Chapter Text
It's that time of year again, the one with all of the lovey-dovey crap all over the place.
Every year, Midgar was covered in pinks, reds, and whites because of this day. Ribbons, hearts, and romance were all pushed on the city because of it.
At first, Cloud wasn't bothered by it. But after four years of living in the city and becoming a SOLDIER, it was getting annoying how stores pushed their products "for your special someone". Even when he was roaming around the upper sectors, from Sector 1 to Sector 8, he saw nothing but those colors. Even Loveless Avenue wasn't spared. Then there were couples at every turn, restaurants, and theaters constantly packed with people, and street stalls full of stuffed animals, chocolates, and jewelry. It almost made him sick how so many people bothered themselves with this shit.
But then he would be a hypocrite. Because that is why he was here. He was just stuck on what to do.
He hated this feeling, being lost on something that he could handle but somehow he couldn't. But Cloud didn't want to ask for help. This was something that he needed to do on his own.
And if that meant observing and thinking for hours as to what to do, then so be it. It was already thirty minutes since he arrived in Sector 8. He should be able to figure it out…
Really, this shouldn't be complicated but for some reason it was. Cloud couldn't help but overthink this. It was Valentine's Day and he wanted to do something special for Zack, even if it was out of his comfort zone. That smile would make it worth it.
For as long as he's known him, Zack was always a romantic lover. He knew what made him happy, blush, and even stutter - much to his dismay. Zack was the kind of person that was always enthusiastic about life, an optimist, and he was pretty wise too when he wanted to be. He knew how to make Cloud content with his life and how to make the blonde happy even with his antisocial and jackass moments.
Cloud knew he wasn't a romantic or social partner. He never was. He was reserved, shy, and awkward in conversations. The fact that Cloud handled missions at all in Shinra for four years as a SOLDIER was surprising on its own. He rarely spoke, he got the mission done, and he left. He remembered the president calling him an "obedient dog" once because of it, but it wasn't like Cloud gave a shit enough. But when he dated Zack, the dark-haired man assumed he would get out of his shell.
And he did, a little, but it was still difficult with strangers. Tifa told Zack that he was just harsh with people he didn't know, but he guessed Shinra's puppy wanted to challenge that.
But… It didn't work. And it took a while for Zack to understand that message. Not that Cloud was bothered by it. He admired that Zack was pushing him to be a better person. That's what he liked about him. Though they were complete opposites of each other - someone engaging and talking like Zack with a completely secluded asshole like himself - they cared for one another. They adored each other as partners would.
So he wanted to do something that showed his appreciation. And what better day to do this than Valentine's Day?
He just needed to figure out what to get him.
Should I get him chocolates? He likes sweets right? He liked that pie Tifa made a while back… No. I want to do this on my own. I shouldn't ask Tifa for help and I don't want to buy something from someone. Maybe flowers? Same problem. Don't want to ask Aerith for help either. There's getting a new phone, but he insists on getting it on his own… Plus he can't remember where he puts his stuff anyway–
"Cloud?"
He lifted his head and turned around to see a petite woman walking toward him. A familiar face after he left SOLDIER. He didn't expect a Turk to be here, but they always showed up when they needed to be. Plus, she was Zack's friend.
"Cissnei, right?"
"Oh, you remembered me?" She laughed softly, moving a strand of red hair behind her ear. "I should be honored. I heard you don't remember names you're not interested in. When you were in SOLDIER, I mean."
Cloud could only sigh in tiredness, his eyes closing momentarily as his already thin patience waned. Shinra never changed. Rumors always passed around and no one could clarify shit until an email was sent from headquarters. "Here to keep tabs on me?" The blonde cut to the chase, crossing his arms.
"No, this was a coincidence." She clarified, but Cloud doubted it. Turks never say what their missions were, but it was weird they were watching First Class SOLDIERs. He would ask what happened, but that was a waste of time and not his problem anymore. But there was Zack… And he didn't want Shinra to do something to him.
Focus. That isn't what's important right now.
