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The USWNT were a game away from the final of the Olympics. They had arrived at their hotel later than expected, and everyone was tired. Once they received their room assignments, everyone dispersed to their team floor, except for a few (much to their dismay).
Carli noticed Alex and Tobin head downstairs to the lobby. “Hey, you guys! Are you heading downstairs?”
Tobin nodded, “Did Pinoe ask to talk to you too?”
“Yup.”
“It looks like it’s just the three of us…I wonder what this is about.” Alex said as she walked downstairs.
They arrived in the lobby and looked around until entering the side lounge room. Pinoe was standing in the front with a smug grin on her face.
“That’s the Pinoe face…I don’t know if I like this…” Carli noticed.
“Welcome, gals. Welcome!” Pinoe gestured for them to sit down.
Alex raised her eyebrow, “Pinoe, why are we here?”
Tobin yawned, “Yeah, if you’re going to drag us down here at 11 p.m., it better be good.”
“Oh boy, do I have a treat for all of you! Let me set up the power point.” Pinoe reached for her iPad.
Carli rolled her eyes, “A power point? Seriously? When do you have time for this?!”
Pinoe ignored her question and held the iPad in such a way for her three teammates to see.
“Let us begin…” The slide switched to a picture of Hope punching out a ball in a game. “Meet Hope Solo- in my opinion, the best goalkeeper in the world. She’s pretty badass. You see, she has this resting bitch face with piercing blue eyes that make you cringe and dig your own grave. She’s fierce, she’s terrifying, and she’s resilient. She means business and you definitely don’t want to mess with her.” Pinoe switched to the next slide, which showed another, but very different picture of Hope. “This is also Hope- with her chickens. Hope Solo is a chicken whisperer. To the world, Hope is one scary human. But to us, her teammates, she’s a softie. Yes, I said it. Hope Solo is warm and gushy and basically a big teddy bear that just wants to be loved.”
“Where are you going with this?” Tobin yawned again.
“Shhhhh! I’m not finished!” Pinoe hushed her while changing the slide. “Alright, now meet Kelley O’Hara- a little peach fresh out of Georgia. We all know and love Kelley. She’s a key player on the team with her versatility and enthusiasm. Off the field, she’s a little package of everything that is silly and goofy in this world. Her laughter is contagious and she’s…bouncy...like a squirrel. Like, I’m pretty sure she was a squirrel in another life. But I digress. All in all, Kelley is lovely and I think it’ll be smart for us to keep her around.”
Pinoe continued with a new picture- Hope hugging Kelley tight as she buried her face in the keeper’s chest. “And together, we have O’Solo.”
“O’Solo? O’Hara and Solo? Like a couple name?” Alex was trying to understand.
“B-I-N-G-O- BINGO!” Pinoe annunciated loudly and grinned.
Carli was too smart for this, “Oh, I know where this is heading…You’re crazy, Pinoe. I’m out of here.”
“Carli-gosh, dang- LLYOD. Sit down!” Pinoe ordered.
Slightly frightened, Carli slowly sat back down. “Fine, let’s hear what else you have to say, but make it quick. I need my sleep.”
As Pinoe flipped through a bunch of pictures of Hope and Kelley together, she explained, “So there’s no doubt that these two are meant to be together. Kelley is the only person who can make the mean and tough Hope Solo lose composure, even if it’s for the slightest second. And Hope is the only person who can make Kelley lose focus during training because she’s too concerned with scoring a goal, if you know what I mean.” Pinoe winked.
Alex couldn’t help but let out a little laugh, “Keep going, Pinoe.”
Pinoe exclaimed, “The sexual tension between these two is off the charts. With Kelley as a defender, Hope gets a pretty good view- she can’t stop staring at her ass! And the way Kelley celebrates the end of each game by searching the crowd just so she can get her hands on Hope…like come on, you two, get a room! Aside from all the touchy feely stuff, I truly think they’re good for each other. They make each other laugh, and bring out the best in each other- see Exhibit A.” Pinoe referred to the picture of their little tweet exchange and the #thanksforbelievinginmefirst.
