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Tsukishima was always with Yamaguchi.
As a matter of fact, seeing him or Yamaguchi without the company of the other would be a little weird, if you ask the rest of the Karasuno Volleyball Club.
To Tsukishima, it only felt natural.
Despite how he looked like he didn’t need anyone to be his friend, Tsukishima actually enjoyed having Yamaguchi by his side, he just wouldn’t admit it to Yamuguchi, or anyone.
***
Yamaguchi was sitting on Tsukishima’s bed, legs crossed, focusing on the book he held in hand. It’s a short stories book borrowed from Suga-san. On his left sit his best friend, who was also holding a book except that Tsukishima was not really reading.
Outside it was raining. The sounds of raindrops made Tsukishima feel at ease. They would have been in the cinema if not for the sudden rain, he didn’t mind the change of plan though. Usually Tsukishima was not a person of spending time doing nothing, somehow he found it quiet soothing just staring at Yamaguchi reading. The other boy was so drowned in the story that he didn’t even notice Tsukishima staring. (And Tsukishima would claim that he wasn’t looking at all if got caught, since ‘staring at your best friend secretly when they wouldn’t notice because that’s the only situation where you don’t have to pretend like you don’t care’ was way too uncool for Tsukishima to do.)
Yamaguchi’s features scowled a little. He was always expressive, contrary to Tsukishima. Why make such a fuss over almost everything? Tsukishima never understood. However, he’s fine with it, how could one possibly complain when greeted by Yamaguchi’s big grin every time they meet?
His eyes lit. Tsukishima thought. They always looked warm when looking at him, like right now.
“Tsukki! I’ve finished this! The last story was so touching, Suga-san was right about I would enjoy this kind of stories.”
“Hm.”
Tsukishima got caught off guard. Didn’t know what to respond, he adjusted his glasses.
“Sorry, Tsukki! Were you bored just waiting for me to finish this book?” The shorter boy tensed up.
Stop that. Tsukishima hated it when his best friend worried too much about something like that, it made his heart hurt.
“No; the rain has almost stopped, let’s get something to eat.”
***
They had dinner in a family restaurant within walking distance. Tsukishima finished his meal first, while Yamaguchi kept enthusing about the stories he just read between bites.
“I want to thank Suga-san for lending me his book, ah I should have asked for his number so I can text him now.”
Since when he and Suga-san became that close? Not as close as between him and Yamaguchi though. Sugawara is a good senpai, on and off the court. If Yamaguchi liked getting along with this kind senpai, Tsukishima wouldn’t disapprove. The part of Yamaguchi he didn’t know grew, Tsukishima wasn’t jealous or anything, just felt kind of sad.
***
“You don’t have to walk me home, Tsukki. I won’t get lost.” Yamaguchi said sheepishly.
“I just feel like walking after dinner.” Tsukishima shrugged.
I just feel like being with you a little longer. That he would never say.
“Do you wanna come in and hang out for a bit, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi invited.
“It’s getting late, maybe next time; see you tomorrow, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima turned, ready to leave.
“Ah wait Tsukki!”
“What?” He had no idea what the other boy was going to say.
“Well, I forgot to tell you that there was a girl asking me about if you had a girlfriend the other day. I believe she’s the manager of the tennis club? I told her you were not seeing anyone. But later I realized that actually we haven’t talked about this topic. So...do you?”
Yamaguchi looked like he was ready for whatever that’s upcoming, knowing his best friend wasn’t fond of that sort of dumb questions.
There was a pause before Tsukishima signed, “Do I look like I have a portable girlfriend living in my pocket?!”
“Ahahaha you are right, Tsukki, that was a dumb question, hahaha”
I don’t want any girlfriends you are the only one I want to be with! He wanted to let the boy in front of him know, instead he just swallowed all of that.
He couldn’t tell Yamaguchi. He cherished what they had right now. He couldn’t confess because he knew Yamaguchi had never thought of him as more than a close friend. The last thing he needed was Yamaguchi saying sorry Tsukki then avoiding all the things they used to do together. Or maybe Yamaguchi would accept his confession because the freckled boy was too nice to hurt his best friend’s feeling, in that case Tsukishima would hate himself for ever.
For the first time in his life, Tsukishima found it hard to look Yamaguchi in the eyes.
***
“I love you, Tadashi.” He said softly.
The sentence was repeated again and again.
He was all alone in his quiet room.
***
Tsukishima Kei loved Yamaguchi Tadashi. That one secret he would never share.