never sure if he wanted to remember or to forget. The accident. Finding Kyousuke. Rescuing Kyousuke-- . Even close to the time, Kyousuke had told them not to dwell on the things that could have gone wrong, but there seemed to be so many things that could have gone wrong - and only a narrow range of actions which could have gone right - that Riki couldn't help himself. It was almost easy to forget the sensation of unadulterated fear from back then, thinking of it as back then , some nightmare sequence amongst all of those dreams. That was years ago, and felt like a lifetime away. These days were calm and predictable, weren't they? They would eat dinner with Rin. Invite Komari over. See Masato and Kengo at the weekends. Go drinking with colleagues, ask the other to assist. They went to work, went shopping, came home, slept. All of those simple and comforting things that lay in such stark contrast to back then --.
Saying things like 'dating' and 'going out' didn't feel like anything near enough. The group of the Little Busters was spread out across the country (and further afield), but it was still something unbreakable that remained in Riki's heart. And Kyousuke had declared Riki the new leader of the Little Busters, but that never meant that Riki stopped looking up to him. And there was the accident, and the time that Kyousuke had spent in hospital, and it had felt like so long . Their days were domestic now, but that was a kind of peace earned from the fear of that time. Riki gravitated towards Kyousuke because he couldn't stop himself. Because we came so close to--
"Kyou--... suke..." Riki was practically pinning Kyousuke against the couch cushions, although Kyousuke was in no way trying to escape. He watched Riki's face as if unsure, bringing his fingers up to touch Riki's cheek. He didn't seem to flinch from that - he didn't seem to react at all, his stare was so intense. Kyousuke took that risk, and cupped Riki's face in his hand.
"Riki--... those... those dreams that you have, they--..."
Riki pressed his face to Kyousuke's shoulder. "Don't get married."
Kyousuke paused, unsure as to what that statement had to do with anything. "... What?"
"... You keep nearly--... nearly going places. You're... you're always ahead of us. Reaching high school. Graduating. Getting a job. You're always--... hard to reach. And the accident, that was--"
"Riki, don't--"
"-- You almost went somewhere completely unreachable, then."
"You brought me back, though."
"... Even Rin and Komari-san feel like they're somewhere mysterious. Like they've learnt a secret. What if your parents pushed you into an arranged marriage?!"
Kyousuke relaxed somewhat. "I don't think that's likely." He moved his hand to stroke the back of Riki's head, running fingers through his hair.
The action was soft, but Riki still felt frustrated. His thoughts were jumbled - had the alcohol affected him that strongly? He suddenly felt like crying against Kyousuke's shoulder, almost out of that frustration than out of sadness. It wasn't that the words he'd spoken hadn't been true - he'd managed to communicate them, so why did he still feel like something was missing? ( Maybe this was why Rin was nervous all that time. )
He lifted his head up from Kyousuke's shoulder, looking down at him. What more was there?!
-- it felt like the most natural thing--
"K--... Kyousuke...?"
"Mm?"
"I love you and I don't want you to go anywhere."
Kyousuke just smiled, drawing Riki's face closer. "Good thing I don't plan on going anywhere then, isn't it?"
Riki still felt the intoxication from the alcohol, but didn't feel that he was so far gone that kissing Kyousuke felt like something completely out of left field. It seemed like a good idea--... Kyousuke also seemed to think so, didn't he? All sorts of thoughts threatened to tumble into Riki's conscious thought, but it was hard to concentrate on much at all other than suddenly feeling very aware of just how Kyousuke was positioned beneath him. He was sprawled across Kyousuke in no uncertain manner, and they were kissing , and Kyousuke's own movements were gentle, but where their bodies touched, it felt so warm . Kyousuke's hand was against his cheek again, and Riki barely knew how to react. There was heat there, but not from the alcohol. He felt light-headed, but it was impossible to pin that down to any particular source.
He broke away from Kyousuke's lips, his breathing heavy. "Kyousuke, I--..."
