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“Guys, seriously, start getting ready.” Kevin said for what he knew was like the millionth time.
It’s not like they weren’t getting ready, it’s just that they kept getting distracted and playing around while getting ready.
They had a performance at a high school assembly. He remembered how fun those were when he was in high school, so of course he was excited for it. Everyone was, but he was getting so stressed by the preparation.
He glanced at the 4, still not even wearing their damn shoes or in the proper attire. Brian and Nick were wrestling on the bed while AJ acted like the ref and Howie was keeping score. The worst part was that Nick hadn’t even showered yet.
He sighed as he watched Nick tumble off the bed yet again, while Brian jumped at his victory.
It would’ve been funny if they didn’t have to be on the road in an hour and Lou said it was his responsibility to drive them and meet him at the school this time.
Kevin sighed, it was his fault after all. He told Lou to leave it all to him, and look what happened.
Maybe he was bad at telling people what to do, and who could blame him really. He was the youngest in his family, used to people telling him what to do and here he was with four people younger than him, 2 of which were literal children, and he couldn't even get them to listen to him.
Grabbing a brush, Kevin took several deep breaths. He didn’t want to yell at them. He tried telling himself that they’ll get it together soon.
He brushed his hair and for a moment he felt proud at how long it’s gotten. Lou’s been asking if he’s ever going to cut, but Kevin likes having it long. Sure, it’s at a weird length right now, but when he styled it, it looked great on him. He really liked having hair framing his face. He thinks it’ll look better once it grows more as well.
Once he was satisfied, Kevin went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
He locked the door and he could feel himself getting more upset as the seconds went by. He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and went about his routine, brushing harder than usual.
Kevin almost choked when he heard something bang the wall. He bit hard on the toothbrush. There goes the deposit. But Lou can deal with that anyway. It’s not like I paid anything in the first place. The hard part is explaining.
He was rinsing when he heard them laughing hard at something. Then there was the sound of running back and forth through the hall.
When he looked at himself in the mirror, he wasn’t surprised at the angry tears that formed in his eyes.
It was stupid, he thought, crying over something like this, but he couldn’t help it. He was beyond stressed.
He didn’t want to call Lou and ask him for help because he assured him that he could do it despite the other offering assistance at first. He wished he accepted that offer, or at least asked for tips.
Kevin sat on the edge of the bathtub and rubbed his face. All excitement he felt faded and he just wanted this day to be over.
He gave himself a moment to breathe, but he knew he couldn’t stay here all day because Nick still had to take a shower so he stood up and tried to make himself look normal.
Kevin went out and someone immediately ran into him, knocking him down.
“Ow..” he cursed himself at how wobbly his voice was. No, he wasn’t going to start crying here.
“Sorry, Kev.” Nick laughed, his arms wrapped around Kevin’s waist.
“Nick.” He said in a low voice and he knew he finally got through the kid.
“Yeah?” Nick asked with a nervous laugh.
“Go take the damn shower already.” Please.
Nick gave him a salute and stood up, reaching out to pull Kevin up, “You don’t need to tell me twice.”
The fact that Kevin did tell him more than twice was just…
AJ gave an “ooooooOooooOoo you’re in trouble, Nick.”
A look from Kevin shut him up real quick.
He sighed and mumbled that he was gonna wait outside.
“Kev...” Howie said, reaching out for him.
He shook his head, he didn’t want to talk. Howie frowned and turned to look at the other three.
He didn’t stay to hear what Howie was going to say. He just needed some time alone.
Kevin grabbed the car keys and went outside. It was hot, and here he was in a suit and tie. He didn’t waste time getting in his car and turning on the AC.
Kevin laid his head back against the seat, once again taking deep breaths. This was the last time he was doing this, next time he was going to ask for help.
He sniffed and pulled his hair behind his ears before rubbing his face. He groaned when his tears spread and used his sleeve to wipe his face clean.
Jesus, I said I wasn’t gonna cry, but look at me.
He wondered if this is what it was like for his parents when he was little, raising him and his older brothers.
He jumped when the passenger door opened and Howie got in.
Kevin immediately pulled his hair to hide his face, not wanting him to see the tears. No matter what they said, he still felt a little embarrassed around them over how easy it was for him to cry.
“You alright, Kev?” Howie asked.
He nodded, picking at his fingers, only now fully aware of how bad he was shaking.
“I’m sorry we were fooling around.” Howie continued.
Kevin shrugged, as if saying it was alright. He just didn’t trust his voice. He was still pretty upset.
“Nick’s already finished, and he’s getting dressed. He took a real quick shower, like not even 5 minutes….but it’s Nick. The other two just need their shoes.”
