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There was never a question of what she would do once the choices were laid before her. For once in Andromeda Shepard’s life, she wished to be selfish, but she couldn’t. The thought of the life flowing out of EDI, or Legion’s sacrifice being in vain, it was too much. No, she couldn’t be selfish this time. But she was allowed a selfish moment. The blue eyed woman closed her eyes, she threw back her head as if that would keep the tears from ebbing out the corners of her eyes and knew that it was useless, but at least when she closed her eyes the woman was able to see a face that would be the only one she accepted to be as her last memory.
Garrus. His eyes, so sharp and focused, were on her as if he could see her now as she was and that thought was almost enough to snap her eyes open, to chase the tears away but then she would have lost the view of his face. So no, it couldn’t be done. Those eyelids squeezed shut even tighter and she was biting her lip. The bastard was waiting for an answer before her, but he must have known what she was picking. The only thing Andromeda could, the fairest choice.
That Turian had given her only one order in all their time together, and Shepard couldn’t even give him that. She prayed he would understand someday, perhaps realize how much more important this decision was. Though Andromeda knew Garrus would have picked her, it was only a relief then that he was not actually here to make her falter more than she already was, or to pick her over whole races of beings. Beings who deserved a chance. There was a metallic taste in the back of her throat, but it was time to give in to her decision, to do what was right.
Would he feel it? That moment when she ceased to be? Part of Andromeda hoped not, she didn't want him to have the burden of this but there was no choice in that matter. He loved her as much as she loved him, from the very first moment the option of them was on the table, they had both decided to take that step. One final breath, one last memory, his voice was echoing in her own mind, "come back alive." His face swam before her eyes, the way his mandibles flared slightly when she walked in the room, as if she took his breath away, and his gloved hand tracing down her arm when she walked to his side. Would everything flash before her eyes before she died? From the first moment he spoke to her, to their first night together?
“I….I can’t condemn them.” Her voice threatened to break, that was all that she needed to say. Those tired hands were balled into fists, threatening to shake. The soldier wasn't scared, but overwhelmed at the loss of the only person who ever loved her as she needed. Andromeda pressed on to say something else, her voice would echo this message for all eternity, somewhere, in the vast spaces, “I’m sorry Garrus.” Maybe someday, he would hear that message as it left the only part of Andromeda’s regret bouncing in soundwaves for the rest of time. She meant it. If only once...she could have been selfish.
