Chapter Text
The room was yellow.
Alfendi would end up in this yellow room three times a week, after the snowy day. Today Miss Ellie was washing her hands at the sink while he rocked back and forth in the rocking chair. Grasping tightly onto the orangey teddy bear named Ned, and some of the colored blocks.
He knocked the blocks together to their sounds. Miss Ellie sat on her knees and patted the yellow carpet, “Why don’t you sit beside me? I want to play with blocks too.”
Alfendi tossed the blocks down, trying to aim in a way to not hit her. He then buried his face in the teddy bear.
“Thank you for giving them to me, but I would like to know if you want to play with me?”
Alfendi shocked his head and pointed at the dollhouse.
“Would you like to play with the doll house?” She asked pulling the dollhouse closer to her and tried handing over one of the cloth dolls.
He took it but shook his head again, and made a house shape with his hand.
“Do you want to go home?” Miss Ellie asked, “I’m sorry if you want to but you can’t right now.”
Alfendi nodded and hurried his head back into Ned, “Can you read a book?”
“Of course I can,” Miss Ellie shuffled through the titles, “Do you want the Pumpkin book again?”
- -
A knock on the door came near the end of the third book, “Come in.”
Alfendi shoved his face in Ned even further, a social worker came into the room holding the hand of a screeching girl. “Oh hey Ellie! Is this a bad time? We need somewhere for little Hellen to join in.”
Alfendi studied Miss Ellie’s face, she clearly was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. “Well we have ten more minutes of our session, but I’m sure Alfendi doesn’t mind, do you alfie?”
Alfendi shook his head, and thus Hellen was left in the room with them.
The next ten minutes was a complete disaster, Hellen tried throwing as many blocks at Miss Ellie that she could find. Miss Ellie was really good at catching.
Thankfully Hellen managed to calm down near the end and started playing with the dolls at the dollhouse. There was another knock at the door and Papa walked in.
“Hello Miss Ellen I hope you’re doing well.” Papa asked and knelt down by the rocking chair, using his hand to rock the chair a bit slower.
“I’m doing great, I would like to talk to you about Alfendi, and how he’s doing.” Miss Ellie said, leading him to right outside the room.
“Of course,” Papa scooped Alfendi up and he waved goodbye to Ned (and Hellen too). They both stepped outside and the adults started to talk while Alfendi closed his eyes preparing to take a nap.
Ms. Ellie rocked back and forth on her feet, trying to figure out how she wanted to word what she was going to say next. “I believe Alfendi is regressing. He’s been doing actions and talking like he did when I first started working with him… but more extreme at moments.”
Papa held onto Alfendi tighter and closed his eyes, “At home… he’s been… repeating Katrielle cries. He’s always had trouble telling me what he wants, if he was hungry he would just sit there until he would get tired. I had to eventually set a schedule for when he should eat. Now he’ll just do a certain cry for what he wants, based on Katrielle.”
“I see, it’s improving his communication in a way. How does he communicate with his teachers, and friends at school?” Ms. Ellie said, jotting more things down on her clipboard.
“Apparently he talks like any normal boy his age, but… the second I show up his whole demeanor changes.” Papa sighs, “He’s like this at home everyday.”
“I see,” Ms. Ellie pulls a small card out of her pocket and hands it to Papa, “I don’t specialize in this area and I want you to book a session with this psychiatrist. He might help Alfendi understand his emotions. He might be feeling some jealousy with the baby, I may not be right, and he’ll be helpful.”
“I understand,” Papa said receiving the card, “I’ll try to fit it into our schedule.”
“I have to go now,” Ms. Ellie said, “Can I get a hug Alfie?”
Alfendi pulled himself off Papa, managing to hide his shock in his cover being shown. He twist himself around and gets handed over to Ms. Ellie. He cups his hand and whispers in her ear, “Ms. Ellie… you’re a meanie.”
She gasps and Alfendi slides down, right after still giving her a hug. He took his dads hand and waved goodbye.
He looks at Alfendi, questioning what he thinks he heard him say. He then shakes his head and the both of them head up the steps and out of the room.
That was good, I don’t want to go there either.
Notes:
TW: Implications of Trauma and Regression
And Lexi if your still here 🗡 I want a rematch over applesauce 😤
Chapter 2
Notes:
Poor Miss Ellie I'm doing her dirty. She's not a meanie.
Alfendi goes with Layton to the psychiatrist office.It hasn't even started and... it's not going well.