Pinoe commented on her teammate’s silence, “You know I’m right, don’t you? That’s why you’re so quiet! The main point I’m trying to make here is that these two belong together, and I think we need to get the O’Solo train on track.”
“Why us?” Tobin asked.
“Carli, you’re Hope’s best friend…Alex and Tobin, you’re Kelley’s best friends…are you putting two and two together? Oh! I even have code names for all of us. From now on, Carli will be known as Ice Cube, Alex and Tobin as Hipster 1 and Hipster 2, and I…” Pinoe paused for dramatic effect, “And you can call me…The Matchmaker.”
“Why did I even ask?” Tobin sighed.
“Ice cube?! Really?” Carli was slightly offended.
“I knew that might not sit well with you…uhm, how about Princess?” Pinoe smirked.
“We all know that Ali deserves that nickname now.” Alex pointed out.
“Whatever…soooo what do you guys think?!”
Alex felt herself start to smile. Pinoe was crazy, but there was a lot of truth to what she was saying, and she liked it. “This could be fun…I’m in!”
Tobin was half-asleep, “Sure…whatever, dude. I just want to go to bed.”
“Carli?”
“Fine! But lose the code names.”
“You’re no fun, you know that?” Pinoe pouted.
Carli replied, “I’m risking a lot for this, Pinoe…but you’re right. I hate to admit it, but Hope and Kelley are good together.”
“Alright, alright, alright!!!” Pinoe nodded. “And the mission commences!”
“Wait what’s the mission, again? Like not the goal, but what do we do now?” Tobin rubbed her eyes.
“Oh I didn’t get that far.”
“Pinoe!” Alex exclaimed.
“Sorry! I’m good, but not that good…why don’t you guys talk to your people first and then report back to me? We’ll take it from there. Now break!” Pinoe was way too enthusiastic about this.
As everyone went back to their rooms, Carli sighed and mumbled to herself, “Hope is going to kill me.”
-
The next morning, Carli noticed that Hope was sitting alone at breakfast and saw it as an opportunity to talk with her. “Mind if I sit with you?”
“Oh hey, Carli!”
Carli sat down, “So I’m just going to be straight with you because both you and I hate bullshit. What’s with you and the kid?”
“I’m sorry?” Hope didn’t quite understand.
“KO. Ever since Kelley’s been on your backline, you haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of her.”
“Carli, not now.” Hope tried to brush her off.
“I’m your best friend…you can share anything with me.”
“I can, but I don’t have to.”
“You have to be blind to not see that there’s something going on between you two. There’s nothing wrong with being happy, you know!”
Hope nodded, “I’m still not going to comment.”
Carli knew she wouldn’t be able to get much out of Hope other than a sentence or two. She gave up, but knew that Hope neither affirmed nor denied her relationship with Kelley. Something fishy was going on. She saw this as a challenge and suddenly felt the need to further investigate, as much as she hated to agree with crazy Pinoe and her hunches.
Meanwhile, Alex and Tobin had approached Kelley in her room as she prepped for the day. Alex began, “So are you ready for the final tomorrow? How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling good. The pressure gets to me sometimes, but I’m pretty focused on the field. Hope’s been talking through some things with me so that’s been boosting my confidence.”
Tobin furthered the conversation, “Speaking of Hope…”
Alex rolled her eyes- Tobin wasn’t the most discrete person ever. She took over, “You’ve been getting along with Hope lately haven’t you?”
“Well, yeah. We work together on the field…and she’s been great with my questions off the field. We’re having a good time this tournament.”
“You guys are pretty friendly, huh?” Tobin failed at discretion once again.
Kelley stopped what she was doing and nervously replied, “Uh…sure, I guess. When we were roommates a few weeks ago, we talked and it was good getting to know her better. So yeah, we’re friendly.”
“That’s all?”
“What do you mean?”
Alex hinted, “Well, I wouldn’t call you two just friendly…Kell, are you sure there’s isn’t something more?”
“What? Between Hope and I?”
“Kell, I’m not stupid. I see the way you look at her. She makes you really happy, doesn’t she?”
“She’s been really good to me.” Kelley simply said.
“Okay…and?”
