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Sam licked her tongue as she walked into the prison to see Billy. She smiled as she walked through the metal detector and waved her hand at Matthews. He had gotten used to Sam visiting Billy every Friday and Sam sometimes talked to Matthews during his breaks.
”What room today?” Sam asked
“B4” Matthews told her “Have a good day Sam.”
“You too!” Sam called a she called towards the room where Billy was waiting for her
She froze when she saw him though, he wasn’t wearing his usual white shirt under his prison uniform. Just the short sleeved orange jumpsuit, that wasn’t the part that caught Sam’s attention however. What catch her attention was the scars that lined his arms, some of them were probably from his victims but…Some of them looked self-inflicted, others looked like they might have been…cigarette burns?
She didn’t return Billy’s half-hearted greeting, she didn’t even hear it and instead walked in long, quick strides towards him. Sam didn’t really think through it as she grabbed Billy’s arm and yanked it towards her so she could get a better look. He didn’t say anything as Sam looked over all his scars and she couldn’t hide the horror that appear on her face when she saw the scars on his wrists.
She looked up a Billy, hoping that he would be able to give her some comfort. She hoped that he would tell her that they weren’t what she thought they were. Billy won’t meet her eyes however, instead he seemed very interested in the plastic grey table he rested his other arm on. Sam finally sat down and didn’t say anything, Billy slowly pulled his arm back, resting his elbow on the table.
“What happened?” Sam asked
“Which time?” Billy asked, his voice more monotone then it had been in months
Sam looked over his scars and tried to think about which one would have the easier story. Which one wasn’t because of a horrific attempt to take his own life. She didn’t even want to considered how he got the cigar burns. She had to start somewhere and point to the two long scratch marks along his forearm. Clearly she made the right choice because his eyes seemed much lighter than they had before.
”Maureen Prescott was a fighter” Billy explained, voice still emotionless
Slowly she began to look over the scars that lined his arms again, she could tell which ones came from separate incidents. Some scars weren’t as faded as others, some were thin others were thick with scar tissue. Sam pointed at the cigar burns on his arm, she didn’t really want to know the story behind them. At the same time however, she felt Billy would tell her about them either way, and she’d rather get through it sooner rather than later.
”My father used me as an ashtray” Billy sighed
Sam felt her eyes starting to water and she tilted her head up slightly so the tear would soak back into her eyes. She didn’t want to cry in-front of Billy, she didn’t want to cry for him of all people, she’d rather save them for someone else. At the same she couldn’t help but think of all the what-ifs that were now running rampant through her mind. If Hank Loomis hadn’t been such an asshole to his kid would Billy have still defaulted to murder after his mom left. If Nancy Loomis had just taken her son with her would she still exist? If she did would he have been a present father, a good father unlike his own?
She didn’t want to continue thinking about this and she didn’t even bother pointing to the scars on his wrist. She knew where they came from and she didn’t even want to hear him say it. Sam tried to make the conversation more cheerful and Billy tried to lighten it myself. There was an edge to the conversation, they both could feel that the mood was ruined by the first conversation they had.
Sam didn’t stay for as long as she normally did. The prison gave visitors and inmates an hour per visit, she left around 25 minutes through her visit. She gave Billy a much more gentle goodbye before she got up to leave however. She put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze as she felt the room.
She didn’t see Billy’s reaction as she had already turned away and was speed walking towards the door. If she had stayed long enough to see Billy’s face she would’ve seen the confusion and thrill on his face. His face was much softer, and he knew Sam probably didn’t understand how much that small touch meant. She didn’t know that was the first time in a long while that someone touched him without the intent to hurt him. After Sam left the guards entered the room and removed his handcuffs from the table and lead him back to his cell. He wished that the visit had gone better than it did, but they could make up for it next Friday.
Sam stopped by Matthews while she was leaving, he frowned when he saw the tears in her eyes. He put his hand on her shoulder and tried to comfort her, which was hard when he didn’t even know what was bothering her. He first asked the important question, did Billy hurt her. Sam shook her head so fast, Matthews thought that she gave herself whiplash and he scolded himself gently.
He knew Billy wouldn’t have hurt her, he made become much more passive once Sam started visiting him. Sam seemed to calm herself enough to look Matthews in the eye and speak.
”He didn’t have a chance” Sam mumbled “Life never gave him a chance to become something else.”
“What?” Matthews asked “What do you mean?”
”Billy” Sam sobbed, finally letting herself break down “He was doomed from the very start.”
While Matthews didn’t fully understand what Sam was talking about he did his best to calm her. After she was calm enough she left the building and drove away, leaving Matthews stunned. Once he was sure Sam was gone and wasn’t coming back for whatever reason, he started digging. He had a feeling that Billy Loomis’ past held many more secrets and was much darker than people thought.