CW: kinda shitty therapist if you read it that wayJump to the bottom for trigger warnings
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Papa sat him down in a big person chair with a booster. “This looks a lot like a doctor's office doesn’t it, my boy?”
Alfendi nodded while watching, papa placed Katrielle’s car seat beside his own chair. “Well, are you ready to talk to Mr. Reinfeld? He’s going to be here in a moment.”
Alfendi drew his legs up and hid his face in his knees, he started making a noise midway through a sob and an angry grunt.
“Alfendi please,” Papa said, placing his hand on his back and moving it up and down gently, “I don’t understand what you're trying to tell me. Can you please calm yourself down and tell me.”
I flipped myself back up and knocked his hand off. I always found it odd that I would have trouble remembering these parts, I don’t know if it’s a good thing now that I know. I should keep telling you.
I gripped my face in my hands to avoid the embarrassment while Alfendi kept sobbing, or maybe it was me. It’s still hard to tell to this day, I feel sorry for Pa. It must have been awful to figure out what was going on with me.
The door creaked open and a middle aged man with a bald spot stared at me. “Is this,” he checked his clipboard, “Alfendeh?”
“Alfendi,” Pa said, trying to pry my hands off my face, “Don’t you want to say hi to him, we’ve been having some trouble lately. I don’t know what to do.”
I think his voice cracked.
"I can tell. Now about those documents I asked for," The man asked towering over alfendi, surveying him.
"I had his teachers answer your questions, including his therapist and case worker. I emailed them to you." Papa said, picking Katrielle who was now looking around in awe of the new place, and trying to assist alfendi.
Mr. Reinfeld pushed a button on the wall that turned out to be an intercom. "Sherry, print out the documents from Mr. Layton please. Caseworker?"
"Yes, Alfendi is my foster son." Papa said, rocking Katrielle a rock back and forth, earning a giggle. Alfendi had completely folded into himself, now sucking his thumb. "Oh dear, he used to only do that when he first started being under my care."
"Mhmm," The psychologist said, writing things down on the; was it blue clipboard, a short woman with frizzy gray hair was scampering in. "If you can please leave those papers on my desk."
She made her way through the other door and we received a glimpse of a yellow room. She came back through with a few more parents in her hands. "For you sir," Pa received a stack of papers that were probably harder to carry than his hat, "And I'll leave this here for you dear."
She placed a cherry lollipop on the side table next to Alfendi and went to coo over Katrielle for a moment. I remember we wanted to poke her eye in with the lollipop stick.
Sherry I think, but I don't really know.
"Sherry, can you please leave?"
"Of course sir," she scampered away back out the door.
Everyone sat for a moment during an unformatted silence, while the Dr flipped through the documents. This was only instructed by Katriell's baby babbling.
"I see, I see." Mr. Reinfeld pushed the button again. "So sorry Sherry can you come back in and sit with the patient I need to speak patient's foster father separately"
She scampered back in and stood by the door.
"Don't worry Mr. Layton. She's a licensed Psychology assistant." He then stood up and opened up the door for Papa to come through.
Sherry sat down beside me while I watched the door shut.
God, I remember being so worried that I would have to leave home. I know it was unfounded but I was scared. Or maybe he does, I don't know. All I know is that we were sitting there, 8 years old, acting like an infant.
I wish someone would've told me how to handle a panic attack back then. The shaking, the breathing, blacking out. I have had them before this of course… but still I wish.
Oh God and the heart beating, I don't know what that lady was saying to him. She knelt down in front of Alfendi and started patting his leg. He started flinging a fist around trying to hit her. We were unhappy, we don't know, maybe scared. Why were we scared Papa was over there in that room. We hated it. Our breath it's gone, why can't we breathe!?!?!!?
We think we're floating.
Is it done yet we want free.
Papa is holding our shoulder, we didn't cry this time. Sherry just rubbed her hand back and forth on our back humming I think.
"Alfie, are you ready to talk to Mr. Rienfold?" Papa asked. We looked up to the man who seemed to tower over us. He's terrified, Alfendi I mean. Or maybe we are.
Ms. Ellie really was a meanie.
Notes:
TW: Regression, Disassociation, panic attack, violence
Adding this to AO3 I'm realizing that Reinfold sounds like Rienhold oops.
MickiBlay on Chapter 1 Thu 30 Mar 2023 02:39AM UTC
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