“Look, you’re making me late for my recovery session. I’ll see you two later.”
Tobin smirked and said under her breath, “Yeah, your recovery session with Hope that is…”
Kelley ignored her friend’s comment and met up with her recovery coach. After some stretching, she joined Hope in the ice bath.
Hope’s face lit up as she saw Kelley step into the bath, “You weren’t at breakfast like you usually are…I missed you. Everything okay?”
Kelley sighed, “I’m good…sorry, I was just talking with Alex and Tobin.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Yeah, they’re acting kind of weird…they keep pressuring me in talking about us.” Kelley expanded, but assured Hope, “I didn’t say anything of course.”
“Us? Hmm…”
“I just thought it was weird…they, especially Tobin, aren’t the most observant people in the world. I know we’ve been a bit over the top with our contact, but it’s not like them to bring this type of stuff up during a tournament.” Kelley noticed.
“Carli’s been acting off lately too…”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she’s been eyeing me like a hawk, ready to pounce and talk to me. She also brought up my relationship with you, but that’s so odd since she knows that I’ll share things with her on my own time. She normally doesn’t bring things up herself.” Hope explained.
“Do you think they’re on to us?”
“Yea, but I don’t get why they won’t let us tell them when we feel comfortable. This isn’t like them.”
Making sure no one was around, Kelley quickly gave Hope a kiss on the cheek, “Don’t hurt yourself thinking, Solo. We need you tomorrow.”
Hope smiled back, “Love you too.”
-
After reporting back to their so called leader, Carli, Alex, and Tobin helped Pinoe plot their next step.
Pinoe remarked, “Well, if we’re going to make anything happen, it’ll be at the after party tomorrow night.”
“Assuming we win.” Carli pointed out.
Pinoe was shocked, “Are you doubting us, Carli-gosh, dang- Lloyd!?”
“Never! I’m just looking at all possibilities.”
“Okay moving forward…so it’s obvious they like each other, yet neither of them would confirm or deny it.” Pinoe clarified.
“Pretty much.”
“God damn it- why are they so stubborn?!”
“Maybe we should let them figure this out on their own…”
“No giving up now, gals! Don’t worry. Tomorrow is the big day. Once we win the game, we’ll have the after party and that’s the real challenge. We got this.”
“Wow, your priorities are really set straight.” Alex said sarcastically.
The USWNT came out on top just as everyone had predicted, taking home the gold. The second they won, everything became a blur. From the excitement between each other to the fans shouting in the stands and to the media buzzing around them, the team could barely catch a break. The only time they had to themselves was the after party, but even that was crazy. Yet Pinoe remembered the one goal for the night.
Pinoe wrapped her arms around her buddie’s shoulders, “Are you ready for taking home a second piece of gold?”
Tobin had one too many drinks, “What gold, Pinoeeee?”
Alex was tipsy, but still understood what Pinoe meant, “Tobes, she’s talking about O’Solo.”
“Shhhhhhh!” Pinoe looked around. “Keep it on the down low.”
Carli yelled through the pumping music, “NO ONE IS LISTENING TO US.”
“Oh my god Carli. Are you deaf?! It’s not THAT loud.” Pinoe said, but continued, “Okay, well you guys know what to do. Tobin, you’re with me.”
Alex went off to find Kelley, who was out on the dance floor. “KELLEY!”
“Huh? Oh hey best frann” Kelley greeted.
“Enjoying the party?!” Alex shouted.
“Not as much as this hardware around my neck!” Kelley held up her gold medal.
“Woohoo!!! We’re Olympians!” Alex screamed.
“Hell to the yes!”
“Have you seen Hope?” Kelley asked loudly.
Alex shrugged, “Uhhhhh no? Wait but Kell, come with me!”
“What?”
“Come on!” Alex held her hand and dragged her away from the dance floor.
Little did they know, Hope had been searching for Kelley. As she looked around, Carli intercepted her. “Hope! Looking for something?”
“Uh…have you seen Kelley?”
Carli smirked and shouted, “SO YOU TWO ARE A THING?”
“Carli, go home. You’re drunk.”