Kevin nodded again. The stress still outweighed the relief and they were still early. He knew if they left now they’d get there at least 10 minutes early.
Kevin wasn’t used to this. Nick and AJ were children. Brian still was a child to him, even if he was 18 and often told him he didn’t need him telling him what to do. He had to get used to dealing with their antics or this wasn’t going to work out.
Howie was the only one close in age to him, but he still joined the other three in their shenanigans at times. He once told him it was because the three of them were still kids and deserved to act like kids.
He just wished he could see that he needed help sometimes.
“Hey, it’s gonna be alright.” Howie said, “Look at me, Kev.”
He did, but immediately looked away after seeing how Howies eyes widened.
“You’re crying? Hey, man, why don’t we switch spots. I’ll drive.” Howie said, “You should take some time to rest. Were we stressing you out that bad?”
Kevin inhaled a bit and then nodded.
Howie reached out and pulled Kevin’s hair behind his ear, “It’s gonna be alright, I promise.”
“I know.” Kevin said, his voice thick, “I just don’t know how to get used to them….I’ve never…they’re….”
“I feel you. God, you should’ve seen it when it was just me, AJ and Nick.”
Kevin let out a small laugh, “How'd you handle it?”
“I didn’t. I mean I tried, but I gave up too easily.” Howie said, “I’m pretty bad myself, I see them having fun and I wanna do it too.”
Kevin smiled, “Yeah I’ve seen you.”
Howie seemed to choke on his words, opting to stare at him for a while.
“Howie?” Kevin said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, anything.”
“Could you help me out when they get like that? I mean I’m not saying you guys can’t have fun, it’s just on days where we have to do something it would be nice if everything went smoothly.” Kevin said, feeling his face go hot, “I can’t do this on my own.”
Howie reached out to hold his hand, “Yeah, I’ll help. I’m sorry for leaving it all to you.”
“Thanks.” Kevin said, “Do you still want to drive?”
Howie squeezed his hand tighter, “You’re still shaking. Come on, switch spots with me.” He said, not even waiting for a response before getting out of the car. Howie opened his door before he had a chance to unbuckle himself.
Kevin slid out, and smiled at Howie.
“You’ll be alright?” Howie asked, reaching out for his hand again.
Kevin let him hold it, loving how comforting his hand felt wrapped around his. He felt less stressed already and more at ease.
“Yeah.”
With his other hand, Howie reached up to pull a strand of hair that had fallen out behind Kevin’s ear.
Kevin unconsciously leaned towards the hand, smiling when Howies cheeks took a red hue.
Howie stepped away from him when the others came running out and Kevin couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt. His hand missed the warmth of Howies and the strength it had given him in that moment.
“Kevin!” Nick exclaimed, “Wait for us!”
He couldn’t help but smile, “Get in the car!”
Howie took the driver's seat and Kevin walked around the car.
“I thought you were driving.” Brian said, opening his side of the door. AJ and Nick got in through the other side, “You could’ve asked me to drive if you didn’t want to.”
“Howie offered.” Kevin replied, “You got everything? Your wallet, your—“
Brian laughed, “Yesss, Kevin. Jeez, you’re not my dad, bro.”
Kevin rolled his eyes, “Whatever, get in.” He said, while getting in the passenger seat himself.
Howie was busy adjusting the seat, muttering something about a 6 foot giant.
“Here.” AJ said, shoving himself in the middle of Kevin and Howie and placed a folded piece of paper onto Kevin’s lap.
“Put your seatbelt on, Alex.” Kevin said, grabbing it carefully, praying it wasn’t another one of Nicks pranks.
“Read it!!” Nick exclaimed.
Kevin opened the paper and felt emotions surge.
It was a bad drawing of the five of them holding hands with the words “We’re sorry” written underneath.
“Oh.” Kevin said, his voice already wobbly again.
“Howie got mad at us after you walked out.” AJ explained, “He said we were stressing you out and we felt bad.”
Kevin looked at Howie, whose face was turning into a tomato.
He smiled tearfully, “Thank you, guys. It’s a good drawing.”
“Stop lying.” AJ said.
“I told you guys to let me draw it, but noOooO, Brian wanted to do it.” Nick said.
“It’s a decent drawing!” Brian argued.
“No, it’s not!” Nick said, his voice getting higher.
“Oh, boy.” Howie chuckled while pulling out of the parking lot.
“Guys, I think the drawing is fine.” Kevin said, “I appreciate the gesture, really.” He wiped his eyes.
“See. He likes it.” Brian said.
“I don’t.” Nick pouted.
Kevin stared at the paper, unable to take the smile off his face. It was the little things like this that made everything alright.
That evening, Kevin hung the drawing on the fridge.