Work Text:
I.
Jake Seresin had liked to sing since he was old enough to talk. He would often join his mother in the kitchen, and they would sing together to her favorite country songs. He would fool around with his older sister, screaming along with her lyrics to the songs of her latest boyband addiction. When he is old enough, he joins the children's choir and spends his afternoons at the local church singing his lungs out.
He does all of that without his father knowing. He often hears him say Jake’s acting like a girl, too caring, too soft, not like a Seresin boy. And singing isn’t something his father would consider a manly hobby. To appease him a little bit, Jake simultaneously joins the swimming team.
Lisa Whittley’s seventh birthday party falls on a sunny Saturday afternoon in the middle of May. Jake’s excited to go mainly because all his friends from their little choir are going to be there too, and they are preparing a cute performance of "Happy Birthday" to sing while Lisa blows out the candles on the cake. His dad doesn’t even have to know Jake’s going to be there, as he will be out of town, says his mother.
This is why Jake’s not afraid to stand in front while he sings loudly and with a smile on his face. But as the song is reaching its climax, everything goes to shit. While he sings the last verse, he locks eyes with his father, who is standing with Jake’s mother and Lisa’s parents right next to the birthday girl.
His father doesn’t react right away; in fact, he ignores Jake for the rest of the party. The ride home a few hours later is quiet, which only makes Jake more nervous. He hopes his latest win at the swimming contest could alleviate the impact. His father had looked proud when Jake presented the gold medal last week. So his father might let this thing go.
He couldn’t be farther from the truth. That night is the first time Jake’s father raises his hand to his son. Jake goes to sleep with tears still streaming down his face and the knowledge he will never join his friends at another singing practice.
II.
Jake is 16 years old when he realizes he’s gay. He’s not happy about it. He knows it’s just another thing his father would hate about him, should he ever find out. So he does everything in his power to act according to his father’s expectations. He goes out with girls his parents would approve of. He continues as a captain of the swimming team. He is a star student on his way to getting a full scholarship to the University of Texas, like his father before him.
However, in the dead of the night, he dreams of Tyler Hopkins. Of the way he looks at Jake across a locker room after practice. Of the way their hands not-so-accidentally touch when they pass each other in the school hallway. And especially of their near kiss last week when they thought everybody left after the afternoon practice.
In retrospect, Jake should have known it wasn’t a good idea to sneak inside the house while everybody had been celebrating the birthday of yet another swimmer friend outside. But the temptation has been too great. So after singing the obligatory "Happy Birthday" and taking a piece of cake Jake doesn’t intend to eat, he grabs Tyler’s hand and leads him to the living room, out of sight of their teammates.
Both of them, too engrossed with each other, with the way their lips move together, don't hear the footsteps in the kitchen coming closer to their hiding spot. Jake doesn’t know who has seen them first. In the end, it doesn't even matter. A word about two boys kissing travels fast, and Jake’s not surprised it reaches as far as his father. He gets another beating and doesn’t see Tyler Hopkins ever again.
III.
When Jake meets Javy Machado on his first day at the Naval Academy, he falls a little bit in love, even if it’s just platonic love. Javy is strong, confident and doesn’t give up on Jake, even if he is likely the least amicable person at the whole Academy. Javy sticks by him those whole four years they spend together as roommates, and slowly Jake starts to open up to him. He’s the first person Jake tells about Tyler and how signing up for the Navy has been the only way to get away from his abusive father. How he doesn’t make friends easily because every person he’s ever considered a friend betrayed him the moment they found out he’s gay.
Javy follows Jake to Pensacola, the two of them sharing their dream of taking to the skies. They become each other's rock, always there for one another. When their journey continues to Corpus Christi, the first time back in Texas for Jake, Javy’s there to make sure Jake stays on track and doesn’t let the memories of his early days in his home state lead him astray.
Javy’s there when Jake meets Bradley Bradshaw for the first time. In a dive bar just outside the base, Bradley Bradshaw sits at the piano and sings without caring what everybody around thinks. Jake is a goner right away. Javy lets him leave with Bradshaw that night and wonders for the next few years if it was the biggest mistake of his life.
Jake is there when Javy’s father dies in a car accident, leaving his wife and four children behind. He’s there for him when they leave the flight training for a week to attend the funeral.
He’s there for him on his first birthday after his father’s death. Just the two of them, Jake quietly singing "Happy Birthday" to Javy in the darkness of their shared room, just days before completing their training.
It’s two days later when they get their first assignments on the other side of the world. They don’t see each other for a long eighteen months, and both are different people when they meet again.
IV.
Jake is used to being alone. He really is. His callsign is a testament to that. But he likes his current squadron. No one comes as close to him as Javy has right at the beginning of this journey in the Navy, but he likes to think they all have more or less a decent relationship with each other. After nine long months together on one carrier, Jake’s not afraid to admit he sometimes enjoys the company of his colleagues.
Their last mission before heading back home is keeping them busy, so they welcome every chance to unwind a little bit. And what better opportunity than a birthday party for Jake’s wingman? They might have limited resources, but Jake’s southern charm manages to win them one cupcake from the kitchen to use as a makeshift cake.