“KELLEYYYYY WHERE ARE YOUUUU?”
“Wow. You’re a hot mess right now.”
“I thought you wanted to find Kelley!”
“Let’s get you somewhere safe first.”
“Follow meee.” Carli walked away.
Hope followed her, but quickly realized they passed her room. “Wait, Carli, where are you going?”
“Tobin needs you.”
“What?” Hope was confused, but stayed by Carli’s side.
The pair of best friends ran into the other pair of best friends within a matter of minutes. Kelley exclaimed, “Hope! I’ve been looking for you!”
“Same! What are you doing up here?”
“Tobin needs me.”
“Well, that’s weird- Carli said Tobin needed me.”
Carli and Alex looked at each other with uneasy expressions. “Tobin is waiting for you in there.” They pointed to the room before them.
Hope titled her head, “Wait isn’t this Pinoe’s single room?” But before she could inquire further, she felt both Kelley and her get forced into the room where they heard voices in the bathroom.
“Tobin?” Kelley took a few steps forward.
Immediately, Pinoe’s head popped out of the bathroom and she cursed, “Shit.”
“Pinoe?”
They heard some retching sounds as Pinoe continued to curse and say, “God damn it, Tobin! The plan was to stay sober until they were in the room! God you’re such a child.”
Soon, Pinoe walked out with Tobin leaning on her. She helped her stand upright before shoving her outside the door and yelling, “Go find Alex!”
Pinoe whipped her head around, “Soooo where were we?”
Hope pointed towards the door, “I thought Tobin needed us.”
“Well, she doesn’t.”
“Why are we here then?”
“Uhm…wait, one sec.” Pinoe quickly grabbed a piece of paper and held it out in front of her. It had the word “INTERVENTION” written in poor hand writing. She grinned.
“What is this? What’s going on?” Kelley asked.
Pinoe explained, “Alright, let’s make this fast otherwise there won’t be any booze left for me. So basically you two can’t keep your hands to yourselves and deserve to be with each other. I know this is probably a shock to you, but the whole team sees it. Solo, you can’t be stubborn- just be happy with Kelley. And KO, just accept the fact that you’re infatuated with this might fine looking goalkeeper right here.”
Hope started, “Wait, I’m not being stubborn…Kell and I…”
Pinoe did not listen to one word she was trying to say as she interrupted, “Darling, darling, darling…do not be in denial. The stars and shit are aligned and I think you two belong together. My gay sense is strong.”
“What the hell does that even mean?” Hope asked.
“Oh, you know…” Pinoe winked.
Kelley stated, “Well, we actually don’t.”
“Okay, let me set some ground rules here. Everything is off limits except for the bed, which I think is pretty gracious of me. And please clean up after you’re done, okay?”
Hope’s jaw dropped, “Pinoe! What is…”
“Have fun, you two! DON’T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN’T DO!” Pinoe shimmied out of the room.
Hope and Kelley were left alone in the room, completely speechless. Hope chuckled, “What the hell just happened?”
“I think our friends just set us up.” Kelley managed to say.
“I should’ve known Pinoe was behind this.”
“Hope, don’t you think we should go out there and-” Kelley stopped talking as she felt a pair of lips crash down upon hers.
Hope now had her hands up Kelley’s shirt, exploring every inch of her body. She felt Kelley squirm underneath as she moaned. Kelley put her hands against Hope’s chest, “When are we going to tell them though?”
Hope smirked, “Just shut up and let me kiss you.”
Once Pinoe reconvened with Carli, Alex, and Tobin, she pumped her fist in victory and high fived them. She whispered excitedly, “And THAT is how you do it. Now let’s get drunkkkkkk!”
It was moments like these that Pinoe truly believed that she should just quit soccer and become a professional matchmaker.
-
The next morning, the sunlight shone into the room, waking up both Hope and Kelley who were sleeping contently in each other’s arms.
Kelley thought back on their crazy night and repeated, “We should probably tell them…”
Hope refused, “Ugh, no…I don’t want to. We should drag it out as long as possible…that’s what Carli gets for working behind my back with Pinoe.”