"... There's Rin's old room. ...We don't have to do anything. You don't have to do anything. We're drunk, remember?" Kyousuke smiled, almost sadly. "Maybe you're one of those people who forgets everything that happened when you were drunk...? Maybe this is just one of those dreams. You can wake up and forget--"
Riki took Kyousuke's wrists in a surprisingly possessive gesture. "I don't want that."
"... Then you'll have to keep reminding me."
"Huh...?"
"When you wake up, tell me again. And after that. Enough times so that you don't think you'll ever forget."
"What about you, though...?"
"Didn't I say already, that I don't forget things that happened when I'm drunk?" He shifted out from under Riki's hold somewhat, pulling the pitcher of water closer to the two of them. "Now. I think we've both got a lot of water to drink, don't you?"
~~~~
Riki sat in Kyousuke's kitchen, staring blankly across to the window opposite. He'd woken before Kyousuke, and had made himself a cup of coffee. It felt too early too be awake and his head still throbbed from the force of the alcohol he'd had the night before, but that was the last thing on his mind.
I told Kyousuke I loved him.
I said all of those things.
Oh god.
The coffee lay untouched on the table in front of him, as if he'd forgotten it. The scent of coffee was, however, apparently enough to stir Kyousuke himself; he came through from the bedroom with almost a panicked expression, but calmed on seeing Riki sat at the table.
"Oh! Riki! You're still here! I thought you went home early, or something. Don't do that--!"
"I--... Kyousuke, I--..."
Kyousuke was looking ruffled from just having got out of bed, his nightshirt open over his chest and his hair unbrushed. He smiled as he leant against the doorframe. "Yes...?"
"I--..."
"Mmm...?"
"... I've got a hangover."
Kyousuke chuckled as he went over to the sink. "Sounds like someone didn't drink enough water last night." He filled a glass and brought it over. "Here."
"Thanks. ...Uh, about--"
"'About last night'?"
"... Yeah."
"What about it?"
Riki looked up at Kyousuke. He didn't want to look away. "I meant everything I said. I'm not someone who forgets things just because they got drunk."
"Yeah? Cool." Kyousuke ruffled Riki's hair before sitting down in the chair opposite to him. "Here's a secret: I love you, too."
"Ah-- huh!?"
Kyousuke's grin was unmatched. "I'll keep saying it, so you don't forget. Or did you forget that part already?"
"Can it wait until I'm not so hungover?"
"Spoilsport."
There was silence as Riki gingerly tended to his water. Kyousuke leant forward against the table, his chin against one curled fist. "... I was thinking about it, though. What you said. ...I know you were surprised by Rin and Komari. Maybe you'll tell the others about us, and they'll be surprised!" (Riki sputtered.) "Maybe everyone's got secrets, you just don't know. ...But what I do know is, we're all still the Little Busters. Maybe that's not everything we are anymore, but it's still definitely part of what we are. Everything we are is a part of us, right? Parts of us we show ourselves, parts of us that we don't... just, being the Little Busters means that we always have that potential to tell each other. We always have that potential to know . Because we're the Little Busters, and first and foremost, because we're friends . Right?... Or is it too early for that sort of thing?"
Riki swallowed the last of his water, and then smiled. "I think I get it."
"That's good. I wouldn't want you worrying too much about that sort of thing. Though if you are worried, talk to someone! If it's you, I'm sure anybody will listen. Even Rin."
"I know."
Kyousuke placed his palms flat against the table, as if signalling a change in the conversation. "So! When do you want to move in?"
"Ah-- huh!?"
"I've got this spare bedroom going. Dual income would be pretty great. You live, like, what, ten minutes in that direction? Think of the financial advantages--! Of course, if you want to keep your independence, that's fine too. That's an important thing! But, like I said. Spare bedroom."
From the suggestion alone, Riki couldn't help but think that it did sound like a good idea... he smiled at Kyousuke, "...I'll think about it."
"That's fine." Kyousuke grinned back in return. "No rush."