"...Right. What do you want?"
"Well, I noticed you were walking around for a while. Maybe you need some help with something?"
Shit. He really didn’t need this right now. And him becoming silent wasn't solving the issue either. In fact, his silence made her tilt her head in question. But he was having some trouble figuring out what to say. What could he say to her that would make her back off? He decided nothing would.
So he did what he normally did. Push people away.
"I'm fine," He said, withholding a sigh because he was tired of doing so already. Instead, he rolled his eyes. "You don't have to watch me like I'm a kid or something. Go bother someone else."
"Oh really? But you eyed the shops for a while now. Maybe you're thinking of getting a gift?"
"...It's none of your business."
"You've eyed some phone places too." The woman pointed out, her index finger in the air like she discovered some sort of secret. "And some tickets to Loveless. Taking out a girl? Maybe planning on a date?"
"Just piss off already. I don't have time to play a guessing game with you." You would think she got the hint, but she was… persistent. He wondered if all Turks were like this. Reno and Tsung were when they wanted something done. But really, he was wasting time before Zack came back to the apartment. He didn't care that it was an hour or two away, it was time for him to figure out what the hell to do.
She was about to say something else. He heard her speak again - he didn't hear what it was -, but he ignored her and turned away to go to Sector 1. Maybe the slums had better choices than the upper plates-
But she stepped in front of him, stared at him with her amber eyes, then smiled as she pointed out something else that he was doing earlier - "While I roamed around I saw you looking at this flower girl too. Is that your date? Or were you looking for flowers?" - while Cloud blinked and stepped back. She was fast. But she was also pissing him off with how persistent she was.
He sighed again, shaking his head. He gave up. Clearly, she wasn't going anywhere. He could leap onto the building next to him and - somehow - she'll be next to him to say something else.
God, this was making him tired.
"What do you want?" Cloud Strife wasn't an asshole without a reason, but he felt this reason was valid. With his mako green eyes, passive stone face, and a sneer that could scare any man away - maybe that would be enough for her to get the goddamn hint to fuck off.
"I'm just trying to help out a friend's friend," she said with a smile, not bothered somehow. "Is there something wrong with that?"
"It is when I told you to leave me alone. I can handle this on my own."
"Hmm…" Cissnei paused for a moment, her lips curling into a thoughtful expression, before shaking her head. "No… I don't think you do."
Well, she got him there. He didn't have shit and he was too stubborn to say otherwise. He pressed his right hand on his hip and remained silent. But still, he could think of something. It wasn't like he wasn't able to think for himself. He just wanted this to be perfect, to mean something without anyone's help.
But the last part was becoming harder the longer Cissnei was in front of him. Maybe if he ignored her, she'll lose interest-
"You know, you didn't say if this was for a girl or not. Maybe a guy?"
"I said it's not your business. This doesn't involve you. I don't get why you're so interested in this."
"Because, according to Zack, you'll push everyone away unless someone pushes you in a corner." Cissnei's smile widened. "And since you won't ask for help, I'll just help you anyway."
Wh-? Why did Zack say that?! To a Turk?! Was he crazy?!
… Nevermind. Anyone wanting to become SOLDIER was insane in some aspect. Himself included. That's probably why Cloud got along with most classes in SOLDIER and didn't give a shit about the ones who disliked or hated him.
He groaned.
"But since he knows that much, I guess that means both of you are dating, right?"
Cloud then looked up shocked, which he regretted immediately. Her grin widened and he swore she loved interrogating him.
"I knew it. He talks about you all of the time you know. Even when you left SOLDIER, he always talks about his "Nibelheim Chocobo"."
He even told her the fucking pet name?! Who else did he tell?! Oh my God, did he tell Angeal? Genesis? Sephiroth?!
He groaned again, his free hand now covering his face. Yeah. Not only will he kill Zack, but he'll punch him in the gut. And kick him. Goddamn it.
"So…. Am I right?"
He couldn't hide it now. Not only the truth but the blush that was creeping on his face. He groaned louder and pinched his nose. Cloud was sure she saw his blush because her demeanor didn't change.