“I know, I can’t believe Alex and Tobin did this either.” Kelley said in disbelief.
“This isn’t exactly how I pictured us telling the team…”
“I mean, we have been pretty public with our affection for each other.”
“Well I can’t help but do what I do and feel what I feel with your body in front of me every day.” Kelley joked. “Look what you did to me last night! I lost it!”
Hope smiled and just kissed the younger woman once more, not expecting it to turn into a full make out session. As their bodies intertwined, the door flew open, revealing no other than their craziest teammate.
Pinoe barged in with a large megaphone. “Good morningggggg, lovebirds!”
“Jesus Christ, Pinoe!” Hope jumped and shouted as she grabbed the blanket to cover both her and Kelley.
Suddenly, Carli, Alex, and Tobin ran in, all out of breath. Their eyes were first drawn to Pinoe who had pounced on the bed, but then quickly drifted to Hope and Kelley who were trying (and failing to succeed) to keep their modesty.
They all shielded their eyes as Carli apologized, “Sorry, sorry, sorry!”
Alex added, “We didn’t mean to…uh…”
“We were trying to chase after Pinoe…we told her it wasn’t a good idea…” Tobin tried explaining.
Pinoe rolled her eyes and yelled into the microphone, “Oh stop being little children! It’s not like we haven’t seen each other bare before in the locker room!”
Carli winced, avoiding all contact (or rather death glares) with Hope, “Pinoe, come on. Leave them alone.”
Pinoe jumped off the bed, ignoring her, “Soooo…how was last night?”
“You don’t just ask questions like that!” Alex was embarrassed.
“Well I gave them my room didn’t I? So I deserve details!”
“Pinoe!” Carli, Alex, and Tobin exclaimed in unison.
Kelley spoke for the first time, “Is she still…drunk?”
“Probably.” Alex responded. “Kell, I apologize for..”
Pinoe had puppy eyes by now and interrupted once again, “Fine! If you won’t share details, then at least thank me! You’re welcome!”
Hope looked at Kelley and smiled. Looking back at their short-haired friend, she said, “Thanks…but no thanks. Pinoe, we hate to rain on your parade but uhm…we’ve been together for a good two months now.”
Kelley added, “We thought you guys knew or had some sort of idea…I’m sorry we didn’t share it explicitly with you guys, but we wanted to keep this between the two of us for as long as we could.”
“You know how private I am…” Hope said with a little frustration.
Kelley could tell she was a bit irritated and just put a hand on hers in order to calm her down, “We’re thankful for your support, though…”
Pinoe crossed her arms and began walking out of the room, “And you didn’t even think to stop us this whole time?”
Hope couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “Well! Serves you right!”
“I’m never going to help you two again. Good luck with your life without all this Pinoe magic!” Pinoe scoffed and walked out dramatically with an embarrassed Carli, Alex, and Tobin trailing behind.
Once outside the hotel room, the four teammates looked at each other like little puppies, dumbfounded that they had just been played by two of their very own. Hope and Kelley had been aware of their so called “covert” plan this entire time. Maybe they hadn’t been the most discrete matchmakers in the world. They had been so caught up in labeling Hope and Kelley as an official couple that they had failed to recognize the obvious signs before them. The overly friendly tweets, the extensive touchy-feely moments, and being attached at the hips weren’t just flirting…they were signs of a real relationship.
Pinoe couldn’t believe it and sighed in disappointment. Carli chuckled and gave her a quick side hug, “Sorry that you may not have a future in matchmaking…but hey, you’re still a kickass soccer player with a gold medal around the neck!”
Pinoe sighed loudly for dramatic effect, but then quickly shot her head up. Noticing the newfound fire in her eyes, Tobin asked, “Pinoe? I don’t know what you’re thinking, but the expression on your face is sort of freaking me out.”
“Oh, our matchmaking days are not over yet, gals.” Pinoe smirked and refocused her attention to two figures at the end of the hallway. “Hey, Ash and Ali! Wait up!”
Carli, Alex, and Tobin barely had time to blink before they realized what their blonde headed friend was up to, and quickly sprinted after her for the second time that morning.
“God damn it…PINOE!”