They all have to be up bright and early the next morning, so it’s not a wild party. But the promise of getting together when they finally get off the carrier keeps them in check. They manage to do a pretty decent version of "Happy Birthday," and Jake could swear there are actual tears in his wingman’s eyes when they present him the cupcake while belting the song.
Jake finally feels like he belongs somewhere. So he should know that it never lasts for him.
Their last mission, a routine flight over without any possible danger, goes to shit right from the start. It's so fast that Jake’s not able to tell what’s actually happened. In one moment he’s joking over the comms with the others, and the next he sees his wingman go down in a ball of fire. The only thing he can do is lock the enemy plane and take a shot. But it won’t bring his wingman, his friend, back.
He gets back to the carrier on autopilot, jumping off his jet promptly and emptying his stomach over the railing into the ocean.
V.
Jake manages to forget about Bradley Bradshaw after leaving Corpus Christi. That’s not completely true. Sometimes, especially after getting his first air-to-air kill, he dreams of the warmth and steadiness of Bradley’s arms around him. They’d been both young when they met for the first time. Jake’s still been too focused on his goal of becoming the best of the best to really consider exploring what they’ve had together.
That was more than two years ago. Jake likes to think he has grown up in the meantime. Got a little bit harder, sharper, and even more closed off. That happens when someone you consider a friend dies right before your eyes.
But Bradley isn’t exactly a stranger. They had good times together, they understood each other. And Jake is so fucking tired of being alone. So when Bradley shows up at Lemoore one late afternoon with his squadron, Jake thinks it’s fate.
So on the evenings out, he joins Bradley by the piano and, after so many years, finally sings again. His quips turn from vicious to more friendly, flirty even. And Bradley plays that game with him. Before they know it, they are living together, going steady, and Jake is so close to saying those words to Bradley that he thinks he might burst.
As much as Bradley likes the attention, Jake realizes he is a pretty private person. There are signs it might not work out in the end, both of them having their own secrets and not really comfortable talking about their past traumas and feelings. But Jake’s not ready to give up on them. He feels this is something worth fighting for, and he just hopes Bradley feels the same.
He finally comes clean on the morning of Bradley’s thirtieth birthday. He brings him the cake he managed to bake the night before, he sings him a sweet rendition of "Happy Birthday", and he ends it by saying those words he has kept inside for so long. Jake doesn’t take it too personally when Bradley doesn’t say he loves him back. It’s okay. Jake knows how hard it is to express those feelings. Bradley just needs a little bit more time.
It takes Bradley exactly a week to break, and it doesn’t end well. They both end up saying things they don’t mean. Too cruel, with the intention to hurt.
Bradley and his squadron are leaving in another week's time anyway, so it’s not like Jake will have to keep seeing him on base. In fact, they won’t see each other for another 4 years, both with the same regret in their parting words.
(+I.)
Jake’s still not sure how they’ve managed to pull it off. The mission success, all of them alive and well.
It's a quiet Tuesday night at the Hard Deck, and it is nearing midnight, so, unsurprisingly, there is no one else but the Daggers. Celebrating for the last time together before they go their separate ways in the morning. Jake turns around in his seat at the bar and looks around. He could feel the same way as with his old squadron, right before the death of his wingman, if he let himself. The feeling of desperately wanting to belong somewhere.
But he knows he's been acting like a dick during the training. He's not part of the squad; the others surely just tolerate him now because he's saved Mav and Rooster from certain death. The only person who is content with his company is Javy, right now sitting next to him at the bar and handing Jake a glass of whiskey.
"It's after midnight already," Javy points out, tilting his glass in Jake's direction.
"Happy fucking birthday to me," comes Jake's sarcastic reply, and they clink their glasses together in toasting. Jake's not looking forward to his birthday, knowing he will spend the day alone as everybody's eager to start their leave. But he's used to that. Being alone. Nothing new for him.
Javy slightly nods; Jake's not sure at what. He doesn't really care as he empties his glass and stands up, ready to leave.
Right as he's pulling on his jacket, he notices the surrounding silence. He turns around, looking for the others, when he hears the first tone from the piano. They are all standing there, apart from him and Javy, who steps up next to Jake, gently pushing him toward the piano.
As the familiar tune starts to play, and they all start to sing, slightly off-beat and just a little bit pitchy, Jake realizes what's happening. And even if by chance he hasn't figured it out yet, Natasha steps from behind everybody with a cake covered in thirty burning candles, and Jake can't help the tears that are gathering in his eyes.
He can't remember the last time somebody did something so thoughtful for him. He must look a little crazy, standing there just quietly observing these people, whom he thought hated him, all singing "Happy Birthday" to him with bright smiles on their faces.
As the song comes to an end and Bradley's fingers leave the piano, Natasha is right in front of him, telling him to make a wish. Jake can only think of one thing that could make this moment even more perfect, and he slightly leans forward to blow the candles off while making eye contact with Bradley.
And when the cake is cut and everybody has managed to hug him, wishing him a happy birthday and all that, Bradley finally makes his way to him.
"Happy birthday, Jake." He stares at him with such a hopeful look in his beautiful chocolate eyes that Jake might think his birthday wish could come true.