"Honestly," she said, her smile lowering a bit. "Both of you are cute together. I'm happy for you."
"Y-Yeah…" This was not how he wanted Shinra to find out. Actually, he didn't want them to find out at all. But Zack just had to say something-
"Well, since I know who the gift is for, what he wants. He says it often."
Now that got his attention.
He lifted his head from his fingers, the blush finally dying down after his embarrassment. Cloud crossed his arms to hide his discomfort in asking this type of question, and he shifted his weight from one leg to another. “So… What is it?”
“Change your mind? I thought you said that you could find something on your own. That you didn't need my help.”
She got him there, but… He needed help as much as he hated to admit it. He's been roaming around for almost an hour now and it was a matter of time before Zack was going to call him or text him to ask where he was. But he knew Zack wasn’t overprotective; he just liked to spend time with Cloud when they both had free time, which was fine with him.
“...Look, I’m running short on time." He murmured, though he didn't look her in the eyes because of his embarrassment. "Any help you give… I would appreciate it, Cissnei...” That was as much as a 'sorry' he could give, even if it was pathetic. But at least he showed her he was serious about this.
“... So you finally admit it.” The woman said, showing her small smile again. Cloud didn’t show any expression this time. He was already embarrassed to ask for help when he just denied it. “All right then. Sometimes we talk before we go on missions, yeah? And he always speaks about everything you've accomplished so far. He also said that you're shy, so you don't give gifts often, but when you do it's always something special. I guess he means that he likes your gifts because they always come from your heart."
"... My heart?"
"It's like…" she paused in a thoughtful expression before continuing. "When you pick gifts, it's something that means a lot to both of you. You took your time to get it and you looked at something that reminded you of him. It shows that you love him and he's aware of it."
Oh. It was that word again. The one Zack said so often and the one he struggles to say back.
Cloud adjusted his footing, his eyes now focused on the gravel in thought.
They were together for years, as long as Cloud was a cadet for Shinra. Even though Zack was a SOLDIER before him and Cloud always doubted himself, it didn't stop them from caring for one another. He almost couldn't believe it was six years ago since they met and a year later when Cloud was eighteen, that they decided to date. He didn't expect this relationship to last so long and he thought Zack would be tired of him. But he's still here, loving him like a damned puppy and sharing his relationship with his friends.
So for Cloud to not be able to say that after so long bothered him much more than it should. The SOLDIER said it after their second year together and told the blonde to not rush it. But it wasn't about rushing it. He has tried to say it before, but it wasn't because Zack said it and he needed to. He just needed to stop being such a dick and say it. But something was holding him back. Cloud didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the fear that after he said it, Zack would think he was trying to please him or thought they were going too fast. Yeah, he knew it was irrational after five years, but that was the only thing he could think of.
And though Zack said it was alright, the face of disappointment and - sometimes - the sadness that came with it always haunted him. If Cloud could just show him how much he cared… to say that he fucking adored him for the past five years they were together... That he would…
He lifted his head a bit, eyelids kissing his cheeks only twice, before glancing at the petite woman in front of him. She seemed to be waiting for him and tilted her head in curiosity but her smile returned when his gaze was on her. She was an odd woman, he noticed. No wonder Zack talked about her.
“Figured something out?”
“Yeah…” He would thank her, yet he didn’t know how. Not to a stranger anyway.
“You don't have to worry about paying me back by the way. Just tell me how it works out. I’m curious to know.”
More like nosy, he thought but kept that to himself. But since she's Zack's friend, he guessed he could cut her some slack.
"... He'll tell you later." He said, now turning away from her. He had an idea of what he wanted to get Zack, but he didn't want to waste any more time speaking to her.
He guessed she got the message because Cissnei wasn't following him anymore.
"That's true…" she murmurs with a thoughtful face. She then snaps her fingers after a moment. "Then how about you tell me later on how it went?"
Cloud paused in his steps in silence. His stoic expression is slightly weaning in thought. Well, she did help him out.
