Work Text:
Ganyu sat by her desk, trying to finish the enormous amount of work she had not had time for during the day. She was exhausted, and her focus was all over the place. It was bothersome, but she was managing, slowly but surely. That’s what she told herself, at least.
A knock on her window made her jolt up from her seat with a new found energy boost. She whipped her head around, and jumped up in surprise. It was just Kazuha, but god, that was a scare and a half. A part of her got excited as soon as she recognised him, it'd been a while.
Kazuha and her had met at one of Ningguang’s parties, and had gotten quite well along. They met up whenever he was in town at first, and eventually started dating…ish. Everyone called them the cutest couple, but Ganyu was barely sure if they were a couple.
Ganyu loved him with all her heart, she adored him like no other, he was her safe space, and the light at the end of the tunnel, the reason she'd remember to take care of herself occasionally.
Kazuha on the other hand… Ganyu wasn’t sure. She felt like he thought of her as a simple toy for his own fun little game, she might’ve not even been the only person he was seeing. He would usually turn up high, be gone for months, break it off, and apologize. Sometimes some steps were skipped, but never was he sober.
The little bit of Ganyu’s excitement turned into hurt, accompanied by a soft glare. She couldn’t be too angry with him, and there was always the off chance that he was sober this time. It wasn’t impossible, right? She gave him the benefit of the doubt. Of course she did, that was the love of her life standing outside her room.
She finally moved to open the window for the Inazuman, who slipped in with a gentle smile. Ganyu was melting. He was gorgeous, but the scent hit her immediately. Before even saying hello, she let out a soft, disappointed “oh…”
Kazuha noticed the upset, and opened his mouth to say something, but Ganyu just shook her head. “It was a mistake to let you in, please leave…” She felt angry, disappointed and hurt. She gave him yet another chance, and here she was, about to let tears fall.
“My love…” Kazuha tried to reach out to her, but Ganyu stepped away. “Please, I came here because I lo-” Ganyu did not let him finish, and just slapped her hand over his mouth. Anything to shut him up. It would hurt too much. She did not want to listen to him sweet talk his way out of this.
“Get out, you don’t love me, you’re just high and lonely, like always,” She wanted to curse at him, yell at him, insult him, tell him the most vile, horrendous, awful, most hurtful things he’d ever heard, but of course she couldn’t do that. That’s not who she was, and it was Kazuha who she was talking about.
Kazuha looked shocked, almost like someone had killed his entire family,,, or, well… maybe not that much, but he looked hurt. Like he wasn’t expecting that. “Wait, Gan-”
“No, absolutely not. Get out, I want nothing to do with you anymore, I just wanted you to love me, and here I am,” Ganyu hadn’t expected to reveal so much, but the man needed to know how much he was hurting her. She'd already started anyway. “You’re under the influence every time you come to me, and I’m probably not even the only one.” she spat, as the most other just stared. "Was I even your first option…" she trailed off, not wanting to show herself so vulnerable.
Kazuha blinked, surprised she felt that way. “My love,” he spoke as softly, and as lovingly as he could. He was horrified, truly. What if there was no fixing this, what if he’d lose the only person he saw in a crowd of people. He wanted to reach out, hug her, tell her she was the only thing he’d known for months.
But now it was all crumbling down. He had messed up, and it might’ve been for the last time.
“No, no, no, no.” Ganyu tried to stay firm, and pointed at the window. “It’s- It’s over, go.” She was tearing up. No one could ever replace him, but it had to be done. “I- I don’t love you anymore.” Of course it was a lie. He was her everything.
Kazuha stepped back. "We can fix this, please, I-" he looked at her, almost appearing panicked. "I'll even stop coming around high, darling, please," He begged, willing to do anything to keep her around.
For a moment, he thought Ganyu looked hopeful, letting her glare disappear for a split second. But she stayed firm, and shook her head. “No more, please stop,” She whispered, starting to visibly break down.
Kazuha paused. Of course, he understood that this was the end, but that didn't stop his heart from shattering. He’d lost the most important person in his life, and he’d been the cause of that. “I’m… so sorry,” he said as tears threatened to spill like a waterfall. He turned around to leave, and before he could close the window back, he could hear her let out a sob.
His heart broke into another million pieces. He never meant to hurt her, but it was clearly better for her if he stayed away.
Why’d he have to be such a coward? She just wanted his love, and he didn’t manage to show it. Of course he loved her, and now he’s the reason she was hurt. Hell, she’d probably overexhaust herself by drowning herself into her work even more.
Kazuha knew he’d messed up, and as he made his way towards his hotel, all kinds of apology plans ran through his brain. Of course he knew it was long past repair, and all he could do was blame himself.
Tears started falling, causing the bitter wind to practically freeze his cheeks. Were the tears out of anger, or sadness? He hadn’t figured it out yet, maybe it was both, or something else.
“Please sleep well…” he mumbled, like he used to when they fell asleep together. It was almost like he could still feel her warm back against his chest. She would toss and turn for a few minutes, she always did. Eventually settle down, head against his chest… it was all a memory now huh…
His steps slowed down as he found a wall to support himself against. It was like he couldn't stand anymore, and as more tears fell, his knees also gave out. He slid against the wall, staying there for hours.
Ganyu was no better. She was trying so hard to put her focus on the pile of work, but it felt impossible. The tears wouldn’t stop, threatening to even ruin the paperwork. She didn’t even know her body could feel so weak. It hurt, everything hurt, physically as well.
At this point the only thing she could think of doing was try and sleep, despite acknowledging that it would be almost impossible. It was what others usually do when they're upset, after all.
She pushed herself up to a standing position, and wondered if that was how Qiqi felt. Every step felt like her flesh was being ripped apart, and the bed suddenly felt hundreds of meters away.
She crashed down onto the soft mattress as soon as she reached it, and turned herself a bit, just trying to get comfortable. She was surprised at how empty the bed felt, even though it was in its usual state. She was craving to be held for once, but she’d done the right thing. At least she hoped so.
She tried to remind herself. He was a scum, did not love her, pushed her away, and only came around when he was under the influence and lonely. She deserved… better yeah. She deserved better than the best she’d ever had…
Ganyu felt sick, she felt like vomiting due to sheer amount of sadness. He was gone, but was it really for the best? She craved his soft voice telling her to sleep well, she missed the sound of his heart beating quickly, she wanted him to hold her through this…
No, she needed to get over him. This was pathetic… But was it what it was like to be human… Did he really just waltz into her life, make her feel accepted and like a regular human, just to ruin her?
She hugged her pillow tightly,. It would go away, she would not feel this awful all the time. The tears would stop eventually. She’d be alright. She always ended up alright, and if she put her heart into her work, no one else would even question it.
Yes, it was perfect, no one would worry and question, so she could forget about it faster.