But he also didn't owe her anything.
"I'll think about it." He said, then moved on. Whatever she said next he didn't pay attention to. He heard vague words of 'good luck' and 'I'll be rooting for you', but he didn't acknowledge it.
There were a lot of things in his mind and one of them was finding the best way to show the damn thing. Regardless, his thoughts went back to uncharacteristically perfectionist ways that somehow slipped back into his mind. He was just focused on the gift; on what to say, how to show it, and what Zack's reaction would be. He was almost petrified if it wouldn't be what Zack hoped for or maybe, just maybe, his thought of the gift was too much and too fast.
Cloud stood outside of the shop, staring through the enormous display window so he wouldn't block the door. Couples went in and out of the small building, some families and others on their own did too. But there was something in this shop that Cloud was eyeing for a while now. He just had to get it.
He just wanted to be sure it was the right gift to get.
Buzz buzz
Buzz buzz
The blonde blinked for a moment before he noticed something vibrating in his pocket. Wordlessly, he took it out and…
Oh, it was his PHS. He forgot he had it on him. Not sure how he forgot since he checked the time on it not too long ago. Maybe Cloud was more in his thoughts than he expected.
With a sigh and a furrowed brow, the ex-SOLDIER decided to check his messages and mail while he contemplated. Some clients asked when he was available. A message from Tifa about the date and time since she begged him to help around the slums of Sector 7. One from Sephiroth, saying he needed him for something personal (whatever that meant). And one from…
His eyes widened a bit, he felt his heart palpitate, his cheeks felt hot, and his hands felt warm…
Cloud touched the message, wanting to see what it said.
'Hey! What's shakin' bacon?!
You're probably busy with mercenary stuff, but I'm home now! Work was crazy, man, but I finally have days off! Can't wait to love you when you get here! 🥰❤️'
….
Really? The bacon thing?
Cloud couldn't help his scoff, but he felt his lips curling into a smile. That was the corniest introduction Zack had in a text message and it was… that.
Shaking his head out of disbelief, he decided to text back.
' Almost done. I'll be home soon. Also never say that bacon thing again. You sound old.'
Once he pressed send, he didn't expect Zack to read and type so quickly. The blonde only rolled his eyes at the other man's eagerness.
'That's not nice to say, Cloud! 😭 You're only two years younger than I am!'
'Doesn't matter. No one says that anymore. Try something else.'
'Fine! How about uh… "Hey, sexy"! Or "Hey big bird"! Oh! What about "hey hot stuff"!? Those are better right?"
They were certainly not better.
'No to all of them. Especially the bird one.'
'You can't do that! Well, the bird one, fine I get it, but not the other two! …Okay. I'm calling you my sexy Chocobo since you won't pick!'
Cloud could feel the nape of his neck becoming hot and red with embarrassment. Holy shit why was he like this? He decided to hurry up and pick if Zack was gonna use that .
'God, fine. "Hot stuff."'
'Okay, hot stuff it is! 👍'
This man will give him a heart attack if he lets him.
'Annnyyyway, hurry up and finish! I miss you 🥺'
But even if Zack Fair gave him a heart attack and died, Cloud knew he would be brought back by his damned puppy eyes. Even through the phone, his magic worked.
Though it didn't help he saw his face every day.
'Miss you too. Finishing up now.'
'Kk! ☺️'
Cloud watched his message as it was reacted by a series of hearts. And, even though Zack went offline, the blonde still eyed the messages they just had.
Most people didn't get a reaction like this out of him. He wasn't a social person and, very often, he needed someone to help him seem nicer to strangers. Very often he would tell someone to 'buzz off' or just stare at them until they got the message to leave him alone.
But Zack was…
Cloud's eyes went back to the display window, noticing that the gift he was eyeing was being watched by another person. He wasn't worried about it being bought, but the reaction of glimmering eyes told him something.
That Zack, no matter what, would appreciate it. And then he'll be able to show how much he loved this asshole with all of his heart.
This needed to work. It had to.